Two more sleeps

Writers don’t sleep. They pass out at the keyboard and wake up with a bad dose of qwertyitis and fifteen pages of ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. So really, two more nights of writing until you drop before the first anthology gets put together.

I’ll go with putting the stories grouped by author, except for a collection of 100-word shorts that I’ll fit in between stories. Confusing and hard to understand? You’d expect no less, surely?

The story groups will be in alphabetical order based on the name you use for writing, and you can’t all be Aaron A. Aardvark. Think of something different unless you want your own name on there. I’d suggest changing your name a little, if only subtly. Some employers might not like what you write, and some people are crazy bunny-boiling stalkers. Identity fraud is big these days too. It’s best not to be too easy to find. Just add an extra initial or change a letter so you’re not on page one of a Google search.

If you want to use your own name that’s okay with me. Just don’t blame me when the crazies find you.

The deadline… I have never been good with deadlines. A day or so after and I’ll still consider it. It’s not final until it goes to printing. As the saying goes, it ain’t over till the fat baby stinks. If it’s not in this one it’ll be in another one. There’s no stopping this train now.

Okay, this thing is really happening. A few weeks ago it was just an idea and now it’s actual, real work I have to do. The Christmas one is a definite too, as is the poetry book, and I’m already thinking of taking on novels.

Underdog Publications (name subject to random variations) looks like a possible winner. It would take on underdogs, those having trouble getting in to the mainstream, and give them a leg up. No author ever pays a penny, it’s not a vanity publication house. You get paid if you work for me. Could be flat rate (anthology) or royalties (novel or single author book) but you will never get a bill from this publisher.

Well, unless you want copies at author discount rate. I can do that, I’m sure, just have to work it out. Hey, I’m new at this. Could take a week or more to become expert.

I think I might have finally worked out what I want to do with my life.

Took a while…


13 thoughts on “Two more sleeps

  1. A long long time ago, in a pub far far away, I once invented a drinking game that I called “A is for Aardvark” (or just Aardvark for short).

    It was inspired by “Buzz” — the game where people count, in turn, at a reasonably rapid pace that is usually politely and mutually acknowledged (you’ve got about a second … after which, if you’re still mumbling in your cups, you’ll hear: DRINK!!!) The rule in buzz is that for any # with a 7 or an 11 in it, OR that is a multiple of 7 or 11… you say BUZZ instead of the #. In addition to hesitations, ANY slip toward an error, a single hint of a microsecond of a bilabial where it doesn’t belong or the merest wisp of an improper digraph means it’s wet yer whistle time.

    Not too hard, right? Try it halfway through a long college night at the watering hole. Or even just straight out with a friend. If you’re NOT half in your cups then it’s also acknowledged that the pace of the game has to increase, and “Lightning Buzz” can be really intense as you yell back and forth and pounce on each other’s nanoerrors.

    OK… dunno if the game is common over in those lands we Yanks largely ran away from, so that’s why the detailed directions.

    Aardvark is, by comparison, The Intellectuals’ Drinking Game. Initially it sounds complicated, but it’s really not. Just start off a little slow and forgiving with a newbie … while fondling the daggers in your belt.

    I say a word.

    Now you say a word after it alphabetically…

    and it continues.

    Not hard, right?

    Oh… but there’s a rule: the followup word has to be “close” to the previous word. Depending on whether you’re starting with a word beginning with a letter like “o” or a word beginning with a letter like “k” (usually consonant or vowel will be the separator) the closenes involves skipping no more than one letter for either the second or third letter in a word. I say “oscillate” and you say “otitis” and I say outre and so on… till one of us hesitates too long and the other one fills in with an appropriate word while you’re still thinking! OK… You drink then! And…. if by the time you finish swallowing and put down your mug that naughty other person manages to squeeze out a third word before you’ve fully drawn your breath… well, then you drink again!

    There are two more nasty little rules:

    1) If I say “oscillate” and you say “otitis” with a satsified smirk … I don’t HAVE to come back with an “outre”: I can say OSSIFY! Ossify is, of course within the allowable gap, AND it comes alphabetically BEFORE the word you’ve just so smugly uttered. Sorry pal, you’ve been AARDVARKED! Drink! Next time you’ll try to come up with a word closer to the one you’re following. Of course it I take a second or two too long trying to remember “ossify” because I’m too ossified to be so clever, then you can quite justifiably say “otitis” and I’m the quaffer.

    2) “The Gentleman’s Drink” (Or “Ladies Drink” or whatever): when you’re both sitting there staring blankly at each other and there just doesn’t seem to be a word that exists within your agreed upon rules, one of you can declare “Gentleman’s Drink!” and you both drink, with the turn then devolving upon the other with one extra letter-skip allowed.

    2.5) Heehee… **UNLESS** your drink-mate has laid a trap for you! If you improperly propose a Gentleman’s Drink and your hooch partner gives an evil grin and, within the proper rule, produces a proper word that you hadn’t remembered existing…. Well… now you’re in deep doo-doo: Time to finish the mug and pour yourself a new one! (In higher circles this is sometimes called a “Double Aardvark, or, alternatively, a Zygote or, if you wanna be a dick about it, a zymurgy, a zyzzogeton, or a zyzzyva.) Soooo…. don’t go proposing Gentlemen’s Drinks too lightly. And have fun after words like “Kazoom”.

    And finally, either of you, at an appropriate pause period or when you believe there are too many Gentlemen’s Drinks strung out in front of you at the moment, may propose to start a new “seed” word. Between digraphs and dipthongs and plosives and labials and bilabials and underdogs zymurgies there are a wealth of starting options available.

    Give it a try and see what you think!


    Liked by 2 people

    • Actually, where I said “the closenes involves skipping no more than one letter for either the second or third letter in a word” I believe the real general rule is no skipping at all for a second letter. Kb, Kc, Kd would all be “Gentlemen’s Drinks” with the next steps being Kea, Keb, Kec etc. The “skipping” allowance can be played with beginners although they’ll be clearly leaving themselves open to be Aarvarked.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Bloody hell, M, that sounds like torture! I might have appreciated it when I was young, but I think I’ll stick to sipping (or quaffing, as the case may be) my wine in a genteel and relaxed fashion. πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

        • True. Drinking games in general no longer have the appeal they once had. :> It *was* a fun game though — the rules sound complicated when written out, but they’re pretty simple in practice: just come up with a word real close to the previous one before your opponent does!


          Liked by 1 person

First comments are moderated to keep the spambots out. Once your first comment is approved, you're in.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s