It used to be a Heinz slogan. I never knew what the other 56 were and really wasn’t much interested in finding out. I only remember the beans and the TV bean ads with the little fat wizard. ‘Beanz Meanz Fartz’ or something.
Naturally, all that has nothing to do with the subject of the post but if you’ve been here more than once before you already knew that. This isn’t about beans. It’s about sex. Beans and sex don’t really mix unless you are into something very kinky that I’d prefer not to know about, or you like that bit of extra turbo boost in your thrust, or part of your foreplay involves an eye-watering Dutch oven… we’ll stop there I think.
These days, ‘gender’ has joined the long list of clearly defined words misused for political purposes. Let’s clear that one up.
I have every qualification in biology you can think of, right up to PhD and I even have a CSE in it (for which I didn’t even take an exam – yes, weird stuff started early for me). Trust me on this, there are two genders. Male and female. If you are human you are one or the other.
If you are a gay male who prefers other males, you are still male. I know, 99% of the gay males out there are saying ‘Well duh’ and 99% of gay females are just waiting for their turn to say ‘Well duh’ too. You can extrapolate. I don’t need to bother. Gayness is a sexual orientation. It does not change your biological gender.
Neither does bisexuality. I am a straight white male so I fully expect to be utterly lambasted on Twitter for this post but, well, I’ll let you all know if I start to care. Facts are not altered by shouting at them. This is not ‘Dune’, you do not bring down solid rock with magic words.
Okay, so far we aren’t getting controversial. So let’s up the ante.
If you’re a man who shags sheep your gender is not pansexual, you are male and probably more than a little bit strange. If you’re a woman who likes her bits licked by her pet dog (I am assured this happens but I will not be investigating further) your gender is not caninosexual, you are female and just as strange as the sheep guy. But hey, I am not judging you. Just don’t expect me to spend a lot of time around you.
Transvestites. Not a gender. A liking for wearing clothes that society has decided belong to the other gender. Absolutely nothing wrong with that, wear what you like. I live in Scotland where the sight of a man in a kilt is nothing unusual. I’ve worn one myself. In some countries ‘male’ clothing is a long robe or ‘dress’. It does not matter at all. But it’s not a new gender. It’s just clothes.
The ridiculous idea of ‘gender fluidity’ is behind all this. Multiculturalism for the gonads. You have one set or the other. Two genders. Nature is not ‘fluid’ on this point. What you choose to do with them, well that’s up to you. But you do not have gender fluidity. It is not biologically possible.
Then there are transsexuals. Those who are born one gender but feel, inside, that they should be the other gender. Medical science can change your gender now but that does not increase the number of genders. Transsexual is not a new gender. You are gender 1 and you want to be gender 2. Still two genders.
Hermaphrodites want to be a third gender too. Nope, sorry guy/gals. You have elements of both genders but there are still only two genders. You have the bits for both. That does not make you a different gender. You’re human and either lucky or unlucky depending on your point of view but you aren’t the start of a new species.
If this all sounds harsh it’s not because I’m being hateful and intolerant. I’m not. I don’t hate anyone because of their body image, body shape or sexual preference. I don’t care what you do behind closed doors and I won’t ask about it. I’d prefer you didn’t shove it in my face and if you do, we probably won’t meet again. That’s all though. I won’t go on Twitter and demand you accept me as I am and conform to my way of life, nor will I bad-mouth your preferences in any way. They are your business, not mine. Let’s keep it that way.
If I still sound harsh the problem is not me, it’s you. You have become soft and weak and unable to grasp simple facts. There are two biological genders. You are one or the other. You can switch using surgery but there are still only two genders. There is no third gender.
Oh, you are oppressed, are you? Up into the 1960s you could spend time in jail for being gay in the UK. It was illegal! We are not talking unknown ‘poor gay people’ either. Oscar Wilde went to jail for being gay. Alan Turing, the man who decoded the Nazi Enigma code machine and played a big part in winning WWII, was later shat on by the authorities just because he was gay. Was that fair? Hell no, but it happened anyway.
Today you have a flag as if you are an independent nation and you have Pride marches where you can wave those flags, and police and fire services will repaint their transport in your flag’s colours while they moan about being underfunded. If you had held that march in 1960 the police would have been rounding you up.
You really call that ‘oppression’? I wish I could send you back to talk to the gay people in Hitler’s Germany, but even if I could you’d have found them in a mass grave, gassed to death. Pity, I’m sure they would have loved to hear how oppressed you are now.
If you had been transsexual only a few decades ago (and it is not a new phenomenon) you would not have dared speak out. You would have been sectioned for it and you know it. Now you can get the change on the NHS. And yet you are still ‘oppressed’.
Oh come on. Get over yourselves. You don’t have to publicise every aspect of your life like a damn Kardashian. Okay, you are different. I get it. Okay, you are not like me. I accept it. Accept this.
I. Don’t. Care.
I don’t care if you want to live in a different way to me. It would be boring if everyone was the same. Live any way you choose and if you want to live as the opposite gender, or become the opposite gender, I have no issue with that at all. But don’t tell me you are oppressed when you are able to do those things. Oppression means you aren’t able to do those things or are imprisoned or killed just for wanting to do them. You are not oppressed.
Yes, there are some people who will hate you for what you are and for the way you live. Guess what? That happens to everyone. It happens to me too. It’ll probably happen to me again once I hit ‘publish’ on this but do I cry ‘oppression’? No. The ‘oppressed’ are likely to try to shout me down while claiming they are the victims. That actually makes me laugh. A lot. Especially as most of them will start their tantrums before reading this far.
But don’t piss around with biology. There are two genders and they are fixed, not fluid. Male and female. There might be 57 different sexual orientations but there are no more than two genders.
Now, let the outrage commence…