Ban the Banned

Suzi Quatro could have done something brilliant with this title.

Our Ruddy Home Secretary has decided to ban ‘zombie knives’. Take a look at what she wants to ban.

Three throwing knives, useless in unpracticed hands. They are fixed blade so are already illegal to cary. Already banned.

Some stupidly thin wobbly-edged blade that you could probaby bend in half with your hands. Still, it’s long and half-sharp and illegal to carry in public. Already banned.

An axe shaped so as to be pretty much useless and again, too thin to be practical. Also illegal to carry in public anyway, as are all axes unless you’re off to chop some wood. Already banned.

A lurid green version of a liner-lock knife. Used to be common but it’s now illegal to have a lock knife in public. Already banned.

Finally, at the bottom, some kind of fishing implement I think. It has no purpose other than slashing and is the most non-excusable offensive weapon of the lot. Even before all the other things were banned, I’d bet you’d have been arrested for having that. Anyway, it’s definitely already banned.

Look again at those ‘weapons’. The throwing knives are dangerous if you can use them. The liner-lock is dangerous in the wrong hands. The fishing thing is an obvious weapon. It has no other use. Except maybe for clearing weeds from between patio slabs but it doesn’t look like it would be very good at that. A crack hoe would do a better job.

The axe is a useless toy. It’s far too thin and light for any practical application and even as a weapon it’s not going to do what a cheap splitting or garden cutting axe would do. As for the ‘sword’, come at me with that and I’ll beat you with a broom. It’s pressed steel sheet. That’s why you can buy these things for under £10. They are crap. Sharpened at the front half only and it won’t hold an edge. It’s cheap soft steel. The sharpened bit has non-sharp notches cut into it for no reason at all. It is all just for show. I wouldn’t accept one as a gift, never mind buy it. If gang members are really bragging they have these, they are a laughing stock.

These ‘zombie weapons’ are ornamental toys. I have some ornamental swords that look really impressive but if you try to use them in a real fight, the blade is likely to come off the handle. You grab one of those. I’ll grab the kitchen chopping knives. I will win.

Nobody, as far as I can see in the news, has ever used one of these toys in a real attack. Nevertheless, carrying any of them in public is already illegal and frankly, why would you? Aside from the lock knife, none of them have any practical use and none of them are any use in self defence either. The whole ‘zombie knife’ shit is just an excuse to disarm us more.

On June 1, 2018, footage emerged of a cyclist using a zombie knife to try and smash the window of a car in an apparent road rage row.

That was not a ‘zombie knife’. That was a real and very dangerous big knife. What they propose to ban has nothing to do with that already fucking illegal massive knife. It’s just an excuse.

A long list of dangerous weapons that glamorise violence will also be included in the total ban, putting them on the same legal footing as unlicensed firearms.
They include sword sticks, butterfly knives and blowpipes, as well as a range of martial arts weapons such as deathstars and handclaws.

Sword sticks and butterfly knives have been banned in the UK for many years. I used to use a site called Blades-UK which dropped those from its listings 20 or more years ago. Because they were no longer legal to sell. Yeah. Already banned. Pity I missed out, I’d have liked a butterfly knife.

Deathstars and handclaws come under ‘fixed blade knives’ and are already illegal. I know nothing of blowpipes but I bet they aren’t hard to make.

Our Ruddy Home Secretary wants to make it illegal to have anything sharp at home, whether you take it on the street or not.

I mean, come on. I have a scythe. In this garden, in summer, I need it. It has a grass blade and a ditch blade for the wooded parts. I have oilstones and whetstones and a peening kit. Grinding wheels and files. I have the means to make a tyre iron sharp. And we are to be scared of lurid green toys?

What this country needs is not more bans.

What this country needs is a government that is not entirely populated by idiots.

Yeah. Not happening, is it?

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Tobacco, the wonder plant

As suggested by Smoking Scot in comments, here is Nisakiman’s elegant idea for a ‘smokers welcome here’ image:

It comes from an idea a long time ago which I seem to recall was started by either Frank Davis or Junican. I’d like to be more specific but I’m afraid I was very, very drunk at the time. I’d actually written two of the stories in the latest Underdog Anthology around that time and entirely forgotten about them… yeah, pretty drunk.

Tobacco is currently villified by the Righteous and their indoctinated dancing clowns of hate but the original inhabitants of America (is that the latest PC term? Please forgive me for not caring) knew a lot more about this plant. They used it for more than just a sly puff at the back of the wigwam sheds.

