So, the Suez canal was blocked by a container ship that apparently tried to go up it sideways. There are many theories, including ‘they did it on purpose’ and in the current climate I really can’t blame anyone for thinking that.
My own theory involves a mass raid on the rum ration. In support of this theory, I reference the satellite tracking data which shows the ship’s course before entering the canal. They had ‘drawn’ an enormous penis at sea just before entering the canal. I think the crew were plastered.
The news ran with the quite accurate assessment that it would affect world trade, since without Suez, ships would have to go all the way around Africa and that’s a very long way indeed. They also ran with the panic-inducing ‘Worldwide Toilet Paper Shortage!’ which is, well it’s the stuff toilet paper generally has to deal with. China is not the sole manufacturer of toilet paper and even if they were, that stuff weighs so little it could be transported overland easily by train. You could even pack a transport plane full of it and make very little difference to its overall weight.
I don’t understand the whole ‘toilet paper’ thing. If there really was a looming disaster, toilet paper isn’t the first thing I’d be thinking about stocking up with. Canned and dried food and fuel for the generator would be top of the list. Running out of toilet paper would be inconvenient but hardly life threatening.
The news seems to think it’s the primary basis of civilisation. No toilet paper? We might as well go back to the caves, folks. It’s all over. People have very strange priorities.
Anyway, the ship is floating again and is now out of the narrow part of the canal. Rumours that it was loaded with trafficked children and nuclear devices are fading now. They were starting to get interesting. Especially the ‘Evergreen’ stuff.
Evergreen is the name of the shipping company. The ship’s actual name is ‘Ever Given’ which has to be the crappiest name for a ship ever devised. I guess the ones who named it were drunk too.
This word ‘Evergreen’ has popped up in all kinds of situations. It’s very popular. The new railway being built in America (California, I think) is the Evergreen Line. And, of course, it was HR Clinton’s code name when she was in the government. I don’t really see the point of giving them code names it they’re just going to tell everyone what they are, but… *shrug*.
To me, Evergreen refers to trees that don’t lose their leaves in winter. That’s the only definition in my head. The holly, fine, but I don’t think pine trees should count. Every year the drains and gutters are choked with pine needles and every spring the first cut of the lawns is like going through a pine cone and dead branch minefield. They drop stuff all over the place.
But I digress. There is certainly some link in this whole Evergreen story and I fully expect it’s making someone, somewhere, a hell of a lot of money. Legitimate or nefarious? I have no idea.
I expect we’ll find out eventually. Meanwhile, the Suez canal is open again and all those ships – which probably aren’t carrying any toilet paper deliveries at all – can get through now.
I still don’t think it was deliberate. If I wanted to block the Suez canal I’d have ‘accidentally’ sunk that ship sideways in it. It would have taken a lot longer to get that out.
So I’m sticking with the ‘drunken sailor’ theory.