Split vote fiasco

I know, it sounds like a Captain Beefheart song title, and it probably should be. He’d have written something wonderfully bizarre about our tragically bizarre political world and maybe we’d have had something to smile about.

The UK’s current political mainstream is now certifiably insane. Labour, Tory, the Vince Cable Show, they all talk a lot and promise things and then do the opposite. Or they do nothing at all. It would be better if they all stuck to doing nothing at all, I think, since everything they do ends up as a balls-up.

Tessie Maybe is a control freak who makes Maggie the Thatch look meek. Really. We knew this when she was Home Secretary. Remember how she wanted a DNA database of everyone in the country, control of the Internet and how she buggered up the police while she was in control of them? Who the hell thought it a good idea to make her Prime Monster? Why didn’t they give the job to Bulky Boris? At least we’d have had some laughs along the way.

There are alternatives to vote for. Nobody thinks they can win even though all three main parties are clearly doing their best to lose.

It reminds me of the Welsh rugby team, way back in the days when Barry John was the star. They won every game. Then they basked in their glory. They came to believe ‘We are Wales, we cannot lose’. When they thought that way they got absolutely hammered. It took quite a few years before they managed to get a respectable game score again.

So a relatively small and new party can never win, eh? Tell that to the Tories and the Whigs, (Conservative and Liberal parties) who held sway since at least Cromwell’s time. The idea that the Labour party, the one they all called ‘Communist extremists’, could ever threaten their cosy my-turn-next system was risible. Where is the Liberal party now? In fragments, the biggest fragment under the ridiculous control of Vinnie the Wire.

It can happen. It has happened. It can happen again.

And yet, it will not happen at the next election. Oh there are alternatives but there are too many. It will split the vote for the alternatives and the same, drudging, lying, self-important spivs will get in again.

Farage has just made it worse by adding another vote-splitter to the mix.

There is a solution, as James has discussed.

There are three main alternative parties. They’re all nuts too, but they do have a focus which, whether you like their focus or not, is more than the current lot can claim.

UKIP, Alternative for Britain and the new Brexit party that Farage just made up. That last one will get no votes. It’s too new. If you’re not scouring the internet these days, you won’t hear about it. On the ballot they need to call it the Farage Brexit Party or it’ll be swept aside as another Curch of the Militant Elvis. But that’s their problem.

These three will compete with each other even though they want the same thing. They will split their vote and when the split total for those three exceeds the winning candidate’s vote, maybe they’ll wake up and smell the croissants.

It’s easy. None of them can cover every constituency. Some constituencies are not worth the effort. Standing against Jerry Cordite would look good in the news but you aren’t going to unseat him. His local zombies don’t even see any other name on the ballot. Don’t waste effort on posturing.

If those three actually spoke to each other and came up with a plan…

Split up the constituencies. Agree on coalition from the outset, You don’t have to make it a manifesto commitment, just know where you are going. Don’t stand against each other. If you do, you will lose.

Don’t slag each other off. In fact, each of you should praise the other two as viable alternatives in places your party is not standing.

Only fight constituencies where you have a chance. With the Tory betrayal on Brexit and the Labour nonsense coming out now, those constituencies won’t be too hard to find. And don’t forget the SNP who are increasingly becoming despised in Scotland for their overtaxing nannying. You don’t have to win every seat, you don’t have to have a majority in one party, you have to win a majority between the three of you.

So who will be Prime Monster? All three of them want to be. The simple solution is, whichever one has most MPs gets to nominate a PM. I know, the other two party bosses won’t like it but you play the Game of Thrones and, well…

Those three parties have to agree on something like this or we’re back to Tessie Maybe or Jerry Cordite and neither is a good option. This country needs something new. It might be great, it might be shit, but anything is preferable to the rubbish we have at the moment. It’s like a bunged up toilet. Get the crap out, fix it later.

Will they listen? They are politicians.

So… no.


The Amazing Occasional Cortex is the best thing to happen to American politics. Her entertainment value trumps even Trump. I hear the senior Democrats plan to get rid of her ASAP because she’s too dim even for a career in politics. And she’s giving away the game.

She’s also quite pretty when she’s not doing the bulging eyes and catfish mouth thing. Dimmer than a five watt light bulb, even so.

