I’ve been busy with some intensive book preparation lately. I know there are two books on the way in and the next anthology starts mid February so I took a bit of time to finish one of my own. It actually was pretty much finished, I just hadn’t realised it. All it needs now is final editing and a cover.

Well, I said at new year that 2019 was going to make 2018 look sane and so far I have not been disappointed. The insane asylum that is Public Health wants to put us all on rations to combat an obesity epidemic that does not exist. Sugar ‘allowance’ was quietly halved a year earlier so that now we can be accused of consuming twice the ‘allowance’.

They did the same with booze ‘allowance’. It dropped from 20-something units per week to 14 and they act as if that was the rule all along. 14 units? That’s breakfast!

Notice also the sly change from ‘recommendation’ to ‘allowance’. ‘We recommend you have this much’ has become ‘we will allow you to have this much’ as if we are children.

There is also the use of ‘limits’ on all kinds of things. Well I have my own limits, thanks. I know my limit for whisky, if I plan to do anything more than groan into my coffee the following day. I know my limit for bacon, it’s when I can get no more in.

Incidentally, they’re all having a go at bacon, aren’t they? ‘Science’ is now telling us that we’ll get The Lumps from even seeing it. PETA are having a big anti-bacon drive. Again. Oh they are against all meat consumption but particularly bacon. I wonder who they are appeasing?

Have they not seen the lunacy and violence caused by bacon depriivation all over the world? If they want a placid and easily controlled population, taking the bacon away is going to have the opposite effect. The evidence is clear for all to see and in this New Science of correlation = causation it cannot be denied.

Sometimes, as with asthma and smoking, a negative correlation proves causation. It’s a very flexible thing, this New Science. It always proves exactly what it’s paid to prove.

We are now in Dry January and also Veganuary. A month with no booze and no meat. If I follow that I will have worked out how to destroy the planet by mid-January and will have done it before February dawns. Fortunately for the world I am ignoring both of the silly things.

The Dry January will have a lot of adherents among those who don’t drink much but went way off the rails at New Year. They will have a days-long hangover and a month off will sound like a good idea to them. Also, most people are broke in January having spent December’s pay, at least, in advance over Christmas. So cutting out the expense of booze will appeal to them.

I did not get pie-eyed at New Year because I had to drive on January 1st. Scottish drink-drive laws are now at a level that make the Prohibitionists gasp in awe and the police have always been on high alert for any erratic driving around this time of year. I wasn’t going to take the chance. So I did not have the massive hangover of the booze noobs and I budgeted Christmas so I didn’t end up broke.

As for Veganuary, hahahaha! Most of those smug idiots trying it won’t last a week. They’ll pretend they did while sneaking a ham sandwich when nobody is looking. Veganism is a lifestyle choice with the accent on choice. It will never work when it’s forced on people, they’ll just eat each other. Starting with the herbivores.

Incidentally, while writing this, I heard about another one. ‘Januhairy‘. So now I have to cut every hair on my body and some of them are hard to reach. Thanks for that, idiots.

I really can’t wait for Fuckituary.

It’s the early hours of the 5th of January and already 2018 looks sane. This is just the beginning. This year’s lunacy is going to have even the Dreadful Arnott saying ‘hang on a minute…’ Defying it all is going to be a full time job.

Meanwhile in America they have elected a House of Representatives whose only policy is ‘get Trump’. Health, services, running a country, screw all that. They are going to target one man and impeach him whether he’s done anything or not.

The rest of America, well you have to get along as best you can. Your government is busy destroying itself.You voted for it.

The Amazing Occasional Cortex is going to be a lot of fun. She wants to ‘tax the rich to 70%’ even though many of them are Democrats. I expect George Soros will find a way to quietly get rid of her.

The UK tried that in the 1970s. France tried it more recently. The result is always the same. When you hammer taxes on to people who can easily afford to move away, they move away.

You don’t just lose the tax. You lose what rich people spend in shops. You lose the jobs that make the things rich people buy and you lose the businesses they run and the jobs that those businesses were providing. So you don’t just lose the rich bastard you hated. You now have a lot more people on welfare to take care of with a massively reduced tax income.

I’m all clear on tax. I don’t have to pay any more until January 2020. I don’t pay much anyway because I don’t earn much. But if I pay tax at 20% and provide no more than a trickle to the Treasury, and someone on a million a year pays 20% tax, then they are putting in £200,000 a year to the Treasury. How is that not ‘paying their fair share’?

In fact they put in a hell of a lot more because the bulk of that is taxed at the higher rate. I have paid higher rate tax twice and I don’t like it. So I deliberately don’t earn enough to do it again. Work hard, boost your business, end up working for half pay because the government has taken the other half. Why bother?

This is why Leg Iron Books now has a 70/30 split on profits in favour of authors and also why that split will get bigger for the authors if business really takes off. I do not want to pay higher rate tax. I really don’t need that much money. There’s no point, money isn’t even a real thing now. It’s just numbers on a screen. There is nothing backing it up.

And, when the socialists have taxed all the rich people out of the country, they’ll come for the rest of us. Don’t have a big savings pot. They’ll steal it. Eventually they run out of other people’s money and… it wasn’t real socialism.

