Stupidity

I was listening to a kindred spirit, Foamy the Squirrel, this evening and he had a rant about stupid people. It was the usual totally over-the-top rant but he did have a point. I’m not sure he really made it though.

Here’s the rant for those who can take his wildness.

His point was that protecting stupid people with laws enforcing safety is dumbing down the entire race. We should let Darwin’s Natural Selection operate as intended. Well, we used to do that and while it was messy, idiots only did idiotic things once.

However, I’d go further.

My car has four wheel drive. Not all the time and (to my disappointment) it does not have a big lever to engage four wheel drive. The car does it all on its own. If the front wheels start to slip, it engages the back wheel drive all on its own.

It also has an automatic gearbox which I’ve decided is an idiotic machine. It changes up the gears far later than I would. Every time, I have gritted teeth as the engine revs climb and I’m thinking ‘change up, you bastard’.

I have only once tried to teach someone to drive. She paid for lessons instead.. You either learn it in the first five minutes or I give up teaching. I can teach you microbiology and I know it can take time because there’s a lot of it and some of it is hard, but a car only has a few buttons, pedals and switches. that matter. Mine has some I might never press… and it’s automatic, you don’t even need to learn gear changes.

The sunroof button (yes, the buggers make those electric too now) isn’t likely to get a lot of use in Scotland.

But I digress.

The car has all kinds of safety features that were once only found on Volvos. It means I can drive like a dick and know I have a better than average chance of walking away from a crash that will write off the car. I don’t drive like a dick because I blew my entire car budget on this one and can’t buy another one. But I could.

When I was driving my first car, a MkII Ford Cortina I bought for £75, it had no safety features. It barely had a dashboard. The steering was so loose I’d start turning the wheel a few metres before the corner. I took all the rubber plugs out of the floor to stop the leaks filling it with water and often drove it with only the driver’s seat installed. Sometimes it was even bolted to the floor.

It was a shit heap. So I drove very carefully indeed. If that car was totalled in a crash it was very likely to total me too.

Well okay, I did make the passengers jump now and then but the Cortina had corners you could see. Not like the modern ones where you can’t see where the front or back ends are. This was a rectangle when viewed from above and the driver had sight of every corner. I drove that thing through gaps with a quarter of an inch to spare each side. I wouldn’t do that with a modern car. The wavy lines look good but you’re never sure exactly how wide or long it is.

Nowadays I am older and a much more sedate driver (CStM will not mention TruckGate at this or any other point. It happened once and it was perfectly safe!).

I once drove a Ford Focus Estate for six months with nothing but the odometer functioning on the dashboard. I drove my Commer van in the same state for rather longer. Safety? Who needs it?

But to attempt to get back to the point, Foamy’s real argument goes beyond protecting stupid people. All this safety makes the rest of us complacent. Drivers who would have been careful drivers now think ‘well, I have seatbelts, air bags, side impact bars, I’m basically in a tank and I can take risks I wouldn’t normally even consider’.

It’s not just the idiots who crash any more.

It’s the same with tools. I have an electric sander (two, now, since I got a belt sander from my parents for my birthday) and they are festooned with things to stop me sanding my fingers off. I also have old style planes and saws that I am much more careful with because they have sharp edges and no safety features. I am much more likely to damage myself with the tools that have ‘safety’ features because the safety features should protect me – but they don’t always work.

Making safety a law was a bad idea. People expect to be safe all the time now. Even the ones who bang on about being ‘close to nature’. Nature is not safe. Nature is deadly. If you really want to be close to nature, try fending off an enraged badger naked and bare-handed. You have no chance. If you get stitched back together after that one, try a grizzly bear or a tiger – although if you are being all natural, no stitches.

Those are extremes. Total danger and total safety. Not so long ago, the human race had something in between. We called it common sense.

We didn’t go out in T-shirt and shorts when it was -10C and windchill took it down to -20C. We didn’t fight tigers naked. We didn’t drive with the belief the car was going to protect us with its safety features. We treated sharp tools – workshop and kitchen – with respect. We knew how to use weapons without bemusing the enemy by killing ourselves before they had a chance to.

For the upcoming generation, all that is gone.

