Another year older and deeper in debt

I had the Look of Death from small baker today. It was an innocent and sincere question I asked as she was printing labels instead of finishing off the baking so I could get in there and deal with cleaning it.

“Why aren’t you in the kitchen, woman?”

I mean come on, how could anyone take offence at such a simple question? Yet she did. Perhaps I should not have gone on to explain why women get married in white. It’s so that when you get them home, they match the other kitchen appliances. You even have to carry them in, like a fridge.

Now she thinks I’m some kind of misogynist. I have no idea how these rumours start.

Anyway. I’m old now and yet there are banks out there willing to give me a mortgage. Seriously? Well sure. The bank can’t lose. If I die or fail to pay, they get the house – which will have gone up in value since they loaned me the money so they’re quids in. Plus, they get to keep everything I would have already paid.

There are those who will give me an interest-only mortgage any time between now and the age of 95. Is anyone really likely to be able to pay off the capital by the time they get to 95? It’s unlikely, isn’t it? Unless you’re already rich when you start the mortgage, in which case why not just buy the house outright?

It only makes sense from the bank’s point of view. They convert ‘money’ which isn’t real into ‘house’ which is real and all they have to do is wait for you to die. Targeting the older house buyer means they have a much better chance of winning the game and won’t have to wait long in most cases. Really, not that many make it to 95 and those that do usually end up in a care home somewhere because their body has grown to 95 and their mind has reverted to about 8.

It’s horrible but it happens. No point glossing over it. Your earning potential is going to be affected when you think cassette tape players have just been invented and your son is your brother. You’re going to lose that house. Or have to sell it, in which case the bank gets their money back plus whatever early repayment penalty they wrote into the contract.

Put simply, getting a mortgage in later life is a bad idea. Unless you want your last will and testament full of bills rather than bequests.

I’m not a financial advisor and my past financial record is pretty dismal to say the least, but I wouldn’t touch this kind of mortgage with a bargepole.

I don’t mind dying broke. It’s how I lived most of my life anyway.

I won’t die leaving debts to my children.


5 thoughts on “Another year older and deeper in debt

  1. “I won’t die leaving debts to my children.”

    I think the older Boomers have that philosophy, but the younger ones and the generations after them will generally be leaving a heavily mortgaged home. Heck they may even be leaving student loans — I don’t know if those things EVER go away!

    ” Perhaps I should not have gone on to explain why women get married in white. It’s so that when you get them home, they match the other kitchen appliances. You even have to carry them in, like a fridge.”

    Heh, how appropriate. Just as I was writing this response my “iHeart” station on Tchaikovsky began “Mars, The Bringer Of War” from Holst’s “The Planets.” I think the only kitchen appliance you’d see after that explanation would be the interior of the sink’s garbage disposal chopper… close up! LOL!


    Liked by 1 person

  2. ‘Wealth’ is a relative concept. I had a friend years ago (’90s) who was an Estate Agent. He lived in a big detached house in one of the better parts of Twickenham, drove a new Mercedes sports car, sent his kids to private school, had one of those hugely expensive bricks which were the first ‘mobile’ phones, and generally lived the high life. But it was all done on credit. He didn’t really have two beans to rub together. He owed probably close on a million quid to various banks, which was a considerable sum back then. Hell, it is now. I don’t know what happened to him, but I know at the end the banks were closing in for the kill. He probably declared himself bankrupt and then started the whole cycle all over again. He was that sort of guy. Just how long one can keep doing that, I have no idea, but it can’t be much of a life, always waiting for the knock on the door.


  3. Reminds me of a chap I knew years ago. His story didn’t end well at all. He was basically obsessed with money, status and having things, to the extent that he was mortgaged up to the eyeballs, and running a car on finance, with this owned by a company. He was also a depressive, too proud to go to the local quack and try to get this treated.

    One day, he killed himself; took a walk on a live local railway line so that his end looked accidental (likely scarred the poor bugger driving the train for life) and so the life insurance would pay out to his wife.

    After this, all the story came out; all the bragging about the high-end car he owned and all that. Everything was on credit, and his family were having a hell of a time getting the BMW dealer to understand that when a company owner dies, so does the source of the money that is paying off the finance. I rather think they were too easily cowed and too dim to simply send said dealer a copy of his death certificate and tell them where to stick their demands.


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