Endgame

The Amazing Occasional Cortex is the best thing to happen to American politics. Her entertainment value trumps even Trump. I hear the senior Democrats plan to get rid of her ASAP because she’s too dim even for a career in politics. And she’s giving away the game.

She’s also quite pretty when she’s not doing the bulging eyes and catfish mouth thing. Dimmer than a five watt light bulb, even so.

I once bought a five watt (tungsten filament) light bulb when I was a student. I put it in the central light in the room I occupied. I swear the place got darker when I turned it on. The gloom level it gave was most delightful.

Occasional Cortex has rediscovered something science was bilking money for back in the 1990s. An impossible project with just enough hints of vague promise to keep the funds flowing. I wasn’t working on it but I was there.

I’ll try to keep to layman’s terms and not don the lecturer cap here. At that time I had just switched from working with ruminants to working with pigs. It was the time I developed the artificial pig gut so I could experiment without messy animals getting in the way. I still have its final incarnation, it’s in pieces in the garage. I doubt I’ll ever run it again though.

Anyway. A ruminant (cows, sheep, goats etc) has four stomachs. The last of these is a proper stomach like we non-ruminants have. Number 3 is for the lecture hall, I won’t bore you with it here. The first two are usually pretty much combined into one big fermenting bag. It doesn’t digest anything from the animal’s point of view but it digests things animals can’t digest. Namely, grass and other plant materials that would pass straight through us undigested.

They do this because the rumen, that big bag, is loaded with a massive population of bacteria and protozoa. My PhD was on the rumen protozoa, mainly Dasytricha and Isotricha, incidentally. Also, while I was doing my PhD, someone else discovered that the rumen was home to the only anaerobic filamentous fungi known at that time.

Back to the point. The thing about that rumen is that it is almost, (but not quite) totally lacking in oxygen. It is the perfect place for methane-producing bacteria to thrive and they do. Big time. You think you fart a bit of methane? Pfft. If dragons were ever real, they were cows with spark plugs in their noses.

So, in the 1990s, there was much funding available for reducing methane production by cattle. It can’t be done, of course. Mess with that microflora and you’ll show a result but when you stop meddling, it just goes back to its natural balance. Keep meddling and the cow gets sick.

The thing about ruminants is that they don’t have a single essential amino acid requirement in their diet. The bacteria and protozoa in the rumen make them all from grass and the cow digests the bacteria and protozoa later. You can, it is true, feed a cow urine-soaked newspaper and it will survive. Carbon source, nitrogen source, its rumen microbes will produce all it needs. However, it needs that microbial population in balance. If it goes out of kilter the animal can get lactic acidosis or bloat, both of which can be terminal.

I did have some fun back in those days. I had found methane-oxidising bacteria in pig guts. Yes, I was pressured in a most unfriendly way into handing those results to the cow meddlers and I put up just enough resistance to let them think I cared. Pig guts (like human guts) have way more oxygen than a rumen, relatively, but it’s still not much. Those methane oxidisers, which require oxygen, were growing incredibly slowly and having no discernible effect on the pig’s methane production. They had no chance in the rumen but it was fun to watch them try.

Later I ‘leaked’ ammonia oxidising bacteria to the same group. They are real, but again, they aren’t doing much in a low oxygen environment.

The only way to reduce the global production of methane by cows is to… kill all the cows. This is obvious and has been from the beginning. It will make no difference unless you kill all the wildebeest and deer and rhinos and antelopes and moose and reindeer and every other herbivorous animal on the planet. Oh, and you have to drain all swamps and estuarine sediment areas too. But reducing methane was never the point.

It’s incredibly silly anyway. Cows can live on grass, we cannot. Huge areas of land won’t grow anything but grass. Turn them into croplands and without many, many tons of artificial fertlisers they will grow… only grass. You grow meat animals or nothing at all on those lands.

The point was, as Occasional Cortex makes clear to even the dimmest of voters now, to stop you lot eating meat. It was to make you drain away your energies on tofu and beans. That’s going to reduce methane production? Really?

Man made climate change is a load of cobblers. We all know it, even those who promote it know it. If Al Gore really believed it he wouldn’t live in a mansion that lights up like a planetary Christmas tree. None of them really believe it. It’s just part of the plan.

The sun is entering a Maunder minimum and real science has known this was coming all along. They were scared to say anything because denying the ‘man made’ part is a career ender. Even those who tried to warn everyone always qualified it with ‘but man made global warming will continue afterwards’.

