Rail Zombie, and other tales.


All rail zombies wear anoraks and have a notebook full of engine numbers. Somewhere I have a book of coach numbers. My ambition was, and remains, to get a book of coal truck numbers and go rust spotting.

I’m working on my tax form. If it’s not done this weekend I have to pay tax on account by the 30th (that’s advance tax based on the previous year’s income). If it is done in time, I get tax repaid because I was way under the tax limit last year. Oh I’d eventually get it all back even if I did end up paying but why loan them anything? They’ll just waste it.

Working on taxes means the procrastination dial is turned up to 11. I will do absolutely anything other than work on tax. I have a Dutch version of ‘The Goddess of Protruding Ears’ by Justin Sanebridge in the works. The English version is already published. I have a G scale railway stacked in the office (traaaaains) and I need to arrange the garden to fit the railway. Fortunately the shit weather is keeping me indoors so I’m restricted to indoor procrastination. There’s still plenty of that.

I’ve been watching the Donnie Trumpton chess game. Not really a fair game because his opponents don’t know it’s a chess game. They think he is stupid (well they think we are all stupid) even though he was born to an immigrant who worked as a maid and became a billionaire and then President. He survived a few doses of bankruptcy and came back. Stupid? Really?

He’s an arrogant arse. You could argue that a man who came from nothing to billions more than once is entitled to be a bit smug but in Balmedie, not too far from here, his golf course for the rich and insufferable has really pissed off the residents. He’s not popular in this part of Scotland.

Still, he plays a good game. He anticipates his (entirely predictable really) opponents and if this was a real chess game he’s ten moves ahead. The latest move, the Melania coat, was a beauty. A woman who can afford, and who is used to, high fashion, wears a grungy Parka with graffiti and nobody sees the clear chess move that entails. They fell for it, hook line and sinker. They fired up exactly as they were intended to.

I didn’t know that the separation of families at the border started with Clinton and continued unopposed through Bush and Obama. I didn’t know it was happening at all. Now I do. And now I, and all those Americans who aren’t frothing at the mouth, know it has been happening for a very long time and they know that Trumpy stopped it. He could have quietly stopped it. Instead he let it fester and rage and make headlines for the first time in about 20 years and then he stopped it.

He’s good. I don’t like him, but I have to admit he is good at this game.

Mrs Clinton, Mrs Bush and Mrs Obama never visited those separated kids. They weren’t supposed to be noticed. Oh but Mrs Trump went to visit. Dressed in homeless chic, off she went. There was Outrage!

I laughed like a hyena on acid when I saw that coat. You could not make a more obvious move unless you tried for a fool’s mate on Kasparov. Melania Trump dressed like a 60’s mod? Come on, if they had put her on a moped with fifty rear view mirrors it could not have been more obvious.

The left responded with all they have. Stormy Daniels. They sent a porn star to visit the children. A porn star.  Yeah, because all those kids have watched her on Kid TV and all aspire to be like her. Jesus, you could not put up a worse opponent to Melania Trump in a flasher coat.

I reckon I’m pretty good at anticipating an enemy move. I one brought a co-worker close to tears of laughter in a meeting when I brought out the answer to every criticism ‘someone’ tried to tag me with. I saw it all coming.

I wouldn’t take on Trump though. And I would never play chess with him for money. I might not like the guy personally but I have to admire his game. He’s very good at it.

But back to serious stuff. Traaains!

I have been populating the coaches for this new set. G scale is 1:22.5 but I can get away with 1:24 and 1:25 too. The difference is minimal. And the size of this stuff means you can have people in seats without cutting feet off.

Here is the coach. The ruler beside it is 2 feet (60 cm) for scale. I have four. Coaches,not rulers!

The people are in various levels of moulding detail. It doesn’t matter too much, they will be inside a coach and not very visible so I won’t go overboard on the details. Pretty rough is good enough in this case.

First example – Train Perv 1

Bit low on detail. Compare with Train Perv 2 –

Just as vile but with better definition.

