I’ve passed through on the train a few times but never actually visited. So I have no idea what it’s like to live there. The station is nice though.

Anyway, they have just elected another Labour MP. Let’s see if this one can manage to stay out of jail and out of controversy. The latter is unlikely, she’s already been hit with the antisemitism stick. The former… well, we’ll see.

The results.

Labour won it by around 680 votes, 2% of votes. Oh but if we add in the Tories and UKIP, Labour didn’t win it at all! Nah, I’m not going to play that childish game. In UK voting, the winner is the winner even if it’s by one vote after fifteen recounts. Labour won it. That’s how it works. I would say I don’t like it but since I don’t live in Peterborough, nor even in England, I don’t really care all that much. It’s their choice so it’s their problem.

Sure, Labour’s share of the vote is down but there are new kids on the block and the Tories, like it or not, are getting shat on from a great height. If these results could predict a general election (they can’t, it’s just one constituency, but they are a better indicator htan the single issue EU elections) then we will have Labour as the biggest party after a GE, with Brexit Party in opposition and nobody with a clear overall majority.

Basically, a worse mess than we have now.

Who will form a coalition government? Will Labour team up with the Lib Dems, even thought the LDs want an absolute no brexit and Labour want whatever it is they want. They don’t seem to want to tell us.

Will Brexit party team up with the Tories who campaigned at the last GE and at the EU elections on the basis they could deliver Brexit even though the entire planet knows they have no intention of doing that?

You could mention ‘Tories’ to a remote Amazonian tribe and they’d respond ‘Pfft. Can’t trust those buggers’. Whose fault is that? The Tories! They have supported an outright lying leader for so long that nobody can believe a word they say now.

Jerry Cordite, for all his bumbling pound-shop Catweazle appearance, is not a total idiot. Almost, but not total. There were people out shouting that the government should step in to save British Steel. Nobody in the Tories or Labour has pointed out that EU rules prevent the government from doing anything to save British Steel, nor any other company that goes down the tubes because of cheap foreign imports. There is nothing the government can do about it.

Likelwise, much moaning about live animal exports fails to realise that under EU rules, we have no power to stop live animal exports. We do not have that autonomy.

Digression: I recall a pig farm manager telling me about protestors trying to stop him sending live pigs to France. They were breeding sows. Not a lot of use if they’re dead.

Cordite wants to turn the UK into a socialist Utopia like North Korea. He cannot do that if the EU is pulling the strings – well actually it would end up much the same but he will not only not be in charge of it, he could end up like Lenin.

So Jerry wants out of the EU too. Some in his party do not. They don’t want their imagined gravy train to end, even though it could end up against a blood and bullet-hole spattered wall when their usefulness to their masters comes to an end. No wonder they don’t want to learn about history.

If Jerry wants to nationalise things, he can’t do it inside the EU, he has to be out of it. He cannot insist that ships are built on the Clyde, that crappy cars are built in Vauxhall, that British Steel be subsidised and that live animal exports are stopped because the EU will not let him do any of those things. If he wants to actually impose his version of Marxism on us all then he has to have control of the country – and he knows that currently, government in the UK does not have that. In very many areas.

Jerry’s motivations are easy to work out but the Tories are another matter. Don’t they want to actually be in charge? Are they happy to become the petty governers of EU regions and just pass on instructions from above?

I think they do, you know. The money’s good and there really isn’t much work involved, you just sign the papers when they arrive and pass them on. And of course, you are part of the machinery so the laws don’t apply to you, only to the proles.

And, as with the establishment of Stalin’s USSR and the Jingle Jangles of North Korea and the Pol Pot of Cambodia and the Mao of China, there are many useful idiots all fired up to shout and beat it into existence… then spend the rest of their lives trying to escape from what they created while blaming someone else.

It’s very telling that the Eastern European countries are the most opposed to EU diktats. They’ve seen it before, in living memory, and are not keen to go back to that. Socialists decry them as turncoats and heretics but they’ve seen what happens when your world view is imposed, guys. They don’t want it back.

So we have to wait and see who the Tories will decide on to pull their handcart to Hell and it deosn’t matter too much now. They have proved that their manifesto means nothing. They have proved that repeated promises mean nothing. They have proved, beyond a shadow of doubt, that a Tory government cannot be trusted.

We were supposed to have left the EU in March. Now we are to leave on Halloween.

