Boycott Suicide

It’s all the rage now. Boycott this or that because they are connected, sometimes tenuously, with something or someone who is the current focus of today’s Two Minute Hate.

I’ve been feeling a bit left out. Everyone is boycotting things I’ve never bought anyway so I can’t join in.

Not that I would anyway. I can’t be bothered with boycotts, other than personal ones. The ones where I get shitty service in a business and simply go elsewhere. I’ve never demanded anyone else boycott that business. Maybe I was the only one to get shitty service. Maybe most people are happy with shitty service. I strike them off my list of shopping places and move on. Life is too short to get involved in organised boycotts and silly vendettas.

I’m not talking about the supposed ‘boycotts’ of reduced-sugar fizzy pop or breakfast cereals. People have stopped buying them because the new taste is awful, not because of any organised boycott.

I have also not boycotted pubs. I rarely visit since the smoking ban but it’s not a boycott. I just don’t feel welcome in them any more. It’s no longer an enjoyable experience so I don’t go there.

This has been made worse by the Spiteful Nannying Puritans of the Scottish government and their recent lowering of the alcohol limit for driving to where one beer puts you over the limit. The local pub is two miles away. I could take a 40-minute walk to a place I can’t smoke with my drink, or drive to a pub in which I can now neither smoke nor drink. What would be the point? The same drive takes me to Local Shop where I can buy a bottle of whisky, drive home, and then drink and smoke indoors in comfort.

The real boycotts are coming from howling Twatter/Farcebok mobs. None of them work and most seem to have the opposite effect to that intended. A recent one involved an American burger takeaway called ‘In and Out’ or some such. Sounds more like a brothel name to me but we don’t have that company in the UK so I couldn’t have boycotted them anyway. Apparently business has boomed since they got all that free Twitter advertising. They are now out of the shadow of MacDonald’s and the other really big franchises. Boycott? They’re lovin’ it.

I can’t remember what that boycott was about. It was, most likely, something very trivial. They usually are.

There was a call to boycott Amazon some time ago. Well I’m not going to do that. They sell Leg Iron Books! Boycott my biggest outlet? That would be as much of a commercial suicide as, say, Lucozade selling energy drinks in which they have reduced the sugar – the primary source of energy in the drink. It would be a stupid thing to do.

Incidentally, I have noticed some so called ‘energy’ drinks describing themselves as such, then boasting that the can of chemical fizz is sugar free and calorie free. So there is no energy in there at all. It’s just chemical fizz with caffeine. It’ll keep you awake and tired. I fail to see the advantage in this.

Back to Amazon. I live about 15 miles from the nearest town that’s big enough to have an Aldi and Tesco. Two miles away is Local Shop and it’s actually called that. Prices in there are not sky high. They are quite reasonable. Also they have cut price whisky sometimes and I’ve become quite partial to a drop of Glen Keith whenever they have it at £20 instead of £30. It’s one of the few places I’ve seen Glen Garioch on the shelves too. They don’t have a big range… of anything. It’s a small shop. You can’t really stock up your kitchen there without emptying their shelves.

Actually, as long as the bridge is out, Local Shop is 8 miles away along single track farm roads at harvest time, which is very inconvenient as it’s also the post office.

So if I need something that’s not stocked by Aldi or Tesco, I can drive all the way to Aberdeen (nightmare!) or I can bring up Amazon on the browser, click ‘buy’ and it’s delivered to my door. I don’t care what they’ve done to upset the perpetually offended. I am not boycotting them.

The most recent boycott involves some football bloke with big hair called Colin Kapplenapple or something like that. I wasn’t really paying attention. Seems he got fired from football for being useless and a pain in the arse, and lots of Americans despise him. So Nike, the sports mob, have taken him on to advertise shoes. Now, lots of Americans want to boycott Nike. I may be a bit sketchy on the details because I don’t actually give a shit. I don’t know anything about American football (it’s a bit like rugby for girls, I think), I’ve never bought anything by Nike and I have no interest in any sport that involves no sharp objects.

The bit that got my attention was all the idiots on Twitter videoing themselves burning their Nike shoes. What is that about? You do not hurt a shoe company by buying shoes from them and then burning the shoes. You still have no bloody shoes, have you? So now you have to go and buy more shoes. The shoe company doesn’t care. They have the money you gave them for the shoes. So you burned the shoes. You cannot cost them a sale by reselling yours.