Yes it was. That is what socialism does. Every time.

Five days into 2019 and the insanity meter has broken its needle already. There is so much more to come.

I am so glad I live way out of town. It’s going to get nasty in there.

Police State

I am working on content for the new Leg Iron Books dedicated website. It’s developing pretty fast thanks to help from someone who actually knows what they are doing. This was not helped by a nine-hour power outage last night due to a storm. Engineers were not going out to fix anything in that weather and when I consider the idea of meddling with high voltage lines in high winds and rain, I don’t blame them at all. I wouldn’t do it.

Still, at least nobody in a Robocop suit turned up to beat me with a baton. So there’s that.

In France, Belgium and increasingly in other countries, something called the ‘Yellow Vests’ is gathering pace. The police in those countries are responding with tear gas and beatings and the levels of violence on both sides are increasing. Is it war? Does that count when one side has guns and the other side has rocks? I have a feeling we’re going to find out, in many places around the world, very soon.

In the UK, the yellow vests are mostly just getting in the way. Real Brits don’t really ‘do’ en-masse violence until pushed to the limit and then we do tend to go a bit over the top with it, it all gets a bit hazy then you wake up next morning and there are heads on spikes and other messy unpleasantnesses to deal with. So far though, the UK protests are not much more than a bloody nuisance. 

The Yellow Vests seem to want different things in different countries. In France they were banging on about fuel taxes but that issue was resolved and the protests have not stopped. Maybe something else is still riling them up? It’ll soon be illegal to talk about that, including in the UK.

The UK ones seem to be mostly about the utter incompetence and sheer two-facedness our government has shown in over two years of pretending to implement Brexit.

In Brussels… I don’t know. A sudden and unexpected wine shortage seems likely.

So will the EU have to impose a police state? Let’s be honest, they would delight in it. They have already set up an unelected dictatorship run by a W.C. Fields drinking competitor and a bloke who looks like the one who played piano in Sparks. We cannot vote for or against them, they are ‘appointed’. It wouldn’t be so bad if they appointed sane and sober people to those posts but the sane and the sober already have real jobs.

The thing about a police state is… it requires an absolutely obedient and brutal police force. Basically, Daleks in human form. France has always had that, really, but this time it’s much, much bigger than a few English football fans getting pissed and annoying the painters along the Seine, or some truck drivers shrugging and frowning around their Disque Bleue.

This time they are bashing their own people, lots of them, hard. Very hard indeed.

Once day a policeman is going to swing a baton, shoot pepper spray or fire a tear gas canister right into the face of his brother, father, sister, daughter. The way things are going, maybe a live round.

It’s going to happen. When it does, that policeman’s conditioning might well break.

And when one breaks, it will spread. Like one bad apple in a barrel, the whole batch will go off.The Robocop Virus will turn most of them human again.

Soon I expect to see French police controlling Italian riots, Belgian police in Finland, and so on. Even the wine-soaked leader of the EU will eventually realise that this will have to happen.

Let’s hope he doesn’t sober up in time.

Save Europe from the EU. Send him a case of fine Chardonnay.

By the time he wakes up it’ll all be over.

You can’t have sharp things

The Christmas anthology is under way and I need to stay on my game for this one. It has to be loaded up in the first days of December if anyone is going to get a copy in time. As with every anthology so far, there is at least one new author in this one and I hope to see a lot of the regulars too. Although, it’s a busy time of year so I can’t really press anyone.

Anyway, more on that when I have something concrete to report.

We have a total ban on hand guns in the UK. Absolute. If you have a handgun, even if you have no ammunition and it doesn’t work, you go to jail. Judges have no discretion in this, if you have a handgun in the UK, jail is automatic.

This even applies to the British Olympic shooting team. They have to go overseas to practice.

It does not apply to MPs’ armed guards of course. They have to defend MPs against people who don’t have guns.

This ban has been so successful that it has increased the rate of people getting shot in the UK to about once a week. How did it manage that? Simple. When they said ‘hand in your guns’, the law abiding people of this land handed in their formerly-legal guns.

The guns held by criminals weren’t legal in the first place. Making them more illegal had no effect at all. So the criminals not only kept their guns, they now knew for certain that any house they broke into had no guns.

Well, not entirely. In some places, and particularly out here in the countryside, shotguns and hunting rifles are not unusual. I’ve never owned a real firearm but I did get a go at clay pigeon shooting with a shotgun once. At university, I had a go at a .22 live round rifle at a club’s open day. The latter was way before the gun paranoia set in. I much preferred the .22 but as a student there was no way I could afford a gun and regular beer drinking as well. I can see the appeal but it’s an expensive hobby. I had to prioritise.

So, if I’ve never owned a gun, why do I care about a gun ban? Well, if someone wanted to break into my house before the ban, they had to factor in that I might have a gun. A rifle or shotgun can be a difficult thing to swing around in a confined space but the burglar had to consider the possibility that there might be a pistol in the house.

Now they have no such concerns. They know there are no pistols in anyone’s house. There might be a shotgun or hunting rifle but those will be in a securely locked cabinet and the ammunition will be well separated from it in a different locked cabinet. While you are fumbling with keys and cabinets they have plenty of time to shoot you with their own illegal handgun or stab you with their already illegal (hint: they don’t care) flick knife.