If we don’t then don’t be surprised when the demons are unleashed.

Where is your Green God now?

Well, May is here, and with it the promise of… snow?

It wouldn’t be the first time. Scotland has had snow in May before and will again. It’s no coincidence that ‘Ne’er cast a clout till May is out’ is a common phrase in Scotland. It means, to put it into Mrs. Queen’s English, don’t be in a hurry to put your winter clothes in storage before the end of May.

In the last few years we have had a surprise frost in the middle of August. Usually just one night, maybe two, but it does happen. It makes a bit of a mess.

I’ve been called a ‘climate change denier’ because I agree with David Bellamy. ‘Man made climate change’ and all this ‘carbon’ stuff, well it’s all bollocks, innit?

Changing carbon dioxide in the atmosphere by adding a few parts per million has only one effect. Plants grow faster. Every greenhouse operator, every biologist who hasn’t been suckered in to the scam, knows this. Carbon dioxide really doesn’t do anything else. It is not a ‘greenhouse gas’ beyond its use in actual greenhouses to make plants grow faster. Yes, greenhouse farmers really do this. You can achieve a temporary boost in your own small greenhouse by dropping a couple of fizzy headache pills in water and closing the vents and doors. It won’t be much of an increase and won’t last long but we are talking parts per million here so it’ll have an effect.

This makes me a ‘climate change denier’ even though I fully understand that the climate changes all the time. Sometimes dramatically, as it’s about to. It has nothing to do with human activity, nothing to do with carbon dioxide, it’s not getting warmer and we can’t do a damn thing to stop it. Adapt or die.

Of course, most people are adapting in the wrong direction so they’ll all be dead soon. China and India are building more coal fired power stations because they see what’s really coming. I think I’d choose moving to India over China. It’s further south, less totalitarian and I really like curries.

When I say rapid change is ‘coming’, I really mean ‘it’s here’. While Corbyn jumps on the global warming bandwagon, the last wheel is about to come off.

The North Wind doth blow, and we shall have snow. Another old saying. Here it comes.

I doubt there’ll be very much snow in most places but considering that snow was declared ‘a rare event that future children will never see’ by the year 2000, and considering that we are now in May and should be entering summer, if you are still being suckered in by ‘man-made global warming’ then good luck to you. Prepare to die.

We are about to see a big push for windmills and solar power and a shutdown of every reliable power source. Houses built with no chimneys have no alternative heating arrangements. Gas boilers are being banned, oil prices will be way out of reach for most of us and electricity will be available occasionally. If you don’t have a chimney, you’d better have a really high metabolism.

You see, this is a ‘climate emergency’ so you all have to die to keep the ideology pure. You have to love socialism, right? Well you have to or they shoot you in the back of the head but this time they have hit upon a much more efficient way to kill millions. They’ll let the cold finish them off. Icicles are cheaper than bullets.

Didn’t anyone question the likes of David Attenborough’s huge support for ‘climate action’? We must do all these silly things and shut down everything to save ourselves, coming from the man who has declared he wants somehting like 90% of the human population removed from the planet. He will achieve the latter because of those who believe the former.

Africa is being cleared. People are being sent north to die in the coming cold, a cold they will never have experienced before. Some of us northern people are used to it, some of us remember waking to ice on the inside of the windows and a house that had no need of a refrigerator. Some of us remember how to store lake and river ice through the summer with no machinery at all. Technically that’s even before my time but I do know how it’s done.

Until someone got out of bed and lit the fire in the living room there was no warm place to be. That was inside the house. You had to rotate yourself because the part facing the fire was warm while the part facing away from the fire was cold. Think I’m joking, young people? You’ll find out. If you live where you can have a fire. If not, well, basically, you’re fucked.

I have no sympathy for the young. They have been blocking roads and lying on the floor in Waitrose (they wouldn’t be seen even genuinely dead in Poundstretcher of course) to make the world cooler and it’s been cooling for the last two decades. This is about to accelerate.

Why? Why am I so confident that winter is coming to stay awhile?

Astrophysics is not like climate science. The cycles of the sun are entirely predictable and have been prediced way in advance of this moment. The problem was that those predicting those solar cycles – if they wanted to keep their careers – had to add the caveats that ‘warming will be slowed’ or something like that to their papers. Read the papers without the caveats and what they tell you is that we have just entered the start of a Grand Solar Minimum.

