In the old days we’d have a general election, there’d be a bit of ‘hooray’ from the winners on election night, the losers would say ‘meh, we’ll get you next time’ and then we’d all go back to normal life until it rolled around again. Most of us have realised that, at least since Harold Wilson days, it doesn’t really matter who is in charge. They are all twats anyway and best ignored.
Now it’s all about the election. Not about what any of the buggers who won it are going to do.
No, the Russians made the Conservatives win just like they made Trump win. Yeah, those crazy Russians, eh? Supporting the anti-communist parties in other countries. What can they be thinking? Perhaps they shouldn’t mix vodka and Facebook.
It was Brexit wot dun it. You know, that thing we voted on three and a half years ago and still isn’t sorted. Why isn’t is sorted? Because they are all twats anyway and best ignored.
Maybe Kim Jong Corbyn’s party wasn’t communist enough. Maybe Boris won the votes with his happy clown act. Maybe the climate didn’t change fast enough. Maybe it was a Thursday. Nobody knows what they are voting for on a Thursday. The excuses are legion and frankly, I have never seen this before. In the old days, we used to grow up. That no longer happens.
In London, the toddler tantrums of the losing side have taken up far too much police time that could be better spent hunting down hurty words on Twitter. And yes, that would actually be a better use of police time than trying to stop full-moon-addled lunatics lynching anyone they don’t agree with.
Is this the result of the ‘nobody loses’ idiocracy applied to schools? Well, some of those shrieking harpies look to be my age or older, but maybe they just had a hard life. Or maybe being consumed by hate ages you.
‘No matter who you vote for, the government always gets in’ is a very old saying and a Bonzo Dog Band song. I will take it to its ultimate conclusion in ‘Panoptica’ unless reality gets there first.
It’s already pretty much true. They get into Wastemonster and fill out expenses forms on top of their salaries. And they don’t do much else apart from making sure the tax take covers their salaries and expenses. They talk about ‘the working man’ while all of them sit on their arses and watch the money roll in. All of them.
It’s what they’ve always done. We ignored them, mostly. What changed is that they developed this idea that they can ban things we ‘common plebs’ like.Then we noticed and we started to look at what that home for the terminally political was actually doing with the money we sent it.
Well, it was a bit of a shock.
Even so, we didn’t riot and rage, we just voted for different ones who did just the same thing anyway.
This time we have Boriswise the Clown. Do we wait to see whether he actually does anything useful? His Prime Monstership has a better majority than any government since Blair. We’ve had the Cleggeron Coagulation,then a dose of the Cameroids, then Tessie Maybe and now Boris. We won’t mention the Brown Gorgon, even Labour keep quiet about that one.
Boris has an actual majority for the first time in years. He can do stuff. He can get things done.
The question is… what things?
The British way is to give him a chance and then wipe him out if he fucks up.
The Brutish way… is what Labour’s Brownshirts are currently doing.
The election is over. We have a proper majority government at last. Maybe not the one you wanted and maybe not the best but for the first time in a long time we have an actual functioning Parliament. Let’s see what it does.
In the meantime, I don’t know about you, but I have real life stuff to deal with.