A dysfunctional election

I have tried, I really have tried to ignore the outpourings of pomposity and fabrications from the current band of sad little losers who claim the right to tell us how to live.

I stayed away from the newspapers and never watch TV anyway. But then bits of paper come through the door, covered in obvious lies and promises nobody in their right mind could believe. With smug little faces attached, showing the sort of smile I’d happily extract every tooth from using only pliers and a sharpened spoon handle. One. By. One.

Then I’d put them all back in using a staple gun (Aldi have an electric staple gun on sale but in a rare flash of common sense I didn’t buy one. I bought the 135W combi tool instead). I’d put those teeth back in the wrong order too.

Let’s see them look smug with a smile from the very backwaters of ‘Deliverance’.

Every hour, like some demented sentinel of doom, the radio at work has news about the latest idiotic babblings of the mindless oafs who someone, somehow, thought were the ideal people to run their lives for them. Not the country. They don’t run the country any more. They just run the lives of the idiots who voted for them and if that was all they did it would be fine.

But no. They run the lives of those of us who didn’t vote for them too. That’s just wrong. Voting should be like a contract in which you agree to have your life controlled by an imbecile. No vote, no contract, no control. I think that would be a much better way to run things. If it was done that way, I bet nobody would vote Green twice.

The BBC give the Greens more airtime than that bunch of mediaeval communist tyrants warrant. Anyone would think they were serious contenders for government. People actually vote for them. Why? What kind of thought process goes into putting a X in that box? Vote for them and you’ll live in a mud hut and tug your forelock at your Green masters as they pass in their solar powered Rolls Royces. People want that? Only the sort of trendy cretins who name their daughters Cystitis and Enema and parade them around in unisex onesies.

All this talk on the radio about “How will they afford tax cuts and all these projects? Where is the money coming from?” Nobody has thought to suggest actually not spending quite so much on nonsense and nannying. The wasted money going through this country’s government is staggering and all they can think to say is “We’ll tax the rich harder until they say ‘screw this’ and leave, then we’ll tax the poor harder so they can’t afford the things we don’t want to let them have”.

That’s not what they say. They’ll never say that. Not unless you inject them with a truth drug. Which should be compulsory every time they give any kind of interview.

Well, it’s unavoidable. I am going to be enraged by the coming election. There is no escape.

Expect more on this distateful subject in the future. I’m off to write a truly horrible short story to get this sneer off my face.

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44 thoughts on “A dysfunctional election

  1. The only major hassle I have subjected myself to is the two-hour “Leaders’ Debate”. Puppet leaders, that is. As Nigel Farage said in his opening statement, his is the only party that is any different from all the others (or words to that effect).

    And they are projected to get between 2 – 6 seats. No; the people are stuck in the old Lib/Lab/Con/SNP/PC/Green one party state with its smotheringly gargantuan State paid for by the impoverished masses and a few rich folk, who could relocate should they not want any more of their dosh stolen – maybe move to a country that doesn’t threaten its successful citizens with a “mansion tax” when they are already handing over 45% of their salary.

    Nope. I’m afraid people just like to pay £9 for a packet of cigarettes worth £2 and not be allowed to smoke them in civilised surroundings outside of one’s home.

    They like their children to leave school more infantile than they were when they went in.

    They like to see money pouring out this country to the EU (etc., etc.), foreign despots (trade not aid!), illicit wars, while they wonder how they’re going to pay off their credit cards.

    They like having every freedom taken from them.

    They love our death trap NHS with its GPs who give you ten minutes of their valuable time (if they can get an appointment).

    They love being afraid of “climate change” and feel great about turning off their lights for one hour every year, which actually adds to pollution due to the effect on power stations, but they think they’re saving the Maldives.

    Don’t get me started.

    Mmmm. Too late.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. For God’s sake, don’t give me a hard time. I really can’t cope with this. I am an utterly useless article and I only want to hear about other people who are doing much better than I am. Or preferably not.

    Sorry. Too much whisky, or something.

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  3. I particularly like the Green woman saying that she’d employ an extra 1 Million people to work in councils. How many working people paying tax etc. would it take to employ these additional people? How many more people would be needed to pay tax to cover the gold standard pensions that the extra 1 Million will have to get?

    Brighton has been a disaster since the greens took over. Will the greens manage to hold onto it?