Modern science has been gradually catching up. Well, the discovery of vitamin B3, Niacin, aka nicotinic acid, and its derivation from nicotine happened a long time ago. There is much more though.

Tipped by Sam in email – Tobacco flowers have a yeast-killer in them.

I had seen this go by on Twitter along with another claim that tobacco may have anti-cancer properties (now there’s a twist, eh?) but no antismoker worth their bile would accept a cancer treatment that came from the tobacco plant, naturally.

This yeast-killing antibiotic (the term is usually used to mean an antibacterial in my world but we’ll let that slide) is vey interesting. It works on Candida albicans, a ‘mostly harmless’ yeast that can still cause thrush and other, not necessarily fatal but really annoying infections. I wonder if it works on other yeast/fungi? Athlete’s foot is really hard to permanently dispose of. Ringworm is an evil fucker and there is speculation (not proof) that seborrhaic dermatitis has a yeast as a causative agent. They are all hard or impossible to cure at  the moment. Should we rub some tobacco flowers on it and see?

The article talks about the ornamental versions of Nicotiana but you know they have to be so, so careful these days. Ornamental tobacco is no use for smoking but as with all these domesticated things it’s a toned down, weaker version of the wild one that has to survive with no watering or plant food or weeding or pest control.

I’m betting real tobacco flowers are way more effective than the domesticated, pampered ones. These plants are quite capable of looking after themselves. In many ways.

Tobacco has multiple medicinal properties. Who knew? Pretty much everyone before the white man’s Puritan horde decided they didn’t like it. Hating tobacco is racist now. There’s one to have fun with.

I look forward to the first tales of antismokers refusing niacin, the new anttfungals and the new anticancer drugs because they come from tobacco. You can watch them suffer and die while watching me not care.

They have no sympathy for me. Expect none in return.

Gammon, Amazon and a favour

It seems I am now a ‘gammon’, a middle aged straight white man who voted ‘leave’. At least I think that’s the definition.

It’s a sort of insult, you see. Not a particularly good one, there are far, far worse things I could be called and over the years I have indeed been called most of them. ‘Gammon’ does not leave me feeling insulted. It leaves me feeling perplexed.

I mean, If you’re going for meat-based insults surely ‘tripe’ is a better option? Pale, rubbery and bland. Or perhaps ‘chitterlings’. The intestinal offal that really, nobody wants to eat unless they absolutely have to. The latter has the added advantage that most of today’s youth have no idea what ‘chitterlings’ are, so you could greet them with ‘How are you, my little chitterlings?’ for days before one of them gets curious enough to look it up.

But.. gammon? I’m being compared to posh ham? Why not go the whole way and call me sirloin or T-bone? Those would be just as perplexing if used as insults. These SJWs have relied on the old ‘racist-Nazi-bigot’ mantra for a very long time, and this new ‘insult’ goes a long way to explaining why.

They clearly have no imagination. The little light that goes on above their heads when they have an idea must be like illuminating a cathedral with a five watt filament bulb.

Call me ‘gammon’ to my face and I will not be in the least bit insulted. I’m not going to call you racist or ageist or pork-product-ist. I am going to laugh and compare you to a recently defaecated tapeworm segment, in terms of both appearance and intelligence. I might respond by comparing you, unfavourably, to a suppurating pustule or to the back-end consequence of feeding an elephant a massive amount of Vindaloo.

Or I might just call you ‘lamb chop’, just so you can be as baffled as I am.

There is much hoo-ha on Twitter about this. One commenter even refers to it as the ‘G-word’. Yes, it’s already verboten! Brilliant! We can now go into Tesco and ask if they have any of the G-word ham. When they finally ‘get it’ and say ‘Oh, you mean gammon?’ we can then launch into faux-outrage and call the police. We can also take a permanent marker and black out ‘ammon’ on every packet. Oh, the fun to have…

Anyway… Amazon.

They have screwed up again. The print version of ‘Rebellion’ has been incorrectly linked to another novel by the same name, which is entirely dissimilar in every way to Mark Ellott’s book. Only the title is the same. Oh and the author’s first name. The Kindle version is unaffected. ‘Click to look inside’ the Kindle version and you get the right book. On the print version, it links to the other author’s content. They seem to be sending out the right print version though.

There are two reviews which are for the other book. At least they are 5 star reviews, might as well grab that silver lining while it’s there. I have informed Amazon of the blunder, of course nothing has happened so I will inform them again from another account.