No it won’t. Most of you will be dead afterwards. Why do you think they are so keen to move people out of the future nature reserve called Africa and send them North? A Maunder minimum will kill them even faster than it will kill us. People adapted to tropical climates are not going to last long when the glaciers start to roll again.

It’s happening faster than real science expected. Sunspot activity is dropping sooner than expected. You don’t have 20 years before it hits, it’s already started. That polar vortex is just a taste. Hence the panic to move the Plan forward faster now.

So if you have been preparing for a meatless warm future, well good luck to you. I have many years of fishing skills and know how to set a rabbit snare, and how to prepare a rabbit and cure the skin for later use. Oh I haven’t done that for decades but it’s really not hard once you know. I’ve been getting ready for cold, no electricity, no mains water or sewage, and a meat based diet based on what’s likely to be left around here.

The Plan has been no secret for a very long time. This particular ‘conspiracy theory’ has been, quite literally, set in stone and put on on public display. Still, many deny it.

Many poo-poo it even now. However, most of those who scoff are avid fans of Bernie Stalinders and the Occasional Cortex and all the free stuff they promise that will be paid for by someone else. They are listening, not to the voices of reason, but to the voices of madness and disaster.

One of those voices is now telling them the links in the Plan.

I think the Democrats will get rid of her sooner rather than later. But I hope she stays for a long while.

She’s the best laugh I’ve had since the Benny Hill show.


26 thoughts on “Endgame

  1. I expect there will be more people like this around in the near future:

    A 27-year-old Indian man plans to sue his parents for giving birth to him without his consent.

    Mr Samuel’s belief is rooted in what’s called anti-natalism – a philosophy that argues that life is so full of misery that people should stop procreating immediately.

    This, he says, would gradually phase out humanity from the Earth and that would also be so much better for the planet.

    “There’s no point to humanity. So many people are suffering. If humanity is extinct, Earth and animals would be happier. They’ll certainly be better off. Also no human will then suffer. Human existence is totally pointless.”

    “I wish I was not born. But it’s not that I’m unhappy in my life. My life is good, but I’d rather not be here. You know it’s like there’s a nice room, but I don’t want to be in that room,” he explains.

    Nurse!!

    He has his very own ecosystem growing on his face: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-india-47154287

    Liked by 1 person

    • This lot’s got photos of him without the fake beard.

      https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/man-suing-parents-giving-birth-13970259

      Underlying all of this is his desire to be paid for satisfying his parents wish to have a baby. In short he wants his inheritance now.

      Amongst the less well off in India (and Pakistan and China – actually in most places where there’s no state pension), male kids are expected to care for their parents in their old age.

      It’s so ingrained in their culture that it’ll never get to court.

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        • We live in an age where a man can say he’s a woman and that makes him one, so really, anything is possible. I was thinking of suing my parents for having had my healthy tonsils taken out when I was five. Just vestigial organs; remnants of our evolutionary past. Except that they do serve a function as do the other ‘vestigial organs’ so I had tonsils stolen from my body and I want them back or I’m suing…

          Anyway, how many Indians are called Rapael Samuel? Other than, perhaps, in call centres, where they have Anglicised names. It’s perhaps fake news to open up another front in the war on families.

          Liked by 1 person

          • You are showing your ignorance of India. You’ve got over a billion souls. And a few million or so have English type names. Theres even one state in the Federation which has the fifth highest population in the world if it were an independent country I speak of Uttar Pradesh.

            In South India, especially Kerala state the Christian community all have anglicised names. So that’s a few million with so called anglicised names. Indeed I went to school with a South Indian who if you hadn’t seen him you would think he was white. In fact his wife who is latina actually told me that she got more job responses with his surname than with her own. He now lives in the USA.

            Liked by 1 person

            • “You are showing your ignorance of India.”

              So all those call centre people with thick Indian accents really are called ‘John’ and ‘Fred’. Who’d have known?

              And I never claimed to be an expert in all things Indian. This is a blog with a (usually) friendly atmosphere, so why the oneupmanship?

              The *fact* remains that almost every Indian one comes across has an Indian-sounding name. When it comes to geography, a lifelong interest, I could probably trounce you. Believe it or not, I know India has (well over) a billion souls and there are many cultures. I’m not that thick!

