Well, we have rocketing food prices, insane fuel prices, impending shortages of everything and now we’re told we are short of water.

Rubbish. This is the UK. Water drops out of the sky most days of the year. And we’re surrounded by it so a few desalination plants and we’d have an inexhaustible supply. Of course that’s far too logical for any government to ever implement.

To be fair, the desalination plants aren’t necessary. As I said, water drops out of the sky for free for most of the year. Water shortages are uncommon here, the last serious one I remember was 1976 when we were told to re-use bathwater and there were standpipes in the streets for water rationing in some towns. In 1976 we had two months of dry weather to get to that point. This year, it took two days.

Two dry days should have passed unnoticed. They didn’t. We have the Madscream Media telling us the world is about to become as dessicated as a raisin and showing us pictures of a yellowed landscape.

It’s harvest time. You know how you can tell when a crop is ready for harvest? It turns yellow. When it’s harvested, the stubble left behind is… yellow. The Telegraph even showed a photo of a yellowed field in which the baled straw was still perfectly visible. Bales of straw that look like this.

And they were all… yellow

Don’t worry, I’m not going to put up a Coldplay video. I have not sunk to inflicting such levels of torture on you.

See, when you harvest grain for sale, the buyer wants a certain maximum level of moisture content. If the grain is too wet, you have to run grain dryers for days, sometimes many days, and that costs a lot of money. Especially with the current insane energy prices. So you want to harvest it when it’s dry.

Well, there’s heavy rain and thunderstorms forecast for next week so this week, harvesting has been frantic. On every farm in the country. This has resulted in an awful lot of yellow fields appearing all at once and the Church of Climatology has made considerable propaganda out of it. Sure, large parts of the UK, especially the eastern side, looks like it’s dry as a crisp in satellite images but when all the farms harvest at once, that’s inevitable. Zoom in on those photos and you’ll see the yellow patches resolve into discrete fields with green bits in between. Under those yellow fields the soil is not dessicated.

We are not short of water. We are short of sensible water policies. Water companies are losing millions of gallons a day through leaky transport pipes and their only solution is to raise prices so their customers pay for their wasteful incompetence. There’s plenty of water, if only the infrastructure had been examined and updated at least once since Queen Victoria’s day.

Another anomaly is the hosepipe ban. I’ve never seen a hosepipe ban since I moved to Scotland. The nearest I saw was in the really good summer in the early 2000s, when Scottish Water sent a letter asking if we wouldn’t mind avoiding hosepipe use unless it was actually necessary. That was once, and it wasn’t a ban, just a ‘we’d rather you didn’t if you don’t mind’ letter.

Further south, hosepipe bans happened every few years when the summers were actually warm. They were announced as ‘don’t use hosepipes from now until we say so’. This year it’s ‘we’re going to impose a hosepipe ban at some specific date in a few weeks time’. Which only makes sense if you don your tinfoil hat.

So, tinfoil hats on, everyone. Are you ready? Here we go.

We have been forecast thunderstorms for weeks. They didn’t happen. It rained but no storms. The forecast is for storms next week, all over the country, all at once. So farms are harvesting at a manic pace all over the country. So there are many fields of yellow stubble, all at once. They appear every year, just not usually all in the same week. These yellow fields are being claimed to be proof of drought by idiots who have never set foot outside the concrete jungles they inhabit.

Announcing a hosepipe ban in advance can have only one result. Every bugger is out washing their car and watering their garden every day until it takes effect. Just as with the rumours of arsepaper shortage, petrol shortage, etc, the prediction fulfils itself.

There is no shortage until you force it to happen.

It’s being pushed hard because the dry spell isn’t going to last long, and they’ll need to switch to ‘Climate Change Floods’ (due to blocked and badly maintained drains) very quickly. You’d be amazed just how fast the general population will forget that they were in the middle of a deadly drought yesterday and they need to build an Ark today.

The water goes deeper (sorry).

So you might be thinking ‘Well, I can collect rainwater if it comes down to it’. By a remarkable coincidence *snort* it has just been ‘discovered’ that there is no rainwater safe to drink, anywhere in the world.

Remember that game of ‘dihydrogen monoxide’? It’s in everything! There were a very few who fell for it and were genuinely scared. This is the same game but on a much bigger scale.

This time, the first response will be ‘Who the hell drinks rainwater? I get mine from the tap’. Eventually the realisation will spread that tap water comes from reservoirs and what refills the reservoirs? It’s there, in their heads, but they won’t see it yet.

