Treeskull Stories, done in time for Halloween

It’s done. Amazon currently list the paperback and Kindle versions separately but they will merge the listings in a few days.

Other eBook formats are available from Smashwords, and hopefully I’ll figure out how to get through Smashwords’ anthology rules to reach a wider audience. It’s easy with single author books but has become a chore with anthologies like this.

I have to work out how to sell eBooks direct. I can get them converted into all kinds of formats and really the whole thing could be automated so readers can get copies when I’m asleep. Print books, well, I’d have to keep a stock of those and have no idea how well any particular one will sell, so that’s a risk. I can leave that side of things to Amazon.

Right. Couple of days to catch up on sleep and then back to it. There’s lots to do…

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Antifat demands more money

Not a misspelling. The anti-obesity Puritans now say that ‘junk’ food companies have far bigger advertising budgets than they have. Therefore they cannot compete. Well, boo hoo.

First of all, they are not supposed to be competing with private companies. They, like most modern ‘charities’, are funded by Government to give Government new ways to be oppressive, totalitarian bastards.

Secondly, I do not care how much money any private company spends on advertising. It’s not my money, never was and never will be. It’s not being paid for by squeezing taxes out of the rest of us. If you buy their products then you’re adding to their profits but that is entirely your choice.

Nobody is forced to buy any of those products. They do not come round and force-feed you chicken nuggets and canned spaghetti hoops then rifle through your pockets for money. They simply make products available for those who want them. Advertising is their way of telling us all that the product is available. You can ignore ads, you know. Only a gullible idiot would consider advertising as any kind of ‘forcing’.

Antifat, on the other hand, get their money from Government which takes it from us by force. If you don’t hand over a chunk of the money you worked for to a bunch of self-important entitled suits in Wastemonster, they will put you in jail and take the money anyway,

That is why I do not care at all about the £143 million spent by food companies on advertising. They aren’t making me contribute a penny towards it. I care a hell of a lot about the £5.2 million wasted on keeping jumped-up prodnoses in a cushy job because I am forced to contribute to that.

It annoys me immensely and I’m not even overweight. It annoys me because it’s another arm of the Smoker Hate and Booze Hate that I’ve also been forced into contributing to.

There are already strict rules on advertising food ‘to children’ (who have limited to zero means of buying any of it) and yet it’s never enough, is it? As with all the other Puritans we pay for, there’s always another increment, another slice of the salami. And now they will tie in nicely with Tessie Maybe’s long-held desire to control the Internet harder than China does.

All this crap has to go. We’d pay less tax and the NHS would have more funds if all this shit were swept away.

And we could have a bag of chips without watching out for the prodnoses.

Treeskull Stories in press at last

I have gone through the tortuous process of loading the third Underdog Anthology onto Amazon (print and Kindle) and Smashwords (eBook in various formats). It’ll take a day or so to start showing up. Finally I can call this one ‘done’.

There are already six stories in for the Christmas anthology so that’s already a definite. There might or might not be an Easter one next year, it depends on how much interest there is. Easter is a tough subject, much more than Halloween or Christmas. Still, you never know.

I’ll post links as soon as it becomes available. Meanwhile, there’s work to do…

Update – Forgot to mention, the print copies will sell at £4.25. I’ve set fixed prices on the print version to see how well that works out. It’s a good one to try it with because there are no royalties to worry about – if it hits zero or negative profit, nobody else is affected.

The Kindle version is tied to the dollar price so it’ll vary depending on the exchange rates.

Oh, and the full cover looks like this –

Remember, only the print version has interior illustrations.

Calling in souls

There was an enjoyable film called ‘Wishmaster’ some years ago. There was also a sequel. Maybe more.

In this film, a Djinn was released into the world by an unsuspecting person and it was to grant them three wishes. On the granting of the third wish, the rest of the Djinn would be free to take this world. That’s the basic plot.

Of course, Djinn aren’t in any way friendly so if you wish for a million dollars, you’ll get it when a relative dies after naming you as beneficiary on their insurance. There’s always a catch.

The Djinn can also grant wishes to others, just one wish, and it seems to be free. It’s not.

When you accept the proceeds of the wish, you grant the Djinn your soul. The Djinn will call that in later.

That’s the film, it’s fiction, it’s fun and it’s not real. It’s a Hollywood take on an ancient legend. It doesn’t happen in real life.

Does it?

Suppose you believe yourself at either extreme of a scale. Righteously privileged, allowing you to call others privileged and lay your guilt on them. Or feeling oppressed and playing victim.

Suppose you get all the support you need from a benefactor who asks nothing in return, only that you believe in what they want you to believe.

