In conversation with @RooBeeDoo1 on Twitter, she made an interesting point. With the threat of imminent nuclear war, why does anyone give a shit about smoking/drinking/salt/fat/sugar or anything else?
Nuclear war is the ultimate equality machine. It doesn’t matter what colour or creed you are when we can each fit into an ashtray as identical piles of glowing grey dust.
Currently, Donnie Trumpton and Kim Wrong-Un are indulging in a session of nuclear powered willie-waving that is escalating rapidly. Kim Wrong-Un is likely to fire the first shot. It’ll probably be over some hairstyle insult or something equally trivial. I don’t think Trump is nuts enough to fire first (Wrong-Un definitely is) but I’m sure that first shot will be followed by a hell of a lot of return shots.
It’ll be the first time in many years that North Korea will be lit up at night.
What then? Well, China and Russia won’t like having a luminous neighbour on their border. And then there’s fallout from any nuclear explosion, which can travel quite some distance on the wind.
If Kim Wrong-Un lands a nuclear bomb halfway up the west coast of America, the fallout will spread over America and probably mostly out into the Pacific. It’s unlikely to involve Canada or Mexico at all.
If Trump lands a nuclear bomb on Pyongyang – there really isn’t much else worth aiming at – the fallout is going to piss off a lot of other countries.They might not become direct allies of the Land of Kimfusion but they aren’t going to be that friendly to America either.
And picking a fight with China and/or Russia has never been a good idea. Pakistan and India aren’t far away and they have nuclear weapons too.
The big concern, as I see it, is not that Kim Wrong-un will start a war – he probably will, he’s nuts enough to think there’ll be a bit of his country left afterwards. No, the big concern is how Donnie Trumpton reacts. If his country is hit with one nuclear bomb, will he respond with ‘Call that a bomb? THIS is a bomb. So is this and this and this’.
He doesn’t need to use nuclear. Most of the people of that country would love to be taken over by capitalists. Or communists. Or even Islam. Any of those would be a vast improvement over what they have now.
I think a lot of the military would be happy to be captured. They can’t just down weapons and not fight because the bowl-haircut in charge will have their families killed. Heck, he does that to people who merely look at his style of government and say ‘Hang on a minute…’
Basically, the only real enemy in that country is Kim Wrong-Un himself. Everyone else, including most of his government, would love to see him erased. He thinks he has support and I’m sure he has a few but really he’s in charge because of layers of terror laid down by his grandfather, then by his father.
Kim Wrong-Un, in reality, nobody likes you at all. They’re all just scared and it only works because you have petty people who love to report other people and nobody can be sure who they are. They worship you because you’ll have them and their families killed if they don’t. No other reason. It’s not loyalty.
Nobody in North Korea knows who they can trust. It’s Orwell’s 1984 in action. Your brother might turn you in to save himself. So everyone has to be very, very careful. The slightest doubt in the regime can get you imprisoned or killed. People have been publicly executed for making international phone calls or watching a Hollywood movie.
Nuke them, and they might rally behind their flag. Invade and they might welcome you.
At the moment, the North Korean soldier fights because his family are at risk from his own leader if he doesn’t. The American soldier fights for flag and country. Not for the President, so don’t think they are bowing to Trump or to Obama or any other president. There is a big difference in motivation there.
Of course it’s not that simple. If America invades, China and Russia will not want an American base on their doorstep. They might resist, not to save Wrong-un but to defend their borders. Wrong-un will see it as support for his regime but they don’t care about him. They just don’t want Patriot missiles that close.
So a ground invasion might not be such a good idea either.
Trump is in a very difficult place. Nukes will piss off every country around North Korea, a ground invasion will worry Russia and China. There are only two real options.
A targeted strike to take out Kim Wrong-Un and his inner cabal, or…
Get China to deal with it. Russia won’t touch it and the North Koreans are more likely to welcome a Chinese takeover than anyone else.
So far, China doesn’t seem interested.
Which is unfortunate. With a few tanks and well-aimed missiles, they could stop World War Three before it starts.
Even so, with all this going on, why are Western governments obsessed with smoking, vaping etc?
Smoke ’em if you got ’em. You might not have to worry about any long term effects.