Tessie May

It’s been a long while but it’s time for another song corruption. This time Rod (Inflatable arse) Stewart takes the microphone.

Tessie May

Wake up Tessie the voters had something to say to you
It’s now September and the UK still has EU rule
We know we keep you amused
Now we know we’re being used
Oh Tessie we couldn’t have voted any clearer

We just wanted our own home
But you just won’t leave us alone
You’re stealing our country
We won’t forgive this game

The morning sun, every single day
Brings a new delay
That surprises no-one
Cause we know you’re only EU’s play

We laughed at all of your votes
We knew you were a Government joke
Oh Tessie we saw right through you

You said you would give us our home
But you’ll never let us live alone
You stole our freedom
And pretended it was okay

All we wanted was someone to break our chains for us
But you turned into a jailer, another goddamn jailer, you wear us down
All you did was dash our hopes
And every morning kick them down our throats
Oh Tessie you better stop trying, please give up

You fooled the whole Conservative Party
It’s not hard, they are only MPs
But they trusted you
And now they want to eat your brain

I suppose I could pick up some books and learn different rules
Or get a big suitcase, make a living out of smuggling food
Maybe find a baccy smuggling gang
That needs a sharp dressed man 😉
Oh Tessie you made it all happen
Don’t you know?

You promised us our own real home
Just to get yourself on the throne
You told us lies
And that’s what really hurts

We all wish we’d never seen your face
Just go home, Tessie, sooner than you can


It’s a first late night draft and open to any suggestions and improvements. Go for it, people.

Oh, here’s the original for anyone who missed Buttock Boy’s singing…


8 thoughts on “Tessie May

  1. Mind you, this year is looking epic for politics…maybe epic enough for some politicians to start acting as servants of the country?

    May hasn’t got it though. No one who could rule over the Home Office with such porous borders and such encroachments on OUR rights to speak could ever come back from the darkside.

    p.s. Rudd is a joke too. getting on for three months since the vote and we still haven’t fixed the legal immigration rules for those outside the EU?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Good stuff, Legs 😀

    ‘Cause we know you’re only EU’s play’

    That line ends with ‘everything’ in the original. How about:

    ‘Cause for you the EU means everything’

    *Yes, Click, that’s the inflatable arse reference*

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I penned this a while back…..

    “Don’t Cry For GB Angela”

    It won’t be easy, you’ll think it strange
    When I try to explain how we feel
    That we don’t need the EU after all that you’ve done

    You won’t believe the signs
    All you will see is the UK you once knew
    Although debt distressed up to the nines
    At sixes and sevens with EU

    Brexit had to happen, we had to change
    Can’t live our lives under the EU heel
    Looking out of the window, staying out of the sun

    So we choose freedom
    Running around, trying everything new
    Not that that impresses you at all
    We never expected it to


    Don’t cry for GB Angela
    The truth is we never liked t’EU
    Even through the Blair days
    And Brown existence
    (keeping the Sterling promise)
    We kept our distance

    And as for fortune, and as for fame
    We shall invite them in
    (Though the Remainers think they will be denied)

    The EU’s an illusion
    Its not the solution they promised it to be
    The answer was here all the time
    We leave EU and it frees GB

    Don’t cry for GB Angela


    Have I said too much?
    There’s nothing more I can think of to say to EU.
    But all you have to do is look at me to know
    That every word is true

    Liked by 1 person

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