Time for a quickie

Get your minds out of the gutter right now. A quick post because I have to be up early tomorrow. Boss phoned as I was ready to leave tonight and let me have today off as long as I cover the morning shifts this week.

I said ‘I’m easy’.

I didn’t like the tone when she replied ‘So I hear’… but I’m not so easy now 😉

This year I’ll have to leave that job. Resign properly this time. Probably be leaving the country. The blog will continue, just from somewhere else. With, perhaps, another equally wild blogger to keep things moving. Life can get pretty strange, but I like it that way. Ordinary is really quite dull. Not that I have much experience of ordinary.

I like the job. It’s an easy job and I get to wind up some spectacularly gullible people. Not Target though. He’s too smart to fall for my stories although he did react with shock when I split the apple. All scientists can do that, I’m sure. Just needs strong and agile fingers to split an apple into two neat halves. It doesn’t shock Boss any more. She just closes her eyes and shakes her head. She must like doing that because she does it often.

Target was smart enough to not mention Poppy when I left Boss a note last week. I was honestly expecting a text saying ‘You are not to run off to another country!’ but it didn’t happen. Good old Target. He’s almost up to my standards already. Just needs to learn a few things – such as how to get Cafe Girl to shout and how to get Gullible Girl to say his name through clenched teeth. Also, how to make Boss end every conversation with ‘For fuck’s sake’. Or her best one – ‘Wait. What am I hearing?’ It was when I told her about little chairs foir knitted rats  from Thailand. Nothing unusual, really.

Target will be a good replacement. His involvement with Cafe Girl means he’s not likely to leave any time soon. I won’t be leaving Boss with a duff crew. I owe her that much at least.

I have to earn more than this job pays now. It covered the bills and had enough left over for enough whisky to keep the ghosts out but times have changed. One day I’ll make enough from writing but that’s too uncertain a future. Maybe I should get back to pig research, in a land where bacon is a big thing. Maybe I’ll get free bacon as a perk. Oh, I could go for that!

So anyway, I had a look at the Daily Scare where every story beats my maddest imaginings. In there was a Labour waster called Tristram the total and utter Hunt. A working class name? Hardly. The photo suggests he is a man who should learn to use a damn comb. I’m just a janitor now but I would never turn up for work looking like Worzel Gummidge. What a scruffbag. You lot really voted for this shabby little weasel? Really?

His idea is that the Leftie idiots in charge of ‘education, indoctrination’ should be allowed to check up on themselves. So your children will be utterly protected fom the ravages of intelligence for all time. Nobody will be looking at what they learn. Isn’t that good?

Doesn’t bother me. I have limited time left even though it’s less limited now.

But if you have children at school and you want them to grow up in a better world, don’t vote Labour.

Unless, of course, you really hate your children.


20 thoughts on “Time for a quickie

  1. Pork’s dead cheap here. But they ain’t so hot on Bacon. You have to improvise. Just learn The French for, “Can you cut the Belly Pork extra thin, s’il vous plait?” They do salt and smoke it, so it’s much the same.


  2. Nah.
    I reckon it’s the Netherlands or Denmark, or somewhere that involves waving at ‘Nothing 2 Declare’ while passing through.
    I will miss the “Local Shop” stories, though, I’ve enjoyed those.
    Still think it’s lovely news though Leggie. All power to your elbow and other bits.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Both saddened and glad for you Leggie.
    I think the “Local Shop” stories are worthy of a book in themselves.
    Good luck & May the God of Bacon Sarnies look upon you with favour where ever you end up.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. “This year I’ll have to leave that job. Resign properly this time. Probably be leaving the country.”

    Won’t work Leg. When you weren’t looking they implanted a microtransponder under your skin. You can run… but you can’t hide.

    – MJM


    • Yeah, but draconian anti-smoking laws and Prayut wanting to stay in power forever. Mind you, that said, I’ll probably be moving there in a year or two.


  5. Ooh, which country? You’ll have to write about it, even if you only give clues, as I’m not the only one intrigued. My guess is Italy, but anywhere warmer than Aberdeen would surely be an improvement? 😉


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