Round 2

An interviewer once pointed out to Bill Gates that the initial terror over Covid had abated and people weren’t scared of this pandemic so much. Billy Gates Gruff, with his trademark smug-faced smirk, responded with ‘The next one will get their attention’.

All viruses are capable of mutating and, as they spread, they tend to mutate into less vicious forms. The reason for this is simple. The initial deadly version kills its victims fast and it kills at a high rate. People learn to isolate those infected – and the infected ones aren’t in any mood to move around spreading the disease. They are generally bed-bound.

A milder mutant, that doesn’t make people ill quite so fast, and doesn’t kill as many, is able to spread more easily. The infected aren’t all confined to bed, they might have a few days of spreading before they show symptoms, so that variant will spread further and faster before it’s noticed. If you catch that one (and survive it) it’s close enough to the original that you’re immune to that too.

So, the deadly original will gradually die out, the still-nasty-but-not-quite-as-bad variant will throw out another, less dangerous variant, and the process continues until the virus becomes no more than an inconvenience.

Of course, this doesn’t always happen over the course of one infection season. It can take decades, or even hundreds of years, depending on the mutation rate of the particular virus. There will be a few that might never get weaker until after we all go extinct. Most, however, will.

Respiratory RNA viruses mutate so fast that they will soon, often over a spell of years rather than decades, join the ranks of viruses that cause the common cold. This is good for us and also good for the virus. The cold is a mere inconvenience – but if the virus remained deadly, then, as with smallpox, we would go all out to eradicate it from existence altogether. We get annoyed with cold viruses but we aren’t going to have a massive program to wipe them out. It wouldn’t work anyway, there are so many different ones now and new ones keep appearing.

This is clearly happening with Covid although it’s complicated by the lunacy of mass vaccination with a lousy vaccine while the virus is highly active. It’s what happened with Marek’s disease in poultry and I’m not going to go over all that again.

The decline to a relatively harmless variant depends, a lot, on how vicious the little sod was in the first place. Covid started with a kill rate of less than 1% of those infected, no worse than flu, so it won’t take long to decline into a cold.

Ebola is a whole different ball game. And we have a suspected case in the UK now.

There is some evidence to suggest that it’s declining in deadliness with new variants but this bugger started with a kill rate of up to 90% of those infected. It’s now down to around 50% so it’s still a very very long way from being described as ‘mostly harmless’.

Of course, the case might not be Ebola. It has not been confirmed. Early symptoms are similar to a lot of other common illnesses, like Shigella, the gut-emptying shit-through-the-eye-of-a-needle bacterium. That little swine can be common in crowded places, like schools, because it’s so very contagious. It doesn’t last too long outside the body but it just takes one carrier to grab that toilet door handle without washing their hands and… kaboom. Literally, for the next poor bugger to grab that handle.

If it’s Ebola, it progresses from feeling terribly ill to wishing it would hurry up and kill you. I mean, you might think ‘man flu’ is really bad but that’s a stubbed toe compared to Ebola. Your chances of getting out of it alive are roughly 50/50 and there might not be much left of you if you do. You will start to spontaneously bleed, internally and externally. Every drop of that blood is infectious. Nobody wants to touch you. Even your decaying corpse will remain infectious for years.

But… it’s not as bad as it sounds. You’d have to come in contact with the bodily fluids of someone infected in order to get this. It’s not airborne. Although it can be in droplets from, say, sneezes, it’s not free-floating like a coronavirus. If you have a mask that stops droplets, it can stop droplets containing Ebola. It still won’t stop a free-floating virus like Covid but if we get an Ebola outbreak, Covid will be nothing more than a welcome excuse to isolate yourself from the disease-riddled zombies.

Now, when I say ‘bodily fluids’, I know exactly what you filthy minded lot are thinking. Trust me, if you do get this thing, you are not going to feel up to emitting that particular bodily fluid. It’ll be in every fluid that comes out of your body. Spittle, urine, faeces (these are not normally considered a fluid but if you have this, they will be), tears and sweat. In the later stages, it’ll be in the blood that leaks out of everywhere.

I suspect sweat would be one of the biggest spreader sources. Why? Well, Ebola outbreaks are mostly in equatorial Africa, where it’s always hot. It’s never appeared in Scotland where a really warm summer is when it gets above 20oC. If you want to get really sweaty here you have to put quite some effort into it. At the equator I suspect you start to sweat from the effort of opening your eyes. I would certainly be incapable of drying myself there.

Here, north of the Ice Wall, touching someone who is sweaty results in ‘Ewww!’ It’s not normal to us. I can envisage that, living in a place so hot that everyone is sweaty all the time, it would feel just as odd to touch someone whose skin is dry. Well, you know, I speak as someone who avoids most contact with pretty much everyone most of the time so I can’t claim to speak for everyone here.

Anyway. If you have a disease spread by bodily fluids – including sweat – it’s going to have a much easier time spreading in hot countries than in cold ones. If you want to get Ebola in Scotland you’re going to have to find someone willing to sneeze, bleed, pee or shit on you and while I recognise that those things aren’t entirely out of the question in certain places, for those of us living in the rurals it’s not really an issue.

If you live in equatorial Africa, you just need to be in a crowd of equally sweaty people. Brush against someone, you have a thorn prick or insect bite in your skin, it’s in. Gotcha. People don’t tend to wear multiple layers there because it’s so warm. In Scotland the virus will have to get through layers of clothing to reach your skin and those layers also make us pretty much thorn and insect proof too.

