Well, Stimpy has been called away to cover for another shop so I’m on longer hours this week. Hopefully this is a very temporary situation and it’s not heading back to the seven-days-a-week and random shifts that precipitated my last attempt at resigning. My plan is to not do another Christmas in the shop. I plan to take my time and find some better-paid job I really want to do, not grab the first one available, but if it gets back to the madness that was before, then I will revise my plan to Easter.
So now we are into the bunch-of-CRUKs’ Dry January and I am pleased to report that I have failed to comply every single day so far. Tonight I have Isle of Skye, a blend of malts with an 8-year tag which means the youngest malt in there is 8 years old. Better yet, a small amount from the profits on each bottle goes to a Scottish mountain rescue charity – a real one – so the bottle has the tagline ‘Every bottle sold saves lives’. Stick that up your arse and shatter it, CRUK.
The donation to a real life-saving charity could be so much more, if only the government didn’t take most of the price of the bottle to give to a life-controlling ‘charity’.
The CRUKs want us all to stop drinking and to give them all the money we save by not drinking. I have a better idea.
I will keep the money I’d save by not drinking whisky and spend it on whisky. In tonight’s case, a whisky that includes a donation to a real charity instead of to a Government shill group who are nothing more than a front for lifestyle dictatorship.
I would add the donation I had planned to give to CRUK to the whisky fund for this month but sadly it would not make a penny of difference.
Perhaps I will donate again to Scottish Mountain Rescue tomorrow. Certainly a few more times this month. Every bottle I drink helps just a tiny bit so the more I drink, the more lives I help save. I’m saving the lives of idiots who climb up mountains and get stuck. Something I would never do. They made that life decision and instead of condemning them for it and declaring that they are a cost to the NHS and should be allowed to die, I am donating a little to help rescue them.
It’s a nice feeling, being good to people who had some bad luck and are suffering for it. It feels so much better than just sneering at them and whining about money at them and moaning about all the bother of helping them out. You Puritans might want to consider giving that attitude a try sometime.
Certainly beats CRUK’s idea of giving up what you enjoy and paying them to help you suffer. That’s a definite Puritan trait right there.
So, who is the good guy here? CRUK, or the whisky seller? You decide.
It’s a very nice whisky too, and not very expensive. Give it a go. You might donate the last few pennies that save that stranded mountain climber.
If you like to climb up mountains (I can see no reason for it beyond a rumour of free whisky at the top) then maybe this drunken bum will one day save your life.
You can thank me later in cash.