Implanted medical chips to control your blood pressure are now a real thing. On the face of it, a good thing if you have high blood pressure but it’s only the beginning.
They’ll get smaller and more functional. They’ll tell the medics when your blood pressure rises and they’ll rush round to check you’re okay. Again, not necessarily a bad thing.
However, when it gets to the administrators and politicians, they’ll want to know who’s getting worked up and when. Getting worked up will be a suspicious activity – and will identify every Daily Mail reader out there for a start.
Are you tense? Nervous? What are you hiding that’s making you nervous? Confess your sins and you will be free from tension. Nothing to hide, nothing to fear, remember? Haven’t heard that one for a while.
Otherwise, the small explosive charge fitted to your aorta during routine surgery will ensure you don’t make anyone else nervous in the future.
It’s for the greater good…
Small explosive charge? Hey, they’re ALREADY giving folks nitroglycerin!
:>
MJM
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The corollary is also true.
In bed alone and knocking one out? The longer it lasts, the more the pulses will make it feel like someone else’s hand 🙂
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As long as it doesn’t tense the hand muscles too tight. You don’t want it going numb at the end!
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I’m surprised you haven’t commented on the killer roast potatoes lurking in our ovens
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That might be the one that tips over the absurdity horizon. We have to be very close to it now.
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Could be…
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/food/article-4148292/Social-media-finds-funny-toast-cancer-scare.html
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‘Dr Guy Poppy, told the Today programme on BBC’s Radio 4: ‘What we are saying though is that if you want to have toast every day or on a regular basis, to reduce the amounts of exposure you’ll get, you’re better off eating toast of this colour, this light golden colour, rather than this dark brown.’
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They’re actually trying to make a serious health scare out of toast. The bottom of the barrel must be scraped wafer thin by now!
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Well they have too, since they shot all the fish 😉
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Is this in any way connected to what I heard about on the radio this morning? Apparently your NHS now says burnt toast is bad for you, as it may cause cancer. If I had to hear sh** like this every day, my BP would be sky high.
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I guess the argument here is/or will be…
“Well, we use machines on the outside to keep you alive. What’s wrong with a machine being inside?”
Um…this space = already occupied. Filled to capacity. No room at the inn. No room at the out. No room at the inn and out. No room at the inn if not out.
Tempo-rare-e-states-of-matter.
^The Cure – Primary^
Clever. Very very clever.
I dunno. I got not answers. /me shrugs
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Guess you’d already thought of those to go in Panoptica, old fella.
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They do a lot more in Panoptica. I did think I’d have more time before they started appearing in real life though.
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