    We also have to bear in mind that the contents of the various manifestos aren’t mandatory. So the politicians can just do what they want. The mother of democracy? Right……

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  4. Found this on Breitbart-London yesterday

    Three weeks from the election, our two-faced political leaders are treating voters with contempt

    Worse still, while attacking the Labour Party for fiscal recklessness and unfunded spending pledges, this new NHS commitment made by Osborne is completely unfunded. Over the last 48 hours Tory MPs have gone on the airwaves stonewalling questions about how they are going to fund big election handouts. After everything they have told us about how Labour can’t be trusted with the economy, how dare they?
    When the main two parties treat voters so appallingly, flagrantly lying to their faces, telling one half of the country one thing and the rest another, it is no wonder no party is close to winning a majority. We live in an age where parties devoid of principle tell people what they think they want to hear and hope they will get away with it. The problem for them is they won’t get away with it. The mess that follows whoever ends up in Number 10 after May 7th is no less than these sorry parties deserve.

    I’m hoping that the 30% that don’t vote, decide to go send a message and vote for the best fcuk-you party available. For me that’s UKIP. I’m not sure I want them in power necessarily, but the expression on the last liblabcon canvasser to knock on my door when I mentioned UKIP? delicious.

    The trouble with elections is that some politician always gets in.

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  5. Well solved the paper politicking with the simple expedient of making the letterbox functional. Instead of it giving ready access to whatever wants to deliver paper to the doormat it is now sealed immediately after the postie calls and unsealed an hour or two prior. On sundays, me being a holy man, I give the letterbox the day off and keep it sealed so it can go off to its church and compare clothing it is so minded…

    This also keeps screwfix away, takeaways away, green deal cretins away, the odd bailiff away, the local ‘free rags’ away in fact any source of junk mail away other than the junk the postie is contracted to deliver…not being on the electoral roll helps as well. Life doesn’t have to be taxing.

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  6. OMG you got it spot on. I am utterly disgusted by the nonsense I’m seeing and hearing. A Kipper gets reported to the cops for providing sausage rolls as hospitality and is accused of treating and the Conservatives offer a bribe to all those in social housing about being able to buy them with a 70% discount. Good luck with that in London, you Tory morons (they get away with it as it’s a post election bribe). Where will these poor folk in Londonistan get the 400K quid they need to complete the deal? If the lips are moving, these bassids are lying. I’m also rather bored with these pols playing verbal poker and raising each other every day. It’s our damn money they are playing with and I know I will spend my money more carefully than any politician. That’s my money, you thieving bastards, not yours and I should be allowed to see it and touch it before you get hold of any of it. Well I do because I’m self employed but that’s the exception to PAYE. We need 640 damn spikes and to draft in an ISIS decapitation squad to rid us of these idiots that seek to control every minute aspect of our lives!

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  7. I can imagine that the worst thing for our arrogant, up-their-own-arses politicians is to be laughed at. I wonder if they realize what figures of fun they cut as they earnestly spout their lies and smear their opponents as if they’re people of stature, to be taken seriously. They’re not even clever about it – even I’d ripped apart Cameron’s right to buy scheme within seconds of hearing it and the Moribund’s expression as he stared straight into camera during The Leaders’ [snort] Debate – apparently trying to hypnotize us into believing him – was a sight to behold.

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  8. Pingback: No Small Beer | Real Street

  9. But no. They run the lives of those of us who didn’t vote for them too.

    Isn’t there a mistake in there, Leggy? Shouldn’t that read ” … they RUIN the lives of …” ?? 🙂

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  10. I really want to hurt the Conservatives. Despite supposedly being the party against mindless new legislation, and for people who want to do well, they have done the exact opposite.

    In a marginal Tory seat, though, I have to weigh up whether to reward my MP, who wrote to me three years ago that she was against plain packs and then voted against them, or vote UKIP, which will make a Pakistani the MP. I am therefore voting for my MP and not the party, although there is a tactical edge to it.

    Entopy asked back in January how to eradicate nicotine stains from fingers (and presumably fingernails). Here’s how:
    Obtain a small, narrow glass
    Fill it to an appropriate level with hydrogen peroxide. I use 9%, adjust your timings with weaker solutions.
    Obtain a white facecloth or hand towel and a tub of aqueous cream or E45
    Dip the affected fingers into the glass and immerse them for 90 seconds. When you remove them, they will be quite white. Rub them vigorously with the towel, anoint with cream and rub with the towel again.
    Repeat the process whilst watching something on your PC – avoid porn! until you are satisfied with the results
    Leave a final, heavy coat of cream when you are done.
    I suppose if you had clearly delimited areas of staining, you could paint the H2O2 on with an artist’s brush.
    Mrs20, I well-known antismoker and shrew, having told me how gross my fag stains were, has asked me where they have gone.

