Sticks and stones

As children, we could brush away insults with a simple phrase. ‘Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never harm me’. It still works for me today. I cannot be offended by words unless I choose to be and I do not choose to be. Insult away – if you come up with a good one I’ll store it for future use myself.

My swipe card for clocking in at work wore out. Boss had a rummage in our Cupboard of Wonderful Things and found another. The old one said ‘Janitor’ but the only others she had said ‘Cleaner’. She hoped I wasn’t offended by this apparent demotion. I replied that as long as the pay’s the same, it can say ‘Mop-jockey’ for all I care. It’s just a bit of plastic.

Some years ago I recall reading about someone in a council office being berated for referring to a black telephone as ‘black’. Then there was the demise of the ‘blackboard’ and the entire world of blackness because it was racist. ‘You can’t say the word black’, shrieked the harpies. ‘It offends the wogs’.

No it didn’t. Of course it didn’t. Their skin colour is black. That’s the name of the colour. If, instead of ‘black’ we had called that colour ‘diddlyhooha’ then that word would have been banned, although the colour remains the same.

Incidentally, did you know that the word ‘diddlyhooha’ was banned in Connecticut in 1856? It referred to the act of inserting fifteen frozen peas into your rectum and then playing toilet bowl roulette. The art was in getting them to spin around the bowl rather than just scattergunning the water. It’s banned now so don’t do it.

Skin colour is of no relevance to me. I will like you or hate you depending on who you are, not on what you look like. And I do not care whether you call me white, spook or honky. I will answer to all of them. Earlier today I was distinctly grey with a green tinge tending to translucent as it was Burns’ night last night so the whisky was to excess. It’s only once a year. Well… maybe once or thrice.

The Righteous like to change the game to keep the drones on their toes so ‘Black’ is no longer a banned word. Instead, the word they insisted we use instead of ‘Black’ is now a banned word.

You cannot say ‘Coloured’. So, children, your colouring books are now blackening books. That makes it easy. You only need one crayon and don’t have to worry about the lines.

Someone who goes by the name of Bendit Cumblybumbly (his mother’s morning sickness was definitely a hangover) has apologised for using the word ‘coloured’ when talking about the lack of opportunites for black actors in the UK.

There he was, supporting the cause of his black friends who are trying to get work. He used one word and the offendotrons went into overdrive. ‘You cannot say that word we used to demand you say’.

Did he say ‘Oh grow the hell up’? No he didn’t. He spouted a snivelling apology for defending his black actor friends and using one – ONE – ‘wrong’ word.

What a sad and feeble world we live in now..

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54 thoughts on “Sticks and stones

  1. “Did he say ‘Oh grow the hell up’? No he didn’t. He spouted a snivelling apology…”

    Thereby ensuring they’ll do it again. And again, and again.

    Liked by 3 people

      • He’s up for an Oscar… can’t offend those Hollywood leftie luvvies now can he?

        Now then, does anyone know who thought up the term… People of Colour? Because my money is on a white liberal leftie. No actual Black person would come up with something so lame. I am a person of colour too, usually a blotchy pink except for a month or so in the summer, when I go a bit coffee coloured.

        I remember the sixties, with all those American Black athletes chanting … I’m Black and I’m proud! while giving the Black Power salute when they got to the winners podium at whatever Olympics it was. So are we not allowed to use the word Black anymore?

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  2. Oh dear oh dear oh dear…

    There I was thinking I had the allowable words – people of colour – and they go and change them again. Oh well…

    It’s all so confusing. We’ve become like those graphic equalisers that used to adorn the front of car or house hi-fis. You know. They had green and yellow and red lights and a sort of hilly graph screen which moved along with the music? We have different wee pretendy wee sliders that we move up and down so we say and do the right things. We are constantly trying to find that balance which will reflect who we are whilst also trying to not offend anyone or anything.

    Sticks and stones was the retort used in the playground. At times it was said but not necessarily in truth. Like all things there is a point of balance., but where did I leave it?

    Liked by 1 person

    • TT – I have the impression that ‘people of colour’ is still OK because it’s kinda, y’know, respectful but I could be wrong because I didn’t ever grasp what was wrong with’black’ when that was outlawed or, now ‘coloured’. I also heard some chav (oops – that’s probably banned as well) refer haughtily to himself and his ‘partner’ as ‘a heritage couple’ which made them sound like a breed of livestock 🙂

      I really am sick and tired of all and sundry getting all arsey about terms which are used without intending to give offence.