I once bought a five watt (tungsten filament) light bulb when I was a student. I put it in the central light in the room I occupied. I swear the place got darker when I turned it on. The gloom level it gave was most delightful.

Occasional Cortex has rediscovered something science was bilking money for back in the 1990s. An impossible project with just enough hints of vague promise to keep the funds flowing. I wasn’t working on it but I was there.

I’ll try to keep to layman’s terms and not don the lecturer cap here. At that time I had just switched from working with ruminants to working with pigs. It was the time I developed the artificial pig gut so I could experiment without messy animals getting in the way. I still have its final incarnation, it’s in pieces in the garage. I doubt I’ll ever run it again though.

Anyway. A ruminant (cows, sheep, goats etc) has four stomachs. The last of these is a proper stomach like we non-ruminants have. Number 3 is for the lecture hall, I won’t bore you with it here. The first two are usually pretty much combined into one big fermenting bag. It doesn’t digest anything from the animal’s point of view but it digests things animals can’t digest. Namely, grass and other plant materials that would pass straight through us undigested.

They do this because the rumen, that big bag, is loaded with a massive population of bacteria and protozoa. My PhD was on the rumen protozoa, mainly Dasytricha and Isotricha, incidentally. Also, while I was doing my PhD, someone else discovered that the rumen was home to the only anaerobic filamentous fungi known at that time.

Back to the point. The thing about that rumen is that it is almost, (but not quite) totally lacking in oxygen. It is the perfect place for methane-producing bacteria to thrive and they do. Big time. You think you fart a bit of methane? Pfft. If dragons were ever real, they were cows with spark plugs in their noses.

So, in the 1990s, there was much funding available for reducing methane production by cattle. It can’t be done, of course. Mess with that microflora and you’ll show a result but when you stop meddling, it just goes back to its natural balance. Keep meddling and the cow gets sick.

The thing about ruminants is that they don’t have a single essential amino acid requirement in their diet. The bacteria and protozoa in the rumen make them all from grass and the cow digests the bacteria and protozoa later. You can, it is true, feed a cow urine-soaked newspaper and it will survive. Carbon source, nitrogen source, its rumen microbes will produce all it needs. However, it needs that microbial population in balance. If it goes out of kilter the animal can get lactic acidosis or bloat, both of which can be terminal.

I did have some fun back in those days. I had found methane-oxidising bacteria in pig guts. Yes, I was pressured in a most unfriendly way into handing those results to the cow meddlers and I put up just enough resistance to let them think I cared. Pig guts (like human guts) have way more oxygen than a rumen, relatively, but it’s still not much. Those methane oxidisers, which require oxygen, were growing incredibly slowly and having no discernible effect on the pig’s methane production. They had no chance in the rumen but it was fun to watch them try.

Later I ‘leaked’ ammonia oxidising bacteria to the same group. They are real, but again, they aren’t doing much in a low oxygen environment.

The only way to reduce the global production of methane by cows is to… kill all the cows. This is obvious and has been from the beginning. It will make no difference unless you kill all the wildebeest and deer and rhinos and antelopes and moose and reindeer and every other herbivorous animal on the planet. Oh, and you have to drain all swamps and estuarine sediment areas too. But reducing methane was never the point.

It’s incredibly silly anyway. Cows can live on grass, we cannot. Huge areas of land won’t grow anything but grass. Turn them into croplands and without many, many tons of artificial fertlisers they will grow… only grass. You grow meat animals or nothing at all on those lands.

The point was, as Occasional Cortex makes clear to even the dimmest of voters now, to stop you lot eating meat. It was to make you drain away your energies on tofu and beans. That’s going to reduce methane production? Really?

Man made climate change is a load of cobblers. We all know it, even those who promote it know it. If Al Gore really believed it he wouldn’t live in a mansion that lights up like a planetary Christmas tree. None of them really believe it. It’s just part of the plan.

The sun is entering a Maunder minimum and real science has known this was coming all along. They were scared to say anything because denying the ‘man made’ part is a career ender. Even those who tried to warn everyone always qualified it with ‘but man made global warming will continue afterwards’.

No it won’t. Most of you will be dead afterwards. Why do you think they are so keen to move people out of the future nature reserve called Africa and send them North? A Maunder minimum will kill them even faster than it will kill us. People adapted to tropical climates are not going to last long when the glaciers start to roll again.

