Welcome back to denormalisation

I’d like to start 2016 by wishing everyone a Happy New Year but in reality we still have the same dickheads in charge and the same unelected control freaks keeping the drones in a state of being perpetually offended and terrified about nothing at all.

Oh and vapers, we kept your seat warm here on the naughty step because as predicted all that time ago, you’re back with us smokers. Cozying up to the antismokers, joining in with the smokerphobia, didn’t help at all, did it? We did try to warn you.

Yes, I know, not all vapers fell for the propaganda but those who did were very vocal about it. Some still are. Some still think the Puritans are on their side now that they have moved of from what they call ‘analogue’ smoking to the modern digital Electrofag. Eventually they’ll get the idea.

Electrofag is now as deadly as smoking (CStM found this link and is ultimately responsible for my writing this post). It’s crap of course. Steam is not smoke, and Electrofag vapour disperses harmlessly in the air within moments. Nothing is burning, there are no combustion products and no smoke particles of any kind at all. And yet the drones will believe they will die of steam as surely as they believe they will die if they see a cigarette display in a a shop. Prepare to have your Electrofags consigned to the Doors of Shame just like the rest of us.

In this New Year we will be treated to the spectacle of the NHS supplying Electrofag (yes, vapers, you are about to become a ‘cost to the NHS’ for your ‘filthy habit’ just as you thought you’d escaped that accusation) while the Gubblement pretend it isn’t happening so we smokers don’t all rush to get a free Electrofag.

Well, let’s see, the last Electrofag I bought was in Poundland. I paid one shiny British pound for the entire kit and one pound each for some replacement heater/container/mouthpiece things (vapers will no doubt sneer at my lack of knowledge of the jargon). So really, ‘free on the NHS’ doesn’t make a big difference when you can get the basic kit really cheap anyway. There won’t be a rush.

I have several versions of Electrofag now and NHS or no, if I was going to switch I would already have done so. I haven’t and I’m not likely to. Especially not under medical lifestyle supervision.

Meanwhile, just as the NHS roll out their ‘Electrofag is Good’ campaign, the EU roll out their ‘Electrofag is deadly and we’re banning it‘ campaign. Starting with those deemed to be ‘too strong’ and then once those are gone, the next level down will be ‘too strong’ and so on. Logic and common sense have no place in politics nor in modern medicine, it seems.

And yet the Electrofag itself, the actual gadget, has no ‘strength’ at all in terms of vaping. It all depends on the juice you put in it. Banning the gadget means nothing, it’s a pretty simple device and homemade ones are no doubt already out there. The internet has instructions on making your own juice – you can do it from bought baccy or grow your own – and the device is really just a battery and heater. Try the glow plugs from model aircraft engines for the heater.

Still bans must be imposed because that’s all governments do nowadays and it’s the only manner of preventive medicine open to a medical fraternity that the Middle Ages alchemists would laugh at.

It all boils down to ‘do as you are told’. It doesn’t matter to the control freaks what you are told, as long as you do it. Whether it is good for you or not is of no relevance. They want you to dance to their tune even when their tune is a discordant cacophony of contradiction and nonsense. In fact, the more contradictory and nonsensical the better. It’s more fun to watch the drones jump one way then the other without a single questioning thought crossing their dusty, little-used minds.

The Dutch intend to ban vaping for under 18s even though I can’t recall a single vape-seller who would sell to under 18s anyway. Even the Poundland one was age restricted. Right from the beginning, Electrofag sellers insisted on only selling to over 18s. Will under 18s get hold of them?

Of course they will. They get real smokes and they get booze and they get drugs I can’t even get. Electrofag being banned will just make it all the more enticing. They’ll get it.

Then we can hear all over again how inhaling steam will make the cheeeldren crave real smoke. Cobblers. Inhaling traffic fumes is probably a lot closer to real smoking and much more harmful too. Yet that seems to be pretty much okay with the medics, the politicians and the rest of the Puritan mindless horde.

Still it’s New Year so I shouldn’t end on a gloomy note. I’ve often said the Electrofag produces great smoke rings even though it isn’t real smoke. It does, every one I’ve tried makes good, coherent smoke rings. Usually a good few from one mouthful too.

But I have never yet reached the pinnacle of this kind of skill. Yes, that’s in the same newspaper that insists Electrofag will save smokers and then kill everyone on the planet. Again, logic and common sense are things of the past. You have to laugh at it all because if you start taking it seriously you’ll die of gloom.

Happy New Year anyway.