Writing night

Writing has been slow for over two years because of a reason. There have been sporadic bursts of activity but mostly it’s been slow going.

The new and recent shift regime at work didn’t help. Fewer days but longer shifts and all shifts working solo. Left me pretty knackered. I’m adapting to them now, just in time for them to all change next week when Boss takes a holiday.

Can’t complain, after all the support she’s shown, especially recently when I told her some of my past and future and how it might affect work. I’ll grin and bear it. Soon be over.

Not much pranking at work recently. I haven’t seen Gullible Girl since I gave her a bacon-flavoured cigarette and Cafe Girl is on compassionate leave from my cruel jibes because Target dumped her. By text. The weak, cowardly bastard.

Big Nads told me about it before she caught me and Obelix in a deep discussion about whether her backside might one day collapse into a black hole with a Y-front Horizon from which there would be no escape.

Hey, surely theoretical physics is safe from womanly fury? It seems not. That Hawking guy had better watch what he says.

Even Obelix and The Misery (who used to be Mopman when he worked for us) have been scarce. I see much more of Piercings lately and he’s so mellow I don’t think it’s even possible to rile him. It all just goes right over his head.

I am still waiting for the baker’s photo of rats in little chairs. You’ll all see it the day I get it. I could try getting her to email it to me – I have some disposable accounts for work use. Apparently the rats live in a doll’s house. I wish I’d known that from the outset. If I’d had photos I’d have made the chairs in keeping with the decor. Apparently though, I did that anyway, entirely by accident.

Tonight I am staying off Twitter and ignoring emails and generally being my normal miserable reclusive self. Guess how many non-immediate-family visitors have set foot in my house so far this year? If you guessed a number above zero, you’d be wrong. Guess how many people have seen my heavy hat in real life? It’s the same number .

Enough babble. I have writing to do. I have been inspired tonight by a flamingo called Dave.

No, I am not drunk and I have not been smoking any tobacco alternatives. Dave the flamingo is a real thing. I could explain but…

…not even a writer could  make this one believable.

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