Now, your personal safety is someone else’s problem and you can sue them for not doing it. Eventually, people will stop selling you anything you might hurt yourself with unless you sign a disclaimer first. Many of the new generation will refuse to sign so they’ll be carving the Sunday microwave roast with a spoon.

That assumes they still have roasts, what with acrylamide and the deadly bacteria imagined to be in everything. I think they can dish out boiled cockroach with a spoon safely.

There are books about the fall of ancient civilisations. They have a common theme. They died because they went soft. Scared of change, scared of anything that might hurt them, scared of death but waiting to die.

Even in fiction, it’s how great civilisations fall. Self hatred kills every one of them.

So did you think our Western civilisation would last forever? The Victorians thought the Empire was eternal and now we have British people wanting to apologise for it! I don’t hear those people demanding the Muslims apologise for the Ottoman empire nor for anyone else’s. That’s by the by, doesn’t matter. As the Brunnen G said, we deserve to die. They believe it as much as our Lefties, the difference is that our lefties don’t think it applies to therm.

This civilisation has run its course. Oh there will be another to follow, also believing itself eternal but it will die in time too. The Soviet Union, Rome, Etrusca, Greece, Egypt at the time of the Pharaohs, all were eternal and all are gone now. Time to move on.

I’m not scared by this. We will have a few fighters left, every time. There will always be those who rise against tyranny just as there will always be tyranny. They might lose but they will always try and there will always be more coming up the line.

Everyone is human. We are the same animal. We are a pack animal with a leader who is bigger and stronger than the rest. Somehow we got to the stage where the leader is more of a total twat than the rest but it won’t last. It never does.

The times, as Bob Dylan said. they are a-changing. For the better? Hahaha! As before they are changing to get to the same.

But there will always be that rebellious streak. Always.

If there is hope, it really does lie in the proles.

 

Goldstein

Goldstein was ‘the evil terrorist’ in George Orwell’s 1984.

He didn’t exist. Bombs went off, people were killed and maimed but the terrorist wasn’t real. It was all done by Government  agents.

Was it a warning, like the rest of the book? A tip-off to how it really works?

I mean, who gained from the recent attack towards Parliament over Westminster Bridge? It’s touted as an attack on Parliament but it clearly wasn’t. If it was intended to hit Parliament they’d have kept quiet until they got to the gates, not start the killing half a mile too early.

The attacker is conveniently dead, shot by a Government minder, so we can’t question him.

But who gains from this event? Islam? They just get shat on harder. They have gained no ground, no advantage, by an attack that kills innocent people and makes them look, once again, like evil dickheads. So who gains?

Who gets more power, more control, from these attacks? Islamists get bugger all from them. The government gets to clamp down harder and impose tighter controls and deeper surveillance and none of that stops future attacks,

I wonder if Muslims are being set up. If so, they’re falling for it, cheering on the attacks as if they actually did them, and getting further marginalised and more hated as the attacks continue. I have no sympathy. If you want to cheer the deaths of innocents then you deserve what’s coming.

You, Muslims, have been set up to be hated. And you have cheered on your own eventual destruction. If any country turns the entire Middle East into radioactive glass, who do you think will mourn you? We’ll have street parties, like you lot did after 9/11.

Oil? You think we need your oil? There is more under Alaska than there ever was under Saudi Arabia. The Americans haven’t touched their reserves there for a reason. They’re running yours out first.

And, yeah, it’s running out.

So is time.

Maybe you might want to think about not calling for so many beheadings. Or killing in general. Or suicide bombings. You are fast running out of options.

I have a feeling that Islam will be illegal within a decade and when it happens, you lot have nobody to blame but yourselves.

You just will not listen, will you?

We’re going to need a bigger van…

…for those trips to Europe.

Cigarettes are to rise in price again and there is now a system in place whereby no pack of cigarettes can cost less than £7.24. You can get a pack for less than half that in any other country in Europe.

Assuming we do eventually leave the EU, there will be a limit imposed on how many cigarettes we can bring back per person. There is no limit on how many you can bring back for your own use at the moment due to the EU’s free movement of goods rules but if you have loads, expect to have them stolen by border control anyway. So the imposition of a limit isn’t any reason to stay in the EU.

