The laws that aren’t

Many people regard the saying ‘the customer is always right’ as if it’s a law. It’s not. It’s company policy at Marks and Spencer. It applies to no other business, anywhere, unless the business chooses to implement it.

I wouldn’t recommend it. It attracts the most arrogant, self-righteous, pompous bastards to your shop where they know they can behave like spoiled brats and be pandered to. It also wrecks staff morale because if the customer is always right, then by extension the staff member they are arguing with is always wrong. High staff turnover and eternal training costs are the natural consequence.

It’s not a law, no matter how many people think it is. Any other shop can tell you to piss off and never return and there is not a damn thing you can do about it.

Via @Dick_Puddlecote on Twitter, it seems there is a non-law that says nonsmokers can’t be sold Electrofags. Oh, some bunch of self-important Public Health arseholes spent a lot of time and taxpayer’s money ‘secret shopping’ in vape shops. Will they sell it to us if we don’t smoke?

//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

It’s a vape shop. The only customers who go inside are ones who want to buy an Electrofag. So the shopkeeper doesn’t ask if they already smoke. Indeed, they are not allowed to sell Electrofag as a stop-smoking aid so asking if the customer smokes could be seen as a violation of that rule. They are only required to check the customer is over 18. Electrofag sellers have always done that. There was never any need to force them to do it.

This ridiculous farce is no different to a vegan group secret shopping in a butcher’s and then getting all uppity because the butcher will sell meat to vegans. The butcher will sell meat to anyone who wants it. It’s a meat shop. If you don’t want meat, don’t go in there.

I’ve never been inside a New Look shop. They sell women’s clothes. I don’t want any. Should I go in and buy something then call the newspapers because they sold a bra to a man? It’s really no different to what Public Health have just done.

In all the years I’ve been smoking, I have never once been asked if I’m a smoker or non-smoker when buying baccy. Can we expect ASH and Public Health to raid Tesco and Morrison’s next, because they went in and asked for a pack of cigarettes and the retailer neglected to ask if they smoked? I think the retail response would be ‘if they don’t want to smoke them, why did they want to buy them?’

Every smoker once bought his or her first pack of cigarettes (in my case it was cigars) and every vaper once bought their first Electrofag. So now some people want to skip the smoking part and go straight to Electrofag. Well why not? Would Public Health really prefer them to start on tobacco and then switch to steam?

Honestly. Politicians listen to what these people say, you know. Unquestioningly. It’s seriously time to apply a minimum IQ to anyone wanting to stand for election because we are being led by utter cretins.

As for the medics, well, I have no faith at all in modern medicine. They used to employ intelligent medics but no longer, it seems. Now all you need to become a medic is the ability to absorb indoctrination and to shut down the analytical part of your mind in order to qualify. Where we once had medics, we now have drones. They just think what they are told to think and they diagnose based on personal prejudice rather than medicine.

If only the medics and politicians could see all the parasites stuck to them. ASH serves no purpose beyond being a new Smoker Inquisition. All the lifestyle dictators in the NHS are the reason it’s always short of medical staff and medicines. Get the parasites out, get proper doctors and nurses in, and we’ll have a damn good health service again.

Physicians, heal thyselves.

Now we are told that crisps are evil. Full of deadly things like fat and salt and… acrylamide.

Oh there’s no law on acrylamide content. There are guidelines but not a law. As for crisps, well, is there anyone out there who thinks crisps are health food? They are a snack. A small snack, a fraction of a potato in a bag. There might be a lot of fat and salt and other crap as a proportion of the weight of crisps in a bag, but the total weight really isn’t very much. Diluted by one human body, even a small one, it amounts to bugger all.

This is the same game as ‘there are 600 deadly chemicals in a cigarette’. A typical cigarette contains 0.6g of tobacco. Ignore the fact that most of it is cellulose (it’s made of leaves, I feel I have to point that out considering the level of intelligence we have to deal with in government and medicine these days) and let’s pretend it’s 0.6g of just the deadly chemicals.

Let’s also pretend there is no ash residue and nothing at all comes off as smoke.

That gives us 0.006g of each deadly chemical. The reality is far, far smaller than that. Scared? I’m not. I’m more scared of diesel fumes on a busy street – and I’m not that scared of those either. Okay, that’s partly because I live on a farm at least 11 miles from a town of any size, but I don’t feel the need to cover my face when visiting the town.

