So, Tessie May won the election, sort of, by losing a hell of a lot of seats. The Tories gained 12 seats in Scotland but lost so many elsewhere that they are, basically, screwed.
Jezza thinks he’s won even though he has fewer MPs than the Tories. I’m guessing Diane Abbot explained the relative numbers to him. Sorry, Corbers, you lost. Gaining seats was impressive but you didn’t gain enough to win. The fact that you have more than you did, and the Tories have less than they did, doesn’t change the fact that they still have more than you.
I wonder if Tessie will learn anything from this, other than how to sign on at a dole office? She says she intends to stay on for five years but Tories are ruthless about removing failed leaders. The EU is really looking forward to Brexit talks now and they expect to wipe the floor with Tessie’s minority government.
Labour could help. Corbyn is in favour of a soft Brexit so could help with negotiations but will he? Will he venture into enemy territory with an offer of cooperation? I don’t see it happening.
The SNP can’t help, even if Corbyn was willing to go into a coalition – which he’s not. They were well slapped down at this election. Oily Al is out of office and his Mini-Me, Nicky ‘FREEDOM’ the Fish is likely to lose the leadership. It can’t even go to the deputy leader. He’s been voted out too. Oh dear.
UKIP are gone, and so is their leader. Well, dumping smoker support was one of the reasons. We didn’t have anyone else to vote for and now there’s nobody. So we just vote to cause trouble now. None of the parties like us anyway, we might as well just stir the shit.
This constituency turned Tory, as did the surrounding ones. The North-East of Scotland is a sea of blue surrounding a tiny SNP island in Aberdeen North. Which is not surprising, it’s where Aberdeen puts all the benefit monkeys. Burberry is big there, as is violence and shouting and general dickiness. If you ever visit Tillydrone, don’t go alone and don’t go at night. The steel mesh on the shop windows should clue you in.
Aberdeen North also contains Aberdeen University. A big student Leftie vote for the taking.
The Greens still have Caroline Lucas, returned with a much increased majority because the voters of Brighton Pavilion really have nobody else to vote for. Nobody wants to go there.
The Lib Dems… I still don’t see what that party is for.
So we are left with a Tory mini-government which the Loser Left have been out protesting about already. The only party the Tories can legitimately link to is the DUP, the political remnant of the Protestant version of the IRA from Northern Ireland. A hard line religious group who are anti-abortion, anti-gay marriage (probably anti-gay but I can’t confirm that) and generally Puritan.
The DUP aren’t interested in coalition which is good, we wouldn’t want them in the Cabinet. They are prepared to support the bits they like of Tory legislation and that’s it. Really, they still hate the IRA and Corbyn is on record as an IRA supporter so that’s their real motivation here.
What does the UK government look like now?
In the red corner… Tessie May, Disappointment. With a bunch of Christian hard liners who want to ban gay marriage, prevent all abortions for any reason and generally make everyone follow their worldview. Oh, and links to terrorist activities.
In the blue corner… Jeremy Corbyn, Delusional. With a bunch of Islamic hard liners who want to kill gays, oppress women and generally make everyone follow their worldview. Oh, and links to terrorist activities.
Not a great choice, I think you’ll agree.
However, when you sit back and look at it, it looks less like politics and more like the squaring up of armies for battle. The Left have already taken to the streets to start the fight.
Add into the mix America’s Democrats and their open warfare on Trump, and then add in the Middle East’s isolation of Qatar and the ISIS attack on Iran’s government…
It doesn’t look like a bright and cheery future, does it?
Okay, if the Middle East gets all nasty, the sensible thing would be for Western governments to stay well out of it. You know they won’t. They can’t resist a good fight. In the UK the Tories and Labour will take opposite sides in any conflict and that will soon spill on to the streets.
The same thing will happen in America.
Russia and China will, of course, be preparing for all this.
They’ll be stockpiling popcorn…
underdogs bite upwards 
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You need one of these; a New Age Bullshit Generator
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Fun though….
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It’s like newspaper astrology! Complete bollocks that fits anyone.
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That New Age BS Generator would be PERFECT here in America when the Senate is running a filibuster and long-winded politicians stand there for hours reading pages from the dictionary etc. They could actually have some FUN reading these aloud for the Congressional Record!
:>
MJM
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Well since what politicians say makes no sense anyway, it might as well be funny 😀
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Exactly.
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Well, there won’t be any binge legislation, so that’s a bonus…
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“The DUP aren’t interested in coalition which is good, we wouldn’t want them in the Cabinet.”
Speak for yourself! Ten cabinet places, incl. PM would suit me. Their core beliefs were once shared by the vast majority of people in the dim and distant one generation ago. I understand that they are also manmade climate change sceptics. I don’t hold with their theology exactly, although I have been to several services of the Free Presb. Church of Ulster and met the Big Man himself: the Rev. Ian Big Man.
I nobbled him in the kitchen after the service and asked him what he thought about manmade climate change and that set him off on one. It was around the time when proper light bulbs were being phased out and he thought that it was idiotic.