This brings us to the favour. If you have time and the inclination, could you click the ‘report incorrect product information’ link on that page and tell them the ‘look inside’ links to the wrong book? Maybe if they get a few more reports they’ll actually take notice.

This is incredibly irritating. I swore not to play with the new G scale trains until this book and Lee Bidgood’s were done and there is a pile of track, two locomotives, three coaches (they are seriously big!) and five freight wagons waiting for me. I’m trying to finish the cover for Lee’s book and ‘Rebellion’ should have been clear by now. Still, it can’t be too easy, eh?

The cover is coming along. So many scenes from the book I wanted to depict but the orange Lada, the scene on the Fred Flintstone slide in the playground and the transsexual policeman really had to be in there. It’s testing my drawing skills to the limit but I think it’s going to be worth it in the end.

If you get the right book on ‘click to look inside’, it means they finally fixed it.

I hope so. It’s too good a story to get this kind of treatment.

 

 

Sweden. A National Suicide

People kill each other with grenades. Bombs go off almost daily. Children raped on their way home from school. Rapists (non-Swedish ones) get the equivalent of community service. And now, another bit of Swedish culture is erased.

Swedish meatballs came from Turkey. 300 years ago, and apparently Swedes have never since modified the recipe to their own tastes.

Well, British curries all came from India but that doesn’t stop us enjoying them. Even though they, like British Chinese food, have been modified to our tastes and aren’t like the originals any more. British tea comes from India too, and Britain without tea would be unthinkable.

St. George, the patron saint of England, came from the Middle East (St. David of Wales came from Merthyr Tydfil, everyone knows that, which is why he eats daffodils and leeks, sees dragons and has a flag that looks like crossed projectile vomiting in the dark. But I digress. Oh… intestinal maneouvres in the dark – isn’t there a song about that?).

Every country in the world has adopted bits of its culture from other countries. England more than most since they invaded most of the other countries in the world. America has been trying to do the same while the English look on, shake their heads, tut and think ‘amateurs’. The English didn’t set up a military base with armour in other countries. They set up an administration run by men in silly hats. World rulers need hats more than they need guns. Humanity has forgotten this.

Just because we like garlic bread and pizza and chips does not mean we now have to give them up due to ‘cultural appropriation’ (the latest guilt trip from the shouty internet morons) and give our country to someone else.

Swedes, you have an opportunity. You can move to Denmark or Norway, the languages are similar enough to get you by right away and you can work out the differences over time. Don’t go to Finland, they just make odd noises there and they are fast heading the same way as your government anyway. But you have an option.

Move out. All of you. Every last Swede. Move out and leave your government with the utter wasters they have invited into your country. Move out and watch the government pay out all those benefits with nobody left to pay tax, Move out, especially if you have a baby daughter, before you have to shed those tears.

Your government does not want you. They do not care about you and will do nothing to protect you. Accept that and move out.

Do that. I dare you. Yes, your country will collapse into anarchy. Watch it happen. Get the popcorn.

And when your government’s darlings have killed off their hosts, and the next winter wipes them all out, you can just move back in.

And this time, be a bit more picky when voting, eh?

As for us in UKistan, well, America would be the easy option language-wise but they don’t really have much tea and they don’t understand irony. Also they are far too friendly for the UK palate and are getting too much of the political correctness virus. Poland or Bulgaria look like better options. Okay, you’d have to culturally appropriate another language but they won’t mind because they are not led by fucking idiots like we are and you won’t have to worry about Allah’s Holy Hand Grenade or the Bomb Vest of Salvation because those countries don’t let the loonies in.

Oh I know there are going to be repercussions and recriminations over this post. I know there will be smug rebuttals with nothing to back them up but assertions and rhetoric and I know the smug bastards will walk away saying ‘I won that’.

Watch me not care.

I know what is coming. I was trained in logical deduction back in the days when science was a real thing. It’s been a clear plan for a very long time now and yes, it’s Marxism again but this time they want to make it global. The previous implementations were practice runs. This time the death toll will run to billions.

And the smug idiots denying it will call out for help one day as they are facing the ground and waiting for the sword to fall. They will cry out ‘Help us’.

And I’ll whisper ‘No’.

You have it so you were going to commit a crime with it.

