Damn that television

I know, some of you think I died or ran away to an internet-free zone or something. I’m fine. Working a seven day week while dealing with the complexities of moving house and other stuff put a damper on blogging. I have time off again.

We have a new Secret Ninja Cleaner to replace Mopzilla. And a new allegedly fierce manager whose evening shifts will be Monday and Tuesday. I won’t be too surprised to be not working Monday and Tuesday in the future. I have a feeling there was a conversation that ended ‘Keep him out of the way’.

Anyway, television. I don’t have one. Well I do, it’s a flatscreen but it’s analogue so it’s only good for playing DVD and VHS. I cannot receive live transmissions at the moment, I don’t even have a radio.

There was once, and maybe still is, an American band called ‘Television‘. I saw them on the Old Grey Whistle Test one long-ago student night. Those of my age will remember Whispering Bob. But I digress.

I have lived in this flat for just over a month. Changing the council tax was surprisingly easy. I filled in an online form and I have a 25% ‘sad loner’ discount. They phoned me to arrange it all. Easy.

Electricity was not so easy. It’s turned so complex it’ll be another post one day.

Today it’s television, the one I don’t have. What I do have is four unopened letters from the licence Nazis and a note saying they tried to call at 4 pm one idiotic day when nobody is likely to be home no matter what they work. They say they have rescheduled the visit but won’t say when so I won’t be home then either.

Their little threatening letter demanded to know why I had not responded to their letters. Simple. I haven’t opened any of them yet. TV licensing is not a priority when you have no TV. There is a Sky dish and aerial on the outside of the flat but neither are connected to anything inside.

So I tried phoning the number to tell them I have no TV, and after getting through the viciously friendly recorded menu I found they had nobody available to talk to me. I expect there will be more letters I won’t open because there is no point. I have no TV and they aren’t interested in hearing about it.

Well here’s one for the TV licencing idiots. A song that impresses me with its guitar persistence. It is in general a pretty song anyway, and considering the shite that passes for most TV now, really quite accurate.


15 thoughts on “Damn that television

  1. Just when you thought it was safe to go back on the internet, Leggy returns!…. 😀 😀

    Just a thought, Is it not the case that an internet connection counts for the T.V nazis these days?

    Liked by 1 person

    • I think you’re right about the internet connection. I have a UK VPN so (among other things) I can watch F1 when it’s on the BBC, and when I log on to the streaming site, I get a message reminding me that I must have a TV license if I want to continue watching.

      Liked by 1 person

      • No, it’s not right about the internet connection. You require a TV license to watch a live broadcast – be that via the medium of a high frequency radio signal encoding audio-visual data, or a high frequency electrical signal doing the same. You do not require a TV license to own a computer, connect it to the internet and throw your life savings into eBay – any more than you require a driving license to operate a pedal bike on the roads…
        You don’t even need a license (yet, although I bet there’s more than one civil servant sitting almost priapic at their desks with the dream of taxing every phone connection) to watch non-live content on the iPlayer. It’s just for live broadcasts, hence the warning on your F1 streaming service 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

          • I thought I remembered them talking about it a year or two back. Here, you HAVE to pay, regardless. There was one fella lived in the middle of a forest somewhere down south, in a yurt. Water from a stream, heat from windfall, light from candles. Not even a battery in the Yurt, if he wanted electric he could rub a baloon on his head, and zap the cat, but that was it. But, because his piece of land had somehow been registered as a postal address, he had to pay the GEZ (Our T.V licence.) He even got prison time for not paying.


  2. The TV licensing bods are all civilians, and have no powers of entry. They also have no Crown protection, so if they get too nosy, simply report them to the police under the Protection from Harassment laws. This generally makes them go quiet for quite a while.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. TVL are in reality capita employees. Pointless contacting them cos all their computer does is trawl the personal address file database built by Royal Mail and send out automatic ‘we have opened an investigation’ letters to the ‘unlicensed address’.
    Sending them back is a waste of time and effort, burning them is quite satisfying and should a capita knocker ever turn up and you open the door to them immediately close the door on them without speaking to them. For kicks have a search on youtube to see them run.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’ve been getting letters from the Telly Tax people for years addressed to “Legal Occupier”. I have no idea who Mr or Ms Occupier is so I just send them back marked “not known at this address”. It doesn’t seem to stop them coming.

    A couple of years ago a little fat woman with a clip board knocked on the door. I answered it and she demanded to see my TV licence. I told her I didn’t have one and she got a piece of paper out and said I had to sign it.

    “Oh no” I said, “I never sign anything. It’s my rule.”

    She looked at me slyly and replied,

    “But you’ve got to.”

    So I bid her good day (or words to that effect) and closed the door.

    Not been back since.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Welcome back Leggy!

    I too have the lonely bastard variety of council tax, it breaks my heart having to pay it so I always leave the monthly payment until they have sent me a reminder, petty I know but I like to see that extra bit of admin as somehow counting towards the ridiculous monthly cost of it all.

    I don’t pay the TV licence and I don’t pay the water either, being in a block of flats there are 4 flats connected to one supply, so they are unable to individually turn one flat off. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Welcome back. I had wondered whether you were okay and was starting to think that ‘her indoors’ had had her revenge, by stuffing you down a drain or something, one piece at a time. Glad to hear that is not the case!!

    I had an email from the tv licensing people just recently saying that I had paid up to August 2016 and that I was a good little citizen for doing it. Pats on the back all round. How on earth I’ve managed to do that, I’ve no idea. I’ve just been paying the normal monthly direct debit, so don’t know how I have paid so far in front! I’m wondering whether to cancel the direct debit and perhaps start up again next August, but I suppose that will set off a chain reaction and I’ll get a visit from some BBC Hitler type to tell me off.


    Liked by 1 person

  7. There’s definitely no point telling them that you don’t have the facility to watch live television (note weasel-wording of the sentence) as all they will do is wait a year or so & start sending the same threatening letters again.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I have the same, no TV since wifey buggered off. I tried to tell them but their webshite insisted that a downloaded a form and sent them ‘evidence’. What? a photograph of the empty space where it sat before she buggered off with it? Charge them 50 nicker for dealing with every letter that they send you. Wankers……….


  9. If Capita were polite enough to publish a freephone number and/or send a freepost envelope with their menacing letters then I would be polite enough to inform them that I do not watch any live broadcast.
    Until they do they will get my very impolite two word advice when they visit.
    I do not see why I should pay for a phone call or postage to keep their database up to date.
    The council never bother me about renewing my dangerous animal licence, for a very good reason, even the dullards in council offices can spot why I don’t need to renew it.


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