Again, Man with a Can, crap moulding…

…as opposed to Creepy OIdman

Then again, we do have Random Tart 1…

And Random Tart 2…

… to keep the train pervs pervy.

You might have noticed Random Tart 3 progressing on Twitter. I have something special in mind for that one and for Random Tart 4. Later…

In other news, we have Guardian of the Bags –

The Pizza Addict

Mum Does Not Approve-

The Fat Skinhead

And of course, Nigel Farage –

There are others but that will do for now. There’s a really filthy Batman diorama in progress too.

If I could only force myself to finish this tax form.


Wales, the next target of the New Puritans

The Welsh Assemblage of Useless Authoritarian Wasters has introduced minimum pricing for alcohol. What a total and utter waste of time, as much of a waste of time as the Assemblage itself.

You know, when the Blair Witch decided to go ahead with devolution, Scotland’s vote was pretty decisive. They wanted their own parliament who are now hitting them hard for smoking and drinking and eating – and taxing them more to pay for more control over them. Still, that’s what they wanted. They voted for it.

The vote in Wales returned a resounding ‘don’t care’ because that is the Welsh way. The Welsh have never cared who is in charge, for the most part, because they aren’t going to pay any attention to who is in charge anyway. Plaid Cymru do well not because of their policies but because they have a Welsh party name. They can get into positions of power but have never grasped that the bulk of Wales doesn’t give a shit.

There is a place called Treherbert. I went there once. I spent most of my early life living mere miles from it and went there only once. It was enough  A tiny place at the end of the railway line, it is nestled in a deep valley between high mountains and sees very little of that strange yellow circle in the sky, even in summer. If you are ever looking for the legendary Caer Colur (the gloomy enclosure) I’d recommend starting there.

Some years ago there was a news story about Treherbert. The name got my attention at once. Something newsworthy happened in Treherbert? What could it be? Dalek invasion? Secret lair of Blofeld? Someone dropped a spoon?

A guy in a council house was making his own vodka when his still exploded in a most spectacular fashion. Apparently – and this came as a surprise – he wasn’t breaking any laws because it was all for his own use. He did not intend to sell any.

Hmm. I live on a farm that grows barley specifically intended for the whisky industry. I could probably buy a tonne at cost price. But let’s not get distracted by my hobbies.

The point is, even years ago there were home stills when cheap supermarket booze was available. In the 1979-1982 years of my first degree there were dedicated homebrew shops everywhere. They started reappearing in Scotland (not dedicated shops but homebrew sections in other small shops) even before the minimum pricing nonsense started here.

In my early teens you could buy homebrew kits in supermarkets and since they had no alcohol in them as sold, they were not subject to age restrictions. It was just syrupy malt and a packet of yeast. I see those making a big comeback soon.

I have a friend in Wales who will care nothing for this minimum pricing nonsense. He has a large garden full of fruit trees and they all get turned into wine. His blackcurrant wine is particularly good. So he doesn’t actually buy much commercial booze.

Look at other countries. Iran has a total booze ban for religious reasons. You are not even allowed an alcohol based mouthwash. So what happens? Stories of weddings ruined because of dodgy black market booze poisoning everyone.

Norway has horrific alcohol pricing and you can only get a limited amount from State booze stores. The result? Alcohol purchases in Norway have plummeted. Success? Sales of raw sugar have soared. What do you imagine is happening there?

Alcohol is really easy to make. Making it safe to drink is not quite so easy. Promoting an unregulated black market is never a good idea. But then, when was the last time any politician had a good idea?

Scotland’s minimum pricing might have worked maybe 20 years ago. It’s a long way from Aberdeen to the border and I’m north of Aberdeen. Driving down for a case of whisky is not cost-effective and would be a tough one to do in one day. Scotland is narrow but pretty damn long. But hey, we have internet now so I can order booze from English suppliers and it’s not subject to minimum pricing.

Today I was at the dentist for my half-year teeth count. Nothing wrong with me, she even took X-rays in a desperate attempt to find something wrong with this smoky-drinking curmudgeon. Little side observation – are all dentists small women now? I’m not objecting, I don’t mind at all, it’s just that there seem to be no male members of staff at all in that place.