Sunspot activity is dropping very fast. The sun is going quiet. There will be less solar wind keeping cosmic rays off us. Cosmic rays will cause a lot of low cloud. A lot of low cloud will shield us from the already dimming sun. It’s going to get very cold indeed. This is just the beginning.

Middle America is seeing cold and wet weather. Crops are suffering and will be limited this year. I’m hearing that South Africa is getting something similar. Farms in the UK have been busy with planting through a warm April and are about to be hit with definite frosts and possibly snow. Sheep are lambing into the cold.

The climate is changing. Fast. And not for the better. We are going to be taxed as if we are causing warming to the point where we cannot afford to survive the coming cold. Reliable energy sources will be shut down to prevent warming that isn’t going to happen.

Adapt or die. It seems most have chosen to die. But then that was the idea from the outset. Agenda 21 is not a conspiracy theory. It’s serious.

However, as with all these things, the ones the so-called ‘elite’ will kill off are the ones they wanted to keep. The gullible drones. They will be left with those like me, who accept nothing, believe nothing, and who make arrangements for their own survival with no regard to the wishes of those who think themselves superior.

It’s such a monumental ballsup I could almost believe Theresa May is the festermind behind it all.

That’s if I could be convinced she actually has a mind.

The Decline and Fall of… pretty much everything

I have received a polling card for the EU elections. You know, the EU we were supposed to have left a month ago. I’m going to vote, and I’ll vote for the most awkward bastard on the ballot paper. I will not vote Tory or Labour or Lib Dem or SNP and definitely not Green. If that’s all there is, I will draw a primitive anatomical diagram on the paper and write ‘Every candidate is one of these’ and put it in the box.

Voting doesn’t matter anyway. Might as well regard it as a game. The current government have proven that they can happily ignore any voting we might do. At least Stalin had the decency to rig the votes so people could pretend he had won legitimately. Our lot let us vote any way we want and then ignore it and do what they want anyway. That’s worse, in my book.

England and Wales are about to have council elections. Scotland isn’t having those yet but I bet the Scottish clowncillors are paying close attention. Those councillors have no say in government but the Tories among them are pretty much screwed. The Labour ones shouldn’t be getting too complacent either.

Beery Nigel’s new Brexit party are head to head with Labour on the latest EU voting polls and rising. Between them and UKIP (oh how I wish they could just get along instead of sniping at each other) they could fill the EU Parliament with troublemakers. I hope they do.

They could also, combined, take power at the next General Election. Can’t happen? Tell that to the Whigs. The upstart Labour party sent them to the back benches not that long ago.

A guy called Adonis, who looks like an anti-Adonis if I’m being brutally honest, is standing as a Labour MEP on a ticket of ‘if you want Brexit, don’t vote for me’. Like there was any chance of that anyway. Meanwhile, Jerry Cordite has been out saying that he fully supports Brexit, thus utterly fucking up Adonis’s remote chances. Good on you, Jerry. Even the Brown Gorgon got one thing right (refusing to join the Euro) which is one more thing than Theresa May.

Labour won’t deliver Brexit any more than the Tories. We all know it. It’s a stitch up and the final proof that voting counts for nothing in what used to be called the ‘Mother’ of democracies but which has now become its coffin.

We might as well elect Kim Jong Jinglyjangly and be done with it.

The only honest ones among them are the Lib Dems. They have been against Brexit throughout. It’s a vote loser but at least they are consistent. What a pity they are so bloody useless. We had a taste of them in the Cleggeron Coagulation and that was enough to send them straight back to obscurity.

The next EU elections could be the ones I actually stay up to watch. I don’t usually bother but for this one, it could well be popcorn time.

It seems Donnie Trumpton is going to visit the UK in the summer. Very sensible. It’s really horrible here in winter. Mrs Queen is having a banquet in his honour and apparenty that is a terrible thing. She’s had banquets for world leaders who have massacred their own people and still does. Donnie hasn’t done that. He does look like he enjoys a good meal though.

Jerry Cordite, Vinnie the Wire, Tyrion Bercow, and several others whose names escape me because I don’t care who they are, have refused to attend the banquet. Can I have their tickets? Free food is free food and I don’t care who I have to sit next to. It’ll be posh food too, none of that Iceland microwaved stovies stuff. I bet Mrs Queen only shops at Marks and Spencer or Waitrose. Damn, free posh food? I’ll sit next to Jason Voorhees for that, as long as he only has a spoon.