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              • “This is a blog with a (usually) friendly atmosphere, so why the oneupmanship?” My apologies, Ive been under a lot of stress for a long time and its starting to come out when I vituperatively chide people on blogs. Actually lots of people in India who were converted to Christianity in Goa by the Portuguese actually have names such as Mr Braganza etc and European forenames.
                Geography is also a lifetime interest of mine too. I used be able to name all the capitals and countries of the world at age 6 But I take your point But I wasnt trying to put you down, oh no I was merely pointing out that there are Johns and James and Peters in India ,

                Look up John Abraham , the film star. Google him. He starred with Priyanka Chopra in a film in 2008. Dostana it was called. Fact is I rarely comment these days because my blogging days are in the distant past. Time was I would blog in the morning, go do the comments on the other blogs and get about 50 blog hits a day after blogging for 3 years , I had to shut it down because blogging about the Conservatives became a bit boring. Labour were much more fun to take the rip out of instead.

                Like

                • Apology accepted. I understand what it’s like, which is why I haven’t been in a Twitter spat for a couple of years. It induces far too much stress.

                  I had to shut it down because blogging about the Conservatives became a bit boring. Labour were much more fun to take the rip out of instead.

                  A bit boring? I stopped blogging because I felt like I’d been saying the same things over and over and nobody was listening. I had a bit of fun with Labour for a year – some of them are miffed I have this domain name – thelabourparty.org – the SSL cert. has just run out, so it might not work.

                  I don’t find politics the least bit funny now. The people involved are unscrupulous, treacherous, deceitful, monomaniacal and very, very dangerous.

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          • I have all the vestigial bits intact. The appendix turned out to be an important part too – it holds a ‘sample’ of the gut microflora so it can quickly re-establish in the event of an infection or food poisoning event that causes the world to fall out of your bottom.
            In other animals it’s a caecum and does a job, but we don’t need that. Yet it has not vanished completely so we have it for a reason. It’s a little pocket of ‘get well soon’.

            Liked by 1 person

  2. Wikipedia says the following about The Amazing Occasional Cortex:
    She won second prize in the Intel International Science and Engineering Fair with a microbiology research project on the effect of antioxidants on the lifespan of the nematode C. elegans.

    In a show of appreciation for her efforts, the International Astronomical Union named a small asteroid after her: 23238 Ocasio-Cortez

    And then she became as mad as a doorknob.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I have a PhD in microbiology. Doesn’t qualify me in the slightest to run a country’s economy or make up laws based on my own personal preferences.

      In fact, I should probably never be allowed anywhere near any kind of position of power…

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Actually in theory it would be possible to stop cows releasing methane, but it would require some extremely heavy-duty genetic engineering and would result in super-cows which might very well take over the planet.

    The reason all herbivores have such incredible microflora in their guts is because the animals themselves cannot digest cellulose or lignin. Were someone to engineer cellulase and lignase enzymes into herbivores together with a suite of amino acid synthesis enzymes (hell, let’s go the whole hog and engineer in nitrogen fixing enzymes as well) then you would have an animal that needs an energy input like grass, some micronutrients and pretty much nothing else. Virtually all of the energy from cellulose would go to the animal, and not be lost as methane.

    It would probably be an idea to engineer in one nutrient that these supercows cannot manufacture themselves, just to keep them dependent on humans.

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    • Well, yes, but theoretically you could give humans tails just by switching on dormant genes. It happens rarely, babies born with tails, but they are surgically removed.

      I’d have been livid if I’d been born with a tail and they cut it off.

      The work I saw was all about changing the microflora – which only works as long as you apply pressure. Stop the treatment and it reverts. And if there are no active methanogens, the cows give off CO2 instead ๐Ÿ˜‰

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Didn’t someone else have a pile of these high paying green jobs? The ‘shovel ready’ kind? Oh yes, what happened to those?

    Oh yes, as Obama himself admitted, โ€œshovel-ready was not as shovel-ready as we expected.โ€

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    • In the lab block I occupied, another lab was taken by a guy running a renewable-energy business. Doing well on subsidies, when the subsidies stopped, poof! the business was gone. This ‘sustainable’ stuff just isn’t sustainable.

      My business never had subsidies. It was killed by a combination of jury service and another thing that I can’t talk about because I can’t provide documented proof, but it was doing okay on its own with no taxpayer money at all. Leg Iron Books likewise has no subsidies.

      If a business has to rely on subsidies for survival, it’s time to rethink that business model.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Dad watches Trump for entertainment value. I shall have to watch this Cortex woman.
    If dragons were ever real, they were cows with spark plugs in their noses. That is one hell of a line.!

    Like

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