The Salt that Wasn’t

The Callous Arseholes of Spite and Hate (CASH) have declared there is far too much salt in crumpets.

I like crumpets. I doubt the salt content would be of any concern to the healthists if they saw how much butter, jam and/or golden syrup I load onto them. Anyway, I have them less than once a month, maybe two or three times a year, and I seriously doubt anyone eats them daily. The salt contents of crumpets are pretty much an irrelevance in almost everyone’s diet. You might as well whine about the saturated fat content of reindeer meat.

But read on in the article and you find they aren’t talking about salt at all. No, the culprit here is sodium bicarbonate, aka bicarbonate of soda, aka baking powder. Technically, in chemical terms, it’s ‘a salt’ but in layman’s terms it’s not ‘salt’ (sodium chloride) because it doesn’t taste salty.

So it’s not ‘salt’ they are after. It’s sodium. An essential element for a fully functioning nervous system and other metabolic things that keep you alive and conscious. You are to give up those things and leave them for the elite, they don’t want you able to think too much or move too fast.

Danish cooking uses ammonium bicarbonate. Clever really, the ammonium part becomes ammonia in cooking and goes away in the steam. Hard to get in the UK, but CynaraeStMary found it online and there’s a huge pile of cookies here as a result. I have sampled… a few   😉

CASH (apt name, isn’t it?) want to force everyone to use potassium bicarbonate instead. Because a potassium excess is exactly the same as a sodium excess and your nervous system is fucked just the same.

Actually, no.

The nervous system needs potassium and sodium and it needs them in balance. Too much of one or the other and the excess is excreted. That’s why kidneys are really useful things to have.

Too little of one or the other and there is nothing any organ in the body can do about it. The body can dump an excess but can’t replenish a shortage of an element out of thin air. That’s when nerves start failing and your brain gets fuddled and then you die. In even more pain and despair than a 500-a-day smoker with a bad case of the lumps.

CASH say salt reduction targets will fail. Of course they will fail because if they look remotely like succeeding, CASH simply start including other sodium compounds that aren’t salt. They will keep doing this until they have eliminated sodium from the diet altogether.

There will be a massive outbreak of hyponatremia and the cost to the NHS will be utterly astounding. CASH will get rich while the NHS infrastructure collapses as a result of their pronouncements.

But that’s okay. Bankrupting the NHS in a ‘good cause’ is fine.

As long as the smokers aren’t doing it.

I wonder… will we ever elect a political party that has a whole brain between them? It isn’t looking likely at the moment.


21 thoughts on “The Salt that Wasn’t

  1. I’m convinced they’re trying to kill us. When their bestest efforts fail, they’ll be sure to take drastic action, whilst saving themselves of course…

    We better be ready.


    Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: Missive from ‘Merica: Crump et Waffles – Library of Libraries

  3. What worries me most about these wretched people, and the politicians who hang on their every word, is that they will never, ever, admit that they were wrong. And that makes them dangerous. Perhaps it’s the fear of lawsuits that worries them, but they won’t even temper their “recommendations” when the evidence all around them is that people are falling sick or dying in the wake of those “recommendations”, and of the increasingly shrill demands of the whichever lobby group happens to be in most favour at the moment.

    It’s like the recent, very worrying, rise in lung cancer cases in young, fit, never-smoking people reported about six months ago. They’ve admitted that they can’t even blame it on the old stalwart, passive smoking, because these people are young enough to have grown up around ever-diminishing levels of ETS and, just as they have done so, their rate of lung cancer has increased. If it weren’t for the fact that they are just too darned stubborn to admit that they’ve been taken in and made fools of by a bunch of single-issue lobbyists, our politicians and medical professionals would be asking some of those really, really difficult questions, like, maybe – just maybe – tobacco smoke might just have been acting as a lung cancer preventative, rather than a cause, for all those years. Ditto the rise in recent years of nervous-related ailments which research has shown is markedly lower in smokers than non-smokers (Alzheimers, MND, Parkinson’s etc). Never, ever, do they dare make that connection when in fact, a simple comparison of falling smoking rates on the same chart showing the rise in these nervous-related illnesses would indicate very clearly that there’s surely a connection. Same-same for the “obesity epidemic.”

    They simply haven’t got the courage to take a deep breath, swallow their pride and say: “OK, so maybe there were some advantages to having a high number of smokers in the population.” And they’ll be exactly the same with salt. In short, they’d rather kill us all off than ever admit they were wrong.

    Liked by 1 person

    • …maybe – just maybe – tobacco smoke might just have been acting as a lung cancer preventative…

      They should be very well aware of that possibility, Jax. After all, the only statistically significant result which came out of the huge study on the effects of ETS by Boffetta et al (the one commissioned by the WHO) was that children brought up in smoking homes had less chance (somewhere in the region of 20%, if I recall) of developing lung cancer in later life.

      But of course, that was the wrong result, so the study was buried, never to see the light of day again.


      • Years ago I worked for a company called Covance, on nicotine levels in smokers, non-smokers and non-smokers who lived with smokers.

        Basically, non-smokers and non-smokers exposed to secondhand smoke are almost indistinguishable in terms of how much nicotine they have in their blood. Nicotine levels are a good proxy for total smoke exposure, hence the whole secondhand smoke thing is basically bollocks.

        Tobacco smoke isn’t good for you. Richard Doll’s work and the work of many others showed that. However, the hell-brew that is tobacco smoke is not the only pollutant out there; diesel exhaust is probably pretty nasty too, as is not exposing people to a lot of bacteria during childhood (immune system target practice).


  4. It’s all done on purpose.

    The fascist Nazi pig Castro (dead at least 6 years now) could get chocolates, pizzas, nuts, burgers, smoked bacon and salmon all the time, while “his people” rotted and starved.

    CASH want the stuff for themselves. They’ll still have proper crumpets brought in by air-taxi to their gated and fortified condominia, while we outside look on.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Immediately I read this on Twitter, I defrosted some M&S crumpets and slathered them with Morrisons Brittany butter (the one with sea salt crystals). It tasted even better than usual.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ah, that butter appeared briefly in the supermarket here about five years ago, sadly only for a few months, never to be seen again. It was delicious. I stockpiled about three kilos in the freezer, but of course that ran out only too soon. That’s the trouble here in Greece. There’s no consistency. Nearly every time I source something that I really like, they stop selling it. It’s like always picking the checkout line where the person in front has a problem that takes an age to resolve.

      Story of my life…


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