It’s happening faster than real science expected. Sunspot activity is dropping sooner than expected. You don’t have 20 years before it hits, it’s already started. That polar vortex is just a taste. Hence the panic to move the Plan forward faster now.

So if you have been preparing for a meatless warm future, well good luck to you. I have many years of fishing skills and know how to set a rabbit snare, and how to prepare a rabbit and cure the skin for later use. Oh I haven’t done that for decades but it’s really not hard once you know. I’ve been getting ready for cold, no electricity, no mains water or sewage, and a meat based diet based on what’s likely to be left around here.

The Plan has been no secret for a very long time. This particular ‘conspiracy theory’ has been, quite literally, set in stone and put on on public display. Still, many deny it.

Many poo-poo it even now. However, most of those who scoff are avid fans of Bernie Stalinders and the Occasional Cortex and all the free stuff they promise that will be paid for by someone else. They are listening, not to the voices of reason, but to the voices of madness and disaster.

One of those voices is now telling them the links in the Plan.

I think the Democrats will get rid of her sooner rather than later. But I hope she stays for a long while.

She’s the best laugh I’ve had since the Benny Hill show.


I’ve been busy with some intensive book preparation lately. I know there are two books on the way in and the next anthology starts mid February so I took a bit of time to finish one of my own. It actually was pretty much finished, I just hadn’t realised it. All it needs now is final editing and a cover.

Well, I said at new year that 2019 was going to make 2018 look sane and so far I have not been disappointed. The insane asylum that is Public Health wants to put us all on rations to combat an obesity epidemic that does not exist. Sugar ‘allowance’ was quietly halved a year earlier so that now we can be accused of consuming twice the ‘allowance’.

They did the same with booze ‘allowance’. It dropped from 20-something units per week to 14 and they act as if that was the rule all along. 14 units? That’s breakfast!

Notice also the sly change from ‘recommendation’ to ‘allowance’. ‘We recommend you have this much’ has become ‘we will allow you to have this much’ as if we are children.

There is also the use of ‘limits’ on all kinds of things. Well I have my own limits, thanks. I know my limit for whisky, if I plan to do anything more than groan into my coffee the following day. I know my limit for bacon, it’s when I can get no more in.

Incidentally, they’re all having a go at bacon, aren’t they? ‘Science’ is now telling us that we’ll get The Lumps from even seeing it. PETA are having a big anti-bacon drive. Again. Oh they are against all meat consumption but particularly bacon. I wonder who they are appeasing?

Have they not seen the lunacy and violence caused by bacon depriivation all over the world? If they want a placid and easily controlled population, taking the bacon away is going to have the opposite effect. The evidence is clear for all to see and in this New Science of correlation = causation it cannot be denied.

Sometimes, as with asthma and smoking, a negative correlation proves causation. It’s a very flexible thing, this New Science. It always proves exactly what it’s paid to prove.

We are now in Dry January and also Veganuary. A month with no booze and no meat. If I follow that I will have worked out how to destroy the planet by mid-January and will have done it before February dawns. Fortunately for the world I am ignoring both of the silly things.

The Dry January will have a lot of adherents among those who don’t drink much but went way off the rails at New Year. They will have a days-long hangover and a month off will sound like a good idea to them. Also, most people are broke in January having spent December’s pay, at least, in advance over Christmas. So cutting out the expense of booze will appeal to them.

I did not get pie-eyed at New Year because I had to drive on January 1st. Scottish drink-drive laws are now at a level that make the Prohibitionists gasp in awe and the police have always been on high alert for any erratic driving around this time of year. I wasn’t going to take the chance. So I did not have the massive hangover of the booze noobs and I budgeted Christmas so I didn’t end up broke.

As for Veganuary, hahahaha! Most of those smug idiots trying it won’t last a week. They’ll pretend they did while sneaking a ham sandwich when nobody is looking. Veganism is a lifestyle choice with the accent on choice. It will never work when it’s forced on people, they’ll just eat each other. Starting with the herbivores.

Incidentally, while writing this, I heard about another one. ‘Januhairy‘. So now I have to cut every hair on my body and some of them are hard to reach. Thanks for that, idiots.

I really can’t wait for Fuckituary.