Afterwards I passed the whisky shop, so I called in and treated myself to a bottle of Shackleton. I hadn’t seen it before. A malt blend based on the whisky taken on the 1907 Antarctic expedition. The whisky shop is never cheap, the more common ones are much cheaper in the supermarket but this place is where you find the unusual ones. It’s a great shop. When I win the lottery I’m going to try the high shelves with the ‘Oh fucking hell’ prices.

Wales is, frankly, tiny. It’s also vertically narrow with the English border on the east side so none of it is very far from a day-trip over the border. Get a few friends together, hire a minibus and stock up. Easy. It’s going to happen. So who will this new law damage? Well, corner shops mostly, small businesses, a small effect on the likes of Aldi and Lidl but alkies? Nah. It will be of great benefit to the English economy to the detriment of both Wales and Scotland. You know, guys, you voted in some utter fuckheads to run your devolved administrations – but then, who but an utter fuckhead wants a job that’s all about controlling their own countrymen and making their lives harder and more miserable?

What will also happen is homebrew and also criminal gangs filling the gap for those who can’t afford van hire or homebrew equipment. All of it totally unregulated and all of it free of any care about age limits. What a great idea, eh? No wonder government buildings have so many big windows.They need room for everyone to get a lick.

You know, more and more often these days, I’m thinking November 5th should be a day of national rejoicing in the UK. We should not be burning Guy Fawkes in effigy. We should be hailing him. He had the right idea.

At least he tried.


The Tommy Robinson Show

Tommy Robinson has a past as a bit of a thug. Football fighting, assault, that mix up with the mortgage which ended up with a conviction for fraud. Not the ideal CV for the saviour of the West, really.

Still, those are all spent convictions and in the UK at least, if you’ve done the time and paid the fine, that should be that. Unless it’s a real biggie, like rape or murder, it shouldn’t be held against you for ever. People do grow up, young thugs do become responsible adults sometimes. It happens. Quite often, in fact. I know quite a few of them.

I watched a YouTube video of Tommy Robinson talking with Imam Tahwidi (The Imam of Peace on Twitter and elsewhere). Imam Tahwidi is a devout Muslim and declares the Quran can never be reformed or changed. Yet, he does not feel the same way about the Hadiths, scripture written after Mohammed’s death. Those are not immutable because they do not come directly from the Prophet. Those hadiths are where most of the violence and intolerance comes from.

Tommy disagreed totally in the interview but was respectful and polite throughout. There was no shouting, no threats, from either of them. In fact, Tommy (and indeed I) learned a lot from Imam Tahwidi in that interview.

Whatever you think of Tommy Robinson, he is not the thug he once was. He might not be awfully bright but he means well. His fight against Muslim child rape gangs – well, if you want to silence dissent against child rape gangs I am going to open the Lefty play book and use the ‘if you don’t condemn it, you are clearly part of it’ gambit. That play book works both ways.

He is currently in jail for breaking the terms of a suspended sentence. The police who arrested him told him he wasn’t in breach (it’s on video) and arrested him for ‘breach of the peace’ which is a wonderful catch-all term for arrest that can mean anything at all. His lawyer was told he would be released. So the lawyer did not attend the trial he did not know was happening and Tommy was summarily sent to jail the same day he was arrested.

All over Twitter I see ‘Well he broke the law, what do you expect?’

He did, yes. He filmed convicted child rapists on their way into court for sentencing. The trial was over. The argument was that this action could prejudice more trials of this kind that are ongoing.

Maybe it could. I’m not a lawyer. I have been inside a courtroom precisely once in my life, called for jury service but not selected. So maybe an hour in a courtroom out of 58 years of life. I can’t pretend to know a damn thing about how it works. It just looked like a load of pompous self-importance to me.

I do know that having jury service hanging over you can totally fuck up self-employment. The bastards just don’t care though.

I do not see a single tweet suggesting that maybe the law isn’t quite what it should be.

