Illegal to be fat…

Today, two of the larger women at work were discussing their diet plans in the staff room. They are in some kind of Fat Club (but get cross if they hear you calling it that – first rule of Fat Club is apparently that it’s not actually called Fat Club).

These are not obese women. A very skilled painter called Rubens would have been delighted to have them as models. They are curvy. They want to be less curvy, not because they are unhealthy (they are not) but because of Society’s demands that we all look like a vegan who doesn’t like vegetables.

I stayed very quiet because my current midriff diameter is much less than half of either of theirs and yesterday’s evening meal was based around 400g of lamb steaks fried in butter with onions, tomatoes, mushrooms and chilli – then fried bread to soak up the remaining butter. If they heard that, they’d snap me in half.

The lamb came about because I called in the Co-Op on the way home to plan a meal. I was actually planning on pepperoni pizza with added pepperoni, more cheese and chilli. They recognise me now because all that’s open when I stop work at 9 pm is the Co-Op or Tesco and to paraphrase Elvis Costello, ‘I don’t want to go to Tesco’.

Besides, the Co-Op is on the way home, Tesco isn’t.

Anyway, one of the staff was in the process of reducing stuff that was due to expire next day and asked me if I wanted one of the three 400g packs of lamb steaks she was reducing from £5 each to £1.25 each.

I bought all three packs. I have a freezer. There is now child-meat in my freezer.

Fried in butter, it was wonderful but the inmates of Fat Club would have been horrified. ‘How can you eat that and still be getting thinner?’ Easy. I don’t eat much else. Rarely eat chocolate, occasional biscuits or crisps, once in a while six bags of pork scratchings (they come in packs of six bags), now and then an entire large bag of salted peanuts and cashews (‘made for sharing’, ha ha ha) and I am working seven days a week at a physically active job. At the moment I could eat a pound of lard and not put on an ounce. It all just burns away.  I have had to make a new hole in my belt!

Area Manager is what I would call obese. She is verging on planetary. If you want to draw a perfect circle by hand, lay her on a sheet of paper and draw around her. And yet I do not condemn her choice to live that way. I am not even interested in her choice to live that way. I might make the occasional (or frequent) jibe but I don’t want to force her to live any other way and I would never support anyone else who tried to force lifestyle choices on her.

It’s her life, not mine. I am very busy trying to live my life. I have no time to concern myself with living anyone else’s. Heck, I don’t have time to do all the things I want to do so I certainly have no time to tell anyone else what to do. You lot can sort it out yourselves.

That sort of thing is the preserve of tax parasites whose only source of income depends on telling the idiots in charge to tell the rest of us how to live. The political world is more infested with parasitic groups than there are variants of parasites in real taxonomy.

The one currently using the tobacco template to control everyone’s life is the Anti-Chubby Brigade. They now want laws to stop us getting fat.

Based on?

Based on current trajectories, it forecasts that if the calorie content of packaged foods does not change over the next five years, the average global consumer will be buying 90 more calories a day in 2019 compared to 2014 – although removing an average of 100 calories a day from Western diets would be needed to halt the rise of obesity.

Based on made-up rubbish, just like everything else. I buy packaged foods often, also fish and chips or a curry on the way home because I finish work at 9 pm and often don’t feel like cooking anything. I am losing weight steadily. It’s not the food that makes people fat. It’s sitting in front of the TV watching programs about how fat everyone is getting that makes people fat.

Even so, if people are fine with being ‘overweight’, I see no problem. Perhaps the chubbies will eventually notice that ‘everyone really wants to weigh less than a photograph of themselves’ and the drinkers will notice that ‘everyone wants to be alcohol-free’ is exactly the same as ‘every smoker wants to quit’. In other words, made-up rubbish.

I have absolutely no interest in controlling anyone else’s life in any way unless they are directly and physically in my way. Even then, most times I can just go around.

If you want to control mine, give it your best shot.

You will fail.



38 thoughts on “Illegal to be fat…

  1. LI. One is a bit slat at and ready for bed, but is unable to resist.
    I am not sure. It seems that the Zealots have A PLAN, but that plan is ephemeral. It does not have FACTS at its base. That is illustrated by the propaganda conflation of ‘overweight’ and ‘obese’ (emotional propaganda). That deliberate conflation is a signal to anyone involved with regulation that the basic premises are wrong.


    • Even ‘overweight’ is a fabrication. People come in different sizes. Some years back I was the same weight as a friend who has been weight-training since school days. He looked like the Hulk. I looked like a plastic model of the Hulk that had been left in the sun too long.

      On BMI, we were both classed as overweight.


      • BMI is (as previously noted by you & many others) complete bollocks when taken in isolation – technically my BMI is bordering on “overweight”, and as you well know, that’s not something I could be described as.

        6 foot tall & 13 stone – probably perfectly healthy.
        5 foot tall & 13 stone – probably less so.

        Ultimately – other people’s dimensions are not my concern.


  2. Glad to hear you are buying Sell by Date food and chucking it in the freezer. I would starve without it. Today I bagged twelve chicken drum sticks for 2 Euros 50, 4 chicken breasts for 4 Euros, 4 slices of frying steak for 3 Euros and a pack of mixed, fresh vegetables for 1 Euro. That’s me fed for more than a week. I once found three packs of smoked salmon. That was expensive even at half price, but who cares.


    • All those dates have a good margin of error built in and for us oldies, we can stil work the ‘smell it, taste it’ game to see if it’s OK to eat.