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    • I know my one vote won’t make a difference to the result, so I vote for whom I want. I stopped believing in tactical voting ages ago. We have a great Tory MSP here who gave me a lot of help two years ago, but I couldn’t vote for someone who represents that shower!

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    • Thank you sir.

      I am still a regular follower of Legiron’s pooliverse here and also read all the replies and responses from the diverse audience. I occasionally swim into the Legiron pool by contributing one or two fishy or fishing comments, my nicotine problem was a said subject past comment.

      So just to say thank you, Twenty_Rothmans, for your valid tip about removing nicotine stains from my nails and fingers. I shall certainly give it a go as soon as I have purchased a bottle of max strength available hydrogen peroxide. I am hoping the PC retards haven’t banned the sale of the stuff yet (i.e. I might be a bomb making terrorist). I shall start at my local chemist shops.

      Whilst I’m here I might as well throw my own fish food comments about what is currently being discussed here – i.e the elections.

      In my opinion so ingrained is the perception – deception mainstream media manipulation of the masses I can predict with certainty we will continue to be ruled and controlled by either a Labour or Conservative government. Should either not have a majority, believe me it has already been decided by the plutocrats that rule us all who will go into coalition with the Labs or Cons. Any resultant 2 or 3 weeks infighting to form said coalition with the minor minions will be a charade masquerading as working democracy. It’s already been decided.

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  11. “I don’t vote.
    Two reasons. First of all it’s meaningless; this country was bought and sold a long time ago. The shit they shovel around every 4 years doesn’t mean a fucking thing.
    Secondly, I believe if you vote, you have no right to complain.
    People like to twist that around – they say, ‘If you don’t vote, you have no right to complain’, but where’s the logic in that?
    If you vote and you elect dishonest, incompetent people into office who screw everything up, you are responsible for what they have done. You caused the problem; you voted them in; you have no right to complain.
    I, on the other hand, who did not vote, who in fact did not even leave the house on election day, am in no way responsible for what these people have done and have every right to complain about the mess you created that I had nothing to do with.

    love George

    print it out and stick it in the window…

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    • That’s how I felt my whole life until two weeks ago when I registered to vote for the first time. Now I feel if I don’t vote UKIP and the Labour twat gets back in, this time I will be partially responsible.

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  12. I’m finding it all very amusing in a masochistic kinda way. And what’s CW on – at last night’s debacle the force of her hot wind nearly blew the Moribund off the stage – he had to keep hanging on to his podium. Christ, she really is a right wee neb.

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  13. very suspicious that the PTB on all sides are so adamant that we “register” to participate…since when did they care so much for our opinion?..to my mind the consent that is implied by signing up…and the “compliance” given to their authority is what they want.i have heard that a lot of patriotic Scots who removed themselves from the list to avoid the poll tax are now being pursued…because they registered to vote in the independence sham…I do not consent or comly with this mirage of democratic choice…maybe I will become a Non person come May 9th?

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  14. Great read! Your blog is really interesting. I thought you might like the filmed programme- ‘QuestionDine 2015: Election Candidates with chips’.

    In the short video, prospective parliamentary candidates sit down for supper with young volunteers to discuss the big political ideas .From immigration, economic growth and the EU to free speech, humanitarian intervention and building homes ourselves; they put cracking questions to candidates. But, do they get answers they are looking for? You decide.

    You can watch the short video here: http://www.worldbytes.org/questiondine-2015-election-candidates-with-chips/

    We would be delighted to get your feedback/comments on the video and would very grateful if you would embed the video and share this programme with your friends and networks who may be interested.

    Thank you.

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    • I have just wasted 10 minutes of my life checking out your website.
      You’re just another mainstream politico media platform spouting repeat drivel we have all heard before. In other words typical sheeple unaware and ignorant of the real Bigger Picture. You are all libtards (retarded liberals).

      Underdogs bite upwards is an alternative media blogsite for intelligent people who follow and create non PC nonsense alternative media information of real truth.

      Stop advertising your status quo mainstream political lies and crap on this blogsite.

      Fuck off.

      Like

  15. Pingback: The polls, Esmerelda, the polls | Spawny's Space

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