I have become a grandfather.

Congratulations are not really necessary, I had nothing to do with it – I did my part 30 years ago.

Well, I already have several pipes and several walking sticks (the one with a skull on top is likely to be favourite). I have a trilby, of course, but have lost my flat cap. Must get another.

I still have to source a bag of Werther’s Originals and a cardigan with leather elbows.

I hope this doesn’t mean I now have to drive everywhere at 20 miles an hour, hunched over the wheel and peering through classes that look like the ends of milk bottles.

Anyway, that’s one grandchild for me. Hopefully the first of many.

It’s a girl, by the way – but I will not be covering her in pink fluffyness. I have already begun explaining the classification system for steam engines and will soon move on to diesel wheel arrangements so she will be able to correctly differentiate between Co-Co and A1A-A1A. She’ll be able to stun a train geek into silence on any railway platform.

There is no reason why girls shouldn’t learn about archery, wood chopping, engine maintenance and repair and how to swing a scythe or extract a splinter.

This is going to be great, especially since I can pass her back to her parents whenever she needs a nappy change.

It might slow the publishing work for a few days but I’ll soon get it back to speed. She’ll be mostly sleeping and eating at first. She should make the most of this time, it’s the easiest part of life.

Well, now you can officially call me old…

22 thoughts on “Ageing…

  1. There is no reason why girls shouldn’t learn about archery, wood chopping, engine maintenance and repair and how to swing a scythe or extract a splinter

    Essential knowledge I’d have thought. My Grandad had a wonderful shed full of dangerous stuff and a well used tree stump set in concrete in the middle of the floor, he didn’t teach me but he did teach my Mum who passed the knowledge on.

    As he didn’t have a car, we didn’t get the engine maintenance lessons which is a pity.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Pingback: Puff Piece – Library of Libraries

  3. Ah, immortality beckons. Genetic immortality, anyway. I’ve got five so far, and my youngest hasn’t started yet. Oh yes, grandchildren are much easier than your own children. You can buy them tin drums for Christmas and bug catchers for their birthdays, secure in the knowledge that you won’t have to suffer the aftermath. And as an added bonus, you get a bit of payback for all those sleepless nights. Revenge is sweet! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Congratulations! Just be prepared for the lefty nonsense the little mite comes home with as soon as she is in the system. Also all those special little treats of grandparents, sweets, late bedtimes, gone for some of us. Hoping yours has stood up for normality.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. We have two of the little bugg…..angels, boys, different as chalk and cheese, but very promising in their own ways. Unconditional love is the duty of grandparents; do everything you can for her education, if you can’t keep her a safe distance from the State at least educate her to view it with eternal distrust.

    Liked by 1 person

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