No rain, reservoir levels drop. So the reservoirs that supply their tap water are refilled by… rain. Which they have now been told is poisonous. So they dare not drink tap water either.

Cue the bottled water merchants. ‘Oh this is safe, it’s bottled water’. It’s the same water as they get from the taps but it’s safe because it’s in a bottle. Think people won’t fall for it? Try the ‘nicotine in tobacco is deadly but nicotine in patches and gum is perfectly safe’ game. That one worked a treat, didn’t it? It’ll be the same game but with water.

So now you dare not drink tap water and absolutely will never touch stream or rain water so your only source of water is commercial bottled water. Which is, of course, definitely not free. It’s the same water but you are totally dependent on the bottled supply. Can’t afford it? Social credit score too low to let you buy it? Well then you die of dehydration. Comply or die.

I would have been concerned about the report on ‘poison rain’ if it hadn’t appeared at the same time that Mad Hancock was expressing concern over a two day ‘drought’ and the MSM were selling pictures of the annual harvest as dessicated fields of dead grass. In this context I can only dismiss the ‘poison rain’ as all part of the general bollocks pushed by the Church of Climatology and if the forecast heavy rain really does arrive next week, I will expect to see ‘climate change is flooding us all’ being hyped as if the mythical drought never happened.

If you are dependent on anyone else for water, you are under absolute control. Don’t fall for it.

16 thoughts on “Hydrophobia

  1. The hydro electric companies still collect their subsidies by magically finding enough rain water. See G.B. National Grid Status.
    But of course they never go full whack, because producers of large amounts of electricity do not yet full subsidy. Eh?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. What? Crops are turning yellow? Noooo! We’re all going to starve!
    Water from the tap? If we turn on the cold tap in the kitchen it smells as if someone has shat in the sink – and taste just as good.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Apart from leaking and antiquated pipework, most UK reservoirs have been neglected. Quite a few have been sold for redevelopment (housing), many are in a poor state and therefore have limited capacity. And ONE new reservoir is being constructed presently – the first for 30 years.
    It’s the usual story of mismanagement by big businesses – they get away with cutting investment and maintenance because they’re never prosecuted successfully for their misdemeanors.
    Adding more dwellings in the SE is madness – the area’s already short of water. Either an effing great big pipe system should transport water to the SE, or the extra dwellings should be built where there’s enough. Unfortunately, this would require joined-up thinking by government, so…

    Liked by 1 person

      • Actually we already have a fairly decent water transport system, that is to say the 200 year old canal system. All that needs doing is to put in a few more canals to link up Kielder Water with the main system (which will be welcomed by the public as canals are very nice for boating on, and walking beside) and hey presto, water can be transported from the north where there’s lots of it to the south, where there isn’t quite so much.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Sounds good, but canal boats could not proceed against water flow of more than a few knots. And lock sluices would have to be fully opened, so it would be water supply or boats, not both.

          Liked by 1 person

    • Some years ago, during the dark ages of our membership of the EUSSR, we planned to extend a number of reservoirs and construct a new one. Our Franco/Bavarian masters decreed that we must cease this disruptive activity. The reason given that we cannot have water shortages if there is no shortage. This was reported on the esteemed blog by Peter North, EUreferendum, and mentioned by his mate in the Telegraph. Sorry, I can’t recall the Telegraph journalist’s name, he passed away a few years ago.


  4. I live in the driest part of England, East Anglia re rainfall. We do not have a hosepipe ban because all the fens are wash with water as are the irrigation ditches around the fields. Ironic really. We had a day of rain after the previous heatwave and a few showers the next day. We had a night rainfall about 4 days ago. Dry since then. Still no hosepipe ban. My lawn is yellow. No mowing for weeks. The trees are still full of green leaves in the garden and we have a bumper crop of apples and pears. I also found out how soil was created during the Devonian period by examining my drive and the plants seemingly thrusting through the tarmac. They weren’t. They had rooted in soil created by moss over many years. Very interesting. Have now cleaned up driveway.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Moss is a big problem here too. It’s damp most of the time so it grows very well indeed. I didn’t scrape it off the concrete part of the drive for a while, lockdowns meant nobody was visiting anyway, and last week I had to scrape up an entire damn ecosystem with grass, clover and weeds. The moss comes first, then the others, and it doesn’t take too long if the moss stays damp.
      Unfortunately it’s a lot easier to scrape it off if it’s been dry for a while, and that doesn’t happen often here… My next job is to try to stop the moss replacing my lawn!


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