So, yes, Ebola is a very, very nasty disease but it is not a winter disease. It’s not like the respiratory viruses. It really needs a warm, preferably hot climate to get going. It needs people to actually touch, and without layer upon layer of clothing in the way. Winter is the least risky period for this disease. Certainly in the UK and definitely in Scotland.

So, I know they have an mRNA pretend vaccine ready to go. I’m not taking it. And I won’t be taking any PCR tests for something that, if you have it, you know all about it. It’s not asymptomatic, this one hits you like a speeding truck. You have a 50/50 chance of survival.

That’s actually a lot better than what you get by interacting with modern medics.

What’s behind the veil?

Well, Less Trust has gone. 44 days as Prime Monster. During which time her picks for Home Secretary and Chancellor were also forced out and replaced from the legions of the dead-eyed and the useless. So we are facing yet another Prime Monster.

Who will we get this time? There are rumours that the Fat Scarecrow plans to make a comeback, but it really doesn’t matter. None of them are in charge of anything, they all do as they are told by the men behind the veil. All of them are old, rich white men, by the way. Their lunatic fringes and protestors seem fine with that. Eat the Rich? Don’t be silly. You’ll be lucky to get to eat a rat, as long as you push the ‘net zero’ insanity. You’ll be living on a diet a labrador won’t touch.

Oh and you won’t have any pets either, especially those who are either edible or who require a meat diet. Companionship of any kind is a Bad Thing in the eyes of the New Lunatic Party currently running the show.

Lunatics? Well, how else would you describe those who cut down entire forests to burn for energy and ‘reduce CO2’ when the absolute best means of absorbing CO2 is… forests. Take a look at an oak, a Scots pine, a giant redwood. Every atom of carbon in there was once in the atmosphere. How much CO2 has a giant redwood sequestered by now? How about all those acres upon acres of crops? The carbon in a plant came from the air. It came from CO2. Take the CO2 away and all the plants die.

Since it’s the plants that produce oxygen (they use the carbon part of CO2 and ditch the oxygen back into the air), and since plants are the base level of every food chain, it’s not hard to work out what happens when they all die. The world is back to anaerobic bacteria to start all over again. Absolutely nothing else survives. No amount of money will save you.

And yet this is what the lunatics want. I don’t just mean their idiot drone children, it’s what the likes of Crazy Gates genuinely want. They say money can’t buy happiness. Well it obviously doesn’t buy intelligence either.

So who is behind the veil? Gates? Schwab? Soros? No, they are clearly on this side of it. Behind it are those whose plans keep failing and their patsys take the blame, but those behind simply regroup and try again. This time, perhaps, they have moved too far and too fast. This time there might be holes in the veil.

Anyway. We all need a distraction from the horror show of modern politics. So, here’s a look behind a different kind of veil.

Yes, the Halloween book is finally out. Smashwords and Kindle versions are up, the print one won’t be far behind. (Update: the print version is out now).

So… what did I put behind that veil? The cover is a photograph of some of my cutest ever creations behind a cloth, with a hole so this lovely lady could peek out –

The base is one inch square, to give an idea of scale.

Either side of her are her compatriots. A Grimghast Reaper…

… and a Chainghast. Same scale, the squares on the cutting board are one inch square.

He’s the other way around on the cover.

The back cover features this supermodel-figured heartthrob –

Or was that heart-ripper? It’s hard to tell.

And one of these guys, although he didn’t come out too well so he’s not as visible as he should be. Well, I can re-use him on a later book.

Their horses look a little underfed…

These are all from the game ‘World of Warcraft’ which holds no interest for me as a game, but I do like the little models. They might well feature heavily on future Halloween book covers, and my collection grows – slowly. I have found eBay sellers who will split a box of 10 or 20 of one type and sell one at a time. Sure, it’s more expensive per model, but I really only want one or two of each.

Well, it’s a book full of horror stories, although it’s hard to match the one we currently live in.

It’s very cheap though. And it takes your mind off the real world horrors.

Less Trust

The 18th anthology is assembled into one document and formatted. Since my eyes are not what they once were, I have passed it to Roo B Doo, our much younger and much more attractive co-editor, for a checkover before sending it to authors. Won’t be long now.

I did see that Jerry ‘Rhyming Slang’ Hunt has been given the job of wasting taxpayer’s money. They change so fast now I can’t even remember most of their names. There’s no point, they’re all bloody useless anyway.

The Silly Hunt, he of the mad eyes and a face like a Grinch that just caught Santa in a gin trap, has been fully supportive of the Chinese method of nailing people into their homes to stop them catching a cold. Now Less Trust (CStM’s invention) has put him in charge of the few pennies the UK has left after spending it all on boat people and a war we’re supposed to not be involved in. No sensible leader would put him in charge of a hot dog stand but we haven’t had a sensible leader since… well, probably since King Arthur, and even he threw his magic sword into a lake. Idiot.

Incidentally, I have one of those magnets for trawling lakes for metal things and if I find that sword there are going to be some changes around here. Although I’ll more likely drag out a Ford Corsair’s rusted bonnet…

Our government, like so many nowadays, is just a bad joke. Why does anyone listen to any of them? Well, because the justice systems are also bad jokes enforced by megalomaniacs with guns. Our media are likewise bought off by cretins with money. So are most of the internet companies.

Why do people care so much about money? I’ve never had much of it and it’s never been an issue. If you gave me a million pounds tomorrow I honestly would have no idea what to do with it. I certainly wouldn’t try to use it to control other people because I have no interest in what other people do. I’d most likely die of whisky related liver poisoning within a month, but only on the really good stuff that I can’t afford now. Damn, I’d consider that a good exit!

