Sifting through the wreckage

First up, a reminder. Underdog Anthology 17 is open for submissions until the end of May. It was supposed to be the end of March but I typed May by mistake. I thought about correcting it but I’m so far behind it seemed best to leave it as May. It’s not themed, any genre is okay for this one, so the timing isn’t critical. This year it’ll be an ‘end of Spring’ anthology.

In the end, I made less progress with the backlog than I had hoped, but I have at least made some. I have been under a creeping malaise – four family members have died in the last two years, then we had the November storm that blacked out everything – power, phone line, even the mobiles were offline. That storm also destroyed the garden I’ve been working on for the past five years or so.

Then, I watched as the world sank into the Panoptica of my nightmares. I spoke with idiots online who insisted I couldn’t know about PCR or LFT testing and couldn’t be a microbiologist because their one-day training course had taught them everything about the subject. They’d had pipette training. Fucking pipettes! We learned how to use those at school, and I have several Gilson pipettes (and a few of the old glass ones) still in my possession from when I closed down my sole-run lab. Loads of Gilson tips too, and much more.

Even now, there are those who say the vaccines are highly effective, even though they’ve had three or four shots of it and still caught the thing they were ‘vaccinated’ against. From the first time I heard how these jabs were meant to work, it was clear they were going to do a lot of damage – and they have. It’s now slowly coming to light, far too late, and still the main news outlets are ignoring it. The governments of the world are mostly ignoring it too and keep pushing for more jabs.

Eventually, these insane jabs will go the way of Thalidomide – although that did actually turn out to have a use, just not in pregnant women. Thalidomide lasted four years before the money-driven medical profession gave in and withdrew it. Champix, the antismoking suicide pill, lasted even longer. The medical profession has improved in only one area. They are better at making money.

Oh, and it’s no longer cool to refer to ‘pregnant women’ because, as the NHS is teaching new midwives, men can now give birth through their penis. I have to say, I don’t fancy that at all. Some like to claim women ‘hang like a wizard’s sleeve’ after multiple childbirths. A man pushing one baby through his penis is going to hang like the wizard’s discarded sock, full of holes and tears and of no further use to anyone. It would end up as flat and wide as a motorway badger. You’d be peeing like a lawn sprinkler. I used to joke that you’d be better off talking to the cackling old crone who lives in the woods, with one tooth and a herb garden, rather than bother the NHS – but it’s no longer a joke. They have left all of biology and truth behind and now only care about money.

Then we have the much publicised Johnny Depp/Amber Heard trial. I’ve tried to ignore it but it pokes itself into your eyes. I don’t care about it. I don’t know either of these people and am not likely to. They are both actors so what they say might be true or scripted, who can tell? And who gives a shit? Apparently Ms Heard did…

And the Ukraine thing. Now, let’s be clear here, Putin is not a pleasant person. He’s had opposition politicians killed or imprisoned and treats his people like his own personal herd of cattle but… so does Zelensky. There is no good guy in this fight and supporting one side over the other… well you either support Commies or self-proclaimed Nazis. Take your choice. I hope they both lose.

It’s all distraction. Meanwhile food processing plants spontaneously combust all over the Western world and farmers are being bribed to retire by the UK government while the Billy Gates Gruff and the Chinese communist party buy up the arable land in the USA and (in the case of the Chinese) also Africa. Why would you bother with a war invasion when you can just buy the territory?

Watching it all happen, watching the Panoptica stories come to reality, day by day, took a toll on me. Added to the family deaths and the wreckage of my garden, the malaise took a slow but certain hold. In lockdown I’d have been hard pressed to tell you what day it was, it progressed to the point where I didn’t know, without checking, which month we were in.

I didn’t notice it, it was so slow, but CStM noticed. She pointed out where it began and where it was progressing. Looking back it’s clear it started when my father died, suddenly and unexpectedly (just before covid and vaccines). The rest has been piled on top of that. In a fairly rapid succession.

I tried making a few models to get me back on track but maybe I didn’t pick the most cheerful of subjects…

They came out nice though. It helped a bit. But when the weather improved and I could see the garden wasn’t quite the utter wasteland I expected, that helped a lot more. It’s fixable, it’ll be different but it’s not utterly destroyed.

I don’t seem to be capable of full clinical depression. I suspect this is the closest I’ve ever been. Well, I’m back now, as normal as can be expected, and Leg Iron Books is firing up again.

Without any medication (other than a few whiskies, which I need to reduce once again).

15 thoughts on “Sifting through the wreckage

  1. Flying off at a tangent…
    Pipette –
    My daughter insists on pronouncing it “pipe – et”, not “pipp – et”.
    Her colleagues all think she’s mad. But I think she’s right.