Also, Tyrion Bercow has refused to allow Donnie to give a speech in Parliament. Who cares? Nobody with any sense listens to anything said in there any more anyway. It’s the House of Utter Bollocks. Perhaps if Donnie were to self-identify as a sixteen year old Swedish autistic girl who has been evilly manipulated to the level of actual child abuse by the Church of Climatology… perhaps then he’d be heard.

He has a terrible speaking voice anyway, it’s all squeaky and whiny. Come on, even if you are an ardent supporter, he doesn’t have a deep, resonant, commanding tone, does he? Reagan, a trained and experienced actor, was good at that. Trump has not learned modulation and has never studied hypnosis techniques… but then, that could be a good thing. Someone who knows how to do those things could convince antismokers of things like feeling their own neck nymph lodes as cancers. Or so I am told…

It’s all become very silly. Caroline Lucas (I remember fondly her line in spare parts for car electrical systems) says that anyone she doesn’t agree with is a racist-Nazi-bigot which is what we have heard from the Leftie playbook for over a decade now. Re-edit that book. It’s long overdue. Come up with something new because nobody cares about being called those things any more.

The latest is ‘white supremacist’. Oh they exist, there are probably at least ten of them worldwide. Most of us white folk are not interested in any kind of supremacy, we have shit to do to pay bills and we don’t want to rule over anyone. We cannot afford to keep slaves, we can barely afford to feed ourselves. You want to look at modern slavery, look at Islam. They still do it.

The people who shout about (white – they don’t say it) people queueing up at food banks are the same ones who crow about white privilege and white supremacy. The really funny part is – most of them are white and very privileged. The rest of us honky trailer trash are of no consequence to them. What do they think will happen when the backlash against ‘white privilege’ they demand actually comes to pass? Will the non-whites raid the meagre belongings of the trailer trash, or will they go for rich pickings?

We whiteys aren’t really doing much about any of it and you know why? We don’t need to. We’ll just let it all fall apart and rebuild it later. We’ll let the white self-haters fall to the wolves. We’ll let the entitled try to live on leaves and untreated water. Sure, take all we made for you and rip it up. We can do it again.

And now I’m going to be called a ‘white supremacist’. Call me whatever you want. I do not care. You don’t want my cure for gut diseases because it’s ‘too white’? No problem, I have a pot of it in my fridge here that’s worth £2000 and could wipe out Clostridium difficile from several large hospitals. It’s been tested, the doctors loved it, admin didn’t, it got shut down. Too white, and more important,. too damaging to their Pharma perks because it’s too natural to patent. Well I put a drop in my coffee every day. I’m fine. You don’t want to know, no problem.

Incidentally, if you have read this far without going off on a lefty rant and you are, or have a relative with C. difficile, I’ll be happy to send a free sample. And no, I don’t care what colour your skin might be, what religion you follow, anything. I also have this stuff in powder form so it’s a bit easier to post and I’ll tell you exactly what to combine it with (nothing hard to find).

If I cure a black family’s elderly relative, I am exercising white privilege. If I cure a white family’s elderly relative, I am a white supremacist. If you have an elderly relative in hospital with C. difficile and I have something that will cure it, without having to take them off the doctors’ prescriptions at all, and you refuse it because I am white, well just sit back and think about yourself. I have the cure, I am offering it for free, you refuse because I am white and that makes me the racist?

For many out there, it does.

The human race is going to collapse. That massive population reduction will happen. The ones who die will not be the ones the elite think will die.

In Denmark, an immigrant from Africa called police one morning because someone had coated his car in white stuff overnight. It had snowed. This is not a joke, this really happened. These immigrants will not do well in the grand solar minimum that is under way. Most Green God acolytes will die too. There will be mass deaths in the coming cold but the ones who are left alive will be those who rejected the globalist message and prepared properly. The ones who do not listen and who do not take orders from cash-filled suits.

Rather like the upcoming EU elections. The winners won’t be the ones the elite want to win.

They’ll be left with the likes of me.

The Train Boozer

I haven’t forgotten the Freddos competition. I’m still in recovery from the recent chaos. It will happen. Yesterday we had a sample of the Green Life – a power cut from 9 am to 3 pm – and if it had continued into the evening we’d have been glad of that wood burning stove. Easter is here and will be over soon. Maybe then normality, such as it is, will be restored for a while.