Yet, every day I hear about ‘more money solves everything’ but it really doesn’t. Give someone like me a lot of money and I’ll either bank it and forget about it or blow the lot on booze and baccy. I am not interested in some ‘legacy for future generations’. If they want that they can read my books but current sales suggests they don’t so screw them.

The government, like most others, is entirely focused on money. They don’t give a shit about jobs or family or happiness or fulfilment. Just money. To them, money is everything. To those billionaires, money is everything too. I say, let them have it. Take it all. Take it, and be welcome.

And then, when they have every digital (and actually nonexistent) penny, ask them what they will spend it on.

Because we’ll have nothing to sell.

Kaboom

All author contracts for Underdog Anthology 18 are out, some have come back in less than 24 hours. It’s been a very easy ride for editing this time, the quality of submissions has been excellent. Apart from a few typos we’ve had pretty much nothing to do! Most of the stories this time are quite long so it could be a somewhat chunkier book than usual. I’ll still be keeping the price to a minimum anyway, of course.

Well I’m still busy with book assembly and I have yet to find a suitable cover so I’ll keep this one short.

It seems Zelensky, one of the two maniacs at war (although as usual, the maniacs who start the war aren’t actually in any danger from it) has called upon NATO to nuke Russia so they won’t nuke Ukraine.

Well no, they won’t, if that happens. They’ll nuke NATO countries instead. Using nuclear does not deter the other side from using theirs. It pretty much guarantees they’ll use theirs.

An analogy. I have a gun and 100 bullets. You have a gun and 100 bullets. You fire one bullet at me. What’s my reaction?

I immediately assume you plan to also fire the other 99 bullets at me so I load up and fire all mine at you before you can reload.

It really doesn’t matter who sets off the first nuclear explosion. The other side has no choice but to respond with all they have before the first side fires any more. If Putin sets off a nuke in Ukraine and there’s no response from the West, he’ll see it as carte blanche to send more. If he sets one off and the West responds with a nuke, Putin will see it as a reason to blitz the West with all he has.

The same applies the other way around, if NATO go along with Zelensky’s insane plan for a pre-emptive strike. Ukraine isn’t in NATO so a Russia-NATO war won’t involve them.Looks like a sneaky way out for him.

Although maybe it’s not completely insane. If NATO get into direct war with Russia, that brings all NATO and BRICS countries into WWIII and everyone forgets about Ukraine. They could end up as the only country on the planet that isn’t populated by short-lived radioactive mutants walking around on glow-in-the-dark glass.

China will definitely get in on the action. WWIII is the perfect cover for them to invade Taiwan, something they have long drooled over and the West can do sod all about it if they’re tied up in a nuclear war.

I hear people claiming that China wants to take over the West. Nonsense. China has no need to destroy the West, our politicians are doing the job for them. Chinese style social credits are already planned, PayPal showed the way with their plans to heavily ‘fine’ (aka steal money from) their users who don’t agree with their politics. They’ve backed off, for now, but they have lost a lot of accounts in the 24 hours after it was highlighted. Their credibility is shot.

I pay a lot of authors through PayPal. I think I’m going to have to find an alternative payment route in the future. Sure, they backed off on this one – for the moment – but I can’t trust them now. They could bring back this insanity at any time, and one word out of place could see your bank balance wiped out (their idea included raiding your bank for the ‘fine’ if there wasn’t enough in your account).

This is an early taste of a digital currency. PayPal won’t let anyone use their service to buy guns or ammo. Not a big issue in the UK, we’d have to physically go to a shop and use real money or plastic cards and have licences anyway for those things – and handguns are completely banned here anyway. But consider… if they can stop the use of a digital currency for one thing, how long before they can stop you using it to buy booze, or baccy, or meat? Once it’s all digital, you have no control over what you buy.

Of course, the EM pulse from a nuclear explosion will eradicate all of that anyway, which makes me wonder if those trying to force this New World Order have any real idea what they are doing. They want us all microchipped, and they are trying to start a nuclear war which will erase every electronic device on the planet. Including the microchips they want to stick in us, and all their digital currency.

It looks like we are being ruled by idiots.

Which, I suppose, is nothing new.

The Devil’s Enzyme

I’ve been reading a lot of bollocks about Luciferase. That it’s a marker that glows under UV light and that it’s linked to Satan, all that stuff.

When I was working on my Honours project for my first degree (1980/81), I had the stinky project. I was working on the gut microflora of Eiseinia foetida, a type of earthworm that lives in compost heaps. Well, the career got gradually stinkier and much nastier after that but that’s not the point.

A friend of mine was working with a marine bacterium called Vibrio fischeri. He grew it in flasks on a flask shaker in an incubator room. When he turned the light off, there were all these rotating flasks giving off a green glow. V. fischeri produces bioluminescence in response to oxygen. How brightly it glows depends on how much oxygen there is, and that glow can be used to detect oxygen down to nanomolar concentrations. Of course, at that oxygen level you can’t see the glow, you need a photomultiplier and associated circuitry, but it really does work. I actually made use of that technique during my PhD, but it was a fellow student who developed it into a useful method.

This bacterium, and many other bioluminescent organisms, produce light using a compound called luciferin. It’s activated by an enzyme called luciferase. The enzyme itself does nothing without luciferin present, and luciferin is not activated without luciferase. UV light is irrelevant here. The mechanism produces visible light, it’s not activated by outside light. It is entirely dependent on oxygen concentration.