I don’t often eat crisps but when I do, I don;t worry about the salt and fat content. I’m not going to worry about acrylamide in crisps because I like the crispy bits on the outside of roast meat. I know there will be many daft sods out there who will be scared. Including every single politician and medic.

The crisp story doesn’t scare me at all because when you change the percentages into real quantities eaten, they amount to… bugger all. Just like the deadly stuff in smoke. Just like the evil thickening agent (no, idiots, it’s NOT antifreeze) that’s food grade and found in yogurts and loads of other things.

Yet again, the news is up in arms over the breaking of a law that isn’t. The idea behind it all, of course, is to make it law. The general zombie population won’t even notice because they already thought it was a law.

And, once vape shops have to check if you’re a smoker before they sell you Electrofag, Tesco will have to check if you’re a smoker before they sell you any tobacco. Having watched how these evil bastards work for decades, their next logical step isn’t hard to work out.

Then you won’t be able to buy drink unless you can prove you’re a drinker… and so on. They can’t stop us so they’ll kill us off by attrition. Nonsmokers will never be able to take up smoking or vaping, nondrinkers will never be able to buy booze. I know, I can feel the shrugs now. If you don’t smoke and/or drink now, why would you?

I’m not talking about you. I’m talking about those currently growing up who might be looking forward to turning 18 so they can try these things. In the future the only way they’ll get to try them will be to buy totally unregulated stuff from criminal gangs.

Won’t happen? Public Health and ASH and the rest of the nannies will tell you it won’t happen.

Like it didn’t happen when heroin and cocaine were made illegal…

Basically, in the future, all your kids are fucked. You think the Righteous care?

They’re doing it on purpose.

Seven thousand nothings

There are now seven thousand chemicals in tobacco, and the same number of chemicals in the smoke from a cigarette. The educationally challenged will believe this without question because they want to. They want to hate someone – anyone – and smokers are the easiest target today.

It’s how Hitler won Germany, by blaming it all on the Jews. How the Spanish Inquisition did so well, by blaming all evil on Protestants and Muslims. In the 1600s it was imaginary witches and these days it’s white man bad, everyone else good. Oh, and smokers are obviously stupid.

Obviously, because we question how 7000 chemicals can even be measured in the 0.6g of tobacco in the average cigarette.

We question how a little bit of dry leaf, which is mostly cellulose (made of glucose and not carcinogenic in any shape or form) can contain so many chemicals and all at detectable, never mind measurable levels.

Plant cell walls are made of cellulose which is a polymer of glucose. Dried, at least half of what you have there is cellulose so really we are talking about 7000 chemicals in 0.3 grams.

Okay, they probably include cellulose as a chemical so 6999 in 0.3 g, but we’ll round up to 7000 because they made the number up in the first place anyway. Ah, I remember when it was only 600.

And we’ll be generous and give them 0.5g of chemicals per fag because it makes the numbers easier, and no less ridiculous.

If antismokers had a brain between them they would realise that these deadly chemicals are present at 1/14000th of a gram per cigarette. Oh but wait – they don’t claim 7000 deadly chemicals. Just 7000 chemicals. Probably about the same number you’d find in lettuce or celery or… anything with a leaf on it.

Oh sure, you can take a kilo of tobacco and maybe find 7000 different chemicals (all of them naturally occurring because we are talking about leaves) if you include all the metabolic bits in there but almost all are harmless.

Oh and you won’t find road tar in there. That’s bitumen. From oil, not leaves. If you burn that and inhale the fumes you won’t get to your 20 a day today  😉

Yet smokers are stupid? You think that only 1/14000th of a gram of something that’s mostly harmless is deadly and you call me stupid?

Most of the material in a cigarette ends up as ash. The smoke is a tiny part of the total weight. It contains the magical 7000 chemicals too. We are talking micrograms now and still they want to divide it into 7000 undetectable little bits and claim it will kill you.

Death by homeopathy.

Comparatively, smoking in itself is far less dangerous than going outside to a busy street full of petrol and diesel fumes, and that is what the haters have made us do. So when we all get respiratory problems from the traffic fumes they can blame it on smoking and keep selling oil.

I’m not saying smoking is good for you. I don’t smoke to improve my health, I smoke because I enjoy it. I’ve been doing it for 35 years and have no ill effects. Is it as harmful as they claim? Hard to tell, when pretty much anything a smoker gets wrong with them is instantly blamed on smoking.

