Well, royalties are done and will be sent out shortly. I’ve decided to put future competitions on the Leg Iron Books site and link to them when they’re ready because advertising and shit…
So, this week Donnie Trumpton is visiting the UK and the Very British Whining is at full volume. No matter what you think of the huge orange arse, he is the duly elected President of the United States of America and we have a lot of trade going on there. They also, let’s be honest, saved our arses in WWII. They didn’t do it for free, it cost us a lot, but we don’t speak German. Well. I don’t. Nicht sprechen Germanian ici. Or words to that effect.
Which is why Trump is here. He is not here as a golf course owner or hotel magnate, he is here as President of the USA to commemorate the D-day landings in which thousands of British and American and other troops died so that the perpetually offended could complain at length about nothing that matters at all. Oh, and coincidentally, I’ve just built a British Airborne version of the Willys jeep in what could well be my last ever foray into 1/72 scale. It’s getting hard to see that stuff now.
I live fairly close (I have lived closer) to a place called Balmedie where Trump built a golf course, many years ago. He royally pissed off most of the local residents with his fences and bully-boy tactics, but since most of the residents there are Audi-driving dicks it was hard to decide which side to take. Then he fell out with his big pal of the time, Al the Oily Fish, when Al built a load of windmills in the sea and ruined the view from the golf course. Again, which side do you take? I wanted them all to lose.
I don’t play golf. It is a silly game.
Anyway. The duly elected Boss of America is in the UK, having a quiet sherry with Mrs. Queen, probably followed a whisky drinking and non-PC utterance contest with Phil the Greek, and several allegedly sensible politicians are all bent out of shape about it.
Does anyone care? Apparently a lot of people do. Some dick mowed a dick into a field in protest. Lots of people are out with placards and slogans to, as usual, protest about something no sensible person gives a toss about. Nobody minded when genuine dictators visited but an elected orange blimp-lookalike visits and everyone loses their minds.
There has been much talk of how Trump upset the diminutive Gimli Khan, without mentioning that Gimli used the standard Leftie playbook. Keep needling and needling until you get a response, then play victim. I’m amazed they still think that works but then we are talking about people who struggle to spell IQ.
We have a man-shaped hairy thing called Jerry Cordite who thinks he is Prime Monster material but who refuses to even look at the UK’s biggest ally and trading partner. Instead he is going on a protest march at which he will get all shouty and be listened to by people incapable of thinking. If he becomes Prime Monster, Brexit will be irrelevant. We’re going into bankruptcy when the Orange Sanctions and Tarrifs hit.
And of course, Tyrion Bercow is in the mix. He will not let Trump anywhere near Parliament because well, he doesn’t like him. He was happy enough with all those real dictators but they weren’t orange and didn’t have a blimp made of them.
It’s all very silly and childish, isn’t it? ‘He called me names and I called him names and now we’re going to have a fight in the playground’. Come on. Can’t we have a grown up leader like Russia has?
I think political battles like this should be settled in a Rollerball tournament. If you haven’t seen Rollerball, with James Caan, you should. I’ve seen it so many times I just fast forward to the games now. You want to shout insults? Get in the ring. Let’s see who comes out.
Rollerball is the ideal way to decide the current Tory leadership contest to decide who is Captain of the Oblivion Ship. There is only one way out of their death spiral and they won’t take it. The entire political class is in denial. In nearly 60 years I have never seen anything like it.
Almost all that is left of the Tory party want to be leader. Of what? Weren’t you lot paying attention at the EU elections we shouldn’t have had? The Tory party is over. Time to get your hat and coat, call a cab and go home.
There is to be a by-election in Peterborough this week because the incumbent MP, Fiona Ohwhatshername is a convicted criminal yet was allowed to vote in Parliament while wearing a curfew tag. It’s a safe Labour seat – or it was, when Labour was actually about working class people. Now it’s a straight fight between Brexit party and Lib Dems. The Tories are campaigning there of course but nobody is listening. I doubt anyone will ever listen to the Tories again.
Tessie is still Prime Monster for now. Most of the Tory Party are fighting to replace her as the leader of nothing. Oh, they’ll be Prime Monster until the next election and then there’ll be none of them left at all.
Out there, in space, is the asteroid that could destroy the planet.
I bet it’s thinking ‘Why bother?’