If you’ve ever been somewhere warm, even UK-summer warm, beside the sea, on a nicely dark night, you might have noticed a glow flickering through the water as it rolls against the shore. It’s usually called ‘phosphorescence’, and it’s the light produced by marine microbes when the water gets a blast of oxygen as it hits the shore. This is the luciferin/luciferase reaction. It’s perfectly natural and probably millions of years old.

Some say Monsanto or Pfizer or some other demonic company have patented luciferase. That’s not possible. It’s a natural material and can’t be patented. However, they might have patented a technique that makes use of it. I’ll come back to that.

Incidentally, I am also seeing claims of ‘luciferase’ on the swabs used for the ramrod-up-the-nose nonsensical tests. ‘Proof’ consists of running UV light over the swab and observing that the stick doesn’t glow but the cotton pad does. Cotton pads fluoresce under UV light. Try it with any cotton buds. It’s the cotton that lights up.

Now I’m not saying those cotton ramrods aren’t contaminated, there have been quite a few examples of what could be shoddy production techniques or could be deliberate, I don’t have enough reliable info to speculate on that. However, when you light them up with UV they will glow even if they are perfectly clean and sterile. Luciferase isn’t there, and if it was, it would be a waste of extracted enzyme because it won’t do anything – and won’t even last long – up your nose.

The ‘Lucifer’ link merely refers to the light produced in the reaction. It’s really not sinister at all. It’s been named that for a very long time and it was just some scientist thinking it was funny to name it that. Most of scientific research is unbelievably tedious so we do grab any chance to spice it up a bit. It really isn’t controlled by, nor in any way linked to, any demonic entity.

So, luciferase is nothing to be scared of. It’s an enzyme that catalyses a reaction with a compound called luciferin in the presence of oxygen and produces a rather pleasant glow. So, what nefarious purposes could it be put to?

Not many, really. Enzymes, especially when injected into a living organism, don’t tend to last very long. They are proteins and proteins entering your body are either regarded as food and dismantled, or regarded as invaders and smacked down by your immune system. Injecting yourself with luciferase is never going to get you that lovely Chernobyl glow. Even if it is active, it won’t be active for very long and with no luciferin to act on, it has nothing to do.

I really can’t see how Billy Gates Gruff’s ‘quantum tattoo’ can make use of it. If you want something invisible until illuminated with UV, this won’t work but there are many stable compounds that would. Still, it has become abundantly clear that Billy Gates Gruff is an idiot and there are many researchers out there who are more than willing to take full advantage of an idiot with a lot of money to spare.

The only possible way I can see it working in a quantum tattoo setting is if the tattoo contains a stable form of luciferin (not easy to do) and then you dab a swab of luciferase on it. Then it would glow on its own, no need for UV, in fact it would work best if your hand was in a dark box. It seems an unnecessarily complex way to go about things anyway. Surely it would be much easier to just use a traditional tattoo technique, or if you want to get all fancy, a stable fluorescent compound that will show up under UV.

I guess they are trying for something that can’t be easily faked by a backstreet tattoo artist but getting hold of V. fischeri is really not that hard (for someone like me anyway, I just need a jar of seawater). Isolation on agar is possibly one of the easiest isolations you can do – just look for colonies that glow in the dark. Extracting luciferin/luciferase would take time but I have the equipment here. Then I just need someone with tattoo skills and the pattern it needs to take. So it can still be faked and some of us would make an absolute fortune out of it 😉

I am getting to the opinion that the whole luciferase thing is a red herring, designed to get the tinfoil hats spinning. Sure, it might be possible to produce such a glowing mark, but really it’s far too much bother and far too unreliable to be much use at all. Luciferin is a protein too, that tattoo won’t last long. Then again, repeat application of medication does seem to be the modern profit model…

Really, I don’t think this whole luciferase thing is going anywhere. It feels like a handy distraction, the name alone gets people all worked up and the glow can be used to boost the creepiness factor. It’s never going to produce a reliably useful branding mark and there’s no need anyway. The chips are already ready to go, and have been in use for quite some time now. People don’t need to be coerced into it, they fight to be first in line.

As for curmudgeons like me, it might eventually be the case that if you don’t have a chip in your hand, you can’t get into shops, or onto public transport, or even start your car. That would be far, far easier to accomplish than some fancy biochemistry embedded in your skin.

They say the Devil’s greatest trick was convincing people he doesn’t exist. This time, I suspect the trick is convincing people that something imaginary exists, to distract them and keep them panicked over fantasy demons.

Meanwhile, the real demons continue unopposed…

The Green King

My account of the merriment in Newcastle will have to wait, in view of today’s news that Queen Elizabeth II (Elizabeth I in Scotland, and possibly northern Ireland too) has passed away.

She was Queen before I was born and it seemed she was going to be there forever. I wouldn’t call myself a fervent Royalist but I did like and respect our Queen. She stayed politically neutral apart from an occasional gaffe – but come on, if you do a job for 70 years, an occasional gaffe is bound to happen.

The most recent was when she pushed the experimental jabs, calling those of us who refused them ‘selfish’. That took a lot of points off my respect level, for sure. Still, she can’t know everything, she isn’t likely to be familiar with the problems inherent in the (frankly fraudulent) PCR testing that was used, nor in the finer points of microbiology relating to disease transmission. That’s my job.

There have been many smug cretins out today, rejoicing in the death of a 96 year old woman who has done the same job for 70 years and who has done none of them any harm. There have been those claiming she was responsible for things her government did – but she had no power or authority to stop them. The UK monarchy have little to no influence over governmental affairs. She might well have been disapproving, or even outraged, by some of the things the UK government have done over her time on the throne but there was nothing she could have done to stop it.