This wave of antismoking really took off big time with the introduction of NRT. You know, the patches and gum with the pitiful success rate that are pushed so hard by the antismoking crowd. They don’t like Electrofag because they get no back-handers from the Electrofag companies. Yet that has a much better success rate than the Pharmer drugs. Even I have a few that I use from time to time. They still don’t have tobacco flavour quite right although the menthol is pretty good.

Now they want a tax on Electrofags ‘to stop children buying them’ even though they are already not for sale to under 18s. Electrofags are already taxed. There’s VAT on them. What the Righteous want is a cut of the action, they want more money funneled their way so they can keep pushing their non-working methods that keep us all smoking and keep the gravy train on the rails.

If we all stop smoking, the antismokers are out of a job. They don’t want any successful cessation devices spoiling their easy ride.

Here’s a tip for the antismokers and the medics too. If you want people to listen to you, don’t make utterly farcical claims that anyone with half a brain can rip to shreds in a matter of moments.

When you get caught in a lie, people start to wonder if anything you say is true.

 

Another attack of the Vapers

I was going to write some starting rules on the story collection idea tonight but Dick Puddlecote seems to have started a minor flame war. Just a little one. I’ll set up some loose and flexible story rules later. It’s not going to be suitable for children, because I’ll have a story in it.

In my self appointed role as internet Liverpudlian (calm down, calm down, dey do dough don’t dey dough) I thought I’d sidle up to the little fire and see if I can turn it into a conflagration.

antisocial

It all started when DP posted a rant by Clive Bates demanding that vapers be left alone now they’ve given up the real thing and taken up some synthetic steam based nicotine gadgetry instead.

Simon Clark took considerable exception to the post, and Grandad wasn’t happy either. Frank Davis took a rather less excitable view, as a good smoker should.

Like Frank, I own several Electrofags and even tried the cigar version (didn’t like that one, it was so big it gave the impression of sucking a dildo and I am not risking photos of that!). I never intended stopping smoking and still don’t, but the range of flavours available means I keep them and still get them out once in a while. I like the idea of ‘smoking’ absinthe or brandy or apple pie. I heard about one new Electrofag that holds three different flavours of ejuice at once and you can switch between them. Link is coming as soon as I get it.

I don’t think it’s possible to get tobacco flavour right. There are so many different tobaccos and blends. A smoker who prefers Marlboro will notice that Embassy don’t taste the same. It’s simply not possible to produce a generic ‘tobacco flavour’ that will make all smokers instantly think ‘Oh brilliant, my dreams are answered’. Can’t be done.

And then there’s the whole lighter thing and the real smoke and well, all of it. I like smoking and I am never going to be ashamed or embarrassed to admit it.

It does amuse me when one of the girls at work comes outside with us smokers then pulls out an Electrofag and tells us how much better it is. Uh… you’re out here in the cold and the drizzle too, or hadn’t you noticed? Out here in the delivery bay next to a main road watching the trucks drive in and out, shivering and getting damp and breathing traffic fumes. Really, the difference between my baccy smoke and your steam is insignificant in this situation.

Okay, it’s a food shop. I don’t recall ever seeing anyone smoking in a food shop in the last 56 years (to the day ;)). So I would not ever expect to be allowed to smoke in a food shop and would probably be mildly shocked if someone did puff smoke at the Parma ham. Yet vaping is not smoking so the vaper girl, as far as I can see, causes no issues if she vapes inside. Okay, maybe not in the shop, but in the staffroom I see no problem.

The Dreadful Arnott and the rest of the vehement anti-people brigade see a problem. It looks like smoking! Horror! If they saw that electronic cigar they’d faint. It looks like smoking and like low grade kinky porn at the same time. All I’d have to do would be to fill it with brandy and dip it in salt and the Righteous would spontaneously combust.

I know A Certain Someone is going to suggest filling it with cream. No. Just… no, okay?

It’s still NO.

I don’t call Clive Bates a Righteous. Why not? Because he stopped, and the Righteous never stop. He drew a line in the sand and said ‘No more’. Okay, it rings hollow as Simon Clark says because of the past but as Doolittle said to Bomb 20, the concept is valid no matter where it originates.

 

 

Clive drew his line in the wrong place and much too far along the beach, as Grandad said, but he did draw that line. For the true Righteous, like the Dreadful Arnott, there is no line. Ever. It never stops for them. One day they will arrest children for chewing on a pencil because it looks like smoking and they will still not be satisfied.