If you don’t want your Nike shoes any more, give them to the homeless. They don’t care about fashion or politics or boycotts. Trust me on that, I’ve been there. You would wear Lady Gaga’s goat-hoof shoes if that was all you had.

I wonder if I can convince these maniacs to burn books. Get them to buy all the books I publish and burn them all. That would be fantastic. I’d get paid, the authors would get paid, and those books won’t be floating around the second hand shops cutting down sales of new ones.

The best part is they are all print on demand. Keep buying them and we keep printing them. And getting paid.

We make more per sale on the eBooks. Are there people stupid enough to buy fifty copies of an eBook and then burn their Kindle? There has to be at least one out there.

The search begins.

14 thoughts on “Boycott Suicide

  1. I think the dude was the first to disrespect the US anthem at football matches, kicking off the movement. Now nobody wants him on their team. Apart from Nike, it seems.

    Liked by 2 people

    • The UK (and especially me, Welsh) find it hard to comprehend the outrage. Burn our flag, well, you bought it, burn it if you like, we’ll sell you as many as you want to burn.

      Disrespect the anthem, you’re a twat, we will never respect your opinion and there it ends.

      Americans take these things far more seriously. It’s probably a rebel colonist thing 😉

      Liked by 3 people

    • I think Soros is “Sauron” disguised as a toad that has eaten something that disagreed with his intestines. On my facebook I always now refer to “George Sauron”. I hope the meme is catching on…slowly. The Mills of God grind Slowly, but they Grind Sure.

      Liked by 2 people

    • Well, yes, a lot of successful businessmen are utter bastards but unlike Soros, most of them have no plan for ‘one world government’ and aren’t meddling in countries’ affairs.

      Well, maybe messing with the tax rules to avoid paying but we’d all love to be able to do that.

      It comes down to this. Today we needed a better Wifi receiver for one of the computers (the perils of an 18 inch thick internal granite wall). I ordered it in the early hours of Saturday morning and it’ll be delivered to the door on Sunday. Yes, they even deliver on a Sunday.

      Jeff Bezos is likely to be someone I don’t want to associate with socially. Most of the big names are likely to be the same. He has, however, built a very efficient business machine and I’m happy to take advantage of that.

      Especially here, way out of civilisation… and with that bridge still out, I don’t even have convenient access to a post office now.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I love your comment about Lucozade and other energy drinks trying their hardest not to provide energy. When I was a child Lucozade was a pick me up for those recovering from the dreaded flu, colds and other ‘evil’ viruses. Now it seems to be a sports drink. As if you can play squash for example with a stomach full of fizzy liquid. Bonkers, but not as bonkers as a calorie-free energy drink. Have you pointed this out to them? There are far too many naked Emperors about these days.

    Liked by 3 people

    • When I worked in 1976 as an “assistant brand manager” in Beecham Foods Ltd, and we manufactured Lucozade, the objective of a territory-salesman (driving a Hillman Avenger) was to sell into” any shop, at least 10 cases (dozens) of 2-pint bottles of Lucozade, to every shop he visited. You were expected to be able to “get in 10 cases of Lucozade” wherever you went. It was part of your “monthly target”. Now and then you’d get 200 cases into Tesco in Slough High Street, and you’d then – with the others – be sorted for a week! The selling point was the sugar (mainly glucose, plus some fructose) to help children get better when ill. In tha same year, we were fingered by the Callaghan govt, to tone things down, and say (instead of “Lucozade Aids recovery”), “Lucozade has been suggested by doctors as being possibly able to aid the feeling of recovery”. As what they called “a slogan”…I leave it at that.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Dear Mr Davis

        I wonder if the reason for that nice Mr Callaghan’s response was something to do with the AIDS epidemic which may have been all the rage about then.

        After all, if that nice Mr Wilson thought enough people thought that devaluation meant that each of your nice crisp pound notes was worth only 90 pee, or 18 bob, or whatever the devaluation rate was, our then beloved government probably thought there were enough people out there who would think that Lucozade does actually help with AIDS.

        They did have a campaign titled ‘Don’t die of ignorance’, which had adverse effects on a great many of the less knowledgeable school children at the time.

        Just a thought.

        DP

        Liked by 1 person

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