The laws that aren’t

Many people regard the saying ‘the customer is always right’ as if it’s a law. It’s not. It’s company policy at Marks and Spencer. It applies to no other business, anywhere, unless the business chooses to implement it.

I wouldn’t recommend it. It attracts the most arrogant, self-righteous, pompous bastards to your shop where they know they can behave like spoiled brats and be pandered to. It also wrecks staff morale because if the customer is always right, then by extension the staff member they are arguing with is always wrong. High staff turnover and eternal training costs are the natural consequence.

It’s not a law, no matter how many people think it is. Any other shop can tell you to piss off and never return and there is not a damn thing you can do about it.

Via @Dick_Puddlecote on Twitter, it seems there is a non-law that says nonsmokers can’t be sold Electrofags. Oh, some bunch of self-important Public Health arseholes spent a lot of time and taxpayer’s money ‘secret shopping’ in vape shops. Will they sell it to us if we don’t smoke?


It’s a vape shop. The only customers who go inside are ones who want to buy an Electrofag. So the shopkeeper doesn’t ask if they already smoke. Indeed, they are not allowed to sell Electrofag as a stop-smoking aid so asking if the customer smokes could be seen as a violation of that rule. They are only required to check the customer is over 18. Electrofag sellers have always done that. There was never any need to force them to do it.

This ridiculous farce is no different to a vegan group secret shopping in a butcher’s and then getting all uppity because the butcher will sell meat to vegans. The butcher will sell meat to anyone who wants it. It’s a meat shop. If you don’t want meat, don’t go in there.

I’ve never been inside a New Look shop. They sell women’s clothes. I don’t want any. Should I go in and buy something then call the newspapers because they sold a bra to a man? It’s really no different to what Public Health have just done.

In all the years I’ve been smoking, I have never once been asked if I’m a smoker or non-smoker when buying baccy. Can we expect ASH and Public Health to raid Tesco and Morrison’s next, because they went in and asked for a pack of cigarettes and the retailer neglected to ask if they smoked? I think the retail response would be ‘if they don’t want to smoke them, why did they want to buy them?’

Every smoker once bought his or her first pack of cigarettes (in my case it was cigars) and every vaper once bought their first Electrofag. So now some people want to skip the smoking part and go straight to Electrofag. Well why not? Would Public Health really prefer them to start on tobacco and then switch to steam?

Honestly. Politicians listen to what these people say, you know. Unquestioningly. It’s seriously time to apply a minimum IQ to anyone wanting to stand for election because we are being led by utter cretins.

As for the medics, well, I have no faith at all in modern medicine. They used to employ intelligent medics but no longer, it seems. Now all you need to become a medic is the ability to absorb indoctrination and to shut down the analytical part of your mind in order to qualify. Where we once had medics, we now have drones. They just think what they are told to think and they diagnose based on personal prejudice rather than medicine.

If only the medics and politicians could see all the parasites stuck to them. ASH serves no purpose beyond being a new Smoker Inquisition. All the lifestyle dictators in the NHS are the reason it’s always short of medical staff and medicines. Get the parasites out, get proper doctors and nurses in, and we’ll have a damn good health service again.

Physicians, heal thyselves.

Now we are told that crisps are evil. Full of deadly things like fat and salt and… acrylamide.

Oh there’s no law on acrylamide content. There are guidelines but not a law. As for crisps, well, is there anyone out there who thinks crisps are health food? They are a snack. A small snack, a fraction of a potato in a bag. There might be a lot of fat and salt and other crap as a proportion of the weight of crisps in a bag, but the total weight really isn’t very much. Diluted by one human body, even a small one, it amounts to bugger all.

This is the same game as ‘there are 600 deadly chemicals in a cigarette’. A typical cigarette contains 0.6g of tobacco. Ignore the fact that most of it is cellulose (it’s made of leaves, I feel I have to point that out considering the level of intelligence we have to deal with in government and medicine these days) and let’s pretend it’s 0.6g of just the deadly chemicals.

Let’s also pretend there is no ash residue and nothing at all comes off as smoke.

That gives us 0.006g of each deadly chemical. The reality is far, far smaller than that. Scared? I’m not. I’m more scared of diesel fumes on a busy street – and I’m not that scared of those either. Okay, that’s partly because I live on a farm at least 11 miles from a town of any size, but I don’t feel the need to cover my face when visiting the town.

I don’t often eat crisps but when I do, I don;t worry about the salt and fat content. I’m not going to worry about acrylamide in crisps because I like the crispy bits on the outside of roast meat. I know there will be many daft sods out there who will be scared. Including every single politician and medic.

The crisp story doesn’t scare me at all because when you change the percentages into real quantities eaten, they amount to… bugger all. Just like the deadly stuff in smoke. Just like the evil thickening agent (no, idiots, it’s NOT antifreeze) that’s food grade and found in yogurts and loads of other things.

Yet again, the news is up in arms over the breaking of a law that isn’t. The idea behind it all, of course, is to make it law. The general zombie population won’t even notice because they already thought it was a law.

And, once vape shops have to check if you’re a smoker before they sell you Electrofag, Tesco will have to check if you’re a smoker before they sell you any tobacco. Having watched how these evil bastards work for decades, their next logical step isn’t hard to work out.

Then you won’t be able to buy drink unless you can prove you’re a drinker… and so on. They can’t stop us so they’ll kill us off by attrition. Nonsmokers will never be able to take up smoking or vaping, nondrinkers will never be able to buy booze. I know, I can feel the shrugs now. If you don’t smoke and/or drink now, why would you?