This is not like the smug cretins rejoicing when Margaret Thatcher died. Thatcher was, indeed, responsible for what her government did but she was replaced by Monochrome Man who was much worse, and by the time she died she had been out of office for decades. There are smug cretins blaming her for things even now, who weren’t even born when she left office.

There was an American smug cretin delighting in the demise of our Queen, claiming she was the head of an empire – but the British Empire was gone long before she became Queen. History is no longer a subject that is taught, it seems.

If it were, those now delighting in the death of Queen Elizabeth the Second might well find themselves wishing she were still around in a year or so. We are entering the time of the Green King, Charles III, and I stand by my prediction that he will have the same effect on the country as Charles I. He is definitely not going to be politically neutral. He is, as Spike Milligan correctly discerned, a grovelling little bastard, in thrall to Darth Schwab and the evil empire he represents.

He won’t beat his mother’s 70 years as Regent, unless he lives to 144, which would just be gross. Still, his father lived to 99, his mother to 96, so he might well have 30 years to push his idiotic Green agenda and ‘great reset’ nonsense and he will. This King is not going to stick to the politically-neutral Royal stance with an occaisional gaffe. It’s going to be a reign of one long gaffe.

If he’s lucky, he won’t end like his predecessor.

Tinfoil overload

Author payment time is coming.It’ll be a day early this quarter since I can’t stay up late on the 31st to catch any last minute sales because I have to be up in the horrible earliness the next day. I’ll explain why after it’s over. So, any sales on the 31st will be paid next quarter. In September I’ll start assembling the Halloween anthology, and no writer can possibly claim they are short of horror story ideas this year! Just read the news.

Blogging has been light because this ‘hobby publishing’ idea of mine has become almost full time, because there have been issues with family getting sick, and that even includes the car which has suffered with ‘lockdown rot’ from not getting much use. Also, the dog is stoned again on multiple medications and seems to have become addicted to painkillers.

Another reason is that, rather than nothing to talk about, there is currently far too much to talk about. Many things happening at once, most, if not all of them, interconnected.

When they told us they wanted us to eat insects, I thought ‘pfft, I’ll hunt rabbits, pheasant, partridge and go fishing’. Well the rabbits have seen a sharp decline, the pheasants have gone quiet and I haven’t seen a deer around here since the early days of lockdown. At least there are still plenty of pigeons.

As for fishing, it turns out that those sewage outflows have killed thousands of fish in one of the Thames tributaries. Raw sewage dumping isn’t new, it’s long been part of our rubbish sewage system and exacerbated by the import of several million more people with absolutely zero improvement in infrastructure to support that extra population. It seems to be in the news now, not because it’s new, but because it’s scary. Who’s going to go fishing if they risk catching a botty-log instead of a brown trout?

So the ‘hunter-gatherer’ option is systematically being erased. What other options do we have?

Recently, a Swedish scientist (I suspect he was called Svenibbal Lektersson) stated that eating human flesh was the most sustainable option for meat. Well, that’s not going to go well. If we were to get a taste for it, ‘Eat the Rich’ won’t be just a slogan and visiting enforcement officers might never be seen again. It’s a very risky proposition. ‘The Hills have Eyes’ was supposed to be just a scary film. Maybe Ed Gein wasn’t a monster after all. Maybe he was just ahead of the curve.

Another scientist has claimed that burying corpses is bad for the environment. You know, putting our bodies back into the ecosystem just like every other form of life, to be recycled, is suddenly somehow bad for the world. Well, I guess they have that solution already – the big ovens at Auschwitz would have clued them in – but wait! Won’t that produce more CO2?

Ah, not if you use the ovens to cook rather than incinerate them. You can then slice and package it and call it lab-grown meat, which is something that will never work on a large scale but provides a perfect cover for the new Soylent Green.

Getting those Halloween story ideas yet? There is one more twist in the insect food story but I’m keeping that one for myself.

Then we have the whole ‘net zero’ nonsense. The ice caps are not melting, the polar bears are not going extinct, the current weather events are just that – weather. Although the usual mantra is ‘climate change’ when things get rough and when it’s normal, ‘weather is not climate’. It’s true. Weather is not climate. A drought in one place is not proof that humans are affecting the climate. As if we were even capable of such a thing.

I’ve seen a few people try to argue that carbon dioxide is ‘beneficial to plants’. It’s not. It’s absolutely essential to plants. It’s what they use to make every part of the plant, carbon dioxide and a nitrogen source (normally from the soil, they can’t use inert atmospheric nitrogen although legumes have made a deal whith Rhizobacterium, the plant feeds it sugars and the bacterium fixes atmospheric nitrogen – but I digress).

Carbon dioxide is very, very low at the moment. It’s been far higher in the past. It doesn’t stay in the atmosphere for years, most of it is absorbed by nearby plant life within hours, if not minutes. That’s why it doesn’t accumulate. You’ve seen how fast grass grows in summer, right? Every carbon atom in every blade of grass on every rolling hillside came from CO2. Including the sugars they metabolise. Remove CO2 from the atmosphere and all the plants die. Shortly after that, so does everything else.

Except the anaerobic bacteria. Once the oxygen is used up and there are no plants producing any more, the world belongs to the anaerobes once again. They’ll rebuild it but there won’t be a single one of the existing animal, plant or insect species in their new world. It’ll all be new, and we won’t be in it. Maybe a semi-intelligent species like ours will eventually arise again and fuck it all up again. The anaerobes will fix that too. Maybe it’s happened before.

