The terror!

Apologies for being uncommunicative. It is Granddaughter’s first birthday so I have been the typical Grandad who buys no sensible presents. I have also been finalising ‘Norman’s House’ with the help of Roobeedoo and CStM and one other and it will be on time, as promised, for release in under a week. Also, I have been getting to grips with marketing. Why anyone voluntarily does that job is a mystery.

Dry January has ended and I made it through. I did it. I succeeded in having a drink every single day for the whole month. I also got right through Veganuary with similar success, aided by bacon and eggs and Danish cooking and cheap meat paste. Now I wait to see what silly, petty, pointless fad I have to defy for Fuckituary.

In between I have made rare visits to Quora. My latest visit was the perfect chance to inject terror into both the antimokers and the followers of the Green God at the same time.

Yes, that’s me, but if you’ve at all followed my books you already knew that.

All I did was tell the truth. That is enough to terrify them now. I used to have to make stuff up, like when I told some poor woman that all grey dust was cigarette ash that had been building for four hundred years and never decays. Actually, the ‘never decays’ part wasn’t my invention. The antismokers had already convinced their drones of that part. I just embellished it.

I don’t have to make anything up any more. Reality is now officially more terrifying than fiction to these people. It’s so, so easy now.

I have a feeling it’s going to get even easier.