You load sixteen tons, and what do you get?

Pie and chips if you’re lucky. It’s tons not tonnes because I’m pre-metric and have that song on vinyl.

So now Experts have Said that we have to be faced with labels saying how much exercise we need to do to burn off what we eat. Not a single mention of resting burn. You have to exercise to burn off every single calorie and then you will die. Either the expert is an idiot or they are trying to kill us all.

I really don’t know which to choose any more.

They are either incredibly stupid or very, very cunning. They want population reduction and have made no secret of it, while claiming to care about your health, and then come out over and over with advice that will kill you.

I can envisage a large chocolate cake with the advice that you will have to run 50 miles to burn it off. Get stuffed. If I eat it all I won’t be able to move for days, but I wasn’t planning to eat it all at once. Probably.

And I only run if something I can’t beat is chasing me.

For the record I am 5’9″ and 13 stone and none of it is fat. I have never counted calories in my life. I eat what Iike (tonight was lamb rogan josh with rice) and smoke and drink and pretty much do as I please. At 56 I am on no medication of any kind. You want to tell me how much exercise I have to do if I have steak and chips? Go ahead and tell me. I won’t do it.

When will these alleged experts find lives of their own, so they don’t have to keep trying to live ours for us?

When will the drones take responsibility for their own lives and stop expecting others to do it for them?

Most of all, when do we get to stop paying for this shit?

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29 thoughts on “You load sixteen tons, and what do you get?

  1. “Most of all, when do we get to stop paying for this shit?”

    As soon as you’ve finished your 117,543 sit-ups, 97,412 chin-ups, and finished the Johannesburg to Oslo marathon.

    Until then pay up weiner, and smile while you’re doing it or we’ll make you count it all out in ha’pence!

    – MJM, aka, The Management

    Liked by 1 person

  2. “And I only run if something I can’t beat is chasing me.”

    Well now, that’s not a very good survival strategy, is it Leggy? You should only run if something that you can beat is chasing you. If something you can’t beat is chasing you, a better policy is to hide! Hope there aren’t too many hungry cheetahs living around your neck of the woods …

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I have a, fictional, mate who extols the virtues of the old Jane Fonda workout video (he’s old school and I’m going back a bit). He watched it for three days straight when he first got it. Reckoned he developed a right arm to shame Arnold Schwarzenegger’s…

    I’ll get me coat.

    Liked by 1 person

    • The Mothership once got one of those exercise videos. We watched it together, sitting on the sofa whilst eating cream cakes, drinking hot coco and talking about how we were both totally getting ready for the bikini season. It was fun.

      Liked by 2 people

  4. The example of the calories intake against the calories burn was pretty stupid. The journalist doing it was a journalist not a fitness person or a nutritionist. He gave the impression that all the calories had to be used through exercise. So what about our need to have calories for our bodies to burn so it can get through a day?

    If you’ve been to a gym you’ll know how difficult it is to burn calories. It takes time to do it.

    Mind you the number of cyclists on the roads have rocketed due to a leftie, PC fad. They cycle a lot without getting any training, don’t have insurance and don’t pay towards roads upkeep. They fall down a lot. In Edinburgh they tried to sue the Council because of the tram lines making it difficult for them. It’s not like they moved the tram lines about they are fixed in place so you’d imagine people would remember not to get too near them. But they are lefties and greenies and they are the righteous.

    I may have gone off topic by a major distance there…

    Oops…

    Liked by 1 person

    • As some may know, I cycle and enjoy it. I dislike the ‘fad’ side and the fitness fanatics. I just like riding my bike.

      The council offered cycling training and I took the course. The guy who did it wondered why I had bothered since my cycling was fine. I thought it worthwhile, just as a refresher.

      I am also insured. British cycling give third party cover as part of the membership.

      As for falling down and tram lines. General awareness will help and of course training for young riders. I also pay for road upkeep as I drive a car. Note: Cyclists pay the same VED as a Toyota Prius.