Many years ago I had a butterfly knife in my fishing tackle box. If you don’t know the style, its handle is in two parts, both hinged at the blade so the handle folds over both edges of the blade. I was quite adept at flicking it open, using it and flicking it closed again. Since you held both halves of the handle when it was open it could not close on your fingers in use.

I had that style because I could open and close it one-handed while trying to deal with a line or a fish with the other hand, and because when folded, it was safe to delve your hand into the fishing box without looking.

Then they were made illegal and I couldn’t use it any more. Instead I had a lock-knife. This had a little lump on the side of the blade so you could pop it open with one hand and it would lock open. No danger of it folding on your fingers. Not as handy as the butterfly because you needed two hands to close it again (liner lock – you have to press down a spring on the back while folding the blade) but nonetheless safer than either a fixed blade or a folding non-locking one.

Then they banned those too.

I have never stabbed or cut anyone or even threatened them with a knife, yet now all I am allowed is an unsafe folding knife. I don’t think any fixed-blade knife is legal outside the home but they wouldn’t be safe in a fishing box anyway. They can slip out of the sheath when the box is moved. The non-locking folding one is safe in the box but not safe in use because it can fold onto fingers, especially those slimy from handling fish – and it needs both hands to open it.

The only knife you can carry in public in the UK is a non-locking folding penknife with a blade less than 3 inches (7.5cm) in length. Anything else and you will have to prove to a court that you had a damn good reason to have it. This applies even if you had it out of sight and didn’t even show anyone – if you are stopped and searched and it is found, you’re arrested and charged.

In the seventies, after a camping trip, I got off the train in Cardiff with an eight-inch camping knife on my belt and went shopping. Nobody even noticed. Now they’d have helicopters and armed police surrounding me. I wouldn’t have to do anything, wouldn’t even have to touch the handle of the knife. Mere possession is a crime now.

Oh, and I bought that camping knife, alone, in a shop, when I was 15. Try that now, all you teen warriors demanding ever tighter controls on your lives. By the time you get to my age you’ll need to be over 30 and have three forms of ID to buy a paper clip.

Let me reiterate. It is illegal in the UK, and has been for some time, to be in possession in public of anything bigger than a folding three-inch knife. Anything else and you need to have a good reason to be carrying it.

Do we really need more laws than that?

Well we’re going to get them.

Because…

National figures show police in England and Wales recorded a rise of a fifth in knife and gun crime in the year to September.

Right. So the answer to people committing illegal acts using things that are already illegal is not to enforce those laws, but to make new ones that make more things illegal.

I notice there is no mention in the article of a clampdown on guns. Oh wait, those are already illegal. Criminals don’t care about laws though. What to do, eh? Well, there are a lot of Americans who think gun control will end shootings, including one I came across on Twitter who describes herself in her bio as ‘open minded’ and has a banner saying ‘The NRA are a terrorist organisation’.

Actually, more vegan animal rights activists (1) than NRA members (0) have gone on shooting sprees lately so as terrorist organisations go, I’d say the NRA really haven’t got the hang of it at all.

Back to the knives. The plan is to make even more forms of knives illegal, and to make buying them online as near to impossible as they can make it. Well. That’ll have no effect at all on street stabbings.

If the stabber is over 18 they can get a knife in a local shop. If the stabber is under 18 they will simply take one from their parents’ kitchen. Making them harder to buy will do nothing at all.

You cannot buy a handgun legally in the UK but criminals seem to have no problem getting them anyway. Knives? You can make one in your shed with a hammer, file, whetstone and a piece of fencing steel! You could even make one from oak or hickory. Yeah, it won’t work for long but it doesn’t need to, does it? Actually I won’t go into any more detail on that one because it has details I don’t want to hand out to any Mr. Stabbys out there.

The problem is not knives. Especially since carrying anything bigger than a whittling penknife in public is already illegal. The problem is people stabbing each other. Nobody in Government wants to address that. Oh, we know why but they made it illegal to say it.

Soon it will be illegal to be in possession of a set of kitchen knives in public and impossible to buy them online and have them posted to you. So, if you need kitchen knives, how are you going to get them home?

I have bought whisky online. I once bought a log splitter online. The delivery courier had to check I was of legal age to have them before handing them over. If there is nobody of legal age to sign for them then they won’t deliver. So, under-18s buying knives online can only get them if an adult signs for the delivery. That’s law now. They cannot ‘sneakily order them’ because the delivery agent won’t hand them over to the kid.