How, then, would I defend against an armed intruder? Well, I could get the bow out I suppose. I could ask them to have a cup of tea and a biscuit while I put it together, string it and nock an arrow. Even if they were daft enough to agree to that, I use quite long arrows and the bow is pretty tall. It’s that confined space thing again.

I used to have a crossbow, but sold it when I was skint. I might get another one. Even so, while it’s smaller than the bow it isn’t too useful in a confined space and takes a while to load each bolt. Also I fully expect them to be banned soon, in the modern drive to disarm us utterly.

I do have a powerful slingshot and a bag of steel balls but haven’t practiced enough yet. I’d probably break every window without even inconveniencing the burglar.

No, my defensive weapon of choice would be a blade. Any blade I can get hold of. Most rooms here have at least one blade – hanging on the wall or in a drawer or stuck to the big strip magnet on the kitchen wall. Blades are very useful things. Especially in the kitchen.

I’m pretty good at throwing them too. I’d throw a small one, it won’t kill or seriously injure but it will hurt like hell and give me time to get to the big ones. Or maybe one of the axes. My wood splitting axe and sledgehammer for the log ‘grenade’ (it’s a steel cone you bash into the side of a log until it splits) are in the living room, because that’s where the back door of the house is and that’s where I go out to split logs. There are other, smaller, axes placed near to where they are used. Obviously not outside, that would be stupid.

When I was younger I had a swordstick. They’ve been banned for a long time but I didn’t have to hand mine in because I broke it. It was a cheap one from a little shop in Cardiff and it was legal to have it then. Some years later I tried using it to chop down a bush but it wasn’t up to the job. So it got binned long before it got banned. If I’d known I could never get another one I’d have taken more care of it.

I used to have a butterfly knife in my fishing bag. Very useful. I could open it and close it in one movement, with one hand. Then the buggers banned that too.

I never owned a flick knife. I had a Fonzie flick comb that looked like a flick knife. That might still be around somewhere. And I was never clear on what was meant by a ‘gravity knife’. As far as I could tell it was like a flick knife but without the spring.

I used to carry a lock knife until they were banned. The lock was a safety feature, it wouldn’t close on your fingers while you cut open a box or cut through string. That safety feature is illegal now.

In my school days almost every boy had a penknife. Now they’d be in trouble if they had a butter knife.

It’s closing in. Every new law further restricts what you are allowed to have and what options you have to defend yourself. Now we have this bill to restrict it even further.

The ‘zombie knives’ they talk about – I’ve seen them but would never buy one. They are ornaments, meant to be hung on a wall. They have no practical use at all and are made of cheap steel. As far as I know they have never been used in a knife attack. Those attacks normally use kitchen knives or machetes.

The ‘possession of corrosive substances in public’ will be applied to the bleach and vinegar in your shopping bag and the acid in your car battery. What’s that? You think there will be some common sense here? Hahahaha!

As for buying knives online, teenage hoodlums do not do that. Ever. I do it, I recently bought a machete for garden purposes. Don’t think I need that much blade? Well this is no suburban square of grass. If I told you I recently bought a ride on mower and have a scythe which gets used every year, perhaps that will give it some perspective.

No, city hoodlums don’t buy knives online. They go to Mum’s kitchen drawer and take their pick. If they want something bigger they talk to the dodgy guy in the raincoat at the back of the pub. If they are doing something illegal they do not want that weapon traced to them.

I note the bill places another layer of restrictions on the types of gun that are never used in shootings here. That is not to combat crime. What would you imagine that might be for?

What the bill does, mainly, is to make it a lot harder to get even a steak knife. For anyone. This is going to achieve nothing at all in terms of the stabbings and shootings that are happening daily now. Not a damn thing. That’s not what it’s for.

It’s tightening the noose. Not on the criminals, they won’t be affected at all. It tightens the noose on the rest of us. Soon you will have to learn how to carve a roast chicken with a plastic spoon and a hard stare. And the stabbings and shootings will continue. This bill seems to achieve nothing but it does exactly what it sets out to do. It removes another layer of defence for the public. The next one will remove more.

When I was at school, there were the compulsory subjects for O level: mathematics, English language and English literature. The rest were options. I took French because I thought it might be useful but since 1976 I’ve been to France twice so I’ve pretty much forgotten it all now. I took chemistry, biology and physics because that’s what I was interested in. I also took an optional one year O level called Engineering Science and passed it without knowing, to this day, what it was really about.

I had one option left to fill. The school had just merged with another and for the first time, metalwork was an option. If it hadn’t been I’d have gone with woodwork, which was fun, but metalwork was something new. So I opted for that.

I would never have been a blacksmith but basic stuff, easy. I can temper and anneal. I can braze and solder. I can cast. I can take a decent bit of scrapyard steel and make a knife so sharp you won’t be able to see the edge. A full tang blade with a wood or leather handle, heavy, forward weighted, and very sharp indeed.

