Eggs

No, this has nothing to do with the word-association part of ‘The Winslow Apple‘, which I am certain was the first thing in everyone’s mind. This is about the throwing of, or splattering of eggs on politicians.

Jerry Cordite had one thrown at him, Nigel Fagash was egged, I seem to recall Napolemacron received a free raw omelette and there have been more. John Prescott had one thrown at him some years back, and now an Australian politician has had one forcibly splattered on the back of his large bald head.

Prezza’s retaliatory thump is now the stuff of legend, of course. Jerry didn’t get to thump the guy, I believe his security got him first.

In Australia, they do things differently. When Prezza lashed out, his people held him back while the police arrested the thrower. In Australia, the politician thumped the egg splatterer until his security took over and seriously took down the assailant.

The Australian Eggman was a teenager. They really didn’t need three burly security operatives to hold him down. But then, when you pick a fight, you really ought to gauge the level of likely retaliation first. A thin teenager starting a rumble with burly adults was never going to be clever idea.

Apparently a lot of people don’t like this particular Australian politician (I’ve never heard of him and don’t care, we have enough problems with the UK politicians without getting involved in anyone else’s) so they are siding with the ‘he’s just a kid’ egg splattering idiot.

I don’t agree with Corbyn on pretty much anything. And yes, an egg is pretty harmless as a weapon of choice but consider the egg recipient’s point of view.

They don’t know it’s an egg. They feel something hit them, sometimes hard, and then they feel wet stickiness at the point of impact.

Loonies are out shooting and stabbing people with a horrible regularity these days.

If you felt a sudden impact followed by a wet, sticky feeling at the point of impact, what would your first thought be? That some arse has thrown an egg? Or that you might have been shot or stabbed?

Tell you what – if I felt an impact, then a wet stickiness spreading from that point, turned around and saw the assailant… I am not going to check if what I’m feeling is egg or blood. I am going for that assailant first. They might go for another wet sticky patch and if it’s not egg I might not survive it.

I am not going to check if he has a knife in either hand. No time for that. And I will do a damn sight more than slap him or punch him. At that point I have no choice but to assume it’s him or me.

When Prescott was egged we all laughed about it. Back then, eggs were just a silly protest. No real harm done. Back then though, people were not being shot and stabbed several times a day, every day. Now, an impact followed by a wet sticky feeling (you actually don’t feel the pain right away, the shock hides it, especially if you don’t see it coming) could well mean you have been shot or stabbed.

So maybe Australians dislike that politician as much as I dislike almost all of the UK ones. Is it OK for a smug entitled teenager to put that much fear into their minds with just an egg? Is it OK for any smug entitled teenager to just walk up to anyone they feel like and assault them without consequence?

If you say ‘yes’ or worse – ‘yes in this case because it’s someone I don’t like’ then you are not part of the problem.

You are the problem.

Good luck when it’s your turn. I’m sure you’ll take the time to check whether that impact wetness is egg or blood, then have a jolly discussion with your attacker without worrying what the new wet impacts are.

I dislike almost every politician in the UK, but I would not do this to any of them.

I will never be an omelette terrorist.