Free wishes, and they come true. Who could say no? Hardly anyone did.

The souls are being called in. Hollywood is first. I didn’t expect that. I thought Islam would be first. It makes sense though. Keeping the Hollywood wishes going is expensive and they really aren’t useful any more. Nobody is listening now. Islam costs very little really, they do it anyway, you just have to let them. You can’t not listen. They keeel you! Except… Islam has accepted the wish of the Djinn. They don’t know it yet.

Even there, Islam is not getting such an easy ride any more. Ire is rising and the protection is pulling back. Those souls are not yet ripe for collection. They get a bit more time.

The LGBTXYZ(runes)(numbers) movement is done. It’s fragmenting under pressure to accept insanities like 57 varieties of gender and paedonormalisation. Real gay people are abandoning it in droves while police and fire services embrace the rainbow. Which, like the word ‘gay’, meant something different and innocuous in my lifetime.

We can now be arrested for saying all of that if anyone, anywhere, defines it as hate speech. What will that do? It’ll drive us to TOR and underground and eventually spark another civil war. Is that what you want?

Trump seems to be a spanner in the works. As does the Austrian election result. They are not. They are all part of the plan. Hilarious Clinton was never going to win, I mean, come on, even Democrat voters know she’s a shrieking psycho harpy. The Democrats never intended to win or they would have put up a potential president, not a lunatic.

Likewise in the UK, if Labour really wanted to win, who is the worst possible leader they could have chosen? Jerry Cordite, the IRA’s cheerleader dancing with short skirt and pom-poms.

I know, it’s a horrible image to put in your head. But it’s nearly Halloween and you might be looking for dress-up ideas.

Our alternative was Tessie Maybe, the authoritarian ex-Home Secretary who emasculated the police, who wanted a DNA database of everyone and who wanted total control of the internet. She still wants those things.

Same thing in the US. You want straw haired fat boy or the banshee from hell? That’s your choice. Vote. Not the best of choices, was it?

Ah, poor Hilary. Sounding more and more like a whining loser every day. They say the Clintons’ enemies are suddenly found as suicides. So are those your bosses no longer need, Hilary. Did you think you were in the top rank? Really? Bohemian Grove is no place for a woman. Just saying…

Inconvenient people often commit suicide, don’t they? It happens all over the place.

They say the ones at the top, the mysterious ‘them’, are all Satanists. I don’t think Satan exists, at least not in the Biblical sense. But they do believe and they base their actions on that belief.

It’s not Satan, real or imaginary, that is dangerous. It’s the people who believe he is.

Halloween is coming. Samheim. An important date for these people. And the soul collecting is accelerating. LGBT(whatever) is fragmenting and is supportive of, while being diametrically opposite to, Islam (apart from the baby-fucking part which even the BBC thinks is justifiable). Right wing governments are taking control all over the place. Islam is not so well defended by the idiot progressives. The protected gays are fragmenting. Feminism is being broken by radical transgerderism. The darker skinned people are determined to bring hate upon themselves. Chaos is coming.

It’s all been set up. All of it. All part of the plan. Nobody panics when it’s all part of the plan.

But now, if you were part of the plan, it’s payback time. They’re calling you in.

Harvey? He was just the beginning.

Does that sound like someone hinted at this before?

 

Tease

I’ll have to tease a little longer on ‘Treeskull Stories’. I had a late entry, hours before the deadline but as it was before the deadline I had to deal with it. It’s good, so it’s in. Just waiting for the ‘About the Author’ page for that one and we’re ready to roll. It’s possible that I will have author copies in the authors’ hands in time for Halloween this year. This one topped 130 pages, not too shabby and should be cheap.

Here’s the contents list (now finalised) –

Foreword

Lee Bidgood
Cobalt Blue

Stephen W. Duffy
All Change

Mark Ellott
Tout Passé, Tout Cassé, Tout Lassé
Ghost Riders
The Eagle

Roo B. Doo
Trick or Treat

Justin Sunshine
Casual Labour

H. K. Hillman
Bernie’s Bargain
The Macbeth Trio
Oak and Holly

Afterword

As I’ve said, the interior illustrations will only be in the print book. The eBook will, as usual, contain the back cover from the print book but the illustrations really only work as facing-page images at the start of each story. Also, it’s a pain in the arse trying to get all e-readers to accept them.

The Christmas anthology is building up, I’m going to take a few days off dead once the Halloween one is in but then it’s back to full speed. I’m accepting stories for that one now.