It’s the early hours of the 5th of January and already 2018 looks sane. This is just the beginning. This year’s lunacy is going to have even the Dreadful Arnott saying ‘hang on a minute…’ Defying it all is going to be a full time job.

Meanwhile in America they have elected a House of Representatives whose only policy is ‘get Trump’. Health, services, running a country, screw all that. They are going to target one man and impeach him whether he’s done anything or not.

The rest of America, well you have to get along as best you can. Your government is busy destroying itself.You voted for it.

The Amazing Occasional Cortex is going to be a lot of fun. She wants to ‘tax the rich to 70%’ even though many of them are Democrats. I expect George Soros will find a way to quietly get rid of her.

The UK tried that in the 1970s. France tried it more recently. The result is always the same. When you hammer taxes on to people who can easily afford to move away, they move away.

You don’t just lose the tax. You lose what rich people spend in shops. You lose the jobs that make the things rich people buy and you lose the businesses they run and the jobs that those businesses were providing. So you don’t just lose the rich bastard you hated. You now have a lot more people on welfare to take care of with a massively reduced tax income.

I’m all clear on tax. I don’t have to pay any more until January 2020. I don’t pay much anyway because I don’t earn much. But if I pay tax at 20% and provide no more than a trickle to the Treasury, and someone on a million a year pays 20% tax, then they are putting in £200,000 a year to the Treasury. How is that not ‘paying their fair share’?

In fact they put in a hell of a lot more because the bulk of that is taxed at the higher rate. I have paid higher rate tax twice and I don’t like it. So I deliberately don’t earn enough to do it again. Work hard, boost your business, end up working for half pay because the government has taken the other half. Why bother?

This is why Leg Iron Books now has a 70/30 split on profits in favour of authors and also why that split will get bigger for the authors if business really takes off. I do not want to pay higher rate tax. I really don’t need that much money. There’s no point, money isn’t even a real thing now. It’s just numbers on a screen. There is nothing backing it up.

And, when the socialists have taxed all the rich people out of the country, they’ll come for the rest of us. Don’t have a big savings pot. They’ll steal it. Eventually they run out of other people’s money and… it wasn’t real socialism.

Yes it was. That is what socialism does. Every time.

Five days into 2019 and the insanity meter has broken its needle already. There is so much more to come.

I am so glad I live way out of town. It’s going to get nasty in there.

Offended: The new murder

It seems Jerry Cordite called Tessie Maybe a ‘stupid woman’ in Parliament. The Internet is abuzz, the news outlets are in raptures and all the stupid MPs had a big debate about it.

Aside from it being the first thing he’s ever said that I agree with, I don’t see what all the fuss is about. It was just a muttered insult. Big fat hairy deal. If the Mambas of Parliament are so sensitive about being called stupid, they really should seach for their own names on Twitter. ‘Stupid’ is the mildest thing they’ll find in reference to themselves.

Jerry denies it. He claims he said ‘Stupid people’. Why? This is nowhere near the same league as the Brown Gorgon calling a member of the public a ‘bigot’ and being caught on tape.

He really should stand up for his words at least once in his career. His answer should have been ‘She is a woman, and she is stupid. Change my mind. On either point.’ I’d love to see the face of an interviewer if Jerry ever gets the guts to respond like that.

His remark has been called ‘casual mysogyny’ but he didn’t say all women are stupid. Just that one. If insulting one woman is mysogyny then what about all the rabid attacks on Maggie the Thatch when she was alive, and which continue long after she died? Why is that different?

Meanwhile, it seems Michelin O’Blimey has insulted Morticia Trump because Morticia gave her a gift at the handover from O’Blimey to Trump (if you are British you will probably know what Trump is slang for so there’s no real need to change his name to insult him).

Well, from the little clips I saw, it seemed more like Michelin accepted the rather large gift and, standing on a stage, didn’t know quite what to do with it, She actually said it was a very nice gift but should she set it on the floor while the handover continued, should she hold it? What? In the end, Barry took it from her and gave it to an aide.

This does not seem unusual and if it was meant as an insult… so what? If women bitching about other women is news we’d never hear about anything else.

I have insulted everyone I have just mentioned. Have I shortened their lives by years,days, hours, seconds? Have I neccesitated that they must now undergo years of therapy and counselling? Have I introduced them to the street acupuncture so popular in London under Saddo Canned? There, that’s another one.