If the limit is, say, 300 (15 packs) then if you have a weekend in Europe you’ll save about £54 per person by stocking up while there.

The tobacco story is an old one. I can’t remember a time when it wasn’t cheaper everywhere outside the UK. Even as a child, if we went to France or Spain my dad would take the limit home and so would my mum (who never smoked). Lately my parents often went to Portugal and brought me home five 50g packs of rolling baccy. At the time it was a gift worth at least £75 at UK prices. They paid half that. Unfortunately they are getting too old for those trips.

Oh yes, my parents are still alive. My father, a lifelong smoker and my mother, a lifelong passive smoker, are both still alive. Neither have experienced cancer. It’s not just me who defies NHS statistics. It’s the whole family.

Alcohol is also a lot cheaper in most EU countries. I noticed, in Germany, that whiskies like Famous Grouse were the same price in little corner shops as they are in big supermarkets here. I also noticed that only the idiots in charge of the UK have fallen for hiding tobacco behind doors and putting them in plain packs. Nobody else has fallen for this one.

Nobody else will fall for the utterly cretinous notion of putting all booze, including fine malt whiskies, into plain packs and hiding them behind shutters. Oh it’s coming. Plain packs for ‘non-approved’ foods is already being talked about as the Next Logical Step in the bullying of the entire nation. These thugs are never satisfied. Never. When they have total control they will start telling you how many steps you have to take every day – oh wait, that one’s already out there.

Now we have a tax on sugar. Initially on sugary drinks but if you think it will end there you really haven’t been paying attention at all. Imagine a world where Coke and Pepsi are in the same olive drab packaging with photos of meth mouth and Cyril Smith on every bottle. The company name relegated to 10-point Times New Roman. It’s all behind doors and you have to ask for it. Imagine it well because if you are under 50 you’ll see it in your lifetime.

Fancy a burger? You’ll get it with MACDONALDS on the olive green box in 10-point Times New Roman with a picture of someone syringing lard through an artery on the top. Actually not hard to copy. I like liver and it often has a large artery or two going through it.

Fancy fish and chips? It’ll be a lot smaller and cost more, not least because the chip shop has to buy olive green wrapping paper with pictures of Bernard Manning nude and a warning that all fish are so full of mercury that they will roll off the table if left unattended.

Oh I know. You’re scoffing. You don’t believe it can happen.

Go back to 2004 and tell the pub customers that soon they will be banned from smoking in there. Tell them they will buy cigarettes in drab green packs from behind doors and they will pay £7.24 for the cheapest brand. Listen to them scoff at you.

You’re going to need a van for a lot more than tobacco on future visits abroad. If you fly it will very likely be well worth paying an excess baggage charge.

As for smugglers, they’re likely to steal Mr. MacDonald’s favourite line.

‘I’m lovin’ it’.

The Communist Tories

Many have said, for many years, that there is no longer any difference in Left or Right. No difference between Tory and Labour, no difference between Republican and Democrat, no difference in the type of dictatorships at all. They are now finally proved, without a shadow of doubt, entirely correct.

I admit to laughing, at first, at the Socialists in America insisting that their new ‘right-wing’ government is all pally with, of all places, Soviet Russia. Isn’t that what they’d want? A deeply socialist influence on the mop-haired madman they’ve just put in power? Well, apparently Russia is now ‘right wing’ which leads us to imagine that the future they want for America is far left of Russia.

That is scarier than any story I could ever write. Even Kim Jong Jingly-Jangly would balk at that idea.

Anyway, this one is about the UK. About the alleged Conservative government (we call them Tories, which is what the Irish used to call highway robbers and it seems they were somewhat prophetic).

Their new Chancer is about to kill new startup businesses even faster than the Brown Gorgon ever did.

The Brown Gorgon brought in the idea of ‘tax on account’ whereby you pay this year’s tax and next year’s tax too. It was phased in for businesses that already existed but start one now and you pay double tax in your first year. This is why I am not keen to make a profit in this first year. You have to build your business slowly. If you are an overnight success in your first year you are dead in the water in your second year.

The Tories have done nothing to change this. Not a goddamn thing. They won’t, they are Redder than their opponent’s rosettes these days. Corbyn is probably in awe of the shit they are coming up with.