Meanwhile, I have a 100,000 word novel to go through and some fast ones. An abridged Cultish from Hugo Stone, a French book of stories from Dirk Vleugels and a collection of all the Morning Cloud stories from Mark Ellott – including the new Christmas one. All of these are pretty much completed and just need formatting. ‘Jessica’s Trap’ and ‘Samuel’s Girl’ only need new covers and they can go out too. I’ll mesh this with novel editing so there should be a raft of books coming out in time for Christmas.

There has been a real blast of spam on the blog of late. None of it gets through, but where I usually have around 3 or 4 spam messages a day, today I’ve had over 100. All on one post. ‘Why Big Food Will Lose‘.

I don’t see why that post in particular is one someone would want shut down. The spam isn’t even about food. Most of it is blocks of meaningless drivel or adverts for Viagra. Nothing to do with the subject matter.

Meh. The spam filter is doing its job. I’ll check before deleting to make sure no innocent bystanders get caught by the Spaminator while it’s in its current killing frenzy. Still, I do wonder – why that post? I thought it was pretty unremarkable.

Then again, maybe I’m assuming too much intelligence in that spammer’s head. Maybe they just spam at random.

24 hours to go…

I have now formatted the print and Kindle versions of Treeskull Stories, the third Underdog Anthology, but there is still time for a last minute addition. 24 hours of time. I don’t mind delaying publication by a day or so to include another story but no more than that. If there’s nothing to add, I’ll start uploading just after midnight tomorrow night.

All author contracts are signed, all formalities complete. If you sent in something and have not heard from me then it’s gone missing somewhere. Let me know if that’s happened!

There are interior illustrations in the print version but not in the eBook versions. There’s a simple reason for this – interior pictures are incredibly awkward to get to display properly on all the different sized screens out there so I’m not doing it. Besides, those who buy the print book pay more for it, so there should be a perk, I feel.

I’ll put it on Smashwords and try getting through their new and bizarre rules on anthologies. Sooner or later I’m bound to work out exactly what they want.

24 hours to crunch time. Roobeedoo did suggest it would be appropriate to publish a Halloween anthology on Friday 13th but considering the chaos I had with the Easter one, I’m not chancing that! Besides, I set a deadline of midnight GMT on the 14th and I’m obliged to stick to that.

In the meantime I’m working on expanding my collection of empty whisky bottles with a new one. Glenallachie, a Speyside single malt from Aberlour, Scotland. Might be part of the Aberlour stable of whiskies or might be a separate distillery, I don’t yet know for sure. It’s very nice although on the pricey side (not the ‘aarrgh!’ level of pricing, but the ‘think about it a bit’ level) so I probably won’t get it very often. It’s good to try out new whiskies though.

Any stories that miss out on this one, if you can give it a Christmas slant, that anthology will close on December 1st. I’ll need extra time to deal with the Christmas chaos.

In between, there are other books to deal with.

Here’s another of the interior images, a clue to the story. I’ll post one more before publication of the book.

{update} Done. One late entry just before the deadline but it’s already edited and inserted. The book will get uploaded tomorrow (Sunday) and as long as there are no issues it will be available well before Halloween.

Four days

I have assembled the Treeskull Stories into its earliest stage and sent it to the authors so they can check their parts of it. It does mean all authors get to see the whole (so far) book but they all get a copy or more anyway and since I can’t yet pay much, any perks are always a bonus. So far it’s weighing in at roughly 120 pages depending on how the formatting pans out and whether any more stories arrive.

I have to close this one on the 14th October. It has to be ready to be ordered and arrive in time for Halloween. After Halloween, people won’t be so interested and will be looking for Christmas books. I think we should have a Christmas book. It might not be quite what they expect.

I tried to do one last year but ran out of time and didn’t have enough stories unless I filled it with mine. That would have made it a ‘H. K. Hillman with supporting features’ book. I’m not interested in that. It’s not what Leg Iron Books is about.

This year the Christmas anthology is looking much better and I’ll be ready to start taking more stories for it on the 14th October. It will close on the 1st December because the Christmas period is chaotic and it will need to be ready early.

So if you have a Halloween story, it has to get to me by midnight on the 14th or I can’t do it. I need a couple of days to edit it and find/make an illustration for it and then fit it into the contents. I also have to set up the internal links for the eBook, which isn’t hard, but takes time.

The Treeskull Stories have already passed my 100 page limit for being worth the work of publishing. It’s a definite go. There is room for more, if you have one.

But please don’t send it at five to midnight on the 14th because a load of other people might do the same. Then I’d have to go with whoever gets there first.

Christmas stories for the next one, the deadline is midnight on December 1st.

That’s GMT for all times, by the way.