Now those of you who know me well will know about my mental list called Psycho animals. Now this is a list of animals that I find way scary or downright shifty. I’ve had eye rolls and mumblings about being over dramatic but I keep strong in my knowledge that I am right. Now what is on the list I hear you say. Well let me tell you.
I have been terrified of horses since I was a small one. I amazingly made it through a year or two of riding lessons. Which ended when I once on a riding camp burst into tears on top of a big pony.
(Smaller ponies are okay since you can dropkick them in case they try something.)
Now do I have to say much about this one? They can break a grown man’s arm. And don’t come saying it’s all a myth. You try getting hissed at by one of those huge birds. And I mean look at their teeth!
Everyone who has seen Monty Python knows that bunnies are crazy man eating, killer animals.
Now squirrels and I have a rather strained relationship since one day I was out walking alone, I pass some pine tree see a cute looking squirrel so I stopped up to have a look. What does the little guy do? It hisses at me with a deranged look in its eyes. I was sure it would jump me and go straight for the aorta. So I got the hell away. So when I saw about these two cases concerning squirrels my first thought was “What did I say!”. ‘Drunk’ squirrel causes hundreds of pounds of damage and German squirrel arrested after woman complained it was stalking her . An English squirrel turned on beer taps and opened bags of crisps. Later an aggressive German squirrel was arrested after stalking a woman. I wonder if the German police man had to read the squirrel its rights and put it in tiny handcuffs. If a squirrel Armageddon starts I’ll use a few seconds on looking smug then run for my life. Just saying,
Now a new comer to the list is seagulls. My dad having worked on oil rigs always told us they were huge annoying birds but it wasn’t until I saw this today (hat tip to @AmbushPredator) Cornwall family’s pet tortoise ‘killed by seagulls’ that seagulls made it to my list. Although I’m not sure what’s most shifty, a tortoise named Stig or the seagulls killing it.