Clive Bates would be happy to stop with smokers becoming vapers. In my case at least he can take that idea, write it down, roll it up tight in glasspaper, tie it with barbed wire and ram it up his arse but even so, he does have a place where he would be happy to stop. That’s enough to rescind his Righteous badge.

I know Clive was once head of ASH. I know he was in there with the daft ‘passive smoking’ nonsense. He resigned because the madness crossed his line in the sand. He had a place he wanted to get to and then stop and it became clear ASH wasn’t ever going to stop. I think he actually resigned before the invention of Electrofag.

I really think Clive Bates does believe it is about health. It isn’t, it never was, but I think he believed it. Maybe now he’s starting to see the light.

Maybe he can now see the monster he helped create.

More smoke tax

As if there isn’t enough already…

Cancer Research UK (CRUK)  today demanded that the government ‘make the tobacco industry pay for the damage it causes and help reduce the number of people killed by its deadly product’ by slapping a levy of 20 pence on a standard pack of cigarettes.

A deadly product. An entire industry of killing people. Do they want it made illegal? Of course not.

As this fine rant points out (tipped by our visiting librarian), CRUK and their gangster pals don’t ever want tobacco banned. They don’t ever want the number of smokers to reduce to zero. How will they explain cancer and every other illness then? Who will pay for the smoking cessation industry when nobody smokes? They’ll all be out of a job, and their decades of lies will be exposed when nobody smokes and people still die anyway.

Cigarettes are already taxed at 400% of their basic price. And you can’t smoke them anywhere. Yet they are not illegal and nobody is asking for them to be made illegal. They just want tighter and tighter controls. They just want more and more tax, more and more control, and it will never stop because our leaders are gullible, compliant idiots who just do as the bullies direct.

CRUK, ASH and all the rest are shitting themselves over Electrofag. Not because it’s dangerous – it quite obviously isn’t – but because smokers are moving over to it and ignoring the stupid patches, gum and suicide pills that never worked anyway. I have several Electrofags. They are fun gadgets.

I haven’t moved over completely to vaping because I like the real ones. I don’t take Electrofag to work because I’d still have to go outside to use it and if I have to go outside anyway, I’m having a real one.

Sure, the risks are bound to be less with steam than with smoke but the risks of smoke were always way overhyped anyway. The human race grew up in fire and smoke. In caves, in smoky huts and cottages, and until very recently indeed in houses with coal fires. Smoke didn’t kill us off. It was always part of our lives.

In fact it could well be the sudden lack of it that’s causing our recent health problems, but no scientist would dare investigate that. Most can’t even bring themselves to consider the possibility.

So, we now have a whole lobby trying to kill off Electrofag. No surprise. It ‘looks like smoking’ and involves people enjoying themselves which is not allowed. The tobacco industry don’t want this competitor. The antismokers don’t want to let their favourite whipping boys escape. The huge smoking cessation industry could be put out of work! They all want to get rid of Electrofag.

None of them want to get rid of smokers. They all depend on our continued existence.

Really, vapers, you are going to get it a lot worse than smokers ever did. They just like to beat us up once in a while. They want you lot exterminated. We did try to warn you…

We also said right from the start that the tobacco template would be applied to other disapproved-of things. Booze, naturally. It’s a standard Puritan target every time. Food too. You can’t have the good stuff. Eat only a bowl of grain mashed in water once a day and you too will enter Heaven. Probably quite soon.

The Cameroid is now seriously considering a sugar tax. Naturally the tea supply in the House of Commons will have tax-free sugar and MPs will be able to claim the cost of their home sugar on expenses. It’s not for them. It’s for us. As always.

Yet more tax on tobacco. More on booze soon, as sure as night follows day. Tax on sugar and salt. Unless you’re an MP, in which case the taxes everyone else pays will subsidise your rampant excesses. And they wonder why fewer and fewer people bother to vote now.

It’s all built on a house of cards. Fake science, spin, denial of facts and replacement with made-up rubbish that only an MP could be stupid enough to believe. Nobody checks. Nobody calls the bilious morons to account. They just accept the pronouncements that have been made up on the spot to suit a farcical agenda.

I hope I’m still around when this lot falls apart. It always does, every time. This is a very big house of cards and when it comes down it’s going to be worth watching.

It only takes a nudge on the bottom layer.

 

Welcome back to denormalisation

I’d like to start 2016 by wishing everyone a Happy New Year but in reality we still have the same dickheads in charge and the same unelected control freaks keeping the drones in a state of being perpetually offended and terrified about nothing at all.

