Leaves on the line

There is a push by Gubblement to give their friends in Big Tobacco a monopoly on possession of tobacco leaves. This is serious – our leaves are on the line here.

They aren’t going to make posession of tobacco illegal – no, that would mean the big tobacco companies couldn’t have it either. What they plan is much more devious. They plan to force anyone in possession of leaf to be registered, and to comply with all kinds of regulations.

This will not affect the big companies at all. They are already registered and already comply with all sorts of regulations.

It will destroy small leaf-sellers and before you antismoking types among the vapers smile too broadly – where do you think your e-juice is extracted from? Juice makers will all be taken over by Big Tobacco or they will die.

You cannot extract your own juice if you have to register and comply with all the regulations. You cannot even grow your own tobacco because you would then be in possession of leaf without a licence.

You cannot make your own snuff without registering and complying and if you want to make cigarettes you will have to register as a cigarette factory. With all the red tape that implies.

Oh, but if it’s for snuff and e-juice it’s okay. Nope. You still have to register and the onus is on you to prove you aren’t smoking it. Quite how you’d prove that is a mystery but it won’t be up to the taxman to prove your guilt. It’ll be up to you to prove your innocence.

If (when, really) this comes into force you might as well grow pot and start a meth lab. Tobacco possession will probably be a worse crime than either of them.

You can have a say on the public consultation now although I suspect the decision is already made.

I have just received a donation of leaves (many thanks) which I plan to vacuum-pack and freeze in small amounts. I’ll take some out at long intervals to see how it’s surviving. If it works I can stock up – but not in one big batch. That would draw too much attention. Any reputable leaf seller would question a big order anyway. It looks suspicious.

I’d order 1 kg and freeze half, then use the other half until it’s time to order another 1 kg. I’d be buying more frequently but still in small amounts.

As for the planting, that will continue after a ban. I’ll just plant them on the waste ground nearby. Then they aren’t in my possession and my attempts to produce a wild-growing variant will continue.

In the interests of keeping it cheap, I intend using sturdy zip-lock plastic bags instead of real vacuum bags – rolling out the air with a rolling pin should be enough. The plastic should be the thickest available so the leaves don’t freeze-dry in storage. Might be best to enclose the bags in a plastic container too. Poundland has all these things.

If the gubblement succeed in giving the monopoly to their pals, I’d have to stop buying leaf. I am not going to register and we will no longer be able to buy or sell without the mark of the Beast. We won’t be able to get it anyway – none of the small businesses selling leaf now could possibly afford to comply.

They hate smokers and they hate small businesses. Vote Tory? Fuck off. They are as bad as the others.