Tommy had a suspended sentence of 3 months. He was summarily (within hours of arrest, remember, and with his lawyer told they had no need to attend because he would be released) sentenced to 13 months. Is that a fair way to treat anyone? Would you like it applied to you? You can be arrested for a hurty tweet or a sick joke now. How would you like to just disappear? Ask yourself, do you really want the law to work like that?

Oh it’s okay when it applies to someone you don’t like, isn’t it? But when it’s your dad or mum, when it’s your sister or brother, son or daughter, when it’s you… too late to object. The law is the law, remember, and when it comes for you… oh, please, no tears. It’s a waste of suffering.

Whatever you think of Tommy Robinson, whatever I think, doesn’t matter. Thousands and thousands of people turn out at demos to support him and those are just the ones who aren’t thinking quietly to themselves ‘he has a point’. We are talking a huge following here.

Call them all far right if you want, but they aren’t. They are ordinary people looking for a focus and identity their government denies them.  The real far right are coming and when you shout ‘They are far right!’ the ordinary people will respond with ‘Well that’s what you call us anyway’. This is how despots get to power.

Tommy Robinson might well get killed by radical Muslims in prison. He won’t be the first.

Thirteen months. It could very well happen.

And if it does, the mob has a martyr.

This cannot end well.

Writing and the Death of Speech

Author payments are done for this quarter. I wanted them dealt with quickly because the Phone People are going to replace the bent pole tomorrow. Since they do this for a living they will probably be very quick but if there are problems it might run to days.

If you have not heard from me, you didn’t sell any this quarter. Sorry. I will put out zero-reports when the phone line is fixed but when it is, if you have neither had a payment nor a zero-report, please do get in touch.

I have changed the payment rules. It’s no longer 50/50 on profits. The author gets 75%, I get 25%. Two reasons – it encourages authors to write more and it encourages me to up my game on marketing. So far I have not been great at it. I must force myself to improve.

It’s going to get more difficult. The EU is about to fulfil Tess ‘Jackboots’ May’s wettest of wet dreams and utterly destroy the internet within the EU. Oh Remainers will be happy because they think it won’t affect them but as Frank Davis says:

The EU is going to “tax internet links to websites and online data that serve as sources for commentary and opinion.”

Commentary and opinion covers every blog. It covers every Amazon link to any book on anything. How do you advertise your book when anyone who links to it has to pay a tax? Nobody is going to do it.

If (when) the cretins in charge make this happen, I will have to pay a tax for that link to Frank’s blog. If the EU put something on their website and I link to it, I’ll get taxed. They can put up ‘Plan for the extermination of white people’ on the EU site and if you link to it, you have to pay a tax.

Can’t afford it? Then you can’t talk about it. It will apply to absolutely everything that can be classed as ‘commentary’ or ‘opinion’. Free speech for the rich… but who is listening? When you can’t discuss it, why bother reading it at all?

Might as well delete your YouTube, Farcebok and Twatter accounts. They are going to cost you a fortune. No point reading any online newspaper at all because you cannot link to any story on any of them without paying a tax. The elite can do as they damn well please and we proles are forbidden to mention it unless we can afford it because that is New Liberalism.

It does not apply outside the EU of course. If we were outside the EU, as we should have been by now, we could laugh at this totalitarian nonsense. However, we have an idiot running the country, a bad-hair totalitarian who once pushed for a DNA database of everyone and drooled over the prospect of internet control. Well here it is. Who thinks our Prime Monster will object, in any way at all, to this? She has dreamed of this day her entire career.

I remember when we had a Conservative party as a counterpoint to the closet communists of Labour. Now we choose – Fascism or Nazism. There is no Conservative party any more and there never will be again. There is no ‘working class’ Labour party any more and there never will be again. Choose your vote carefully. Totalitarian #1 orTotalitarian #2. There is no option #3.

Actually there is, but not enough people will take it. They will vote like automatons for the same shit they have always voted for and then moan that things are getting worse. Newsflash, fuckwits. It’s getting worse because you voted for it to get worse. Put your X in a different box and see if it makes things better. Seriously, ask yourself, can it really get any worse?