Making a knife is not difficult. It’s just much easier to buy one – at the moment. I don’t have a forge but if I start with something already strong, say a car/truck suspension leaf spring, the forge isn’t needed. It’s all cutting.

I have never attacked anyone with a blade of any kind. I’ve been attacked with one but never used a blade on anyone else. But I can make one. Heck, if it came right down to it, there’s a lot of flint lying around here and I could learn flint-knapping.

You cannot ban knives. They are easy to make. You can make a stabbing weapon out of a pencil, for Pete’s sake. This new bill will have as much effect on criminals as every other weapons ban. None at all. It’s not for them, none of it ever is. It’s for us.

Maybe I should learn flint-knapping. The way things are going it’ll be the only way to carve a roast soon.

That’s if the proposed meat taxes allow any of us to afford such luxury.



Armageddon outta here

The world is accelerating into chaos at a rate popcorn manufacturers are going to find it hard to keep up with. It is logical to assume that a pure ‘anti-christ’ would be a woman, and to keep the ‘anti’ total, she would be born to a man. Impossible, right? Not any more. With all this gender reassignment crap, one person can now be both mother and later father. The scene is set.

Supernatural? Not a bit of it. Those behind the scenes might well believe it but it’s really just manipulation to get what they want. The world’s religions all expect Armageddon, a day of judgement, and whether there is to be a real one or not, there are moves afoot to make it appear to happen. I’ve said many times that it does not matter whether you or I believe in the supernatural. What matters is whether those in control believe they are doing its bidding. Or indeed, whether it merely provides a conveniently credible backdrop for achieving total control.

And so, we have madness that does indeed look like the End of Days. I can’t cover it all in a blog post nor even in a book, it would need to be updated daily and would never end.

In Pakistan, a woman caled Asia Bibi was condemned to death. Why? Because she is Christian and she drank water from the same cup as a Muslim woman. ‘Two girls, one cup’ is illegal in Pakistan. Yes, I am taking the piss and yes, they deserve it. It might well be their culture but it is unquestionably silly. Sure, they can be silly if they want. And violent, they seem to like that, but I will never go there so I don’t care all that much. There is plenty to worry about at home without concerning myself with other countries’ lunacy.

Asia Bibi was acquitted of heresy after nearly a decade in prison. The mob response? Kill her anyway. Kill the judges who acquitted her. Kill all Pakistani Christians. Yeah, we import these people by the boatload and that is a Good Thing.

We don’t seem to import many Pakistani Christians but then they tend not to do things the elite enjoy, like setting up paedo rape gangs and blowing up teenagers. I’d say we should take every Pakistani Christian to the UK and leave the mad buggers behind but I know I will be called racist for that even though they are all the same race. What the hell. We are all racists now. It really doesn’t matter any more.

Meanwhile in America, something called mid term elections is happening. In the UK we do it the sensible way and elect a bunch of idiots all at once so we don’t have to do it again for years. America elects part of its government for 4 years and then halfway through, elects the other half. Bloody rebel colonists, they just have to make it complicated.

Anyway, lunacy has been firing up over there for a while. Red vs Blue, the other way around from the UK and you can’t take the middle road because that’s Green and is dafter than either extreme. I just wish I could vote infrared or ultraviolet or microwave or something because the visible spectrum is entirely occupied by maniacs.

There is now the Blue Wave and the Red Wave over there. In the UK that would probably come out as the Red Wave and the Very Red Wave because we don’t have Conservatives any more. I don’t want to get into the merits or demerits of either side at the moment because I don’t live in America so, as with Pakistan, as far as I am concerned they are free to do what they want to each other. I wouldn’t feel comfortable in many places over there now, one wrong word and you’re classed as one side or the other even though I’d have no vote. I would quite like a MAGA hat though, because I like hats in general and because it would confuse the hell out of British voters. A Conservative message on a red (Labour) background is baffling to us. Over here, turn up to vote in that hat and they’ll have a really hard time working out where you stand.

Which would be more troubling? Lunatics like Maxine Waters (yes, Dems, yes she really is) and the Amazing Occasional Cortex (you know who I mean) getting control of part of the American Government, or Trump’s Republicans having total control of the government?

Neither is good. UK readers – imagine if Tessie Maybe had a massive majority in Parliament right now. The shit she would shovel onto us would be suffocating. DNA database of everyone. Internet controls that would make Kim Jong Jingly Jangly gasp in admiration. She wanted those things when she was Home Secretary and she still wants them now.

Yes, Jerry Cordite and his Loony Crew would do the same if they had power – but they will oppose it because the Tories suggested it. Their refusal to endorse anything the Tories suggest is what is currently saving us from the utter insanity of a Tessie Maybe Panopticon country.

Any government needs an effective opposition. Without that, there is nothing they cannot push into law and no matter how wild they get, there is nothing to stop them.

Now, I do not believe for a moment that Trump is some wild dictator. He’s a wild card, certainly, but I think that, at heart, he is genuinely trying to do his best. However, given absolute power, could he become corrupted? When he comes up with an idea that he thinks is good, and there is nobody on the other side to point out any cracks or flaws, what then?