I’m not talking about you. I’m talking about those currently growing up who might be looking forward to turning 18 so they can try these things. In the future the only way they’ll get to try them will be to buy totally unregulated stuff from criminal gangs.

Won’t happen? Public Health and ASH and the rest of the nannies will tell you it won’t happen.

Like it didn’t happen when heroin and cocaine were made illegal…

Basically, in the future, all your kids are fucked. You think the Righteous care?

They’re doing it on purpose.

11 thoughts on “The laws that aren’t

  1. Ignoring dual users just for the moment, surely if a person has switched to vaping instead of smoking then from that point on (as the more zealous amongst them can’t seem to stop telling us) they are de facto non-smokers. Thus, this industry standard is effectively instructing its own producers to only ever sell one e-cigarette to any one customer – just the once. That’s almost as daft as this barrel-scraping, slightly pathetic attention-seeking little “investigation” itself. Interesting, though, that the worm that is ASH – hitherto mildly supportive of e-cigarettes – seems to have turned rather sooner than predicted on here and elsewhere. Vapers around the world, repeat after me, and inwardly digest: “Tobacco Control is not your friend. Tobacco Control is not your friend. Tobacco Control is not …” Got it?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. The physicians’ rot starts in the medical schools where, in my opinion, curiosity and sleuthing are stamped out and medical text books and NICE (not nice) rule. Tests are rationed and anomalies ignored. Pretty soon anyone with health issues that don’t fit the flow chart will be diagnosed with MUS (medically unexplained symptoms) and sent off for reprogramming via CBT, unless they happen to die first. You may think I am joking but pilots are already underway.

    Really sad that Anna has had such an awful experience in hospital but pleased that she still has her fighting spirit.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’ve said this somewhere before, but a few years ago I had a client who was a recently retired GP. I had several conversations with him on the topic of smoking, and one of the first things he said was that the whole concept of SHS made absolutely no sense at all, medically. I made very clear my stance on the ‘science’ behind anti-smoking, and emailed him a few links pertinent to our conversations.

      To his credit, he actually read them, and when I saw him next he thanked me for the links and said that when he was in medical school, they were always going on about smoking being the cause of just about everything, which he cocked a slightly cynical eye at (this would have been in the late 1960s), and that having read the links I sent him, he was beginning to see why the med students were being indoctrinated as they were.

      He was, I might add, a light smoker himself – he said about 5 RYO per day. Hence, I suppose, his more open minded approach.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. OK, so…you’ve expressed an interest, so here is my idea…

    “Drug Sampler”

    Picture the usual four white walls, white floor, white ceiling, one door, brightly lit type of room, cot, chair, and perhaps a small desk…as it normally relates to our views of standardized testing. Now, think plural with respect to “Drug Sampler”…since that is what sampling is all about. But since we are thinking in the vein of someone doing this as a profession…that means commerce, and commerce means business, business means multithreading with respect to revenue streams, so yeah…”Drug Sampler” becomes “Drugs Sampler.” Eventually, that will become drug samplers and drugs samplers….assuming all goes well. 😉

    Scientist walks into said room where our “Drugs Sampler” is currently living, through the one door in the room.
    “Drugs Sampler” is nowhere to be found, which stops the scientist in his/her tracks.
    As scientist looks around in disbelief, they notice that not only is “Drugs Sampler” missing, all of the furniture is gone as well.
    As the disbelief starts to churn the cogs of options/possibility, a thought of “OH MY GOD! HE’S GONE INVISIBLE!!!”..creeps into the head of the scientist as they simultaneously begin to plan and expedite their retreat from the room.
    However, as the frozen muscles and bones and cogs within the scientist’s body start to agree with the brain’s conclusion that evacuation post-haste is of the utmost importance, the heart seems to agree, and provides MORE than an ample surplus of it’s own sudden desire to keep pumping, as well as provide the necessary appendages ALL THE MOTHERFUCKING SUPPORT YOU NEED FROM ME AND MORE!!! … … …
    … … …the brain throws a wrench into the works via the ears, as a voice, not the scientists, is suddenly heard…”What do you have for me today?”

    It’s at this point in our pointless little tale, that the heart provides a wrench of it’s own, as it has had a sudden change of heart, and decided that in no longer wants to exist at all, on any level, ever again, and somehow…I’ve played a role in making someone somehow turn invisible.

    However, the eyes, at the behest of the directional variances detected within the ears, try and “zero in” on the source of this variance amongst nothing and nothingness…which directs them upwards towards the ceiling.

    The brain somehow manages to reel the eyeballs in, in order to keep them from dislodging from the head completely…as…”I GOTTA SEE THIS SHIT!!!!”

    A sudden chorus of agreement resonates through the scientists body in agreement with the brain, and the scientist does the classic “double-take” type of look, as it sets in that our “Dugs Tester” is currently seated upside down on the ceiling, and has somehow moved the furniture up there as well. They are seated peacefully, looking directly at the scientist, but not in an accusatory, nor spiteful fashion. Almost as if our “Drug Tester” had already had plenty of time to think about and contemplate this moment, and now it is happening. Further to add that perhaps they have had time to contemplate many things leading up to this moment with respect to this moment, and is doing their best to live in that moment as best as they can considering the circumstances.

    DT: “What do you have for me today? Do you have anything for me today?”
    Scientist: “I’d say that you’ve had ENOUGH!!!”

    Scientist retreats from room, closes door behind…THE END.

    Liked by 1 person

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