I took a roundabout route to Denmark this time. Amsterdam for a change of plane. I don’t understand why it was several hundred pounds cheaper to do that than to just fly direct, but it was.
This time I was left to my own devices in Copenhagen. Trusted to get the right train and not end up in Sweden. I managed this surprisingly well despite the trains running the wrong way on the tracks.
So far I have managed not to die when crossing the road even though the traffic, like much of the world, drives on the wrong side of the road.
The trains have a sign inside…
CynaraeStMary could translate this in a moment but I had a few hours on the train so I decided to try. I know only a few words of Danish and none of them were on the sign but what the hell.
The first two lines I guessed as saying that the rail company had adopted this old Viking king as patron or logo in 1991. This was going to be easy.
Next, King Harald, dead since 988, was one of the greatest Danish Viking kings. He reigned for about 50 years ad made Christianity the official religion of the country in 960. In that bit were the words Gorm den Gamle. That’s where I got stuck and eventually gave up and free-associated the rest.
He was an old slut who became known as the nastiest Viking buggerer in Trelleborg. Nonsmoking, aggravating and fucked by hobbits. At the time, some fortune tellers and runescripts describe him as ‘That Harald who sickened Denmark and Norway with his god damned Christmas’.
To get decorations for his basement he buggered the gardener then stuffed his store with jellybabies, a little mannequin dipped in gravy then some jellyfish finally detailing with a sandwich of mammary glands.
Okay, it’s probably not a perfect translation but I think it’s pretty close considering I don’t actually know a single word.
I should have left this until I was safely back in Scotland. The next post might be about my trip to a sickhouse to have a tablet computer removed…
I am sure your translation is spot on…
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*stiffles giggle* You should read it, Clicky. Rude…
*holds sides*
Legsy, that’s bloody ace! If you get fed up with being a Ninja Cleaner, you could be a Ninja Translator 😉
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2904814/Shock-figures-reveal-huge-sums-spent-translators-police-councils-hospitals.html
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If you’re short of a few beer tokens, you could always offer your polyglot services to:
http://www.lutonits.org.uk/Luton_Interpreting_Services.html
Danish & Gaelic appear to be missing from the range of languages requiring translation in that multi-culti enclave known as Lutonistan.
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It’s probably a depiction of the ‘Jelling Stone’, 2 big runic lumps of rock. The first was created by order of King Gormless, the 2nd by his son King Harald Bluetack.
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You know the Jelling stone? I’m impressed
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You know the Jelling stone? I’m impressed
If that was aimed at me then don’t be. In a previous existence I trained for the priesthood and recognized, even from Leg’s lo-res pic, the depiction of Christ. The rest, as they say, was
easygoogles.LikeLiked by 1 person
The trains are named after prominent historical people, each train having a sign explaining about the person it is named after. Gorm den Gamle (“the old one”) was the first recognized king of Denmark, Harald Blåtand (“bluetooth”, as in the technology named after him 😉 his son. Harald had some burial mounds made to commemorate his father and mother, also had some of the earliest runestones carved. Furthermore he was responsibe for converting the danes to christianity. More here -> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gorm_the_Old
But I’m sure you heard all of this on your way to the hospital. 😉
Speaking of translations, have you translated any of these yet? -> http://i.imgur.com/eHjkaH2.png
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Gamle is Norwegian for ‘old’. This is important – cheese is ‘ost’. There is a thing called gamle ost. Avoid it.
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Also the Danish word. Thinking of the Gamle Ole cheese? He’s safe with me I only buy cheese so mild it’s halfway rubber.
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The Tutor only buys cheese that is one molecule shy of being defined – chemically – as plastic.
http://www.tesco.com/groceries/product/details/?id=254266371
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I have tried that alleged cheese. I don’t believe it’s cheese.
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Auton mnemonic… 😉
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BTW Leg, if you look inside CstM’s pisspot…passport..then you should find that depiction of Christ too. It is, apparently, the Danisch equivalent of ‘Without Let’. No Dane is certified as genuine without.