Now they want to hit the self-employed (their natural voter base) with a massive hike in tax. Oh they call it ‘National Insurance’ and claim it’s not income tax but it all falls into the same black hole of profligate waste. It’s just extra income tax.

These are the champions of entrepreneurs? Really? Not only are they happy to continue taking double tax from every attempt at a new business and kill them after their first year, those that survive will have to survive on less. Which means most will end up on benefits. That is modern Conservatism. More benefit drones, no more new startup businesses. Suits their masters.

There has been much bleating from Lefties about ‘Tory cuts’. There have been no cuts. The NHS budget has never, ever gone down. Only up. The ‘Bonfire of the Quangos’ never happened. The ‘Great Repeal Bill’ never happened. ‘Austerity’ never happened. I no longer believe any of it ever will.

‘Brexit’ isn’t really going to happen either, is it? Does anyone out there believe a single word any current politician utters? If you do, I have bad news. 100 is not the top of the IQ scale. You are not near the top.

You can whine about Trump all you want but at least he is doing what he said he would do. No other politician can say that. Didn’t O’Blimey promise to close down the Guantanamo Bay prison on his first election? It’s still there.

If you are not voting for UKIP or Marine le Pen or any other so-called ‘far right’ candidate then you are voting to live in North Korea. Oh they are ‘far right’ for sure. The ones telling you that are so ‘far left’ even Chairman Mao would have widened his eyes. No mean feat…

When the current batch of lefties talk about ‘far right’, they mean ‘normal’. Middle of the road stuff, where the laws make sense and government isn’t trying to live in riches while everyone else scrabbles for the crumbs on their bird feeders. That is where ‘far right’ is now.

I am self-employed. I have no paid holidays. If I stop work for two weeks I stop earning for two weeks. I have no pension other than what I paid into while an employee. I cannot spare the money for a pension plan.

There is no ‘maternity leave’ nor ‘paternity leave’ in my work. Okay, I’m too old to be a father again but a 20-year-old setting up a business will find that part hurts.

I have just started up a business – Leg Iron Books – and if it made so much that I was in the 40% tax bracket in the first year, then at the end of the first year I would pay 80% tax on that year. Tories have done nothing – NOTHING AT ALL – to change that. Second year, I’d be bust and on benefits. How does that help the economy?

It doesn’t. Like vampires, they suck you dry and move on to the next mug who thinks he can challenge their big-business paymasters. Try to start a business under a Tory government and they will smack you down faster than the darkest of the Communist regimes. They are not Tories. Calling them ‘right wing’ means you must be so far to the ‘left’ that Stalin needs binoculars to see you.

If you plan to start a new business, for pity’s sake don’t do it in the UK. No matter what government we get here, they will do their damnedest to slap you down.

Finally, why is America so keen to slap down Trump?

He’s not a career politician. He hasn’t been indoctrinated in ‘the way to best control the tax cattle’. He’s making mistakes but the whole of the job is new to him. I think he might turn out to be the best thing to happen to America… if they let him.

That’s really why they don’t like him.

 

The Immigrant Song

Nigel ‘Smoky-drinky’ Farage has been talking to an American audience at one of Donny Trumpton’s gigs. He is of the opinion that there is going to be a global revolution and the nationalist parties will take France, Germany and Holland – and zen ze Vorld! Hahahaha!

Well, not North Korea obviously. Nor China, nor Russia. Unlikely that anything in the rest of the world will ever affect Turkmenistan. Most of Africa won’t care. So maybe not all the world. Perhaps about a third of it.

I don’t know if ‘revolution’ is a good term here. It usually means the overthrow of a dictatorship but you can’t usually do that just by voting for it. They have elections in North Korea, you know. One candidate on the ballot form and voting is compulsory and not secret. It’s an utterly pointless exercise, it’s just there so Kim Jong Jingly Jangly can claim he was democratically elected.

If someone were to write ‘Nobby the Goblin’ under Kim Jong’s name and then draw a box with a cross in it, it’s not a spoiled ballot paper. It’s a warrant for that voter’s arrest. That’s a country that will only ever change with a real revolution or a spontaneous outbreak of sanity in the ruling family. The smart money is still on revolution as the only real option – hard to do in a country where everyone is under surveillance all the time.

