First half, now two-thirds, soon all?

It has long been a mantra of the Dreadful Arnott and her distorted minions that ‘half of all smokers will die from their habit’. The other half will die of being harrassed by antismokers and snubbed by the NHS. Dying of smoking actually sounds like the easier option here.

The antis have now upped the ante. Two-thirds of us will now die from smoking. Soon it will be all of us, as if it isn’t already. Die as a result of having a grand piano full of lead dropped on you from a skyscraper, and if you smoked, it’s a smoking related death. The antismokers are slowly raising the bar but the slapped quackside of the medical profession is way ahead of them. If you’re overweight, had a beer and a smoke, and fail to get out of the way of an out-of-control bus, your death will be smoking – alcohol – obesity – lack of exercise – related. You only had one life but you’ll have four deaths.

Nonsmokers will never die… oh really? The straight edge people will die just as surely as the smokers. Just… from something else. Maybe they think they’ll die of old age but nobody dies of that any more. Cause of death is never ‘just had enough of it’ these days.

Modern medicine seems baffled by death. Why do people persist in doing it despite the best efforts of medicine to keep their crumbling, wasted frames in zombie-like stasis for eternity? Why don’t people seem to want that?

Medicine used to be concerned with quality of life. Now all it cares about it quantity. You must not enjoy this or that because you’ll be alive for less time and then we can’t put you in a ‘care’ home and beat you and humiliate you and poke and prod at you to see how death can be thwarted. Why is it that so many people resist reaching those years of frailness and daily ritual humiliation? Don’t they know that we know best?

Get it into your heads. You are going to die. It might be anything from seconds to decades away but it is coming and there is nothing you can do about it. I might die before I finish this post or I might write a thousand more. I don’t know. So stop obsessing about it because you can only die once. This isn’t Playstation. You don’t get three lives, you get one ‘Game Over’ and that’s the end of the game.

It’s easy, too. You don’t even have to try. It just happens. It’s much, much harder to make it not happen.

You can choose to be ‘straight edge’ which I recently discovered means no smoking, no drinking, no drugs, etc. Well, if you enjoy life that way, go for it. It’s not for me. I don’t bother with the harder drugs – caffeine, alcohol and nicotine are all I need – but they are things I enjoy in life.

I know I’m not addicted to any of them. I spent many years decaffeinated and really didn’t notice all that much difference, but later I took a real liking for espresso. I still have alcohol-free days if I have to get up early for a morning shift because my current job (like pretty much all the others) is not one you’d want to do with a hangover. As for tobacco, I have no problem with travelling by train or plane without smoking, I’d just prefer not to. Sitting around doing nothing, feeling relaxed, is when I’d quite like to enjoy a smoke. That’s what killed pubs for me. The ‘relax’ and the ‘smoke’ are entirely separated now so all the fun’s gone out of it.

You anti-everythings can pretend I’m addicted to all of them if you like. I don’t care. You’ll end up just as dead as me in the end. A hundred years from now your cheeldren’s cheeeldren (assuming they’ll still teach reading in school) will look back on the Dark Archives on the Internet and think ‘yeah, he was a smoker and a drinker and he’s dead now. He could have been 155 in a month’s time if he’d been straight-edge like us’.

Oh they won’t live any longer than we will. They’ll just believe they will live forever. There are those who already do.

I don’t know Death personally. He’s a friend of a friend, but he cannot be outrun. He will get every one of us sooner or later, no matter how we live our lives. We might be lighting a cigarette from the candles on our 100th birthday cake or dead of a pure-life brain haemorrhage at 40 (I recall this happening to someone I knew, about 20 years ago). There is no way to know.

All I really have to say on the matter is that I have one life. One go at this game. I’ll play it my way and maybe I’ll get it right, maybe I’ll get it wrong. That’s my business. Your life is your business. I am not interested in controlling your life, I have enough to do trying to control mine.

Maybe the Puritans will be smug at my graveside one day. Maybe I’ll flick ash on theirs. There is no sure and certain way to predict it, either way. Statistics are meaningless here because statistics do not apply to chaos, which is what life is based on.

I wioll not live as directed by someone else. As Bill Hicks said, we get only one go on this ride. Enjoy it or don’t enjoy it, there is no second ticket. Do it the way you want to do it but remember that no matter what you enjoy, no matter what you deny yourself…

…this ride will end.

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23 thoughts on “First half, now two-thirds, soon all?

  1. On Friday my aunt, who has smoked since she was 10 celebrates her 90th birthday, her sister, my mum, a never smoker, never drinker swimming teacher suffered strokes in her late 60s and died at 72. As you said there is no way of knowing when, just the certainty it will happen one day, I will always live my life the way I want to and refuse to be bullied into conforming to the antis warped ideas. I wish a very long decrepit life on them all, after all they can’t die, they don’t smoke.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Let them become victims of the ‘care’ homes. Being a smoker, they wouldn’t let me in anyway and I thank God for that!

      My life might turn out shorter than it could have been but it’s been a hell of a ride so far!

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  2. Amazing. I can remember when it was 1 out every four, and then one out three, then two out of five. I didn’t even notice they’d gone to one out of two and now they’re up to two out of three? They’re spiralling! Someone get them their meds, Stat!

    – MJM

    Liked by 2 people

    • Oh yeah, I can’t wait. The fact that the study has something to do with the “Home of Nanny” (i.e. Australia) makes me think it must be nonsense, especially as the report also praises the recent anti measures they have taken down there. Still, I look forward to VGIF destroying its methodology.

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  3. Two thirds of smokers will die from the habit

    Presumably this means that three quarters of all possible deaths have now been “linked” to smoking, that’s a heck of a lot of anti-smoking studies and must have cost someone a great deal of money.

