Weep at the stupidity of the intelligentsia

First the good news. The Plan has worked. I am now solvent for the foreseeable future and will be able to reduce my day job and spend more time writing. I can also accumulate some savings again and will have a zero balance on my credit card once more. Seven years of penury has finally come to an end.

And now… the bad news.

There is salt in your food. Yes, really. Don’t believe it? Well, see for yourself.

saltClicking should biggify the image

The logical conclusion of that little snippet is that two slices of Dominos pizza or a Big Mac and fries are a healthier choice than vegetarian soup made out of tomatoes and leaves. Which is fine with me (although I prefer to buy a pizza and cook it at home, it’s cheaper and I can add more cheese, chillis, pepperoni and salt).

It’s also a lie, as far as I’m concerned. I add a lot of salt to chips (fries, for the weird countries out there). A lot. I rarely add any salt to soup – admittedly this is in large part caused by my rare intake of soup but even so.

This is a comparison of utterly different foods. I suppose it is possible to make a Big Mac and fries soup if you have a good blender, but you’ll never get a vegetarian soup to sit still in a bread roll. Take my word for it, soup sandwiches are definitely a failed experiment.

In days of yore, sailors would subsist on barrels of salted roast pork or beef. Not just a bit of salt rubbed in. This was a barrel of roast meat filled to the brim with salt. There was a very good reason for this.

Bacteria can only grow if there is available water. There can be as much water as you like but if it’s tied up in dissolving things then it is not available for metabolism. This is how jam works and why low sugar jam soon becomes a fungus jungle. The sugar is there not to feed the microbes, but to tie up all the water so the bugs can’t get at it.

Likewise with the salt. Artificial preservatives were all taken away a long time ago so if you want things to last, you have to use the old, natural methods and one of them is salt. It ties up the water so the bugs can’t grow. In particular, the one they wanted to avoid was botulism.

This is food poisoning, a distinct and very different thing from food borne diseases like Salmonella. The beastie in question, Clostridium botulinum, does not cause any infection. The bacterium is, in itself, harmless. However, when it grows in food it produces 15 different neurotoxins and not all of them are destroyed by cooking. It’s not the bug that gets you, it’s the poison it left behind.

Clostridium botulinum cannot grow in a high salt environment. It also prefers a no-oxygen environment such as, say, the inside of a can of soup… unless it’s salty.

Your choice is simple. Take in a lot of salt, knowing perfectly well that as long as you drink enough water your kidneys can easily remove the excess – or even believing that it will make you die a few years earlier than you would have anyway. Or, take the risk of getting a serious dose of botulism and dying in agony tomorrow. It’s not a choice most sensible people would have to spend a lot of time considering.

Or you can just get the burger and fries and lots of the tiny salt packets. It’s by far the safer option.

_____________

Slightly less bad news on the Government’s masters’ plan to mould us all into the British Standard Human. It seems the Government are not quite so keen on the idea as the likes of Jimbo Oliver would like to force them to be. The chubby champion of slimness is not getting his petulant way as fast as he wants. How dare the Government presume to question his brainless demands?

Well, they have. Or they haven’t. The British government, as usual, are dodging the issue.

Keep dodging, Cameroid. It’s what you’re expert at. Maybe you can induce heart failure in the fat heartless bastards. It’s worth a try.

____________

Finally the very bad news. CynaraeStMary must return to Denmark soon. The longship awaits. It’s not such a terrible thing really. I will be travelling over there within two weeks and now have the funding to do it.

All I need now is a place with fewer stairs and a garden. A place more little-dog and underdog friendly.

It shouldn’t take too long.

 

 

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29 thoughts on “Weep at the stupidity of the intelligentsia

  1. The reason the manufacturers put so much salt in pre-prepared vegetarian food is that it tastes so incredibly awful without it. As for CASH, they get most of their funds via the Marcela Trust, which in turn is funded via OMCI Ltd, ‘a private property investment and development company principally engaged in the commercial sector of the U.K. property market.’

    Hmmm. Two of the directors of OMC Investments are also on the board of the Marcela Trust which bunged over two million to CASH in 2014. See:
    http://apps.charitycommission.gov.uk/Accounts/Ends14/0001127514_AC_20120731_E_C.pdf
    http://opencharities.org/charities/1127514

    …and before you can say “Shell game…”

    Liked by 2 people

  2. It’s nice to hear that your “not be skint” project is fulfilling its potential. Take care when visiting Denmark, it’s full of foreigners. Oh, no, that’s Germany; no, hang on, it’s France. Just a minute, it’s Britain; damitall, foreigners are everywhere. Send a gunboat!