    Vaccine? I dodged it. I’m not convinced it’s that dangerous, but I never felt the need to risk it.

    Glad you’re back. We missed you πŸ™‚

    Liked by 3 people

  2. My anxiety hasn’t been good but I am also half returning to normal. Give me a couple more weeks and a couple of pounds of black grapes and I will be back on top.

    Storm O’Connor has completely wrecked my garden which I’ve been working on for the past thirty years, but he has slowed down a fraction this last six months. Probably due in part to all of the rain. O’Connor isn’t keen on rain.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You’re in good company and glad to see you back and running.

    The good lady and i haven’t watched television for years (no licence now, should have done that years ago) and newspapers nor the rest of the msm haven’t featured for well over 30 years, radio has been muted whenever the state approved news is broadcast.

    Our information has been gleaned from blogs and alternative media, and yours dear Leggy has been one of the most important, particularly your information about the alleged vaccines, it was you who convinced us from the start to have nothing to do with the filth, and a huge unpayable thanks is your due.

    However, just seeing and feeling what has happened to the country, nay the world, driven by mega wealthy mega greedy Blofelds their groups and their henchpersons who in reality are little more than comic book James Bond megalomanic villains, but due to wealth and the deviant power it gives are bribing buying influencing forcing and blackmailing the whole world down a dark road, a road which appears to have something awful at the end of it, a utopia for them and a living hell for those they wish to enslave.

    What’s demoralised me most is how easily and quickly the brainwashing worked on vast swathes of the population, truly that idiot box in the corner is one of the most evil inventions, a tool of control and state propaganda.

    The last 2.5 years have been a revelation to me personally, the previous 64 years having had a simple (and looking back on it idyllic) childhood, amazingly as i’m thick as two planks managed to pass the 11+ and found myself in a superb wonderful old fashioned boys grammar school complete with army/air force cadet force and a well stocked armoury and rifle range, masters in mortar boards and capes, almost a boys own adventure.
    My fellow pupils were basically solid chaps.
    From that start i truly (stupidly) believed that the heinous events and perpetrators of 1930s central europe could never have happened here, that we bred different sorts here.
    Well haven’t i been a bloody fool.
    Over the last 2 years the same type who would cheerfully have persecuted religiously/ethnically different people back then, crawled out of the woodwork in droves in this country, calling for enforced medical treatments and draconian punishments, apartheid and incarceration for those of us failing to read from the hymnsheet of the day or take their sacred jab.

    The realisation that my view of our world, here in these isles which i love with all my heart, was a complete lie that has found me weeping uncontrollably at times, the realisation that so many millions of our countrymen and women are not what i thought they were at all, dishonourable easily bought and compliant with evil.
    I find now i have more in common with my foreign friends and colleagues (from all walks and all backgrounds) than i do with so many of my own countrymen, our own people with too few exceptions forgot how precious and fragile our freedoms are.

    I’m sorry to have waffled on so long.
    Just wanted to tell you, Leggy, and all the other souls who look here, that every one of us has been affected by the last 2.5 years in different ways.

    Thankyou for helping me/us through this time, truly.

    Hey guess what megalomaniacs and your bought and paid for politicians and media snakes, we’re still here, you haven’t got us by the short and curlies and you can’t buy us, so sod off.

    Liked by 5 people

  4. Praise be! I wondered if you’d been dragged off into the woods by the local mudgies: they really start to flex their muscles at this time of year.
    (Not being a bugologist, suddenly wonders whether mudgies have muscles)
    Take care, everyone and don’t forget the school motto: Nil illegitimi carborundom.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Mudgies are a very serious threat. Does Legiron know in fact how bad they are?

      They lurk, especially, in small locations wherein trees have been blown down. It’s something to do with the Wind-God, and whether he has eaten baked-beans in Vindaloo sauce during the week before. The Wind-God is enraged by the loss of trees, and may call the Jingle-Bells-Operatives. To perform “cleansing”.

      I’m just trying to give him material for a short story here. Legiron will know exactly what this is about.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. “men can now give birth through their penis. I have to say, I don’t fancy that at all.”

    Hmph. Leggy, you’re just being a typical male chauvinist! Once the RIGHT sort of people get power, you will be sentenced to a minimum of three PPs! (That’s “Penile Pregnancies” where the li’l codgers come out like pp {that’s “peepee” like you were taught when you were a little tiny teeny-weeny Leggie, Leggy!}

    – MJM, who’ll forego the pleasure of the experience…

    Liked by 1 person

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