He isn’t likely to do anything actually evil but he’s a businessman and business can be brutal. Oh, he won’t deliberately do anything evil but when you play chess, does it matter if you lose a few pawns? He does need someone Socialist (there are still some sensible ones) to point out that a country is not a business and real people are affected by government decisions.

Tessie Maybe is a different matter. She really does want total control and is doing anything she can to get it. She is far more dangerous than Trump could ever be.

Anyway, the Rebel Colonist midterm elections are only part of the lunacy surounding us all.

We now have more varieties of gender than we have of Heinz products. There are two genders. Male and female. There is also hermaphrodite, which is rare but real, but that is showing both male and female. It is not something separate.

You might be a man who prefers to sleep with men or a woman who prefers to sleep with women. That does not change your gender, it’s just your preference.You are not a separate gender.

Maybe you are transexual, maybe you feel very strongly that you were born in the wrong body. You are not a separate gender, you are either a male who wishes to be female or vice versa. Still only two genders here.

Maybe you are asexual – this is not a gender at all, it is entirely personal preference. Bisexual, goat shagging, tree humping, none of these are genders. They are how you want to live and as long as you hurt nobody in the process, I really don’t care. Unless you are spectacularly well endowed and can go at least 30 times a night, goats and sheep aren’t likely to be bothered either.

Trees operate on a timescale where a two hour shagging of a knothole feels like a mosquito bite so they really won’t mind. They might reciprocate with splinters but hey, you make your own choices and take the risks you are happy to take.

The mass of genders has only one purpose. To eradicate gender altogether. People are getting in trouble for using the wrong made-up pronouns or for calling a girl a girl when she identifies as a boy. Wouldn’t it be so much easier if gender was totally eradicated? Won’t it be so much easier if we had gender neutral identifiers so instead of being called ‘George’ or ‘Alice’ at birth, we were just assigned a number? Think nobody will accept that? Come on. They’ll be demanding it soon.

That’s followed by being neutered at birth so your kids grow up as compliant, genderless worker bees. Nobody will go for it? They are already grabbing hard on the trend of transexualism, effectively neutering their offspring. This is not fantasy, this is just the next logical step. Does it take a majority? Homophobia. Islamophobia. Transphobia. These are punishable ‘hate crimes’. Are any of them from majorities? Noisy, well funded minorities, even tiny ones, can make it happen. They have before and they will again and they have no idea of the end game they are pushing. I call them Trotskies because when they win they will be airbrushed out. Don’t try to tell them, they won’t believe you. Trotsky didn’t.

The compliance? Oh that’s well under way. I remember when my father was obliged to fit seatbelts to his car. I remember my mother berating him for not using them and his response – ‘I have to have the bloody things but I don’t have to wear them’.

Later, of course, it became compulsory to wear them. By the time I learned to drive, wearing the seat belt was just part of driving. It was normalised, far deeper than compulsory.

Now we have normalised hate. All over the place. Dems agains Republicans. Labour against Tories. People with brains against the SNP and Greens. Even within those divisions there is hate. You can be the wrong kind of Labour MP now. Or the wrong kind of Tory.

We smokers? Well, we just sit back and watch the show now. Vapers hate us so we aren’t all that bothered when their turn comes around. Welcome back to Hateland, you pompous among the vapers. Oh I know they are not all like that but the ones that are surely deserve it. We don’t do the Pastor Neimoller thing because they already came for us and nobody spoke out, so don’t look to us to speak out for you now.

And let’s be clear here, smoking bans are just the way in. Look at this, where a Scottish council wants to ban smoking on breaks.

We are not talking about banning ‘smoke breaks’ which are portrayed as ‘additional breaks’. We are talking about banning smoking on scheduled breaks. We are talking about the council effectively controlling their employees’ free time.

At the moment, many are against it. But the upcoming generation will be all for it. They will accept controls on their home lives. Why?

They have grown up with the Lunchbox Police. Schools control what they are allowed to have in their packed lunches and they will accept that their employers can do the same. They will readily accept that smoking is not allowed on breaks just as they will readily accept that their employers can dictate the food they bring for lunch. And they will not see any connection. NPC10538 will never step out of line, personal pronouns ‘it, it’s, thing’s’ and when it does it will be quietly retired.

You don’t want this world? Of course not. You have not been brought up to want it. Just as I grew up in a world where smoking was just something people did. Where I could come back from a camping trip and walk the streets of Cardiff with a rucksack and a fairly hefty camping knife on my belt and nobody cared. Where I could carry a locking pocket knife and nobody minded at all. Where I could walk around the streets with a .22 air rifle (broken open) and nobody batted an eyelid.

I didn’t want the world we have now. I could buy fireworks when I was 12 and sodium chlorate, sulphur and (the other ingredients) when I was 14. Oh, and all those ads telling you that putting a banger in a bottle will make it explode? Lies. I tried it over and over and it never worked.

Kids can’t do any of that now and the restrictions are getting tighter and tighter and children are taught that this is normal. No, you do not want the future I paint but I didn’t want the one that we have now. Those that came after me were taught to accept it and to want it.

As the next generation are being taught to accept and to want the next phase.

The Church always taught Armageddon as a quick thing. A day or two, a sudden apocalypse. They never taught it as an incremental takeover over a few generations.