No. Nothing happens to these people when they are called names. Nothing happens to anyone when they are called names. I’ve been called many names and I can attest to the total inefficacy of any words, in any language, as assault weapons. Why can’t they handle it like Jake the Greasy Moggie and just shrug it off? These people consider themselves our leaders. I’ve seen stronger jellies and I wouldn’t respect any of them as leaders. They are timid, cowering, teary-eyed tantrum-throwing jessies, the lot of them.

How can you expect to be respected when you crumble at a few words? When you need counselling because of something someone said? You are not ‘woke’, you are just incapable of spelling ‘weak’.

It is often said now that words are violence. People who believe this have less brainpower than an anencephalic. They are a waste of skin that could have contained a real person. They are the best argument any authoritarian government could have for proposing retrospective abortion. If you meet one, run. You have entered the very shallow end of the gene pool and it could be catching.

If you genuinely think words are violence then you have never experienced violence. You have never had the shit kicked out of you by a drunk gang just for being on the same side of the street as them. If that ever happens then you will know what ‘violence’ actually means. It has nothing to do with the words they use and everything to do with the fists and the boots.

When did this world become so bloody feeble? We have police and social services scared to arrest rape gangs because ‘racism’. What does race matter? Rape is rape. We have a major religion of about a billion people offended into apoplexy by a bacon sandwich. Gay people offended into lawsuits because a baker doesn’t want to make a cake. And now we have Parliament debating a trivial insult. How fucking petty is it going to get?

I will never, ever, enter anything labelled a ‘safe space’ because it will be full of jelly-kneed weaklings. People who believe they are genuinely physically damaged by words are people I want nothing to do with. If you are one of them, throw all the words you want at me but expect some very sharp ones back. Yours will have no effect, I feel I should let you know that in advance.

Also, why does it not work both ways? I had a troll on the old Blogspot blog (not Doubleday, this one was earlier) whose comments consisted of calling me racist-Nazi-bigot-paedo and then claiming he was threatened when I responded that the ‘paedo’ part was actually slander and he could end up being sued.

Oh it was straight out of the playbook. Insult, threaten, push, and when they respond claim you’re the victim. It’s an old and silly game.

They now call themselves ‘woke’ but they are fast asleep. Still following the playbook, still parotting the mantras. They used to pretend to be offended but they have done it for so long they now really believe they are actually hurt by words. Such a parody of humanity is way beyond anything Kafka could have envisaged, never mind Orwell.

They bang on about ‘climate change will kill us all’. No it won’t. Nature cares nothing for us, it will change this planet as it sees fit and has no regard for man-made ‘laws of physics’. Natue has no laws. Adapt or become extinct is Nature’s only rule for every species and we are not exempt. We can adapt to a changing climate. We’ve done that for a very long time but now we have a species that can’t even adapt to words.

Forget climate, forget asteroids, forget catastrophic eruptions. Humans are the Vegan T Rex’s of this age now. Basically, this species is fucked and nature didn’t do it. We did. The human race has been run. The humans lost.

And if you are offended by any of this, you can print it all out and ram it up your arse.

Police State

I am working on content for the new Leg Iron Books dedicated website. It’s developing pretty fast thanks to help from someone who actually knows what they are doing. This was not helped by a nine-hour power outage last night due to a storm. Engineers were not going out to fix anything in that weather and when I consider the idea of meddling with high voltage lines in high winds and rain, I don’t blame them at all. I wouldn’t do it.

Still, at least nobody in a Robocop suit turned up to beat me with a baton. So there’s that.

In France, Belgium and increasingly in other countries, something called the ‘Yellow Vests’ is gathering pace. The police in those countries are responding with tear gas and beatings and the levels of violence on both sides are increasing. Is it war? Does that count when one side has guns and the other side has rocks? I have a feeling we’re going to find out, in many places around the world, very soon.

In the UK, the yellow vests are mostly just getting in the way. Real Brits don’t really ‘do’ en-masse violence until pushed to the limit and then we do tend to go a bit over the top with it, it all gets a bit hazy then you wake up next morning and there are heads on spikes and other messy unpleasantnesses to deal with. So far though, the UK protests are not much more than a bloody nuisance. 

