Rab the Haggis – a review

I doubt anyone has noticed my recent absence, and anyone who has probably thinks CynaraeStMary has me chopped up and frozen somewhere. Not so, I am alive and active and sorting the valuable from the worthless in my vast collection of stuff.

Quite a lot will be simply abandoned. I could just dump it all but thought I might as well turn some of it back into cash. There are likely to be expenses incurred in the near future but that’s all under way and going well so far.

That’s enough babble from me. I know you’ve been getting used to the rather more concise and focused posts of CynaraeStMary lately and I don’t want to bamboozle you all with irrelevant asides and random digressions just yet. Therefore, taking inspiration from my co-blogger (I have a co-blogger! Reclusive me!) I will get to the point.

Uncle Marvo used to be a frequent commenter here but I haven’t heard much of him lately. That is, until CynaraeStMary and I were discussing writing and she mentioned she’d had a copy of a little book he wrote some time ago.

It’s called Rab the Haggis. Only available as an eBook, it’s not long enough for print yet.

So I wandered over to Amazon, waved my shiny Kindle at it and bought a copy.

I know Uncle Marvo thinks it’s shite, and I know he thinks I’m only mentioning it because I was told to, but he’s wrong on both counts. Does anyone really imagine that some slip of a girl, even a Viking one with an army of remote controlled killer penguins, is ever going to succeed in telling me what to do? No, this was my idea.

The story is a short one, but there is a sequel – and I now know Marvo has made progress on more. All together there’d be enough for a print book, with illustrations by the author. Yes, he can do illustrations too. I am consumed with envy.

It could also benefit from a little editing although it’s clearly been well proofread because I didn’t spot a single typo. Impressive for a tale told largely in Scots vernacular which contains words for which even the Scots have never really defined spellings.

This first short story tells of Rab, a wild haggis. We join the story when he has just spotted a spoot, a strange little creature that happens to be the favourite food of the haggis.

The spoot persuades Rab not to eat him. From here I can’t say too much in detail or I’ll spoil the story but suffice to say that Rab offers to die to help the spoot, while the spoot finds a way to prevent Rab’s death using a tesseract.

Okay. I know at least two of you think a tesseract is some kind of kinky sex device and that this is going to be some Fifty Shades of Tartan style filthy depraved romp. Stop salivating, it’s not. It’s child-friendly good clean fun.

The story includes a bit of multidimensional physics as well as magic, humour and quaint Scottish wildlife. It’s a little bit educational that way.

Marvo insists the work is a load of shite and should be ignored. I disagree (no Marvo, she didn’t tell me to say that either) and I think it could work as it is – the short stories individually on eBook and the collected stories in one print book.

Marvo, if you’re passing and you want someone to look over and edit the stories, and show you how to be in print for free, drop me a line.

I won’t be able to do it in a hurry because of things that are happening now, but if you can be persuaded to write a few more of these little stories, I’ll be glad to help out.


Now I return to the bizarre world of eBay and the strange complexities of the British postal system. It’s quite a labyrinth in there. If you want to examine my progress I am ‘Gutbugs’ on eBay.

Tomorrow you get the sensible one back. She has regular features and logical, non-rambling posts. It’s about time this place had a bit of balance.


13 thoughts on “Rab the Haggis – a review

  1. I know it wasn’t aimed at me Leggy, although I think it probably was, but I know what a tesseract is.

    No, Clicky, that’s The Avengers. FFS! please don’t make me look stupid.

    Okay, rub it in. 14 years old..?

    I’ll get my card…


  2. This belongs with Cynarae’s post from yesterday. I’m afraid I’m a little late to the record party:

    How’s about a little homegrown musica – let’s call it instrumental karaoke (guitar).

    This song’s for you and Leggy.

    With an el cheapo microphone (the kind that came with your old dual cassette stereo unit) plugged into the back of your computer and an app like Audacity you can karaoke over Christine McVie’s vocal (you’ll notice I turned her down) and viola! — Got a Hold on Me – gi-tar redux.


    PS. You’ve gotta’ click on the little > for it to play.

    PS II. I’m one of Uncle Marvo’s biggest fans, he’s ever so politely brash.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Did you examine the Amazon reviews? Eight people gave it 5 stars and one person gave it one star, saying,

    “Looking for something to amuse a grand child, I came across this book. Sounded just what I wanted, but the story is drivel and unsuitable for children.
    Needless to say, I will not be considering the other title.”

    There is one comment:

    “Uncle Marvo says:
    I can’t argue with that, and I wrote it.”

    I had to laugh, while admiring his apparently incredible modesty.

    Liked by 2 people

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