That’s why we don’t notice it happening.


Modern Politics

I don’t have a political affiliation. I agree with some points from each side of the divide but not by enough to actually join either side. That’s because every side has things I definitely won’t support.

On immigration, for example. Here’s how I’d do it.

Anyone can come in. Anyone at all. No restrictions. BUT…

Anyone moving to a country must adopt the laws and customs of that country. We have had the ridiculous situation in the UK where a rapist was released because ‘he didn’t know rape was illegal’. Yes, really. Ignorance of the law used to be no excuse. Now, by precendent, it is a valid defence. Any good defence lawyer could get anyone off any crime with the ‘I didn’t know’ argument and cite that case as precedent.

In some countries, having multiple wives is fully legal and normal. In some, marrying children is legal and normal. Those two are not religion-based. They are culture based. In some countries, beating to death those who don’t agree with your religion is legal and normal. In some countries, people are divided into a social heirarchy based on an arbitrary matrix that depends on which parents you are born to. If you want to move to those countries, you have to accept that those things are legal and normal there.

They are neither legal nor normal in the UK. Do those who come here accept that? Actually, most do. A small number do not and yet they are not corrected nor punished by the courts. They are excused with ‘It’s their culture innit?’

Well you try having a gay pride march in Saudi Arabia and tell them ‘it’s your culture innit’ and see how far that gets you. Telll Mexico you don’t like chillies so they have to stop putting them in the food. Tell France they have to give up wine and garlic because you don’t like those things. Go to America and tell them you don’t agree with their Constitution and demand they do things your way.

If you are lucky, those countries will just deport you. Some of them have other, more permanent, solutions.

Different countries have different laws and different cultures. Which set of laws, which culture is the best one? That is entirely subjective. It depends on what you like and how you want to live.

I own no guns and don’t want one. I don’t need one in the UK, we don’t have bears or wolves or mountain lions or poisonous snakes (well, we have the adder but for normal healthy people its bite is painful but rarely deadly, and I haven’t seen one in the wild in 58 years). If I wanted to own a gun I would move to a country that allows it.

The UK does allow hunting/target rifles and shotguns if you want to go through all the paperwork to get one. They are expensive and I really have no use for one so I haven’t bothered. Handguns are banned for everyone except criminals. They aren’t hard to get if you hang around the right people. But they are unregulated and there is a chance it’ll blow your hand off first time you fire it – and of course, there are no practice ranges or any form of training available.

If I moved to a country where I might well find a dangerous animal in my garden one day, one that is very likely to kill me, then I would like that country to allow me to own enough firepower to win that fight. Basically, if your country has large predators and your people can’t have guns, I don’t want to go there.

So I’m happy where I am. I don’t want or need a gun here. The most dangerous animals to venture into my garden are badgers and foxes and they’ll leave you alone unless you severely provoke them.

We currently have immigrants who come from places where it’s normal – and sometimes actually necessary – to be armed at all times. They have escaped that country and, I suppose, old habits die hard. Carrying a machete is just normal to them, they’ve done it all their lives. Nobody seems to have told them that it is not only not necessary here, it is actually very illegal indeed.

Move to a country, adapt to that country. Do not try to foce them to adapt to you or accept you in some ludicrous ‘multiculturalism’ experiment. Multi-ethnic societies do just fine, the UK was one for a long time before the insanity set in and okay, we had racists, including violent ones (I’m thinking skinheads, we used to call them Densa Boys but never to their faces) but they never had popular support. Now we have a lot fewer openly racist idiots but practically everyone is called racist. It’s as if someone wants to stir up the old Skinhead days.

Multiculturalism cannot work. One culture does not carry anything bigger than a pocket knife. Another thinks a machete is a necesary tool at all times. Another decides it’s fine to get a gun and just shoot your rivals. You cannot mix these things.

So, in my hypothetical country of Underdoggia, you can come and go as you please. While here, you live by our laws and our customs. You can bring new customs and new ideas and if they prove popular, we’ll adopt them.

If you can get here, we let you in. We are not paying you to come, we are not providing free transport and we are not responsible for your welfare while you are here. You want a house? Buy or rent one. You want a regular income? Get a damn job.

The one exception would be healthcare. I would have a central health system run by a Public Health department whose remit was to cure disease and prevent its spread. Mission creep will be stamped on hard and some will no doubt go to jail for misuse of (very limited) public funds.

It is possible that people will arrive who are running from a place where there is a rampant epidemic of something nasty. They will need to be screened and if necessary, isolated and cured before being released into the general population. Otherwise they’ll soon be running, like everyone else, from the same rampant epidemic in Underdoggia. So yes, we do need a central and ‘free’ (paid through taxes) health system but only for actual illnesses. No lifestyle controls. If you want to spend the entirety of your one and only visit to this life in a cocaine coma, well you just go ahead. As long as you don’t bother anyone else, nobody cares.

You can, of course, take out medical insurance to cover things that are annoying but not fatal or debilitating, and you can pay for elective surgery if you want it, but the central health system, the ‘free’ part, is only there to try to stop you dying (or to make it at least painless if incurable) and to prevent the spread of disease. Nothing more. It does not judge your lifestyle, it just tries to fix what is wrong with you.

