I am typing one handed – and you can get that filthy grin off your face right now. I have sprained my wrist – what did I just say about filthy grins?

This is exceptionally bad timing, I have a lot to do and could have done without something to make it more difficult. Good thing Roo B Doo takes on some of the editing load.

It’s Amazon’s fault. They took me by surprise with a delivery. Currently their delivery service is overloaded so parcel tracking is hit or miss and delivery times are a bit random. However, one arrived today and the driver wanted to see ID.

I was somewhat taken aback, there was a perfectly ordinary box on the ground outside my front door and I hadn’t ordered any whisky or anything sharp. I wasn’t expecting to need ID for anything.

It was seriously cold out there and I was just in a dressing gown so once he’d put the details in, I grabbed the box and took it inside. Well, it was a lot heavier than it looked. It was two trays of cans of bitter lemon. Yes, Amazon have bitter lemon as an age restricted item. I’ve loved this stuff since I was a kid, when and why did it become adults-only?

I didn’t notice anything at first but soon my left wrist started to ache. Then it started to ache some more. Then I couldn’t use that hand to pick anything up, it’s like all the strength has gone. It’s now at the point of being wrapped in an elastic support bandage and resting as much as possible.

No, I won’t be bothering the NHS. I doubt they can do much more than I’m already doing anyway, they might give me painkillers but I have several bottles of that already and they won’t approve of mine.

There remains the big question though. Why is bitter lemon age restricted? I’m pretty sure it’s not restricted in the shops – but then one look at me will soon tell any shop staff that I’m well over 18 anyway. Previous orders have come via Royal Mail, they don’t even ring the doorbell these days, they just leave it in the garage and put a note through the door. Although that might have less to do with Covid and more to do with the fact that we’re rarely awake when the post arrives.

Incidentally, I have never been asked for age verification in any shop or pub, ever, Not in 60 years. The only time I have ever had to show ID is on my own doorstep, when accepting whisky (and now lemonade) deliveries. Yes, I am often in a dressing gown when they come to the door, there is little reason to get dressed when you have nowhere to go and gardening season is over for several more months yet.

I have now been asked to show ID more times when undressed than when dressed. And today, for the first time, I had to show ID for cans of pop. A load of cans that have now left me one-handed until it heals up, which hopefully won’t be long.

I might stay in bed all day tomorrow. It’s probably safer.

12 thoughts on “Ouch

  1. The Computer says NO.
    The character recognition program (are we supposed to use “app” now, in this trendy new world?) reads “bitter” , the country is Britain, therefore it is beer.
    And not just good old UK beer but some trendy micro-brewery pseudo Belgian fruit beer at 10 or 15 percent.
    You are not going to entrap the supplier that way, just to appease the Blessed, Wee (ironically named) Nippie, scourge of people who enjoy life.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Can you move your fingers? If you can move any, try getting CStM to attach, with carefully crafted thin strips of ducktape, a (very) short pencil or similar to any mobile finger. You might be able to access a key or two with that hand. Just a thought…?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. A computer error over the name sounds highly likely. I think I may once have experienced an analogue version of the same thing; a friend and I, on a hot and thirsty bike ride in the school holidays, asked for a bottle of Irn Bru in a village shop only to be sent packing by the elderly woman behind the counter: “The cheek of it! Get awa’ wi’ ye ; ye’re no’ eighteen yet!”

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Doonhamer is correct it’s the word bitter that trips the algorithm. You can try a search for an 18650 battery, and if it mentions e-cigarette anywhere in the title up pops the age warning without it no such restriction..

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Most likely everything in their drinks department automatically requires ID. I’ve seen this in Tesco where anything related to alcohol tends to spark a request for Id, whether it is alcoholic it not.

    Safer for the sellers to id something unnecessary, than not request id and get fine for selling to children.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. The thought processes of the funstasi is that bitter lemon is a mixer with alcohol and it’s a slippery slope in their twisted joyless minds. Peanuts and other nibbles next!

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Amazon busy? Not around here – Doncaster-ish. My daughter was delivering for them and gave it up because she wasn’t making a wage. The clincher was their two Prime days recently: they anticipated big sales but didn’t have enough to use all the drivers they had but were still advertising for more! Drivers are self-employed, of course, so the big A never loses.

    Liked by 1 person

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