On the twelfth day of Christmas I took to bed with me…
Twelve wankers wanking
Eleven luscious lezzies
Ten tattered testes
Nine knackered nipples
Eight aching arseholes
Seven septic spunkbags
Six convicted vicars
Four boy scouts
Three French whores
Two shithouse doors
And the Lord Montague of Beaulieu
That’s it. I’ve remembered that from about 1976 and it’s hopefully in all your heads now.
The twelve days of Christmas is finished. Time to take the decorations down and put them away until next year.
We can now return to our regular program. Mainly, whisky and tobacco.