No current political party would support that approach. One side wants ‘anything goes’ open borders and the other wants a points system where you have to prove you don’t need any help before they give it to you. I want something in between. Nobody offers it.

You can move to Underdoggia if you have nothing, but making something of your life is up to you. There are no free rides. If you have paid in to the system there is a safety net in case you are suddenly unable to work or lose your job through no fault of your own. You can live on it but it won’t be fun – unless you are permanently and irrevocably unable to work. Then we can be a bit more generous.

There’s a catch though. You have to have at least paid in or been born here. You can’t drag your legless torso across half the planet to get freebies. That sounds cruel and it is, but if I were to offer free stuff to all the world’s cripples, all the world will send them here and I’d be bankrupt within a year. Underdoggia is a pleasant place but it has to run on a budget. It cannot afford to take on all the world’s ills. If it tries it will die and then we all starve.

It’s a good feeling to be able to say you will take all the poor, the damned and the useless and it’s a laudable aim. Sure, take in everyone who can’t fend for themselves but how are you going to pay for it? Do that as a country and your working population will be taxed to the hilt. They will resent you and they will resent those you brought in. Then they rebel. They vote for anyone who says they will stop you and well, you can guess where that ends up. I mean, it’s not as if it hasn’t happened many times before.

It’s happening again. Politics is becoming more and more violent. Parties are relying more and more not on ‘what we will do for you’ but on ‘what they will do to you’. You are not voting for improvements, you are voting to not be the ones sent to the camps. It won’t work, it never does. Jews who collaborated with the Nazis, even the ones working in factories that made Nazi war helmets, were sent to the death camps anyway. You vote for death camps, don’t be surprised when you end up in one.

We all hear about the 1930s/40s and Hitler’s mob. Cambodia’s regime was more recent than that. North Korea is still doing it. Don’t imagine humanity has outgrown death camps. We’ve just found better ways to justify them. It is not over yet, not by a long way.

This round of divisive, ‘the other side is wrong about absolutely everything’ politics is the most vicious yet. There is no middle ground any more. You will have to choose a side soon and whichever one you choose, millions of people will want to kill you.

Underdoggia will remain neutral. A safe haven where you can watch the world devour itself in hate.

What a pity it doesn’t exist.




Chips with everything

A long time ago, I made a statement that not everyone agreed with. Well. Actually I do that all the time but I’m talking about a specific one here. I think it was during the controversial proposal that children should be microchipped so if the Glitter Gang kidnap them, or they fall into the well when Lassie isn’t around, they can be quickly tracked and found.

I was not keen on the idea because those children will grow up, and then you have a completely trackable population. Forget number plate recognition and CCTV. Every step you take, and in which direction, will be recorded on a central database. Further, those chipped adults won’t think twice about having their own kids chipped. In one generation, being microchipped becomes normal, and anyone refusing is seen as odd. That bothers me for some reason.

Children are always an emotive subject, and any suggestion of doing any kind of invasive procedure on a child will get a sharp ‘no’ from any parent worthy of the title. The scheme was dropped.

What I said at the time was along the lines of ‘Adults will be microchipped and they won’t resist. Far from it. They will fight to be first in line’.

Implanted chips that allow access to restricted areas have been around for years. Really though, they are only in use in limited areas so far – but their use is spreading.

Contactless card payments came out a while back. You don’t have to slot your card into a machine, you just tap it on top, because that saves you at least three seconds of typing in a number. I don’t like them, and it was obvious that the next step would be to implant the card’s chip in your hand. Sounds ridiculous?

It’s here, and the chip makers are struggling to keep up with demand.

My phone has a 48Gb micro SD card in it. You can buy much more memory in the same size package. A tiny glass-encapsulated chip could hold a hell of a lot of data. The code for your house and your car, your bank details,your medical records… they’d hardly make a dent in the amout of memory that could be in there. It could hold so much stuff.

There are already cars with keyless ignition. I’ve driven some – rented or courtesy car, I won’t buy one – and you just need the fob in your pocket to start the car. There is no physical key, no keyhole on the ignition and none on the door.The freakiest was a hybrid Prius. You press a button, the Star Trek dashboard boots up, there is no sound from under the bonnet even when you start moving! I don’t want one, although the heads-up speedometer on the windscreen was cool. I liked that part. As for the rest of the dashboard, I had no idea what that was telling me.

Why won’t I buy one? What if you drive out to the wilds of Scotland, have a really nice day out, get back to your car and the fob battery is dead? I bet almost nobody carries a spare battery for that thing and if they do, they leave it in the car. Which you can’t open because the battery in the fob is dead. Implanted chips don’t use batteries, they work something like RFID (I’m not an electrical engineer so don’t ask me – I’m sure someone in the comments will have the answer). So they would be an easy sell to anyone who’s experienced a dead car fob.

In the future, instead of stealing your house keys, car keys, bank cards… a criminal will get all those things at once by cutting off your hand. Isn’t that a comforting thought?