What’s really happening is that the control freakery has got so bad, the life control so insistent and intense, that enough people want it gone. When that happens they vote for something else in the hope it will be less controlling.

There has been a nationalist/socialist party in Germany before. That didn’t go too well. I don’t know much about Holland’s past but I think France has been staunchly socialist since their Revolution. Well, people really couldn’t vote right-wing for a long time anyway because the revolutionaries cut the heads off all the potential candidates. A drastic, though admittedly effective, measure.

The Lefties would dearly love to do that again. They are always proclaiming and often actually perpetrating violence against those who don’t want to live under their control, while claiming victimhood. They’re not the only ones…

There is an immigrant issue and it’s largely Muslim. There, I said it. Now both the Muslims and the Lefties can start carving a wall plaque to hang my head on, in the name of peaceful coexistence.

I am not one of those who declares all Muslims are deranged Jihadis. This is clearly not the case. I have frequented many a Muslim-run shop or restaurant and found a polite and generous reception every time. Muslims have nutters in their ranks. So does every religious group out there. Christians are not so bad these days but there are parts of Christian history that are quietly pushed aside.

Even Hindus can turn nasty. Hindus! They won’t step on an ant or kill a cow but hoo boy, if you’re the wrong religion in some Hindu countries you have little chance of getting out of there alive.

What do we do about countries that radically disagree with our way of life? Simple. We don’t go there. It’s the cheap and easy way to solve the problem.

Currently though, Hindus, Sikhs and pretty much every other religious or ethnic group who settle in the UK don’t threaten to kill us all and impose their religious laws on us all. Sikhs are a warrior race but they don’t run screaming through the streets brandishing swords and cutting the heads off passers-by. The only time I remember Sikhs protesting was when there was a play running in London (I think) that directly insulted their religion. They reacted to provocation (who doesn’t?) but even then, all they wanted was the play shut down. They didn’t want to burn down every hairdresser’s shop in the country.

See, if you piss off Hindus in their own country then they might kill you. Their country, their laws. In the UK, they recognise that UK laws apply – so if you provoke a Hindu in the UK they will use UK law to make you stop. That’s perfectly fair and reasonable. Other immigrant groups do the same. They want to be here because they like it here and while they retain their own culture and beliefs, they fit in with the UK way of life.

Actually I have wondered sometimes. There was a Nigerian family that moved all the way up here to the North of Scotland and I never got around to asking how they coped with our winters. Nigeria doesn’t really have much in the way of winter. They’ve been here over a decade though so they’ve obviously adapted. I’ve moved out into the wilds now so I never see them any more.

The same is true of most of the Muslims here. They have adapted to UK life and while it gets damn cold here compared to most of their countries of origin, they know we won’t cut off their hands for stealing or stone them for adultery or behead them on a whim. Further, we will let them have mosques and won’t force them to change their religion. They can keep their own values and beliefs but becoming a UK citizen means accepting UK laws.

Some didn’t come here to escape the madness of their own countries. Some came here to make the madness global. You have to recognise the problem before you can do anything about it and the Lefties will not recognise it. They defend the loonies in Islam even though those loonies will kill them as soon as they win.

People say ‘But if there are moderate Muslims, why don’t they speak out?’

Imagine a world in which the Westboro Baptist Church was defended by the Lefties no matter what they did. Even the gay Lefties defended it in the same way they now defend Islamic loonies. So that little band of loonies gained power and deranged converts. Any other Christian speaking out against it would be shouted down and probably targeted for hate and a beating – both by Westboro and their Leftie defenders.

If you were a Christian in that world, would you speak out? You can say yes now because it’s a theoretical scenario that won’t happen but consider… the Lefties also run the child monitoring agencies. Your children could be taken away because you are a racist Westborophobic right wing bigot. And that would be just the start.

The Westboros would declare you a heretic and apostate and you would be ostracised and possibly killed. Your family too. Still think you’d speak out?

Not so sure? Now imagine you’re a Muslim family quietly and happily running a corner shop or a restaurant or maybe another business. Would you risk losing it all – and it means all. Absolutely all – by speaking out?