Yes. Yes it can. China is in awe of the controls those you vote for are about to push on you and this is just the start. You want more total control of your life? Vote for it as you have always done. Vote for slavery for your children and grandchildren because that’s what your parents voted for so it must be right.

Or you could, just maybe, make a change. Make a difference. Vote for someone who is not in power now. Vote for someone new. Actually look at the manifestos rather than just the colour of the rosette and keep in mind that those you voted into power have never, ever done what they promised to do. If your favourites are useless, as they have all proven to be, what’s the harm in giving someone else a chance?

This kind of subversive idea is exactly what the EU want to suppress with their kindergarten view of how the Internet works. Oh they will do it and you won’t be allowed to even see these ideas any more. I, and many others, will be wiped off-visible-line by taxation and prosecution.

Oh yes, a big test case and harsh penalties will soon shut up every blog on the net. At least in the EU.

We’ll still be talking. You just won’t hear us any more.

And speaking for myself, I don’t care. I am sick of trying to save lost causes. Vote your persecutors back in if you want that. But there is one thing you must know.

Nobody is coming to save you. You vote for it, you live with it.

Crouching Tiger, Militant Caterer

(The phone post is still bent over but the engineers have rewired it. I have internet again. At some point they will disconnect it to fix it properly but I have downloaded the last three months’ sales in case I can’t get to tomorrow night’s final numbers for this quarter. It’s not likely there will be a last minute rush but I always live in hope…)


The Mockney slimeball is still at it. Having proved he can’t run a restaurant business he is now trying to ruin everyone else’s business so he won’t feel so bad.

His latest wheeze is to attack things that have existed before his mother plopped him into the world like a pink squalling turd with a thick tongue poking out of a face that should have been roundly slapped from the beginning. And should still be getting a daily slap to this very day.

Seriously though, what in God’s name is our government thinking? They are not only taking policy advice from the caterers, they are bragging about doing so and then actually acting on it as if Jimmy the Oil and his sidekick Huge Feathery-Wailingwall were more than just jumped-up kitchen staff.

The people we elected to run the UK are genuinely taking advice on packaging that’s been around for decades, and on the ‘future of the NHS’, from the kitchen staff. A chef who, incidentally, is presiding over the collapse of a business that is based on cooking. His area of expertise. He can’t get that right and yet our utterly cretinous ‘leaders’ laud him as an expert on the NHS and on the marketing employed by actually successful businesses who have been around longer than he has.

Personally, there is something I find more depressing, more humiliating for this country than having the caterers decide how to run it. And that is that the people we elected to do the running of the country are so bereft of any form of rational thought that they jump on any idea being promoted by any available idiot just so they can (they think) look good.

Newsflash, Gubblement Monsters: You do not look good. You look like a bunch of children being mesmerised by the Magic Roundabout and actually believing cows and dogs can talk, that living with a lorry suspension spring up your arse is a viable option and that rabbits spend their days spaced out on dope. You halfwits will believe any old shit, won’t you? Why are there never any candidates with actual sense available?

Next up, if it hasn’t already happened, the Rice Crispies elves are an insult to short people and the Coco Pops characters are racist. Well, even cycling is racist now so there is no limit.

Breakfast cereals are being marketed to kids. THEY ARE FOR FUCKING KIDS! That has always been their target market. It’s their reason to exist. Okay, adults like them too but then adults like chocolate and toffee and custard and pretty much all the things they grew up with.

What is the Jamie Oliver generation going to grow up on? Tofu and water and hardtack with a side order of smug catering staff presided over by a ruling class with minds so pure they are totally untouched by the ravages of intelligence.

Today’s children are going to have a really shit childhood thanks to the likes of Oliver “Please sir, can I have some more bans” and Huge Farty-Shittingstall and the upcoming wave of Militant Caterers. All enabled by a government that is far, far worse than useless and shows no sign of getting any better.

This is not going to save your restaurants, you idiots. According to the rules you are demanding, nobody will be allowed to eat in any of them.