Anyway, today it seems Diane Abbott has been photographed sprawled out in a train carriage, surrounded by vomit and cans of Special Brew.

Not really. In fact she was quietly sipping from a single 250 ml can of Marks and Spencer Mojito and not bothering anyone.

There are now calls for her to be prosecuted.

I never thought I’d see the day when I would take Diane Abbott’s side on anything but there you are, sitting quietly on the eleventy-thirteen train home, not causing anyone any bother, and suddenly a mob of Puritans appear and lynch you.

Yes, it is against the law, but it’s a stupid law. We already have laws to cover drunk and disorderly – in fact I believe ‘drunk in a public place’ is against the law, so even the lone guy staggering home from the pub in silence is breaking the law. I have broken that one many times. We do not need an absolute alcohol ban anywhere other than while driving anything or while at work (politicians really should take note of that one, especially Anti Sobriety, because it applies to everyone else).

The whole point of public transport is that the alcohol driving limit does not apply to anyone but the train staff. Sure, being drunk and obnoxious will, and should, get you refused transport or thrown off at the next stop but one can of 8% booze (roughly half a pint of a not very strong wine by equivalent) isn’t likely to do that.

I mean, she’s taking public transport home at a time when a lot of those politicians are demanding a full police escort everywhere they go. Why isn’t that the story? All she did was sit in a seat and drink a can of what, to me at least, could almost be considered a soft drink.

She drank two units! Two! She drank all of both those units and had the nerve to walk off the train without falling over! How could she! Shock! Horror! Call the Sun! They’ll print this shit.

Pfft. If I had to work with Grandpa Cordite and The McConnellator all day, I reckon I’d be necking vodka straight from the bottle on the way home. And hitting myself on the head with the bottle between swigs.

Some are going to say I am advocating drunks on trains, with waves of urine wafting across the aisles on every curved track, and tsunamis of piss and vomit building up along the train at every abrupt stop. You’re not going to get that from a game of two units, one can.

Scotland does not allow drinking on trains between 9 pm and 10 am. The 10 am part is irrelevant really, you can’t buy any in Scotland before 10 am anyway. The 9 pm part is so that those leaving pubs don’t get any more plastered on the way home. If you want to open a can of Tennent’s on a train at 1 pm, no one cares. The buffet will even sell you a can (at far above minimum price).

Nobody’s really likely to bother you if you take a swig from a hip flask at 9:30 pm or later. As long as you aren’t causing any bother… no one cares.

Of course, if you are sitting in a warm-but-cooling wet seat and swearing incoherently at the other passengers, you’re going to be met by the transport police at the next stop, whether it’s your stop or not. And that is as it should be.

There is no time limit on the Transport for London ban. There is no sensible in-between. They see it as all or nothing. If you so much as sniff a beer, you are a raging alcoholic likely to smash every window then stab the passengers with the shards of glass. So they have banned it entirely.

I can understand a ban on late boozing on public transport. It’s likely to be those who have come, pie-eyed, from the pub and are already blootered. You don’t want them tipping over into vomit-factory on your old and smelly train, it’s bad enough in there as it is. You can’t even rely on a friendly smoker to quench the stench because that’s been banned for a long time too.

Same with buses. I have taken the very late weekend bus home from Aberdeen a couple of times in the past and they put the shittiest vehicle in the fleet on that route. It’s not called the ‘vomit comet’ for nothing. It doesn’t come out this way – nothing does – so I don’t go drinking in Aberdeen now.

But really, a whole newspaper article over a can of premixed plonk? Being drunk by someone who didn’t cause so much as an inconvenience to anyone?

I know, I know, ‘one rule for us and another for them’ but is this a rule she was involved in making? I rather suspect it’s one of Sadold Khunt’s idiotic pronouncements to distract from his dire record of actually doing his job. It’s not a national law. It’s just That London. They had seven to choose from and they chose Dopey. Grumpy was already employed as Squeaker in the House of Conmen but that still left six.

It is, I repeat, a stupid law. One among many. Diane Abbott is right to ignore it and was wrong to apologise for it. The idiots calling for her to be prosecuted should instead be calling for the idiotic law to be dumped.

That never happens, does it? It’s never ‘Well it’s a stupid law anyway’. It’s always ‘Enforce the stupid law!’

I have no hope for this current iteration of civilisation, and I doubt the next one will be any better.