Oh and vapers, we kept your seat warm here on the naughty step because as predicted all that time ago, you’re back with us smokers. Cozying up to the antismokers, joining in with the smokerphobia, didn’t help at all, did it? We did try to warn you.

Yes, I know, not all vapers fell for the propaganda but those who did were very vocal about it. Some still are. Some still think the Puritans are on their side now that they have moved of from what they call ‘analogue’ smoking to the modern digital Electrofag. Eventually they’ll get the idea.

Electrofag is now as deadly as smoking (CStM found this link and is ultimately responsible for my writing this post). It’s crap of course. Steam is not smoke, and Electrofag vapour disperses harmlessly in the air within moments. Nothing is burning, there are no combustion products and no smoke particles of any kind at all. And yet the drones will believe they will die of steam as surely as they believe they will die if they see a cigarette display in a a shop. Prepare to have your Electrofags consigned to the Doors of Shame just like the rest of us.

In this New Year we will be treated to the spectacle of the NHS supplying Electrofag (yes, vapers, you are about to become a ‘cost to the NHS’ for your ‘filthy habit’ just as you thought you’d escaped that accusation) while the Gubblement pretend it isn’t happening so we smokers don’t all rush to get a free Electrofag.

Well, let’s see, the last Electrofag I bought was in Poundland. I paid one shiny British pound for the entire kit and one pound each for some replacement heater/container/mouthpiece things (vapers will no doubt sneer at my lack of knowledge of the jargon). So really, ‘free on the NHS’ doesn’t make a big difference when you can get the basic kit really cheap anyway. There won’t be a rush.

I have several versions of Electrofag now and NHS or no, if I was going to switch I would already have done so. I haven’t and I’m not likely to. Especially not under medical lifestyle supervision.

Meanwhile, just as the NHS roll out their ‘Electrofag is Good’ campaign, the EU roll out their ‘Electrofag is deadly and we’re banning it‘ campaign. Starting with those deemed to be ‘too strong’ and then once those are gone, the next level down will be ‘too strong’ and so on. Logic and common sense have no place in politics nor in modern medicine, it seems.

And yet the Electrofag itself, the actual gadget, has no ‘strength’ at all in terms of vaping. It all depends on the juice you put in it. Banning the gadget means nothing, it’s a pretty simple device and homemade ones are no doubt already out there. The internet has instructions on making your own juice – you can do it from bought baccy or grow your own – and the device is really just a battery and heater. Try the glow plugs from model aircraft engines for the heater.

Still bans must be imposed because that’s all governments do nowadays and it’s the only manner of preventive medicine open to a medical fraternity that the Middle Ages alchemists would laugh at.

It all boils down to ‘do as you are told’. It doesn’t matter to the control freaks what you are told, as long as you do it. Whether it is good for you or not is of no relevance. They want you to dance to their tune even when their tune is a discordant cacophony of contradiction and nonsense. In fact, the more contradictory and nonsensical the better. It’s more fun to watch the drones jump one way then the other without a single questioning thought crossing their dusty, little-used minds.

The Dutch intend to ban vaping for under 18s even though I can’t recall a single vape-seller who would sell to under 18s anyway. Even the Poundland one was age restricted. Right from the beginning, Electrofag sellers insisted on only selling to over 18s. Will under 18s get hold of them?

Of course they will. They get real smokes and they get booze and they get drugs I can’t even get. Electrofag being banned will just make it all the more enticing. They’ll get it.

Then we can hear all over again how inhaling steam will make the cheeeldren crave real smoke. Cobblers. Inhaling traffic fumes is probably a lot closer to real smoking and much more harmful too. Yet that seems to be pretty much okay with the medics, the politicians and the rest of the Puritan mindless horde.

Still it’s New Year so I shouldn’t end on a gloomy note. I’ve often said the Electrofag produces great smoke rings even though it isn’t real smoke. It does, every one I’ve tried makes good, coherent smoke rings. Usually a good few from one mouthful too.

But I have never yet reached the pinnacle of this kind of skill. Yes, that’s in the same newspaper that insists Electrofag will save smokers and then kill everyone on the planet. Again, logic and common sense are things of the past. You have to laugh at it all because if you start taking it seriously you’ll die of gloom.

Happy New Year anyway.

 

 

Ashtray Domination

Today I drove into Aberdeen with two Samurai swords and a cattle trailer. On the way back I got stuck behind a windmill. An ordinary day, really.