It’s the same as the argument that tobacco companies ‘market to children’. It’s as ridiculous as claiming Danish Bacon ‘markets to Jews’. Why would you ‘market’ a product to a group who are not allowed to buy it?

Likewise, it does not matter how hard you market your range of bladed items, scissors or dressmaking pins to those under 18. They are not allowed to buy them. Yes, I said dressmaking pins and scissors. You can get married at 16 in this country but you can’t buy anything sharp until you are 18 so you’ll have a married life with only plastic knives and forks for your first two years and can’t hang any pictures because you can’t buy nails.

This is not ‘where we are going’. This is where we are. Now. Today. And an allegedly Conservative government under the daftest woman ever put in charge of anything is about to make it worse.

There has been a lot of talk about Corbyn’s mob of hate-filled harpies (I’ve met a few and yes, they are) and how the Labour party needs to sort itself out. The damn Tories need a purge too. They are, really, no better. Criminalising people who want to buy a bread knife online? Stating that anyone in possession of acid in public is committing a crime? What the hell do they think is in a car battery? What do they think the chemical definition of vinegar is? Are they going to arrest anyone in possession of a lemon?

Ludicrous? Of course it is. It all is. We have a ludicrous government and a ludicrous opposition. What else can you expect from them?

If someone wants to buy a bottle of sulphuric acid, that should raise a red flag. They might want it for a legitimate purpose of course, in which case they won’t mind providing ID and having the sale recorded. I have no problem giving my name and address and proving who I am when I buy a scythe blade or any of the viciously sharp items in my tool room. I really wouldn’t be happy with a random lunatic having access to those things.

If I buy dangerous chemicals or bacteria for the lab I have to prove I have a lab capable of containing them and that I am a legitimate scientist with the knowledge to safely handle these things. That is as it should be – I can, and have, bought live cultures of some seriously dangerous bacteria in the past. That should not be available to some spotty teen who wanders in off the street. Okay, they’d probably kill themselves before they killed anyone else but even so… do you want to ban all research into intestinal disease becasue the causative agents are dangerous? I bet there are some who do, you know.

The law will just say ‘acid’. Leaving a chip shop with vinegar on your chips? You are in possession of an acid in a public place.  The law they propose will get you arrested for that.

Would the police be so petty? Hahahaha! They recently revealed on Twitter the ‘weapons’ they found in a sweep in London. A butter knife, a rubber mallet and a garden fork. Derisory. No guns, machetes, Samurai swords (why is it always Samurai swords? I find the short double-edged sword much easier to handle). Not even a big camping knife. Nothing that wouldn’t be laughed at by the man in the street but would be taken very seriously by a dusty judge in one of our zombified courts.

So, imagining they are only looking for 20-molar and above concentrated and actually corrosive acids is not being real. They will arrest you for having cranberry juice. Incidentally, if you don’t know what I mean by ‘molar’, please don’t lecture me on acids.

It’s not just acids that are corrosive. Better not hand out blatant clues but getting past the ‘acid’ part and still having something deadly is not actually a problem for those of us who had a genuine education.

Finally, a lot of legitimate businesses are about to bite the dust. I bought a lot of great stuff here in the past – including the heavy hat in the top banner – and I’ll order something – anything – in the next few days to give them a little boost before the government shuts them down. They have never been linked to any crime, ever. Their only ‘crime’ is selling sharp things. Like these guys and a lot of other innocent businesses too.

Once they ban all blades online, of course, nothing will change in the World of Stabby so they’ll ban the sale of knives in the high street too. Think they won’t? Then you have not been paying attention to how this works.

I already have a peening hammer, plain hammer, files, whetstones, oilstones and a grinder in my tool room. If you don’t, then get those things now before they are banned too.

It’ll be the only way to make something to cut your tofu when you grow up, kids.

Oh, and if they still have metalwork classes in schools, take that class and pay close attention. You’re going to need it.

Better wake up in chemistry class too, if that even still exists. You might need that one.

The White Terror

I drove down to Local Shop today. There was only a foot or so of snow to get through, it was so much easier than the time I drove to Cruden Bay and back again in a blizzard in a mk II Fiesta with no door seals. This time it was touch and go on the driveway which is long and deadly but okay on the rest of the road.

You know, for anyone under 30-odd, this weather looks bad but really it’s nothing. A week or so of snow. Pfft. Easy. It lasted months in the past and it will again. Careful driving could get even a Prius home. It’s not the snow that’s the problem. It’s you, you weak bastards. Take a risk. Live a bit. Just don’t drive like an Audi maniac and you’ll be fine.