      I think I’ll have another pack of lamb tomorrow. I do so enjoy eating infants, you know 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      • There have been a few times I have had to take meat off of people because they were about to cook rancid poison. I can smell bad meat in another room the second the pack is opened, yet most people seem completely oblivious to it. The last time I took bad meat back to a shop, the girl behind the counter smelled it and looked at me puzzled. ‘Smells fine to me’ she said. I told her that if that was the case, I didn’t want a refund and she could consider it a gift.


        • That’s the other side of expiry dates. If it’s ‘in date’ then it must be safe to eat – even when it’s clearly not! Sometimes packaging leaks and things go off before they are meant to. Especially meat – a highly variable product.


  3. “Rarely eat chocolate,”

    ::sigh:: and here I always thought I liked you Leggy.

    On the other hand, you’d make the ideal housemate…

    MJM, currently sitting here with four different varieties of chocolate to choose from on his computer desk. And believe me, I choose often. :>


  4. Chocolate… As a child of the 60’s sweets were pretty much up there. Mars Bars, Amazon Bars, Milky Bars, Five Boys, lucky potatoes, sweetie cigarettes, sweetie tobacco, lucky bags… Mmmmmm.

    When at secondary school, me and a mate used to go over to a general shop and every lunch for quite a while was a pint of milk, a Mars Bar and as many white chocolate drops as the change from what should have been my dinner money would allow.

    Mind you, seconds and thirds of syrup cake and custard ran a close second to or favourite lunch. Strangely we are both still alive. You spotted I am since I’ve been typing this. Neither of us is skeletal but we aren’t obese either. I only see him now at funerals.

    I told my son about the milk/Mars Bar/white chocolate drop lunches when he was 10 or so. He then told my Mother. She was pretty angry. You’re never too old to get a clip round the ear apparently. She couldn’t reach.

    We survived in the same way we survived playing out, playing at the big pond, playing chap door run, being hassled by bullies, eating two day old home made toffee which was fluffy and gritty from being in a coat pocket and the paper bag was fused to it etc. etc. etc.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I pretty much lived on sweets as a child too. They were probably more nutritious than the school dinners of the time.

      Remember the toffee that came in a slab with a little hammer to break it up? I used to have quite a few of those little hammers.


    • Yesterday for lunch, I decided it was time to straighten my life up a bit and make sure I expanded my food group selection.

      So I got out a nice big bowl, filled it with chocolate ice cream, poured some chocolate syrup on top of it, sprinkled two different varieties (Nestles and Kirkland Select) of semi-sweet chocolate bits on it, and topped it off with a chocolate truffle. With a glass of nice chocolate milk to wash it down.



  5. All these people telling me what to do, don’t smoke don’t drink don’t eat lard, don’t eat anything with sugar in but take all these chemicals we pump into you through the food chain swallow antibiotics and steroids and take statins as a matter of course because the Doctors get more funding if the fill us full of chemicals we don’t need.
    I have always been plump and I don’y mind and I don’t want to be a fecking stick insect thanks.
    These idiots and their bloody made up junk science, it’s amazing what morons can prove by tweaking lies to turn them into facts.
    I wish they would all fall into a big dark hole and leave me alone.


    • In the last week I have seen on TV, grown men demanding the banning of Calpol, Page 3 and e-cigs. It’s like these people have a hole inside them that must be filled with banning things, but no matter how much banned stuff they try to fill it with, the big hole of banishment can never be filled. What an empty sad place it must be to find one’s self sitting alone and feeling angry that a children’s medicine might be pleasant for children to take.


      • I don’t think those ‘grown men’ have grown up at all. They are still running scared of steam and embarrassed by newspaper boobs. ‘Don’t like it, Nanny. Make it go away’.

        They really deserve all the ridicule they get.


    • When they talk about “smokers’ demands, vapers’ demands, drinkers’ demands” etc, we really all only want one thing.

      We want to be left alone. That’s it. Our one and only ‘demand’ is that they stop demanding we do as they say.


  6. The average global consumer, huh? That’ll include those in places such as sub-Saharan African then where many are still poor and surviving on subsistence farming then. Heaven forfend that they should get richer and be able to eat more!


  7. ‘first rule of Fat Club is apparently that it’s not actually called Fat Club’. 😀 I must remember that for the next time my sister joins Weight Watchers … again.


  8. There’s the usual tedious post-Saturnalia / January blues “Fat club” at work now, loads of fine looking, normal sized women signed up for it, like they are gonna be Kate Moss looky-likeys come April.

    That’s called body dismorphic disorder (the doctors are are clever bunch of cunts, aren’t they)?

    Anyhow, they have a wee sticker board in a mostly deserted office where they can stick post-it notes like “get off one stop earlier at the bus stop and walk”, “use the stairs instead of the lifts” etc etc etc…

    Tommorow I will be posting a “Soylent Corporation” patch on their piss-poor little self-indulgent self-help shitboard, next week maybe a £10 baggie of H, just to help them along you know, in a philathropic way, if they feel that fucking bad about themselves.


      • That wouldn’t impress anyone Leggy, (“we are all in it together”) , to kill the hours whilst receiving some money.

        Shit! – I was holding a ladder for 45m last week, (all the guys meant to do this were working their arses off, short staffed, skeleton crew, elf and safety stuff) whilst an engineer tried to fix something, he asked me “I Suppose you’re fucking bored holding this ladder for me”?

        I said – “No – they pay me by the hour mate, not by what I’m actually doing, so you crack on dude…”

        I have actually disturbed people whilst they are asleep over a desk, mouse in one hand and a pen in the other.

        Like the old story an electrician told me, “Never be caught without a screwdriver in your hand”


First comments are moderated to keep the spambots out. Once your first comment is approved, you're in.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s