I ventured out to Local Shop today. Had to get some milk, a few things, and post some Leg Iron Books mugs. Still waiting to hear back from one winner. Best be quick before the lockdown is total and we are sent our daily ration automatically (already covered that in Panoptica, it’s coming). I’ll try resending the email.

Local Shop was not as well stocked as usual but they had the basics. Didn’t see any toilet roll but wasn’t looking for any as we bought a 24-pack just before the madness started. It will last us 6 to 8 weeks, longer if we use both sides. No bogroll panic here yet. We can wait for the restock.

They had milk – in the old style glass bottles with foil caps. Haven’t seen those for many years. The ones you rinse out and take back when empty. I would really like to see that continue, it would do a lot to cut down on plastic waste. I know, logistically it’s a pain to use glass instead of plastic but perhaps we’ll get back to pre-supermarket days, when milk was shipped to the shops from a local dairy rather than a supermarket’s central warehouse. Dairy farms are everywhere. Milk doesn’t really need to go all that far in most cases. Especially in rural places – and if you need the plastic bottles for cities, fine, even just cutting back on them for rural areas reduces waste.

The streets – well, the street – was busy. I counted four people! Never seen it so packed. Needless to say I stayed well clear especially because one had a plague packet in a pushchair. Children seem to only get trivial symptoms but they can spread it just like real people. I will not be able to visit my granddaughter for a while, and my mother cannot see her grandkids. I mean, we love the kids, but they are not worth unneccesarily dying for. And imagine growing up knowing it was you who finished off your grandparents? That’s not something you want on any kid’s conscience.

The Scottish Health Idiot was out saying that 80% only get the ‘mild’ version. ‘Mild’ means you don’t have to go to hospital. It does not mean you get a bit of the sniffles. The ‘mild’ version is bloody vicious. It’s called ‘mild’ because it probably won’t kill you but it can permanently damage your lungs. This is not something to be pissed about with.

So I will continue the social distancing measures I have kept going for about 40 years now. With an added bonus – no combing of hair or ironing or giving the slightest shit what I look like because nobody is going to see much of me for months. Regular showers though. I am locked in here with CStM after all. I might even get a blue rinse and a hairnet to see how much I now resemble my grandmother. I think I have mastered the scowl.

Here, we have not hoarded. We have enough trouble with mice as it is, loading the place up with mouse treats would be a stupid idea. The effects of the hoarders are starting to be felt.

Councils are reporting a surge in food waste. Much of it still in its packaging, out of date. This will continue because the cretins doing it will go out and buy more bin fodder and watch it rot.

In fact it will get worse. I saw on Twitter that one bragging hoarder had three plastic boxes full of apples with a bunch of bananas on top. In a week they’ll have three boxes of hairy brown mush. There is a correct way to store apples long term and that, by a very wide margin, isn’t it.

So, you have hoarded three month’s worth of food, most of which will be rotten in three weeks? Good for you. You don’t need to go to the shops now. The rest of us have to go to the shops every other day because you idiots have left us with nothing. So, when you come out of your bunker into the bright blue skies of summer and head to Aldi and the food waste dump, you will find the zombie apocalypse has arrived because we have now all infected each other by visiting the shops daily. We would eat your brains, but we’re not on a diet.

I’d recommend getting some mouse traps and bait boxes while they are cheap whether you need them or not. Also get the bait for the boxes. You might not be hoarding but if your neighbour is, you might be sharing their mice or even rats. And don’t imagine there are no mice or rats in the cities. There always have been, and always will be. The trick is not to attract them.

The morons stacking up packs of rice, pasta and flour now are going to be panic buying mousetraps within a fortnight. Prices will go up, a lot, as with those suicidal corner shop businesses currently ripping people off.

Oh, purely coincidentally, China has a new deadly virus for export. Spread by rats.

And you morons have houses full of rat treats…

Phase 2.

13 thoughts on “Hoarding

  1. It sounds as if your grannie was like mine. She lived to 96 and spent the last ten years of her life trying to make sure that everyone around her was as torn-faced as she was.
    Isn’t hoarding the sound of a brothel doorbell?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ignore the writing; the video’s the star. Father explains to family (wife, teen girl and boy) at dinner table exactly how many dumps worth are in a bog roll at 20 sheets a dump.


    Then there’s the academics and their take on why some in our society feel an absolute overwhelming need to must have it. They’re control freaks.


    Re your coffee mugs. If sending airmail, don’t bother with some destinations, they’ve closed their airports, some indefinitely.


    • Yeah, we have enough for a few weeks in one big pack. No need to make this place a fire hazard.

      I’m sending one mug to Australia. It doesn’t matter if it takes months to get there. It won’t go bad.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. First comment TOILET PAPER. This takes me back to 1973 when we had just joined the EEC. Unconnected with that event, there was a commodity crisis which included toilet paper.
    SIR EMRYS JONES had been Chief Adviser to the Minister of Agriculture. Although “ going into Europe” was supposed to cause a boom in our industrial exports to Europe, the biggest ( and most expensive) change was agricultural policy. It was a surprise to our feed technologists’ group to learn that Sir Emrys had privately been deeply opposed to it. He did a tremendous job of preparing the industry for the changeover. He resigned and became Principal of the Royal Agricultural College and shared some of his problems with us. Where could he find a reliable supply of toilet paper? “ because our Victorian drains block up solid after a week of the Daily Mail”. He was from a Welsh hill farming family and not at all a Sir Humphrey type. When I asked him how he liked his new job, he replied “ Man! If it wasn’t for the bloody students and the bloody governors and the bloody students, the job would be bloody perfect!”

    Second . HOARDING. I stocked up with tinned food, pasta, rice, soaps etc AND TOILET PAPER before our expected Brexit in March 2019. We had begun to use some of the stock which was all secure boxed from mouse and rat attack in a cellar – like outhouse which also contained last Autumn’s maincrop potatoes ( just finished) A mouse had damaged a few of those but then made a bad mistake by nibbling at the one unprotected pack of dishwasher tablets – of which it expired.


  4. I didn’t want to talk about this. I had Tuberculosis many years ago and apparently have half a Lung that doesn’t work because it calcified.. Will this matter?


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