Yes, there are moderate Muslims. There were moderate Catholics during the time of the Inquisition and I fully believe there are many Hindus in Hindu countries who are appalled and disgusted at what their government does to those of other religions. Who will speak out when speaking out can get you and your family killed?

Who, in North Korea, would dare utter ‘Kim Jong ate all the pies, the fat bastard’? His brother did. From outside the country. He’s dead now.

If you want a UK Muslim to stand up and say ‘Saudi Arabia is run by maniacs who just like killing people for fun’ you have to promise that Muslim a change of name, location, face, and a 24-hour armed guard for the entire family forever. At least some of them think it, I can assure you, but saying it, well, they’d rather play handball with nitroglycerin. It’s less risky.

Look at what the Lefties do when a non-Muslim says ‘there are Muslim terrorists’. They’d do the same to a Muslim who said it. They’d marginalise them to the point where they would have no defence when the Islamists came for them. And they know it. So they keep quiet. Wouldn’t you? When you know you will be decrying murderous loonies and nobody will dare stand in your defence?

It’s not immigration that’s the problem. There’s always been immigration, everywhere. My mother’s family came from northern Italy. Might explain my predilection for leaving horse heads in enemies’ beds and my looking forward to the day someone comes to ask a favour on the day of my daughter’s wedding but even so, the family has integrated. I consider myself Welsh because that’s where I was born and I can now almost hold a conversation in Doric because that’s where I’ve lived for a few decades.

The Lefties aren’t reading this far. They hit outrage mode less than halfway down the post. Nothing after that will reach them. Don’t worry about them, they are off decrying me ‘racist’ even now.

I was in southern Ireland, in Dublin, in 1989. You could not get anyone to talk about the IRA much but they didn’t have universal support. It seemed most people didn’t really give a shit about Northern Ireland, they had their own lives to deal with. Really, I got the impression that only those who were obsessed with the island being one country were IRA supporters and most of them joined it. Just like Islamic Jihad.

The trouble was, speaking out against them could get you killed. Same thing. Who believes all the Irish were terrorists? The airport police did. An Irish co-worker – another PhD – was detained at the airport because of his name and accent.  So in the current wave of terrorism, if you give your name as Muhammad Ali, you are going to be treated as a potential terrorist using a fake name, even if it is your real name. It’s not at all surprising, is it?

Trump has the right idea but he’s cutting with a blunt knife. It’s not immigration he should target. It’s fanaticism. So should everybody else.

And not just Islamic fanaticism. All of it.

Especially the Leftie idiot enablers.

Oh, almost forgot :

Bringing down Goliath

No, you don’t just need a slingshot and the power of God behind you. Although the slingshot can be a good starting point.

I recently made the old game ‘Doom’ work on an old Windows XP computer. Not the earliest DOS ones, this was ‘Ultimate Doom’, a later but still mainly DOS version with ‘slightly’ better graphics. Okay, not up to the absolute latest versions but the old graphics card in that machine will never run those.

I find that game relaxing. Nobody is on your side. If it moves it wants to kill you and some things that don’t move will try to kill you too. It’s simple. Shoot everything and don’t die.

It’s even more relaxing if you know how to apply the invulnerability cheat 😉

The game has a lot of different kinds of monsters and if you’re faced with a room full of different kinds, there’s no need to shoot. Just run through them (don’t get stuck) and out of another door. They will fire directly at you – even if another monster is in the way. The hit monsters will retaliate against the one who shot him.

Basically, you start a bar brawl then dodge out of the way until there are just a few left standing. Those left standing are already damaged and easy to pick off.

So yes, all you need is a slingshot. If none of the monsters notice you, hit one with a rock and it’ll start firing. That will set off an escalation of violence and you’re safely out of the way while it happens.

In real life, it’s safer to find a useful idiot to start the fighting but the principle holds true.

It’s the step between ‘divide’ and ‘conquer’. If you divide an army into smaller groups, you still have to fight all the groups one by one. Isn’t it so much easier to divide a nation into segments and get those segments to wipe each other out?

The last one standing will be so damaged you can take them out with a few stern words. Even better, as William of Orange found when James II made a royal fuck-up of running England, they might even ask you to intervene.