I have many such chips in ‘Panoptica’. Nobody has Borg gadgets, all the chips are for monitoring and control. It’s taking a very long time to write for a few reasons. The biggest one is that I have to get into – and stay in – the head of a character who is my exact opposite. Someone who accepts every rule without question, who follows every instruction, who is happy with their slot in society and has no ambition to change anything, ever. Someone to whom the entire concept of saying ‘Oh fuck off, I’m not doing that’ is not even imaginable. Staying in that character’s head is exhausting.

There was also the problem of credibility. A genderless drone population? Solved, the new 57 varieties of gender made that part easy. I covered it in a story in ‘Six in Five in Four‘ last Easter. Getting the chips in was solved long ago, and my argument that it would be easy is now proved.

I have to get more of that written before it all comes true. It’s not easy, every time I write something bizarre it seems to be in the news the next day and as I said, writing a totally compliant drone character is exhausting. I can’t hold that mindset for long, I don’t know how the NPCs do it.

Anyway, I have the Christmas anthology up next. I have renamed Christmas as Earth Day for this new (hopefully imaginary) world and this Christmas anthology needs another tale of progress towards Panoptica.

This one will be the stage where names become numbers.

Look at your wage slip or tax form and tell me that will never happen.

You might be one of those who told me people would resist implanted chips…


Coming together and falling apart

The Halloween anthology is ready to go. I’m just waiting for one author’s response to edits and it’ll load up. I’ll be glad to take a rest after this one – my sleeping pattern is now all over the place and I’m losing track of what day it is!

I’d like to get this one out before Theresa May gets kicked out. There’s a reason, and it has to do with the traditional corrupted poem at the end.

It has come to light that when CreateSpace merge with Kindle (Kindle will them make all the print and Kindle versions, which will save a bit of time), the CreateSpace cover creator is not compatible with the Kindle cover creator for print books. Since I load up cover images rather than use their templates, that might not be a problem – but it might mean I have to re-do all the covers. If I do, I’ll make them all one-piece covers.

Anyway, the book is coming together. Meanwhile, the rest of the world is falling apart.

Brexit is a shambles. Theresa May seems determined to put the Conservative party on a level with the Church of the Militant Elvis, aided by ‘Lurch’ Hammond, who intends to have a Brown Gorgon-style raid on pension funds and raise more taxes.  That’s right, Deep Socialism from what was once regarded as a ‘Conservative’ party. This is to pay for extra nannying from the NHS and their Public Health Stasi who are now at the stage of limiting the size of pizza. This is not parody. Parody is long dead now. If ‘Spitting Image’ tried to make a comeback they simply could not do it.

With the Tories now firmly on the Left, what of the original Left? Have they welcomed these totalitarian fuckwits into their fold? Not a bit of it. The Labour party is now so far to the Left, Stalin can’t see them. Ultra Leftie Students in Cambridge have voted to have nothing to do with Remembrance Day. The University has been on Twitter to denounce the abuse directed at their utterly moronic and worthless students even though the whole of Cambridge, if not the whole country, is brought into disrepute by their actions.

In Sheffield University, a visit by Nick Clegg has been cancelled because of threats of violent protest by ‘left wing’ students. Look, if you think Nick Clegg is in any way ‘right wing’, you really need to take a long hard look at your political stance. You’re in a place even Marx never dared venture into.

Police have been told they cannot display poppies on their police cars for Remembrance Day although expensive paint jobs to cover those cars in rainbow colours for the Poofs Parade is actively encouraged. As is dressing police officers in ridiculous outfits and setting them the task of policing online words rather than tackling actual crimes. All so that the oafs in charge can pretend they don’t have enough money. The general public, unsurprisingly, are not happy about this and the actual police officers aren’t happy about it either. Nobody in charge cares, because nobody in charge has the capacity to think ahead. Like Tessie May’s gang, they think about today and money. That’s it.

The EU is collapsing. If our government would only realise it they’d jump ship now with no deal – because we won’t need a deal. There won’t be an EU to deal with, we’d make deals with the individual European countries instead. Just like in the old days. As for Frau Merkel and her Fourth Reich, well even the Germans have had enough of that crap.

Italy will soon begin mass deportations. Austria will follow. Hungary, Poland and friends have avoided that issue by not letting them in in the first place. Denmark is bringing in tougher anti-Islamist laws, even Sweden is starting to drift towards nationalism although I doubt that will be a fast transition. It’s not in their nature, they’ve been driven to it and won’t like it, but they have been left with no choice.

The Middle East has entered a state of perpetual war in which nobody is going to back down. America is heading for a civil war in which people with lots of guns are provoked incessantly by people who can’t make up their minds what gender they are. That will be a short war. America is about to enter mid-term elections and looking at it from outside, it looks as if the Democrats are heading for oblivion. They are becoming increasingly violent and insane, and it is turning moderate and swing voters away from them in droves.

Meanwhile in the UK, we have a Conservative party that obviously does not want to be anywhere near Government for the best part of a century and the alternative is Stalin’s Little Helper and his gang of crazed and violent madmen.

Halloween is coming, and a few days afterwards, Earth gets a visit from a comet that’s shaped like a skull.

I’m not a great believer in cosmic signs but I’d say there’s something very, very big that’s about to change.

It’s not going to be an easy transition.