    Personally I welcome the claim, that means I have even less chance of dying from things like accidents, contageous diseases , electricution and drowning.

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  4. It is only because certain Dr’s get paid to put “tobacco smoker’ as a non contributory cause of death that the figures have gone up. Even in death they get you .

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  5. thr lady I share my life with came home from her hour inside the state machine as a playground supervisor with a smoking tale from the nazis and collaborators in ‘educashun’. The year sixes and year fives came out crying into the playground, not all of them but a significant number. She asked a few why and it turns out they had come straight from an no smoking lesson in which there were shown videos, animations and handed A4 pictures of the “damage smoking does to teenagers” which they were told to hold close so they could really see the damage close up.

    Naturally these kids had relatives who smoked, many had parents who smoked and all they could see was their parents and family dying horrible deaths at the hand of the ciggies.

    Result in their perverted world.

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  6. Yes. Amazing how all these ‘healthy’ people who don’t drink or smoke still die ‘untimely deaths’ from strokes, heart disease and cancers isn’t it? Must be all that second and third hand tobacco smoke they might have caught a whiff of ten, fifteen years ago, whenever.

    All those deadly poisons seeping through their walls and windows, a constant drip, drip drip of scorpion venom on the skin from everything they touch, everything they do. From smokers leftovers to the aftermath of 60’s test fallout and radiation leaks, cell phone, wi-fi signals, power transmission lines, traffic fumes, photocopier toner and BO. The poor dears must be dropping from the sheer terror of it all.

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  7. Medicine used to be concerned with quality of life. Now all it cares about it quantity.

    Or as Oscar Wilde once wrote, they know the cost of everything and the value of nothing. And as you point out, LI, they will die just as surely as the rest of us. It would be nice to think, though, that all these anti-smoking zealots WILL live a long life, and have the ultimate pleasure of some hatchet-faced harridan spoon feeding them and wiping their arses – when she can be bothered, and in between chemically coshing them. I think that’s called ‘poetic justice’, is it not?

    I’m 65 now, and I’ve smoked for 50+ years. It doesn’t surprise me that smoking seems to have had no real adverse effects on my health; in fact smoking pales into insignificance when I think of the various forms of ‘substance abuse’ I have subjected my body to over the decades. But then, I was told that all that would kill me too, 100% guaranteed. And I’m still here, sound of body and mind (although I realise that’s a subjective opinion…) and fitter and healthier than a lot of non-smokers twenty years my junior.

    At the final reckoning, it’s the luck of the draw. It really makes no difference if you smoke or drink. When the four horsemen start rattling round your courtyard, it’s adios amigos, regardless of how much of a (miserable) goody two-shoes you’ve been.

    As the Who memorably sang: “I hope I die before I get old”. And ‘old’ is a state of mind as much as the number of years.

    I’ve been in Patras (one of the bigger cities in Greece) for a few days for business reasons, and as I’m staying in a hotel, I’ve been out and about to quite a few bars and restaurants here. I haven’t yet found one that doesn’t have ashtrays on the table / bar. Also, rather amusingly, as I was sitting here at the laptop about half an hour ago, my wife turned on the TV and tuned in to a local channel which was doing a thing on the local carnivals (last week was carnival week throughout Greece). There was footage of the Carnival Queen on her float, resplendent in her finery and gilt crown, flanked by two ‘Spartans’ holding what looked to be a cross between a Roman Candle and a Mortar, spewing fire and brimstone over any of the crowd that wasn’t fleet of foot enough to avoid it. I chuckled, thinking about the hysterics that the ‘elf’n’safety’ mob would be having in the UK! Heh! But better was to come! The camera pulled back to show the ‘Spartan’ leader of the procession, and he was swaggering along in front of the tractor-drawn float, bottle of beer in one hand and a ciggy in the other, both of which he was availing himself as he walked. And the commentator just wittered on about the parade and the camera stayed on the lead ‘Spartan’ while he finished his beer and handed the empty to a bystander, and then paused to light another ciggy. All so very natural and normal, but something you would never be allowed to witness on TV in the UK, local or not. In fact in the UK it probably would have been mandated as an ‘alcohol-free’ non-smoking parade. And even sparklers would probably be banned.

    What a sorry state the UK has become.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes, Carnevale Mese here in Italy. A couple of weeks ago I was at the one in Viareggio, on the Tuscan coast. Truly splendid. Milady and I both reflected that in Britain, ElfanSafety would have closed it down.

      The Tube has it. There is an enormous FU to Frau M, and readers will recognise the gentlemen warming their hands on a burning world. Our host may enjoy what happens to one of the dancing girls:

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      • I forgot to add that in front of the Heffalump, a lot of the marchers are in blackface, sufficient to give seizures to the UK politically correct; while up on the float there were real Africans giving it Laldy on the bongos.

        And don’t miss La Signorina Italia performing the world’s most spectacular Rhumba.

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      • It popped up an ad – ‘Learn to speak English’. Written entirely in English. Someone wasted their advertising budget.

        The huge Death puppet was indeed impressive – but was that Angela Merkel in the ill-fitting corset?

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        • Sorry for the late reply – a deadline to meet – but yes, that was Mutti Merkel.

          The day before, I visited the hangars where the floats are built. They are huge, up to seventy feet high, and saw the floats half-assembled. The large woman, headless at the time, puzzled me.

          On the day, a crowd of people appeared with white suits with Euro symbols on them. I thought it was a crass celebration of this dreadful currency. However when the display got under way, it became clear that the big wumman was Geli; the Euros were sperm, Angela for the fertilising of; and various European leaders in romper suits were her babies. Splendidly insulting to all concerned.

          I will record that at the restaurant attached to the Hangars (this is Italy of course) I sat next to one of the most gloriously beautiful girls I have met in my life. She was one of the hosts of the revels, and superb in silk.

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