    Liked by 2 people

      • Not just the northern UK, the buggers got as far round as what is now Cornwall and Devon, and even had settlements in Wales and Ireland. During the late 9th and early 10th centuries, they even had an intermittent toehold in London.

        Incidentally, ‘Viking’ is derived from an old Saxon English term which means ‘raider’ or ‘raiding’. “To go a-viking” literally meant to go raiding another settlement and nicking their stuff. You didn’t have to be Danish or scowegian, although so many Vikings were.

        Liked by 1 person

    • Leggy, it’s good to learn you’re now in a position to advise Boy Osborne on fiscal fiduciary.
      ———

      As an ex-member of ‘Slim’s Forgotten Army’ who fought in the jungles Burma, my dad vouches for approved military method of removing the pesky suckers – “touch ’em with the lit-end of a fag”.

      1. Hence the free-issue of fags to our combatants during that little brouhaha with the Knights of Bushido.

      2. A benefit ignored by ASH. πŸ˜‰

      [Salt would exacerbate the many other wounds & sores all combatants in that theatre suffered.]

      Liked by 1 person

  3. My grandmother was seriously concerned about my intake of salt when I was three years old. It’s one of my first memories. I wasn’t worried then, and never have been.

    On a slightly more serious note. When my stepmother went around pouring salt on slugs, I went behind her pouring water on them when she wasn’t watching. I don’t know how many slugs I saved, but I still don’t kill them. I chuck them over the garden wall after I chucked a couple of hedgehogs the same way because the dog kept on bringing them into the house.
    And if you have never had a hedgehog flea, then you don’t want one.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. A couple of years ago slugs were everywhere or more to the point chomping through expensive plants. Salt sorted them out along with the blue thingies. Every evening we ambushed slugs on the path on their way to the flower beds. Interesting foamy mess results.

    I had a mate who put salt on everything. If had a carry out in the foil tins he’d cover the top with salt. And then eat it all.

    Liked by 1 person

    • How cruel. And Blue Thingies kill birds, if they don’t just make birds sterile. If you were out there you only needed to pull them off and put them somewhere else.
      And what makes you think that your life is more important than a Slug in the true order of things?

      Sorry about that. This is not a personal attack on you. But why kill things when other options are available?

      Liked by 1 person

  5. So pleased that your plans have finally come to fruition. I suspect it has something to do with a severing of ties with ‘her indoors’ who has now been relegated to another division. Well done in keeping sane. Next stop that contract from an agent and then a publisher….

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Looking forward to your take on gubmint’s fantastic new idea to save the NHS money: ‘healthy towns’. One of them is to be quite near me- sure it’ll be a roaring success once they’ve sorted out the inbreeding. I wonder if these towns won’t have GP surgeries, off licences and tobacconists; and what happens if a resident becomes lardy – will they be evicted? Will the health police be poking in the bins to find evidence of a takeaway? Will the residents proudly park their top of the range bike on the drive and chat about its aerodynamic frame and twenty gears with the neighbours?

    The mind boggles.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. And of the media..

    via David Thompson

    http://davidthompson.typepad.com/davidthompson/2016/03/friday-ephemera.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+Davidthompson+%28davidthompson%29

    I can thoroughly recommend his Friday Ephemera and, of course, his other stuff.

    And there’s this

    .mickhartley.typepad.com/blog/2016/03/a-picture-might-transmit-sorcery.html

    Don’t get ideas Leggy…..

    Like

  8. We don’t bother with cans, we just dehydrate stuff. Turns out just over five and a quarter kilos of tomatoes can be dried and made into just over a quarter kilo of tomato powder. Aka instant tomato soup. You can do all sorts of fun things with a dehydrator!

    Hubby makes exceptional jerky, but that one worries me a little with MCR-1 out in the wild, as it were. It won’t stop jerky production, but I do wonder!

    Like

  9. Soup in sandwiches might not work, but as a poor impoverished student once, I purloined a load of sandwiches left over after a meeting. By day three they were a bit stale, so I made them into soup.

    That way works….

    Like

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