There are times, like this, when I am glad I don’t have too many birthdays left to endure.


The latest anthology is completed, so that’s one less stress to deal with. Tonight I find out whether I have to waste my time on jury service while leaving CStM and my parents in an isolated farmhouse with no means of going anywhere. Once all this is out of the way I’m going to have a good blast of whisky and sleep all the next day.

Actually I’ll do that on the 17th and CStM will probably join me. On the 18th we will have no electricity for the day. There is some major work planned on the local substation and there’ll be no power most of the day. Since our water supply is pumped through filters and UV treated (no chemicals, we get water from the tap here that is less processed than Perrier), no power means no water.

So we have bottled water in for the duration, just in case. We’ll fill a few buckets to flush the toilet and the cooker hob is gas (bottled supply) so that will still work. I suspect that having a wood burning stove could be a great thing on that day. Unless we manage to sleep right through it of course.

I wonder if, by the time we emerge from this madness, we will have actually left the EU? I have doubts. Tessie never wanted to succeed in any of her promises and now Parliament has deleted the constitutional Government so at any moment, expect Tiny Blur’s Enabling Act to be activated and then it’s a real dictatorship.

Tessie is still hell-bent on Internet censorship, as she was in the Home Orifice. Next up, censorship of social media. Soon there’ll be nothing left but the old Compuserve style forums and we’ll be issued with State approved 56K modems on dialup. Assuming we are ‘Approved Comrades’ of course.

How the Tories expect to win a single vote now is beyond me. Their only manifesto is based on ‘But… But… Corbyn will win if you don’t vote for us!’ Who the hell cares? It doesn’t matter who is in charge as Britannia slips quietly below the waves she once ruled. It doesn’t matter which politicians are in their little subsidised-booze Wastemonster bubble. Nobody cares any more, nobody trusts a single one of them.

I think this country needs a Corbyn government. I can just about remember the Harold Wilson one, the young have no idea what they are voting for. I say, let them have it. They love the shine of the flame, let them grasp it and feel the burn. They will not listen and they will not learn any other way.

I mean, the country is fucked under either of them now. Let Corbyn have a go. I can really see a lot of voters going for him on one basis and one basis alone.

‘At least he’s not Theresa May.’


So Tessie Maybe is going for another extension. Surely even the EU is getting fed up with this now? Parliament voted ‘no’ to another extension, her own Cabinet said ‘no’, and most likely the Closet, the Cooker, Underbed Monster and the Ironing Board said ‘no’ too.

She’s not hearing the voters, not hearing Parliament and not hearing her own Cabinet. What voices is she hearing, and are they only in her head?

Looks like she’s planning to set up Corbyn to take the blame this time. She wants to talk to him about a way out of the web of lunacy she has created. He will make demands. She will refuse, so he will refuse to support her crazy deal. Then, when we go out with no deal, she can say it’s Labour’s fault.

No, Tessie. It’s your fault. All yours. You have had nearly three years to come to your senses and no amount of extension can help you now. You cannot blame Parliament or Labour or even your own MPs because you are not listening to any of them. You are doing this all on your own.

I think she really believed she could snap her fingers and all of Parliament would support the horrors in that lunatic deal she dreamed up. I think she really believes that being Prime Monster means she is in sole command, that everyone in the country must do as she says. A smack in the face from Reality awaits.

Can she really go to the EU and ask for things that her own government do not support? What are the EU thinking now?

If they have any sense, they are thinking about the upcoming EU elections. They are wondering how many Nigel Farages the UK will send them if they let this pissed-off population have a say in those elections. If they have any grasp on reality at all they will understand that more people voted in that referendum than ever before and at least 17 million of them are going to vote ‘screw you’ if they get a chance. If there is anyone sensible in the EU elite, they really won’t want the UK voting in those elections.

As for the Squeaker, Tyrion Bercow, I actually agree with him not allowing a vote on ‘no deal’. As he said, ‘no deal’ is the default if the exit date arrives and there is no deal. There is nothing to debate about it. They voted to take ‘no deal’ off the table but it was never on the table. It’s not an offer. It’s a default position. Pretending it’s anything else is like falling off a cliff and voting to not hit the ground.

Actually, this Parliament would take that vote and relax on the way down because they’ve solved the problem. Oh, and Tessie would demand an extension to the height of the cliff so they have longer to fall. Anyone saying ‘We fell off a cliff and we’re going to die’ would be declared to be Hitler and ignored.