Won’t affect me, really. I have never visited a ‘celebrity’ kitchen staff restaurant and never will.

The sooner all your businesses collapse, the better. You can beg on the streets for scraps and I won’t give you any. I’ll eat my MacDonalds with fries right in front of you and express exaggerated, almost orgasmic pleasure until you drool out the last drops of water in your bodies and blow away in a dust-cloud of dehydrated despicability.

Next election I will not vote for any of the current ‘main’ parties. Every one of them is utterly mindless. Not a single one of them has the intelligence to run a whelk stall.

When they look to the kitchen for policy, they have lost their last shred of credibility.



When I was a little bastard (I know, some think I still am) and the world was still in black and white (I can prove it, I have photos) we were allowed to own an airgun at 13 years old.

However, we were not allowed to buy one. A responsible adult, someone over 18, had to buy it for us.

I stil wonder about that. I’m not sure I was a responsible adult at 21 and I’m still not entirely sure at 58. But anyway, we could carry those airguns in the street as long as they were either broken open or in a cover. Nobody batted an eyelid. Try it now.

In Scotland you now need a licence for an airgun. Any kind of gun powered by compressed air. Including those toys that fire plastic BBs that won’t penetrate paper at 10 yards. I saw this coming and sold my air rifle for the cost of postage well before it happened. I didn’t expect my son’s old toy BB guns to be affected but they were and he had to hand them in along with a little .22 feeble air pistol I still had. The licence costs more than those guns were worth.

The ‘Gat’ and ‘Diana’ pistols are still a grey area. They are not powered by air. The barrel  just throws the pellet. Best ditch them anyway.

I also sold my crossbow some years back due to what can be best described as ‘financial embarrassment’ and if you’re out there and don’t want it, I am now in a position to buy it back plus storage costs. They aren’t licenced. Yet.

Real guns though. Actual gunpowder and bang and so on. I’ve never owned one. Never felt the need. I learned self defence in a country where guns were frowned upon before being banned. When you can take someone down with a plastic spatula, why mess with bullets?

Oh I’ve had a go. I was pretty good with a live round .22 at a student gun club tryout but joining and buying a gun would have eaten into my beer budget way too much. Priorities ae important.

I also had a go at clay pigeon shooting with a shotgun. I was crap at it. I could have done far better with a bow.

Guns are not for me. All the cleaning and security, I can’t be arsed with it. I have a kitchen knife display that I’m pretty good at throwing, aside from the dedicated throwing knives and axes, and lots of woodland to bury you in if you attack me so the lack of guns doesn’t  bother me.

I know how to kill you with a pencil. It’s not hard and your corpse won’t even bleed until I’m long gone. Guns are far too noisy and messy.

In some parts of the world, having a gun is a very useful thing. If I was attacked by a bear or a cougar, the spatula trick won’t work and the thrown knives will just annoy it. In some parts of the world that’s a real issue. In Scotland, well we have wildcats but they tend to stay clear of humans unless seriously provoked. They aren’t big enough to eat you and you’re in far more danger from a domestic cat that likes to curl around your legs on the stairs.

We do have vipers, the most poisonous snake in the UK which is not really very far up the poisonous snake list. It can kill you but the survival rate is high. The other two common ones are the smooth snake and the grass snake, neither of which are poisonous but they’ll bite you anyway. All of them shy away from humans, these are not cobras nor rattlers, they won’t come looking for you.

In the UK then, you don’t need a gun to protect yourself against dangerous animals. We don’t really have many and the ones we do have are scared of us already. At the moment, the most dangerous one is a spider and if it’s on your arm, shooting it is not the best option.

What about criminals?

I said at the start of the gun ban, and stand by those words now, that I have never owned a firearm but anyone wanting to break into my house wouldn’t have known that for sure before the ban. Now they do know for sure. That does not make me safer. I could have shouted ‘I’m getting the gun’ if I heard someone in the house before the ban. If I shout that now they’ll just laugh.