We are supposed to embrace the electric car. It’s useless. There isn’t a power grid in the world that could charge them all, and when the battery dies in a few years a new one costs as much as a new car. The batteries won’t be recyclable and they’ll end up in massive toxic dumps while cars that should have lasted decades are scrapped in a few years. There won’t be any second hand sales either – the old ones will cost as much to fix as just buying a new one.

And what will you charge them with on a windless night?

If the lunacy persists, my ideas for a land yacht backed by a steam engine might make me the next Henry Ford. On a reasonably breezy day you can start it moving using the sails while you wait for the steam boiler to reach operating pressure. Just needs wood and water, and it’ll use a lot less of those things than ‘green’ Drax power station.

There is so much more, but I’ll just add the current influx of illegal immigration – yes, they are illegal. They are not fleeing war-torn France, are they? They have apparently walked from Africa, all across ‘war-torn’ Europe and scrounged a dinghy to cross to the UK. On the way they picked up fully charged cell phones, clean clothes and a smart haircut. Oh and they were so brave they left their wives and children to deal with the ‘war’ they ran away from.

If I tried that trip I’d be a hairy stinking skeleton by the end of it. Wouldn’t you?

They are not refugees. They are being well fed and cared for and causing nothing but trouble. So why is our government importing so many of them and refusing to send any back?

Well, the food shortage looms, we are being told we should eat human flesh and healthy fit flesh would be far better than stringy old Grandad, burial of bodies harms the environment, and there’s the nonviable ‘lab meat’ cover for…

I’ll leave it to your imagination.

Pleasant dreams.

Chitin

Okay, let’s start this with ‘what the hell does this guy know about chitin’.

When I started my PhD on the metabolism of ciliate protozoa living in the rumen of cattle and sheep, it was a hot topic. Three years later, I finished, and science had moved on. Rumen protozoa had become a niche topic and there were no openings for a new scientist. So, I diversified. What transferable skills did I have?

Well, I knew a lot about microbiology by then, having gained two degrees in it, and especially about anaerobic metabolism – and I had no qualms about working with stinky things. So my first job after the PhD was a three year post doc on… well this should explain.

That wasn’t the only paper to come out of that project but it was the main one. Anyway, yes, I do know a good bit about chitin and it’s important to know about it because if the idiots in charge get their way, you’re going to be eating a hell of a lot of it.

Its biochemical name is poly-N-acetyl-D-glucosamine, a homopolymer (no it’s not gay, it’s a polymer of one type of molecule repeated over and over). Rather like cellulose or starch, except those are just polymers of glucose.

You can digest starch, mostly, but it comes in two forms. Amylose is just straight chains of glucose and very easy to digest. Amylopectin is straight chains but with branches coming off the chain, like a tree. If you have amylase enzyme you can digest it back as far as the branch points but you need a different enzyme to break those branch points. If you don’t have it, you basically shit out pollarded starch molecules. You’ll still get some energy from it.

‘Oh, so smartass knows all about starches too’. Indeed I do, since I returned to gut microbiology after three years of delving into stinky mud and, a few years later, supervised a PhD working on retrograde starch and its effects on pig digestion.

Cellulose is also poly-glucose but the chains are cross-linked. Humans can’t digest it, in fact neither can cows and other ruminants even though they live on it. Bacteria and protozoa can, and this is what the first stomach of a cow is for. The rumen (actually reticulo-rumen in case a pedant arrives) doesn’t secrete any enzymes. It’s a big bag of bacteria, protozoa and even anaerobic fungi. They do all the work of turning indigestible grass into highly digestible microbial protein and organic acids. The cow absorbs the organic acids and its liver makes glucose from them since the cow gets little to no direct sugar from its diet. The microbes get it first.

Then, once the microbes have turned the lousy food into every known amino acid, the cow moves a batch of them into its omasum/abomasum where they are digested. You can feed a cow with newspapers soaked in piss (bacteria will make amino acids from urea) and it’ll survive on that.

You can’t digest the stuff a ruminant eats. You don’t have a rumen. There are certain amino acids and vitamins you cannot produce and you have to get them in your food. Sure, you can eat grass but almost all of it will come out of the other end. The bacteria in your colon can use some of it, although we don’t all have cellulose degrading bacteria, but it’s the colon. The end of the digestive system. You can’t digest those bacteria.

So, humans can digest amylose starch, partially digest amylopectin starch, can’t digest cellulose. What has this to do with chitin and why should you care?

Chitin is the animal world’s version of cellulose. It’s tough and very hard to digest. Human digestive systems won’t touch it, colon bacteria might get something out of it but like grass, it’s mostly going right through. It’s what the exoskeleton (hard shell) of insects is made of.

So when you hear that insects contain more nutrition than an equivalent weight of beef, that’s discounting the fact that you can’t actually access most of that nutrition. The exoskeleton is made of a sugar, N-acetyl-D-glucosamine which is basically glucose with an amine group and an acetyl group tagged on. But it’s in a form you simply can’t digest, like the glucose in cellulose. Everything in beef is digestible. A large proportion of an insect is not. If you put both in a calorimeter to measure caloric content, the insects would win – but it’s not about how many calories a food contains. It’s about how many are actually accessible.

The ‘eat ze bugs’ pushers don’t care about that. Just like the Pharmers, your health is none of their concern. They just want the money.

Nobody is set up to eat insects. Ruminants can possibly digest them, they don’t hunt them but they probably get a few from eating the grass. It doesn’t matter to a ruminant. They just need a carbohydrate and a nitrogen source and their rumen microbes will make all they need. Human digestion will not work that way.

There has been some indication that too much chitin in your diet can lead to some serious problems. That’s possible – I have a small bottle of pure amylose (starch) that is marked as a potential neurotoxin in its pure form.