      Liked by 1 person

    • I’ve given up trying not to offend. It’s pointless. Those who aren’t bothered will not be offended, and those who are searching for something to be offended by will find it anyway.

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  3. I cannot be offended by words unless I choose to be and I do not choose to be. Insult away – if you come up with a good one I’ll store it for future use myself.

    Exactly what I was saying this afternoon [anachronism there]. Shall nick this.

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  4. I normally find “Go fuck yourself arsehole!” works quite well at getting a point over.

    Or “Geh’ fick dich Arschloch!” Depending what mood I am in.

    (But, be careful using it in Germany! You can get 3 to 5 years laydown for calling someone an “Arschloch,” and the same for telling them to “Fuck off!” In fact, even “flipping the finger.” (Beleidigung/Verleumidung it’s called.)

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    • Back in the Good Old Days you could, if you were a Brit, change your name by Deed and get a new passport issued solely in that new name- with no mention of any former name. I know this for a fact because I did…more than once. Before we returned to Germany to live last time, I gave serious consideration to deedpolling my surname to something like “lekkmishamaarsh”…a fine and noble Old English surname…Huguenot origin I believe…

      The thought of replying to every German Polizist’s and every German Beamte’s (civil servant) t mandatory question of “Wie heissen Sie?” (what is your name?) with “Lech mich am Arsch” (lick my butt) and there being nothing they could do about it appealed to my nasty little mind.

      Liked by 1 person

      • It appeals to me too.

        I used to know a Dr. Death (he actually spelled it ‘De’ath’ but I wouldn’t have) and that did have a great appeal for me.

        Unfortunately, the PhD applies to the name it was issued under so if I changed my surname, I couldn’t legitimately put ‘Dr’ in front of it. Catch-22.

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      • XX Back in the Good Old Days you could, if you were a Brit, change your name by Deed and get a new passport issued solely in that new name- with no mention of any former name.XX

        Deed poll!!?? TOTAL WASTE OF TIME AND MONEY!

        Go to a solicitor, or Notary public, get him to draft a Statutory declaration, under the Satatutaory declarations act 1835.

        It is MORE valid because it gives you a right NEVER to tell anyone what the former name was, and it must be declared on the passport form, whereas with Deed poll, a court can order you. With an S/D not.

        It will cost about 30 quid, and it is done signed, sealed, and completed in around an hour.

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  5. Legs, you’re probably ‘cleaner’ than the average janitor 😉

    Been-a-Dick Cumberland Sausage looks like my dad, when my dad was a live and much younger. I like him is as ‘Sherlock’ – he’s very entertaining – but FFS! But he’s up for an Oscar next month so … Pfff – that’s what happens when you worship golden idols.

    This is just like plain packaging – only concerned with the surface; shallow fucking politics.

    We should go Greek …

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  6. I have it on good authority (a ‘coloured’ child) that he is brown, not black and I am pink with orange hair. Holding up a piece of white paper towards me I had to concede the point. As a ‘white’ skinned ‘redhead’ who am I to argue. I’m just a half a Mivvy!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Award-winning Anti Smoking MP blames the closure on pubs on muslins (must be part of the template):

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2928065/Pubs-closing-traditional-working-class-areas-taken-Muslims-don-t-drink-claims-minister.html

    Here’s the BBC on his award from the WHO (I wonder if it’s golden …):

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-22785648

    Bristol West is considered a safe seat for the Lib Dems (even though it’s had MPs from 3 different parties in the last four general elections). However, the Greens see it as one of their target seats (one of their Banksys 😉 ) They could be right if he’s going full on ‘blame the brown face” to shore up his support.

    http://may2015.com/featured/bristol-west-painting-the-town-green/

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    • So they ban the pubs’ core customers and then blame pub closures on people who were never customers. Sounds about the level of logic of the typical antismoking crackpot.

      These days, I think the Lib Dems consider a seat ‘safe’ if they aren’t going to come last.

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  8. Incidentally, did you know that the word ‘diddlyhooha’ was banned in Connecticut in 1856? It referred to the act of inserting fifteen frozen peas into your rectum and then playing toilet bowl roulette. The art was in getting them to spin around the bowl rather than just scattergunning the water. It’s banned now so don’t do it.

    Good heavens, LI, I never knew that! And of course, knowing that you would never seek to deceive, I realise that it must be the truth.