Also, I could have bluffed with a replica gun before, but it’s unlikely to work now. So instead I’ll get the sledgehammer or the wood axe or some knives and not shout anything at all. This makes the criminal less safe too. I have to assume he is armed. And since criminals can still get guns, I have to assume he has one.

In the old days I could have bluffed with a replica pistol and made him lie down until the police arrived. Now? I’m going to take him from behind with the sledgehammer. And since I’m a considerate chap, I wouldn’t want to take the police away from their important work prosecuting hate speech – I won’t have said a word anyway. I’ll just clean up and dig a hole in the woods. The police are 20 miles away anyway, by the time they got here I’d be dismembered and the house ransacked.

The UK’s gun ban has not made us safer. I have a few friends who used to enjoy pistol shooting at gun ranges. They kept their guns at home in locked safes and their children would rarely even see them- and would not be allowed to handle them. I never even saw their guns, they wouldn’t get them out just to show them off and I didn’t ask. Their sport is gone now.

Clay pigeon shooting with shotguns is still a thing. So is, I believe, shooting grouse and pheasant although I have never partaken. Eating things while picking buckshot from your teeth holds no appeal for me. I recall being given some rabbits that had been shotgunned, many years back, and while the free meat was much appreciated at the time, you had to find all the pellets.

We still have deer-hunting with rifles here. Sounds like too much work – I can buy venison in Aldi if I feel so inclined and I wouldn’t have storage space in my freezer for an entire deer. It just wouldn’t be practical, a lot would be wasted and I despise waste. Oh I go fishing and I’d consider hunting rabbits (I’d dress as Elmer Fudd, naturally) although since rabbits actually have warrens in the garden that’s not really sporting. I could shoot them from the living room window.

Farmers usually have a shotgun or two around. Some people in the UK have guns still (no handguns, apart from criminals) and I’m fine with that. I don’t want one, but I have no objection to anyone else having one. I don’t even care who has a handgun.  Aside from criminals.

You know, the handgun ban in the UK had absolutely no effect on criminals. Their guns were illegal anyway, the law made no difference to them – except that now, they know their victims are unarmed.

Well, not with guns anyway, but then I never was  😉

Kids can’t even have capguns now. They don’t fire anything, a roll of caps moved up behind the hammer and they went ‘bang’ and made a little bit of smoke. I had several as a kid, one was a toy shotgun that used the roll of caps. We had a lot of fun with them and guess what? Very few of us ever went on to get a real gun (I didn’t) and those that did only used them on shooting ranges for sport.

The caps in a plastic circle that fitted inside a toy revolver were even better. A huge bang and a lot more smoke. Modern kids will never know the fun of that. Well, my granddaughter will. I have a plastic machine gun in the attic that makes sparks and noise. Best make sure she never takes it outside.

In our gun free Utopia there are shootings all the time now. A few days back there was a shooting and a grenade attack in Manchester. Grenade? This is a country where you can get ID’d buying a teaspoon and someone got hold of a grenade? A country where under-16s cannot buy Christmas crackers because of the Explosives Act (I am not making this up) and where shop staff are told to ID anyone buying alcohol if they look 25 or under, even though the legal age to buy it is 18. In the UK you can get married at 16 but you can’t buy a kitchen knife until you are 18…

And yet criminals can get hold of a grenade?

What the hell is the point of making laws to contol people who already ignore them anyway?

Ah, of course. The point is not the control of criminals.

It’s to control the rest of us.




Hey Jude

It has been fashionable for a long time to blame the Jews for everything. It goes back way, way before Hitler. He didn’t start it, he just rode the bandwagon. Jews have been getting the short end for many centuries.

Maybe, sometimes, they did something to deserve it. I don’t know, I wasn’t around centuries ago unless reincarnation is real. If it is I’m sure I wasn’t Napoleon because if I had been I’d have had more sense than to launch an attack on Russia at the onset of winter. I’d probably have been the footman who Napoleon had executed for pointing out that he was an idiot. But I digress.