Later I went in to work and got Boss to witness my signature on a lease. I’m finally doing what I should have done twenty or more years ago and it feels pretty damn good. It feels so much more than pretty damn good because I’m not doing it all on my own.

It’s pretty much a legally binding doodah now. I think the landlord has one last chance to say ‘No, fuck off you horrible little man’ but I doubt that will happen. My email saying I was interested in the flat was held up by spam for a day and I had one back saying ‘We can drop the rent by £10-20 a month if it will help’. I graciously accepted.

I’m pretty damn sure I have this flat and it’s a really nice one. The only bugbear is all the stairs but then it’s just a starting point. It’s not going to be forever. I want a little house with a garden and we’re agreed on that.

Maybe I won’t have a car for a while. The flat has a bus stop right outside the door, work would be 10 minutes away by bus and at a real pinch I could walk there in about 90 minutes. Not running a car for a few months would allow for some serious cash accumulation. Well worth considering. And my current car is pretty crap anyway.

One thing about the flat is that it’s non smoking. Well, I don’t own it. It’s the landlord’s flat so I’ll abide by his rules. It’s not a problem and it’s only for a matter of months. It’s probably too small to smoke in anyway. I’d have all my clothes smoked up. In this big house I can smoke in a couple of rooms without affecting the others but in a little flat, it could get pervasive.

There will, of course, be an ashtray. It will be the Bull Brand glass ashtray with the ‘no smoking’ sign in it. A delightful bit of cognitive dissonance. There has to be an ashtray. It’s the law.

It is on aeroplanes, apparently.

Aeroplanes are required to have ashtrays on board in case of something or other and they cannot take off without one. They should all fit the Bull Brand no-smoking ashtray. They only cost a pound. I hope they still make it. I have one anyway.

I was most amused by the picture of the enraged harpy raising the wrong finger at the guy with the unlit cigarette. Once, a wrinkled harridan passed me at a bus stop while I was rolling a cigarette and gave an exaggerated fake cough. I hadn’t even finished rolling. So the picture is at least accurate. The pathetically indoctrinated really do exist.

Then there is the ‘probably’ that is presented as fact.

An onboard fire probably caused by a cigarette led to the deaths of 123 people on a flight from Rio de Janeiro to Paris in the 1970s.

It could have been. Or it could have been caused by a million other things. Not one of those other things is even considered even though there is no firm evidence that a smoker caused the disaster. Even though, if there is an ashtray provided by legal diktat, why would a smoker chuck a cigarette in waste disposal? We all know how to use an ashtray. It’s a genetic thing.

I predict it won’t be long before a vaper is blamed for a plane crash. Lithium batteries have already been demonised so it’s just a matter of time before the Age of Steam takes its vengeance on modern technology.

How long before a plane crash gets blamed on the fat boy in seat 7B?

You think it’s different. It’s not. It’s the same template with the same agenda. Control.

And fat boys, for you it’s already started.

The Poundland Electrofag

Poundland now stock a clearomiser rechargeable Electrofag called 88vape for one single British pound. There are flavours of electrojuices for it, one pound each.

Who could resist?  Not me, I bought one and a bottle of menthol juice too. I never found the tobacco flavours to be any good but there is some consistency in menthol flavours.

For £2 you get this –

eletrofag1

Out of the boxes –

electrofag2

Poor picture quality I know, but this is a low cost post. The Electrofag comes with a USB charger that helpfully has the manufacturer’s name on it. No need to worry about whether it’s the right charger if you have more than one type, as I do. The battery arrived discharged so needed to charge up before use.

The build quality feels a bit cheap but then it is cheap. It has cost next to nothing. So don’t expect the same quality as a Really or the big ones that look like sonic smokedrivers. We are in basic land here. Still it does look and feel solid enough to be useable.

The instructions claim you should replace the  clearomiser every 6-8 weeks. Sod that. At these prices you can get a whole new Electrofag every week.

It works okay for me  The menthol juice is shite, I’ll try something better in it. However, the machinery works okay. It does what it says it’ll do, and that’s really all that matters.

The battery is 650 mAh which will have purists all in a tizzy but come on, one pound? Get real here. If that’s not enough power, just buy two or three. This won’t break the bank.

For the price, I am impressed. Get some decent juice in it and it has potential. Certainly for anyone thinking about trying their first Electrofag, it’s ideal.

What a pity the Puritans despise it as much as they do tobacco.