    I would imagine that the peas would have had to be frozen and inserted outside in the depths of winter in those days (oooh matron!) and the operation performed very rapidly before they defrosted (outside dunny, perhaps?), or maybe more practically (if it wasn’t considered cheating), be sun dried, in which case you can take aim at your leisure. And of course that would also allow it to be a year-round pastime. My, those Conneticutians were an inventive bunch, and that’s a fact. Do you know if the use of KY jelly (or I guess it would have been vaseline in those days) was permitted? Or did the operation have to be performed ‘dry’?

    There is just so much to learn out there. Did you know, LI, that a slight whiff of tobacco smoke can kill you stone dead? Really! It’s true! I read it in the ‘Daily Mail’, and they said in the article that EXPERTS had said so! So it must be true! And just think, all these years I’ve unknowingly been dicing with death when I sat next to a smoker! I honestly don’t know how I’ve managed to survive for this long!

    God moves in mysterious ways…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Lubricant, or any other form of accelerant (such as beans) was considered cheating. It does require an outside toilet so even if it hadn’t been banned, it would have fallen out of favour by now. Mushy peas don’t work as well – or so I’m told. Pity really, it would have been an interesting Olympic event.

      When I think of all the gullible antismokers dead from hand-waving and fake-coughing, it gives me a warm glow 😉

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              • Never thought I’d be looking up a Captain Beefheart song (I do remember seeing them on ‘The Old Grey Whistle Test’ – the only time I ever watched that show) … I posted Captain Sensible elsewhere last night 😉

                PIE root of ‘captain’ is kaput- (“head”), which is funny as I also posted about ‘head’ elsewhere last night … Well, I’ll be damned 😉

                Just looking out of my office window now and Mr Blue Sky is making an appearance – I’ll share a little, c/o the Magic Roundabout:

                ‘Appy daze

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                • No sign of blue sky here. Snowed, melted, froze. It’s worse than having the snow. I’ll need the shoe spikes tomorrow.

                  I’m not going to hunt out The Damned – ‘Curtain Call’ is great but the full version takes a bit too much time for now!

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  9. They forgot that muslims are allowed to smoke. In fact one chap of the faith I used to work with (N/S) began the usual tedious theatrical coughing and hand waving when we were sitting in an agreeable outdoors venue with me sitting downwind from him. (Me having a pint and him his usual Coke) I told him to fuck off to the smoke-free bar inside if he was that petrified. Later I learned he attended indoor shisha bars. I was fucking livid and tore him off a few strips before he fucked off to another job. Happy days…

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  10. Dear Mr Leg-iron

    They are black and they always have been black … until a week next Tuesday when they may become coloured again, and then they will always have been.

    In the US they morphed into African-Americans, which means we are looking at African-British sometime in the future, though it doesn’t roll off the tongue so well.

    Those awfully nice people at “British anti-racism educational charity Show Racism the Red Card” ought to hand out lists of next week’s approved words so celebs don’t fall into pits, though I expect that they’d rather change the goalposts mid-sentence just catch them out. And if they are an ‘educational charity’ they really ought to learn to spell in English.

    http://nannyknowsbest.blogspot.co.uk/2015/01/advice-to-benedict-cumberbatch.html

    Mr Frost’s later post is worth a look too. Ah, nostalgia. It ain’t what it used to be.

    DP

    PS I saw a sign in a newsagent’s last Thursday – “If you look under 30 please don’t be offended if we ask for ID”. Sheeple.

    Like

    • I don’t recall ever being asked for ID. Not even when I was 14. I was born haggard.

      You’re right, they do like to change the accepted terminology without telling anyone. Gives them a chance to be outraged while their target goes ‘Huh?’

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  11. Honestly thought I was reading the Onion part of the way through this tripe

    http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/jan/27/benedict-cumberbatch-apology-coloured-people

    “Benedict Cumberbatch made quite the blunderdict cumbergaffe (NOT SORRY) over the weekend during an appearance on American author and activist Tavis Smiley’s eponymous TV talkshow, clumsily referring to people of colour as “coloured”.”

    Clumsy? That paragraph is fucking clumsy.

    Seriously, if those on the left ever grew a fuckin’ pair, perhaps we’d all be in trouble? 😉

    Like

    • I can still call myself ‘Janitor’ – heck, if I ever get stroppy, I could insist on being referred to as ‘Doctor’. That would confuse the hell out of a few of them.

      Like

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