Jews were expelled from England in 1290 and that’s only 600 years after Mohammed’s edict to ‘keel them all’. I doubt anyone in England knew or cared about Islam at that stage. The Ottoman Empire started in 1299, and Europe didn’t care about it until it invaded, much later. There were no Nazis either. While there might have been some with socialist ideas, the ones that survived were the ones who kept it to themselves. So you can’t blame Muslims or Nazis for that expulsion. Jews have been booted out of countries for many, many reasons.

There have been distractions, of course. Currently Trump is to blame for everything from world peace to the common cold but someone, somewhere, will work the Jews into it somehow.

The current conspiracy theory is that Jews are orchestrating the Islamisation of the West. Well. The West has been beastly to them in the past, it’s true. On many occasions. But the West also gave them Israel and support it. So we honkys aren’t all evil. Also, having been through the Holocaust, does Judaism really want to be guilty of the next one? It seems unlikely.

It’s also true that if you want a belligerent, violent ideology to wreck an enemy’s country, Islam is top of your list. Hindus and Sikhs just keep to themselves, Christians will make you a cup of tea with no sugar if they are royally pissed at you and even Satanists have never done anything on the scale of Islamic terrorism. You want a warlike ideology, there is really only one choice.

But – and it’s a big but – is it really a good idea to populate most of the world with an ideology that loudly and proudly proclaims it wants to wipe your people off the face of the planet? What happens when every country except Israel is Muslim? Do the Jews want the ‘us and them’ thing to reach the point where ‘them’ is every other country on the planet? I seriously doubt that.

I see two options. Either the Jews are behind it all  or they are not. A simple yes/no.

If they are, their goal is not the eradication of Whitey but the eradication of Islam,. If Whitey suffers in the process, well, fuck ’em, they made the Jews suffer enough times in the past. But the goal here would be the eradication of their biggest threat and that is not Whitey Westerner.

See, Whitey is a pretty warlike breed too. Inventive when it comes to killing. Long range weapons and nuclear bombs are all Whitey inventions. Look at the horror genre. Who is writing/filming the really nasty stuff? What’s the skin colour of most, if not all, serial killers?

Yeah, Whitey is no pushover. It’s not the vocal girlie-men you meet in dark alleys, you know. We have mellowed with time, it’s true, but that’s because we let out our evil bloodlust side in TV and films and books. We don’t do that stuff for real any more – but don’t think we aren’t still capable of it. Heck, we’ve spent centuries killing each other in all sorts of interesting ways. Now we just write about it or make movies but it’s not gone.

So, if the Jews want Islam erased, they’d send them to us and let them cause problems until we’ve had enough. From Israel’s point of view, that would result in a lot of dead Muslims and dead Whiteys and Israel can sit back and watch the show.

But… maybe that’s not what is happening. Maybe this has nothing to do with Jews at all. Maybe they are, as has happened before, a convenient scapegoat. A distraction. A handy whipping-boy to take our eyes off the real story.

There was another theory, put very well by an elderly Scandinavian woman, that I can’t find the video of now. This theory basically said that a deal was struck a long time ago for oil. The deal was that we Westerners would get oil as long as we promoted Islam.

Might be utter bollocks, but it doesn’t seem unlikely.

Well the west didn’t do it and Islam eventually said ‘do it, or no oil’. It would explain why our elected idiots are turning such a blind eye to terrorism and threatening to jail us all for heresy though.

Well anyway. Those are the ideas that are out there now. The one I can’t buy into at all is that the Jews are deliberately promoting their mortal enemies into a position where they could crush Israel in a matter of moments. I don’t understand why the Jews – or anyone – would promote their current biggest threat to dispense with a historic threat that is really no threat any more. That makes no sense at all.

Both of the others make sense, but especially the last one because it involves money. Politicians love money so much they’d be willing to die rich, even if it is going to be surprisingly premature.

Come on, Tessie and the rest. Do you really think that if the UK became Islamic they’d let you be in charge of it?

What do you think they’d do with you when you’ve done your job?

Ah, Tessie. Should have studied history rather than geography. But hey, at least you studied something.

Puts you one up on your opposition, eh?