Is it hard to cause division followed by strife? Ha! It’s a doddle. We all know long-time friends who no longer speak to each other over some trivial argument. We all know someone who likes to spread rumours and then sit back and watch people fight about the tales they’ve told.

Scaling that up is much easier than you’d think. The current political system in almost every country makes this child’s play.  Whatever one side wants, the other opposes it. Even if they secretly agree with it. The division is there, you just have to tip it into violence. The left like to use violence so they’re always the side to choose to provoke. The Right are too cynical. The Left believe pretty much anything.

So what you need is the left to have the upper hand for a while and then make them feel like they’re losing everything.

It needed Tiny Blur. Charismatic and not too far left so the more stable will vote for him. Enough teeth to make a dentist’s eyes fill with money signs and yet not too large as to scare a voter.  Replace Iron Knickers with Monochrome Man and anyone is more interesting. Steve Davis could have won that one.

The manipulations behind the scenes aren’t really hard to see. They think we’re all stupid so they don’t hide all that well.

You see, if we had let the UK continue under Thatcherite policies there would have been grumblings and mumblings and occasional riots but no uprising. No war. The Left had no power so weren’t losing anything. The right without power won’t rise up. They have jobs and real lives and everything and don’t all work for government so they pay taxes, not sponge off them. You need to get the Left to lose and lose big so they turn violent.

What do you give someone with nothing to lose? Something to lose.

Then make sure they lose it. Fast and unexpectedly.

Brexit – the country voted, the losing side turned nasty. America – the country voted, the losing side turned very nasty. It gets nastier every time.

And sillier. Superbowl – the Patriots won, the other side’s fans actually took to the streets to protest! Seriously? Protesting the result of a fucking football game? Oh, how easy is it going to get?

What’s next? Riots because the wrong player won Wimbledon or News at Ten started five minutes late? Well… More likely riots if Jeremy Kyle retired or the wrong character gets the pub in EastEnders.

Oh it gets better. Tessie May rushed to be first to visit Donnie Darko (wait, no, Donnie Trumpton) on becoming King of the Seven Planets (no, wait, Emperor of the American Empire) then Gimli the Speaker of the House of Morons says Donnie can’t visit Moria (no, wait,  Parliament).

‘He’ll taste the edge of my axe if he shows up here’ is one made-up quote attributed to Gimli. As is ‘No, no, not the beard!’ and ‘Tallness is an abomination and should be illegal’.

So we have the Prime Monster sensibly keeping well in with the country with the biggest army and nuclear arsenal and the idiot Speaker trying to wreck relations with the country that might be our biggest trading partner once we are free of the EU.

Didn’t Tiny Blur rush to be first to congratulate Barry O’Blimey on becoming Dark Lord of the Yankee Horde? How is that so different? Oh, I see, Barry was a Leftie king. Donnie is a Rightie king. We live in a world where left is right and right is wrong. It all makes sense now.

It’s as bad as the confusion I experienced when moving between Wales and Scotland during my PhD. It was the beer that confused me.

In Cardiff there is Brains’ Beers. It was originally Brian’s Beers but the signwriter had enjoyed some free samples and well, they’d paid for the sign so they let it go.

Anyway. There were several beers in their range at the time. I preferred SA, we never knew what it really stood for but we called it Skull Attack for reasons you can probably guess.

There was Light, which was a pale bitter beer of low strength so you could have one or two at lunchtime and still function, and there was Dark, a dark coloured beer of a similar colour to Guinness but nowhere near as solid in your stomach.

In Scotland, McEwan’s also had dark beer and light beer but their classification was based on the specific gravity of the beer, not the colour. So the dark coloured beer was ‘Light’ and the amber coloured one was ‘Heavy’.

Dark is light and light is heavy. Try working that one out after you’ve clocked up a few hours in the pub.

It’s no real surprise then to find that now, left is right and right is wrong. The world has been screwed up for a long time.

Back to the game. Not the computer game, the real one. What’s our diminutive David doing to poor Goliath at the moment?

Well. The recent Paris attack was reported by the BBC and the report said, not once but several times, the machete man shouted “All of you, at the bar!” and took pains to point out this means God is Grapes in Arabic. They used to take the same amount of effort to avoid saying that.