      Of course there are issues and it applies to all road users. We all have a space to share and there is bound to be conflict at times. My biggest concern is the state of the roads. This makes them unsafe for everybody. This is something on which, I hope, we can agree,

      Speaking of the state of the roads, I will be watching Paris-Roubaix on Sunday (10th apr). Hoping Fabian Cancellara will win this epic race, which includes cobbled sections, as the crowning glory to his excellent career. (Peter Sagan can come 2nd :))

      Liked by 1 person

        • This is an argument in favour of a mountain bike. Doesn’t have to be anything special; I have Frankenstein’s Mountainbike lurking in my cellar and said steed isn’t anything special (despite having been photographed leaning casually against the summit trig point of Cader Idris), but the bike and I are well able to cope with potholes.

          Indeed, a nicely potholed road is a challenge. You never really know what’s lurking in a pothole; lends a challenge to an otherwise boring ride, it does. Best tried with a helmet, in case what lurks below decides it likes your front wheel so much it tried to keep it.

          Like

        • I also used to cycle, about 150 miles a week, just for the pleasure of it. It’s great for fitness and enjoyable in many ways.
          The current trend for cycling is a good thing but it suffers very badly from a type of on topic, see me I’m doing the right thing for the environment and Im a hero because of it.
          The biggest issue is that of untrained cyclists. It mirrors the sudden jump in motorcycle use which took place following the Second World War. Lots and lots and lots of people were killed using their motorcycle. It got so bad the government had to introduce testing, training and insurance etc. It looks like the same thing will happen again for cycling.
          I don’t cycle now because I live in the city and I’m not a great fan of large buses driving along a foot from my back wheel, various drivers with a god born right to drive like lunatics and diesel fumes which I sure kill far, far, far more people then smoking does.
          I’m on you’re side with cycling. Unfortunately, the leftie greenies will spoil it for the rest of us like they do with everything else they touch.
          Oh well……

          Like

  5. It’s amazing how much of an appetite can be worked up, with a little exercise.

    Went for a walk yesterday, and when we got back home we had to finish-off the bag of doughnuts!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Honestly, it’s getting worse now. Some of it, in fact most of it, seems to have no basis in scientific fact. I’m sure I saw the headline ‘Smoking alters your DNA’ in the Daily Mail during the week. I made the supreme effort not to read it, in case if made me so angry, I spontaneously combusted. Wouldn’t do the carpets any good.

    :o)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Alcohol unit allowance (as if I’m going to to pay any attention to an ‘allowance’) is a downright lie and ‘five a day’ is purely made up. Second hand and third hand smoke and so on have no basis in fact whatsoever. Neither does most of it.

      It’s using science to push what should really be called a cult religion and it’s wrecking science’s credibility in the process.

      Liked by 2 people

  7. I’m 5’10” and weigh about 10½ stone, as I have for the past forty or more years. I eat whatever takes my fancy, and I don’t ‘do exercise’, never have (although my work is quite physically demanding).

    I think a lot of this calorie business is a red herring, and the attempt to apply the ‘one-size-fits-all’ template to people is misleading to put it mildly. We all have different body ratios, bone mass and metabolisms, and to tell people that there is a single reason for them being overweight (by the standards set arbitrarily), and likewise a single solution to that ‘health issue that needs to be addressed’ is going to create more problems than it solves.

    As you say, LI, it’s well past time that these self-appointed ‘experts’ butted out of our lives and got one of their own.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. We joined a gym recently – quiet at the back, there – to tone us up and give us something to do between bouts fending off the grim reaper. As part of the introductory session the resident fit person did some checks and questionnaires. When he got to the section which mentioned BMI I said ” that’s total bollox”. “Of course it is”, he said, so we get on fine.

    Like

  9. XX exercise XX

    Sorry, I … WHAT?

    Can someone please translate that into German, my English appears to have escaped me.

    And ES! I am still alive…. JUST. 😀

    Like

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