But for those who like babies being dismembered in their mother’s womb and Hoovered out and for young children to be asked what gender they want to be today, people are free to vote accordingly.
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They are currently upsetting all the right people, so, there’s that….
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And long may they do so! I hope they don’t fold like a cheap suit in exchange for the pretence of ‘power’. Two words for the DUP to remember if they feel like selling out: Lib and Dems.
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You actually met Shouty Ian? That’s a claim to fame!
But no, while I don’t care about shirtlifter marriage and have never been in a position to worry about abortion, the pragmatic view is that the noisy minority will cause endless problems if those things were suddenly outlawed. Abrupt changes cause riots and can bring down governments, and with Brexit ongoing that’s not a good thing.
As Thylacosmilus said, they are annoying the Righteous, so that gets them my support no matter what they believe 🙂
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Yes, I met him a few years before he died. He was over the water here at a service to install a new minister. He was quite old and past Peak Shoutiness, but still had fire in his belly and seemed to enjoy people’s company after the service.
Whatever one thinks of him, as well as being the leader of his church, I believe he was simultaneously an MLP at Stormont, an MP and an MEP.
Your other point reminds me of my deposed despotic (allegedly – he is a lawyer) MP. He told me that he was against abortion, so I asked him to help me make it illegal in Scotland. He replied by saying that he didn’t want to do anything that might put off people voting SNP and ‘Independence’.
I don’t think it is wise to compromise on morals to achieve political objectives (we’ve just seen the SNP collapse to 37% of the vote regardless). If there is still a moral majority cowering under the quilt, they have to make themselves heard, or, frankly, let them stay in the EU and I will emigrate somewhere more sane, which is most of the world.
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He always impressed me. I didn’t agree with him much but he stuck to his convictions and was never swayed.
Unlike pretty much every other politician we have now.
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True; people knew what they were voting for. Something else to bear in mind on the previous topic is that the 8-10 million? smokers in the UK seem to have, with a few exceptions, continued to vote for the parties which persecute them.
Threatening to take away their houses to pay for “care” is obviously a different kettle of fish, but then, when you deliberately want to lose an election, what could you say that’s more effective?
The DUP’s Facebook page is under siege from woofters who seem to think that the Tory’s deal spells the end of Western ‘civilisation’. If this is civilisation then let’s hope they’re right.
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There are only 10 DUP MPs. They really aren’t going to have much effect.
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To normal people, that’s a realistic assessment, but the DUP’s effect so far has been substantial on certain members of society – i.e. the ‘inclusive, progressive, equality’ bunch of hopers-not-haters who love everyone as long as they agree with and approve of everything they say, do and believe. If you don’t, you’re a racist, Nazi, bigot, who is a throwback to the ‘Dark Ages’ (etc.).
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If it was a choice, I would pick the DUP. At least they are a morality party, even if a bit bigoted. Ah, sod it. Give a a fasces every time. Carthago delenda est. Vi magnae. Vi et armis. Roma victor.
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They are the only ones who aren’t pure Socialist. And the Brown Gorgon wanted to coalesce with them when he lost too. Ten MPs can be enough to be kingmaker in this screwed up democracy…
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Bit of culture shock in the tory front benches, having ten rare old school conservatives snapping at their heels.
May and her disciples tried their best to lose the election, presumably so Brexit could fail without her/them getting the blame, is this the worse result possible for her i wonder, the tories clutching onto power only because some genuine no nonsense conservatives hold them to account, the irony is strong in this scene Obiwan.
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Yes, it does look like nobody wants to be in charge now. They know something is coming and nobody wants to get the blame.
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The problem is that the wrong lesson has been taught by this entire debacle. Ms May was quitely competent and trusted the electorate to choose quiet competence over a burbling, rambling idiot. Unfortunately a large proportion of the electorate see politics as a shouting match, and refusing to debate with a known plonker is seen as cowardice.
The Tory Party has undoubtedly learned from this that a rapid-fire wit with a heck of a mouth on him is what is needed for politics. Unfortunately this will put Boris Johnson right at the front as the leading foil against Corbyn.
Seriously though, what on earth was May thinking of, choosing not to go up against Jezza? A TV interview needs rapid soundbites, and rapid facts and figures. These can be force-learned in the few days up to a debate, so that the interviewee has everything needful in their head or on a crib-sheet on their desk.
So, with one side of the debate cooperating with what TV wants and giving quick-fire, concise responses to questions and rarely seeming at a loss, we then move to Jezza the incredible drone. If he performed true to form, then fairly quickly the interviewer would be shouting him down and cutting off the monotonous bore-a-thons. That is tremendously off-puuting to someone who cannot speak in soundbites, and once rattled, they stay rattled and get worse. On TV, that looks like a bumbing idiot who doesn’t know what they’re talking about.
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The news also seems to gloss over the result in Scotland. There’s a hell of a lot of blue on the map here now!
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