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“No Dane is certified as genuine without.”
Crumbs! Does this mean there are counterfeit Danes out there? Where are border controls when we need them . . . . oh . . .
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Couldn’t resist this…Min luftpudebåd er fyldt med ål.
But I suspect the most useful phrase in Danish is “Den herre derovre vil betale.”
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Making notes…
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Kvinden med de store bryster
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The fallen Madonna? 😉
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You need one of these phrasebooks, LI. You’ll have no trouble then. I expect you could get a Danish one…
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He doesn’t need that he has me 😉
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He doesn’t need that he has me
Remarkable bird, the
NorwegianDanish Blue, idn’it, ay? Beautiful plumage!LikeLiked by 1 person
Danish Blue is cheese. A long time favourite of mine, as it happens
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Oi! Are you calling me mouldy?
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No, I’m talking food. Speaking of which, isn’t it nearly feeding time?
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I already ordered burgers. I can’t make him drive faster
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I just smile and make it up in a Welsh accent 🙂
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make it up in a Welsh accent
ie sing-song pakistani with added ‘LL’ diphthongs and not enough vowel sounds ? 😛
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Occasional throat clearing and ‘boyo’ and you have it 🙂
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I know very little about Denmark and the Danes.
ONE
I used to faux-insult a British-Critter who fancied himself a Saxon with the following declarative: “Go to hell Saxon, or I’ll go all Rorke’s Drift with an Ulfberht on your sorry Jutish arse.”
TWO
http://sterculianrhetoric.blogspot.ca/2015/11/1984-and-all-that.html
THREE
Denmark and The Canadas are about to go to war over some frozen rock up in the Arctic somewhere.
FOUR
And this is a new one, the Danes engage in an inordinate amount of ‘buggering’.
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I’m as green as green over you being in Denmark again. When I did my family tree, I realised due to the fact that a significant branch came from Norfolk, that down the line somewhere we must be Danish on that side (the surnames gave it away) due to the Danes invading in the eight century. Keep meaning to do research of this supposed Danish lineage, but something always gets in the way…
:o)
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We could be related 😀
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You better not be related to me 🙂
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You’d have been much better looking then ;P
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😛
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I thought she was from Denmark not Norfolk?
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I am. But my great great great etc could have gone to Norfolk to rape and pillage.
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to Norfolk to rape
Only if the Norse heroes of yore were really into sheep….and girls whose BMI matched their IQ.
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I note also that in my absence Legoless Iron still hasn’t managed to sort out the formatting of the comments section.
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It’s damn near impossible to change. Give me a couple of days…
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I’m pretty sure I’ve never been to Norfolk.
So fat and clever?
Well he’s been busy keeping me from burning down stuff and plundering.
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So fat and clever?
No I meant they are fat and the result of generations of incest. I mentally compose my comments in German (actually more like Denglisch these days) and sometimes get the word order wrong when I type. It should, of course, have read ‘IQ matches their BMI’. My bad.
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You’re German?
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If you trot up to Norway avoid Lutefisk. I had some on Christmas. I was asked how it was. I lied and said it was fine. The bastards ordered some more for me. More aquavit was required. A lot more!
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Tried the fish pudding?
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@ CstM No I’m a Brit who got very very drunk one Xmas in Edinburgh and ended up in Germany (looong story involving further copious amounts of alcohol, dancing girls, Cous Cous and a cast of thousands) married The Prettiest Innocentest Xian Mädchen In The German Village,had 3 kids and despite returning to the yUK over a decade ago we still speak what passes for German at home. Well the The Bestes Frau In The World and I speak German, the kids however are illiterate in both their mother tongues….and Youngest Useless Object And Freshest Dad has even acquired a Norfolk accent to complete his idiotic sounding German-English-Friesian-Hessian Pidgin. I’m hoping his daughter, my 4 month old Granddaughter2, will teach him to read before she goes to school.
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