Watching this government in action is alternately frustrating and comical. They really have no idea what they are doing and most of them have no idea how close to bursting the boiler of anger is getting in this country. We’ve seen even Boris the Spider and Jake the Greasy Moggie change positions recently. We’ve seen an MP deselected and that deselection overridden by Tessie. Stupid move, Tessie. Who is going to campaign for him at the next election, eh?

I never thought I’d see the day when every party in Wastemonster made Scotland’s Spiteful Nannying Party look not so bad after all. Well it doesn’t make them look better, it just means we can look at them now and think well, they aren’t really any worse than the rest of them. I still won’t vote for them, naturally. Never have and never will. Independence sounds okay, but with that lot in charge? Hell no.

Brexit might or might not happen on April 12th. It might have already happened since Tessie put it into law that it would happen on 29th March. I’m pretty sure it’s going to happen before the EU elections – if she hasn’t grown a brain by then, and the EU has, they’ll kick us out sharpish.

Of course, the EU is doomed anyway. France is going to send them a raft of Marine le Pens for their parliament. Italy is going to do something similar. Eastern Europe has experienced the Soviet nonsense they are trying to implement and they’re going to send a load of Lech Walesa clones. Greece is pretty pissed off and many other countries are too. Oh, in many countries the politicians are quite happy with the Hell they have foisted on their populations but the people living with this shit are not.

We are not leaving a thriving community of happy people. We are deserting a sinking ship.

As one whose Chinese horoscope is ‘rat’, I think that’s a good idea.


Book stuff – if you’re not interested, stop now.

The eighth Underdog Anthology awaits only one author’s response and it’s ready to go. The print cover is here, all set. The Kindle cover is just the front part of that one, the Smashwords cover will have to have all 12 authors’ names on the cover. It won’t look as neat but them’s the rules.

I hope to hear from that last author very soon. My parents will be here within 36 hours and that is going to eat heavily into my available time. Plus, I have the spectre of jury service on the 10th April which is going to mess things up even more. I did promise to get this book out in the first week of April and I intend to do just that.

Even if it needs to be revised after publication.


Well, we nearly had Brexit. And the Tory party nearly had a future. They will be spoken of in future as we now speak of the Whigs, once their opposing number in the two-main-party system we have, but now relegated to a bunch of irrelevancies. It took me a long time to work out who the Whigs were. It’ll take the next generation just as long to work out who the Tories were.

Now we have a new party. Change UK, which is going to be abbreviated to CUK because they really didn’t think it through. Naturally, they don’t plan to change anything at all including the modern politicians’ disregard for anything the public has to say. They certainly don’t plan to change their cushy jobs and their Marie Antoinette attitudes. But then, none of them do.

Well I won’t vote for CUK. I won’t vote for Conservatives ever again. I won’t vote Labour because they aren’t Labour any more. They are Catweasel’s Commies now. As for the Lib Dems and the SNP… no. Just no. The Church of the Militant Elvis makes more sense.

I’m going to vote though. If there is no realistic choice I will not vote ‘for’ anyone but ‘against’ whichever one is currently incumbent. As a last resort I will write ‘No thank you’ on the paper. There is nobody in favour of delivering the referendum result or of even slightly relaxing the smoking ban so my options are going to be limited to a ‘fuck you’ vote of some kind. Even Jake the Greasy Moggie turned tail and voted for the now thrice-thrashed Surrender Deal. Who is there left to trust?

It has all become very silly indeed but it did inspire a story – ‘Pandora’s Lost Luggage’ – which is in the next Underdog Anthology and which I will post here for entertainment purposes when the book is done. As I’ve said all along, those anthologies aren’t out there to make a profit – none of them have yet broken even – they are advertising. For me, for Leg Iron Books and of course for the starting-out authors in them. So yes, I’ll post that story here.

That book has occupied an awful lot of my time recently because it turned out to be a very big one. Details elsewhere – and Leg Iron Books authors should keep an eye on that site because that’s where the book details are now.

I have also not forgotten the Freddo contest. Just need this book out of the way first… I have a Fistful of Freddos ready to set it up.

What I need is an island where I can declare myself an independent country. But not off Scotland. The Grand Solar Minimum and the SNP’s insanity is going to cover this place in glaciers in a decade or so.

If only Australia was sane. But then, we did send them there…