I had the Look of Death from small baker today. It was an innocent and sincere question I asked as she was printing labels instead of finishing off the baking so I could get in there and deal with cleaning it.
“Why aren’t you in the kitchen, woman?”
I mean come on, how could anyone take offence at such a simple question? Yet she did. Perhaps I should not have gone on to explain why women get married in white. It’s so that when you get them home, they match the other kitchen appliances. You even have to carry them in, like a fridge.
Now she thinks I’m some kind of misogynist. I have no idea how these rumours start.
Anyway. I’m old now and yet there are banks out there willing to give me a mortgage. Seriously? Well sure. The bank can’t lose. If I die or fail to pay, they get the house – which will have gone up in value since they loaned me the money so they’re quids in. Plus, they get to keep everything I would have already paid.
There are those who will give me an interest-only mortgage any time between now and the age of 95. Is anyone really likely to be able to pay off the capital by the time they get to 95? It’s unlikely, isn’t it? Unless you’re already rich when you start the mortgage, in which case why not just buy the house outright?
It only makes sense from the bank’s point of view. They convert ‘money’ which isn’t real into ‘house’ which is real and all they have to do is wait for you to die. Targeting the older house buyer means they have a much better chance of winning the game and won’t have to wait long in most cases. Really, not that many make it to 95 and those that do usually end up in a care home somewhere because their body has grown to 95 and their mind has reverted to about 8.
It’s horrible but it happens. No point glossing over it. Your earning potential is going to be affected when you think cassette tape players have just been invented and your son is your brother. You’re going to lose that house. Or have to sell it, in which case the bank gets their money back plus whatever early repayment penalty they wrote into the contract.
Put simply, getting a mortgage in later life is a bad idea. Unless you want your last will and testament full of bills rather than bequests.
I’m not a financial advisor and my past financial record is pretty dismal to say the least, but I wouldn’t touch this kind of mortgage with a bargepole.
I don’t mind dying broke. It’s how I lived most of my life anyway.
I won’t die leaving debts to my children.