‘Oh, but some cultures eat insects all the time’. Sure. They do that because they live where there’s bugger all else to eat. And they generally eat grubs which are soft bodied and don’t have a chitinous exoskeleton until after they pupate. No humans, anywhere, eat insects unless there is nothing else.

We have, over millenia, put a hell of a lot of effort into keeping insects out of grains and flour storage. Why didn’t we just let them eat the grains and flour and then eat the insects? Because that makes us ill. We have known this for thousands of years.

Suddenly, insects are the food of the future. If you really believe insect food is your future, there is one thing you really should understand.

You have no future.

Hydrophobia

Well, we have rocketing food prices, insane fuel prices, impending shortages of everything and now we’re told we are short of water.

Rubbish. This is the UK. Water drops out of the sky most days of the year. And we’re surrounded by it so a few desalination plants and we’d have an inexhaustible supply. Of course that’s far too logical for any government to ever implement.

To be fair, the desalination plants aren’t necessary. As I said, water drops out of the sky for free for most of the year. Water shortages are uncommon here, the last serious one I remember was 1976 when we were told to re-use bathwater and there were standpipes in the streets for water rationing in some towns. In 1976 we had two months of dry weather to get to that point. This year, it took two days.

Two dry days should have passed unnoticed. They didn’t. We have the Madscream Media telling us the world is about to become as dessicated as a raisin and showing us pictures of a yellowed landscape.

It’s harvest time. You know how you can tell when a crop is ready for harvest? It turns yellow. When it’s harvested, the stubble left behind is… yellow. The Telegraph even showed a photo of a yellowed field in which the baled straw was still perfectly visible. Bales of straw that look like this.

And they were all… yellow

Don’t worry, I’m not going to put up a Coldplay video. I have not sunk to inflicting such levels of torture on you.

See, when you harvest grain for sale, the buyer wants a certain maximum level of moisture content. If the grain is too wet, you have to run grain dryers for days, sometimes many days, and that costs a lot of money. Especially with the current insane energy prices. So you want to harvest it when it’s dry.

Well, there’s heavy rain and thunderstorms forecast for next week so this week, harvesting has been frantic. On every farm in the country. This has resulted in an awful lot of yellow fields appearing all at once and the Church of Climatology has made considerable propaganda out of it. Sure, large parts of the UK, especially the eastern side, looks like it’s dry as a crisp in satellite images but when all the farms harvest at once, that’s inevitable. Zoom in on those photos and you’ll see the yellow patches resolve into discrete fields with green bits in between. Under those yellow fields the soil is not dessicated.

We are not short of water. We are short of sensible water policies. Water companies are losing millions of gallons a day through leaky transport pipes and their only solution is to raise prices so their customers pay for their wasteful incompetence. There’s plenty of water, if only the infrastructure had been examined and updated at least once since Queen Victoria’s day.

Another anomaly is the hosepipe ban. I’ve never seen a hosepipe ban since I moved to Scotland. The nearest I saw was in the really good summer in the early 2000s, when Scottish Water sent a letter asking if we wouldn’t mind avoiding hosepipe use unless it was actually necessary. That was once, and it wasn’t a ban, just a ‘we’d rather you didn’t if you don’t mind’ letter.

Further south, hosepipe bans happened every few years when the summers were actually warm. They were announced as ‘don’t use hosepipes from now until we say so’. This year it’s ‘we’re going to impose a hosepipe ban at some specific date in a few weeks time’. Which only makes sense if you don your tinfoil hat.

So, tinfoil hats on, everyone. Are you ready? Here we go.

We have been forecast thunderstorms for weeks. They didn’t happen. It rained but no storms. The forecast is for storms next week, all over the country, all at once. So farms are harvesting at a manic pace all over the country. So there are many fields of yellow stubble, all at once. They appear every year, just not usually all in the same week. These yellow fields are being claimed to be proof of drought by idiots who have never set foot outside the concrete jungles they inhabit.

Announcing a hosepipe ban in advance can have only one result. Every bugger is out washing their car and watering their garden every day until it takes effect. Just as with the rumours of arsepaper shortage, petrol shortage, etc, the prediction fulfils itself.

There is no shortage until you force it to happen.

It’s being pushed hard because the dry spell isn’t going to last long, and they’ll need to switch to ‘Climate Change Floods’ (due to blocked and badly maintained drains) very quickly. You’d be amazed just how fast the general population will forget that they were in the middle of a deadly drought yesterday and they need to build an Ark today.

The water goes deeper (sorry).

So you might be thinking ‘Well, I can collect rainwater if it comes down to it’. By a remarkable coincidence *snort* it has just been ‘discovered’ that there is no rainwater safe to drink, anywhere in the world.

Remember that game of ‘dihydrogen monoxide’? It’s in everything! There were a very few who fell for it and were genuinely scared. This is the same game but on a much bigger scale.

This time, the first response will be ‘Who the hell drinks rainwater? I get mine from the tap’. Eventually the realisation will spread that tap water comes from reservoirs and what refills the reservoirs? It’s there, in their heads, but they won’t see it yet.

No rain, reservoir levels drop. So the reservoirs that supply their tap water are refilled by… rain. Which they have now been told is poisonous. So they dare not drink tap water either.

Cue the bottled water merchants. ‘Oh this is safe, it’s bottled water’. It’s the same water as they get from the taps but it’s safe because it’s in a bottle. Think people won’t fall for it? Try the ‘nicotine in tobacco is deadly but nicotine in patches and gum is perfectly safe’ game. That one worked a treat, didn’t it? It’ll be the same game but with water.