The UN let a spokesman admit, very clearly, that the whole Global Warming scam was intended to change the world economic system, destroy capitalism and ultimately massively reduce the world’s population. Admit it why? Now? When everyone is already angry?

France is likely to have to choose between a far left and a far Right candidate for president. The Left one wants to let even more car-burning and shopper-shooting immigrants into France, the Right one wants to stop that. Put aside your indoctrination for a moment and imagine it’s you parking a car in France and going to the shops. Who would you pick?

Russia and America. The countries that could be sniffing each others’ arses like dogs while China wipes us all out (reminds me of the Brian Aldiss tale ‘All The World’s Tears’) and tow big bosses at the end of the video game.

In one of the ‘Doom’ variants you come up against a cyberdemon and a queen spider. It’s easy. Both are really hard to kill so run between them and then hide. They both start firing and they’ll hit each other.

Wait for one of the superpowers to wipe out the other and the last one left is weakened to the point where it’s easy.

The people are getting angry and the coals are being added to the fire daily. This boiler is under pressure. There’s no release valve. There can be only one outcome and it’s the one that was always intended.

So where are we? Russia. America. Love/hate/no-trust. What’s left of the rapidly collapsing EU. A pressure for a communist style future. Population control. Suppression of all those annoying riots and terrorists.

Where is the saviour? Who will fight off the now-revealed enemies? Revealed all at once as a shock tactic to get a reaction. Who will save us from our own terrible excesses? Who has been big and quiet through it all?

Where is the modern William of Orange?

China.

Mae win ti

 

 

But… they aren’t doing it. They are puppets too.

How to kill an army

There have, lately, been many retrospective prosecutions of military personnel for shooting at the enemy while on active service. Apparently, killing enemy combatants is now seen as bad form by the Government and the justice system.

What are the soldiers supposed to do? Wave a stick at them and shout? Careful with what you shout, you can be done for abusive behaviour for shouting at people now. Even if those people are trying to kill you.

I will not be at all surprised if, in the future, there are retrospective prosecutions of soldiers for shouting at the enemy, thereby causing them undue stress and alarm. There will be ISIS fighters on the front page of the Daily Mail with the requisite sad face, tear tracks in the dust on their faces and a headline saying ‘British soldiers called me a sand monkey’.

Two big stories at the moment are the prosecution of ‘Marine A’ for shooting a Taliban soldier who was already wounded, and of two retired soldiers accused of the murder of an IRA man in 1972.

Seriously. This is happening in the UK right now.

The Irish war is gently referred to as ‘the troubles’. It was a goddamn war! People were shooting each other and civilians were getting blown up by bombs. That, to me, suggests more than ‘troubles’.

These prosecutions are going to kill a hell of a lot of British soldiers in the future. The cynic in me suspects that that is what they are intended to achieve.

Put yourself in the soldiers’ shoes. You’re in uniform on the streets of Belfast and you spot a high ranking member of the IRA. You know the IRA set off bombs, you know they kneecap and kill people for any perceived transgression, you know they will kill you, a soldier, if they get the chance. What would you do? Would you shoot or hesitate?

Imagine facing a wounded Taliban. You know a wounded man can still lift a pistol or pull the pin from a grenade or set off a Semtex waistcoat. You know the Taliban are quite ready to die if they can take you with them. What would you do? Shoot or hesitate?

Now re-imagine the scenario as a soldier who knows that if you shoot, the justice system can come after you any time in the future. Even after you retired. If you shoot this enemy combatant, you could face murder charges 35 years in the future.

Now what? Shoot or hesitate?

That knowledge will push you towards ‘hesitate’.

And that will change your future. Instead of the police knocking your door in retirement to serve a warrant for charges, you’ll be going home the following day in a body bag. That moment of hesitation is all the enemy needs, because the enemy has no such threat of future prosecution hanging over them.

That’s how you wipe out an entire army with consummate ease.

All you have to do is put a tiny seed of doubt in their minds. One tiny hint that their job, if done correctly, will land them in jail one day. Put that hint into every soldier’s head with a few well publicised prosecutions and that entire army is doomed. Just make their finger pause on the trigger for a second.

Plenty of time to set off that suicide vest or pull the pin on that grenade…