Ah, there might be enough to make a snowthing this year. In my kids’ youth we made Snow Tyrannosaurus, Snow Stegosaurus, Snow Marge Simpson, several horrific things and… no. We never made a traditional snowman.

I’m pleased about that because it meant my son didn’t grow up to be Aled Jones and sing at the limit of human acoustical endurance with a song called ‘We’re wanking in your hair’.

And now, every time you hear that song, it is forever ruined. Don’t feel too bad, it was crap before.

The entire cartoon is ruined anyway and not by me. I am not the one who made snowmen transgender.

I think I’m going to have a seizure. pic.twitter.com/G9INBsaKCe

— Oliver Hackett (@OliverHackett) March 2, 2018

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I did not do this but it’s so funny I wish I had. Snowpersons. The Joker can’t laugh this hard. They are made of fucking snow. They are not people at all. Grasp reality, it’s slipping away faster than KY jelly on a greasy pole.

If we get enough snow I want to make one with a horrified look at a snow penis on the ground. The lazy way would be to just uncurl a Cumberland sausage.

Seriously. Snowmen are sexist now – and weather is racist:

Totally 🙈 pic.twitter.com/BcPK71ymp9

— The Safest Space (@TheSafestSpace) March 3, 2018

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Snow is so disgustingly white, isn’t it? Should we spray it black? Oh but then it’s snow in blackface and the whine brigade can crank up the volume. Not that they ever needed an excuse but the white stuff closing everything down must surely be supremacist, right?

Is the modern world ever going to grow up? I think not. I think civilisation is going to fall again. Just like every civilisation before it.

And you know what?

Well put it this way. i like a smoke and a drink. I like salt and bacon. I like the things society (in the form of Public Health) want to deny me. So let it fall.

I’ll still be here. In the cold.

 

The face of Death

It’s going to be a popular look if Public Health England get their way.

As the definition of obesity gets ever narrower, to the point where you’ll soon be classed as obese if the medics can’t check for broken bones by holding you up to a light, so the evil of Public Health expands its war on all living things by forcing us towards photosynthesis as our only means of nutrition.

I’m surprised they haven’t tried that yet. Maybe it comes next. ‘Eat a Vegan diet and you’ll absorb enough chlorophyll so that soon you won’t need to eat at all’. I hope they don’t get upset at me for revealing their 2020 dietary plan too soon.

So far, they only want you to restrict your calorie intake to somewhere close to anorexia. It’s a slow death, but they’ll accelerate it later, I’m sure. When we all look like Death I’ll have the last laugh – I already have a black hooded robe and a scythe.

How am I supposed to survive on 1600 calories a day? That’s not even one bottle of whisky! In Scotland’s winter you can shiver away 1600 calories a day. I’ve never actually counted my calorie intake but it’s a lot higher than the currently recommended 2500 a day – and I’m not getting fat. I’m out every other day chopping wood for the fire and in summer, I’ll burn off a few thousand just cutting the lawns. That’s before I even start on the plant beds and the nettles in the woods. Which is what the scythe was originally for.

I’ll also have to rebuild a wall in spring. Part of the wall between Lawn 4 and Greenhouse 2 collapsed. Six feet tall and made of granite blocks. There are still piles of leaves on one of the driveways and the other has been on-and-off a glacier this winter. There are fruit trees to prune and other trees to trim. And I’ll need to rebuild the wood supply for next winter. I’ve run it down a bit this year.

If I pay any attention at all to this 1600 calories bollocks I’ll look like those photos of the Holocaust by next summer. So I have no intention of paying any attention at all to any of it.

That won’t surprise anyone. I’ve paid no attention to the five-a-week veggie thing nor the 21 units a day alcohol ‘limit’ and the antismokers might as well shout at my fallen wall. I hear they have now reduced their alcohol intake limit. I haven’t.

But then, they don’t expect anyone to pay attention to this new nonsense. That’s not what it’s for. As Christopher Snowdon observes…

The idea of having ‘limits’ for individual meals is entirely new and I suspect that there is an agenda at work here. The 400-600-600 ‘rule’ will allow PHE and its army of scolds to name and shame every restaurant portion, takeaway and ready meal that contains more than the government-approved quantity of calories.

It’s a new way into a tax on takeaways. Tax which will fund more nannying and deeper control. Followed by more taxes.

Start learning to photosynthesise. That’s where they’re heading…