So now you dare not drink tap water and absolutely will never touch stream or rain water so your only source of water is commercial bottled water. Which is, of course, definitely not free. It’s the same water but you are totally dependent on the bottled supply. Can’t afford it? Social credit score too low to let you buy it? Well then you die of dehydration. Comply or die.

I would have been concerned about the report on ‘poison rain’ if it hadn’t appeared at the same time that Mad Hancock was expressing concern over a two day ‘drought’ and the MSM were selling pictures of the annual harvest as dessicated fields of dead grass. In this context I can only dismiss the ‘poison rain’ as all part of the general bollocks pushed by the Church of Climatology and if the forecast heavy rain really does arrive next week, I will expect to see ‘climate change is flooding us all’ being hyped as if the mythical drought never happened.

If you are dependent on anyone else for water, you are under absolute control. Don’t fall for it.

Summertime

…and the living is easy. Fish are jumping, and the cotton is high.

Well that’s until now, when a warm summer has become the unleashing of Hell on earth and we’re all going to die of blood clots.

So, all those areas between the tropics must be devoid of humanity and any other form of mammalian life because the heat has turned their blood to jelly. All those people panicking about the potential 40C temperatures in the UK for one day have just spent pots of money to holiday for two weeks in places where 40C is normal in summer. They won’t die in the Canaries but they’ll surely die here. Oh they’ll believe it. Rational thought is no longer a normal human condition.

In 1976, I was 16 years old and living in Wales. We had around 66 days of hot dry weather that summer. I don’t recall the exact number of days but it was around that number. Reservoirs were drying up, there were standpipes in the street for water rationing in many places and it was seriously hot all the time.

Two months, not two days. We didn’t have thousands of deaths and we had no warnings about spontaneous blood clots. Because they didn’t happen.

Incidentally, the Church of Climatology at that time was telling us we were on the brink of a new Ice Age. Still waiting for that one. Oh wait, they went through acid rain, ozone depletion and then reverted to global warming. None of them happened but hey, that doesn’t even faze their devoted idiot congregation. Still doesn’t.

There was another hot summer in the early 2000s, while I lived in Scotland. I don’t think north Scotland has ever had a hosepipe ban but that was the only time I ever saw a letter from the water companies asking us to not use hosepipes unless we really had to, if we didn’t mind. That was the closest to a hose ban. Water shortages are rare in Scotland, it falls out of the sky most days. It’s rained a few times during this ‘heatwave’ already and it’s forecast to piss down tomorrow followed by storms on Wednesday. Enjoy your sunshine, you lucky, lucky bastards.

That early 2000s one was a good thing and a bad thing. I had great success growing tobacco in the little garden I had at the time but it was very hot indeed. Opening windows didn’t help, there was no air movement outside so no draughts.

Then the August snap frosts started – but the government made ‘grow your own’ illegal at around the same time. It didn’t matter. It’s been too cold to grow tobacco here for almost 20 years anyway. It’s getting too cold to grow much of anything outside a greenhouse. Must be global warming.

So now we have a couple of warm summer days and it’s ‘climate change’. All those years of snap Augusts frosts were just ‘weather is not climate’. We’re back to cold pissing rain and storms on Wednesday but that’ll just be more ‘weather is not climate’ until we have two warm days again and then it’s ‘climate change’. Science is easy when you can just make up the rules as you go along.

And yet, so many will say ‘follow the science’ even though they have absolutely no idea what science actually is. Science, real science, is continual questioning of established knowledge. It is not ‘belief’. It is not ‘faith’. It does not want to be ‘followed’ because it does not lead. It explores. Sometimes it hits a dead end. Sometimes it finds a new path.

Sometimes those who call themselves scientists decide that a big bag of money is a better path than they were looking for. If you think scientists, medics, politicians, live in a world where they can never be bought, you are delusional. These are all human beings and subject to the same failings as everyone else. A great many of them are, frankly. entirely corrupt arseholes.

It has always been so but in the old days, say 30 years or so ago, the corrupt arseholes were few, except in politics. Now they run all the shows. Trust the science? You are insane if you trust anything any more and that is a real shame for the few genuine scientists and medics still out there. Oh there are quite a few but you’d be lucky to find one now.

Now, science and medicine think you have to be scared of a couple of days of warm weather. They tell you it will cause terrible effects that two months of it didn’t cause in 1976. And people will be scared. They will shrink and cower and hide away as instructed, instead of enjoying a rare few days of British summer that would normally cost a lot of money and a long plane flight to enjoy.

When did you all become so weak? So frightened of shadows that you scream and run if there’s enough sun to see yours? When did you begin to regard a cold as fatal? When did you begin to think any sun exposure was guaranteed skin cancer? When did you decide that being a bit warm was far more dangerous than being freezing cold? When did you become a trembling, feeble weakling?

I really think, if you concentrate, you could put an actual date to it. A date when the ramped up fake fear pushed you over the edge. A date when you subsumed your independent life into the Fear Collective. And I bet there will be many with the same date, or close to it.

Money isn’t even real. These notes we pass around are based on nothing. Numbers on a a screen. Even so, some worship it as if it were a god. Collect the paper blessings that will make any god shrug in disbelief. Worthless tokens, usually amassed in bulk by worthless people.

And yet these worthless ones, these useless eaters, dictate how the productive ones should live. With one scare after another, all lapped up by the gullible.

So many of us watched and chuckled at it all. We didn’t mind what the loonies did, as long as they left us alone.

Well now they are not going to leave us alone. They are coming for us.

So what’s it gonna be, droogies?