The Yellow Vests seem to want different things in different countries. In France they were banging on about fuel taxes but that issue was resolved and the protests have not stopped. Maybe something else is still riling them up? It’ll soon be illegal to talk about that, including in the UK.

The UK ones seem to be mostly about the utter incompetence and sheer two-facedness our government has shown in over two years of pretending to implement Brexit.

In Brussels… I don’t know. A sudden and unexpected wine shortage seems likely.

So will the EU have to impose a police state? Let’s be honest, they would delight in it. They have already set up an unelected dictatorship run by a W.C. Fields drinking competitor and a bloke who looks like the one who played piano in Sparks. We cannot vote for or against them, they are ‘appointed’. It wouldn’t be so bad if they appointed sane and sober people to those posts but the sane and the sober already have real jobs.

The thing about a police state is… it requires an absolutely obedient and brutal police force. Basically, Daleks in human form. France has always had that, really, but this time it’s much, much bigger than a few English football fans getting pissed and annoying the painters along the Seine, or some truck drivers shrugging and frowning around their Disque Bleue.

This time they are bashing their own people, lots of them, hard. Very hard indeed.

Once day a policeman is going to swing a baton, shoot pepper spray or fire a tear gas canister right into the face of his brother, father, sister, daughter. The way things are going, maybe a live round.

It’s going to happen. When it does, that policeman’s conditioning might well break.

And when one breaks, it will spread. Like one bad apple in a barrel, the whole batch will go off.The Robocop Virus will turn most of them human again.

Soon I expect to see French police controlling Italian riots, Belgian police in Finland, and so on. Even the wine-soaked leader of the EU will eventually realise that this will have to happen.

Let’s hope he doesn’t sober up in time.

Save Europe from the EU. Send him a case of fine Chardonnay.

By the time he wakes up it’ll all be over.

Joining the Whigs

There is much rambling about Tessie Maybe winning the vote of no confidence in her leadership of the Capitulation Party. Well, who cares? It was going one of two ways from the outset. Either they ousted her and we got a proper Brexit or she won and we get no more Tory party. They left it too late, way too late, and the latter option is the only one we have now.

We now have her supporters saying that the 170-odd Tory MPs who voted against her should be expelled from the party. Go on then. You only had a slim majority because of the few DUP MPs anyway and they won’t stand for this shit so you’re already fucked. Might as well make it utterly fucked.

Can’t happen, you think? A major party cannot be consigned to the wilderness? If the Tories disappear it’ll be Labour forever? Well, until they bugger things up to the point where we have to eat them…

Labour is a relatively new party. It’s still in its toddlerhood in British politics really and frankly it shows. For a very, very long time before that, the contest was between Conservatives (Tories) and Liberals (Whigs). Where are the Whigs now? That’s them in the corner, losing their religion. Run by Vinnie the Wire and determined never to get anywhere near the Prime Monster’s seat ever again.

The Whigs show no signs of a comeback. They were wiped out by the rise of Labour, fragmented, piddled around, never recovered and probably never will. It didn’t really take very long. It can, potentially, happen in one election. Lke that Austrian midget with the silly moustache did in Germany, all those years ago.

With the Tories now split harder than a banana filled with ice cream and fruit, it could well be about to happen again. There has been no real Conservatism since the Cleggeron Coagulation and if we put our hate aside (most of you weren’t even alive back then) the last real Conservative was Maggie the Thatch. Maybe you hate her for real reasons other than historical imaginings but whatever you think, there has been no genuine Conservative party after they booted her and replaced her with Monochrome Man.

The Tories have no choice now but to face the next general election with Tessie the Turncoat as leader. They are, in scientific terms, fucked.

They are going to screw up Brexit. That is assured. They are going to split into factions that will put them on the benches next to the remains of the Whigs. That is certain. There will be a new version of Conservatism on the rise.

Who? UKIP? They are not looking good just now. There is For Britain who might well snatch a truckload of Tory votes. If there is any sense left in the world, UKIP and For Britain would agree to a common agenda and not oppose each other in elections. That’s logic, not politics. It will not happen.

This is a dangerous time. It seems only our politicians (of which very, very few would win a vote of no confidence from the public) don’t see it. It is the perfect time for an exremist to get into power because politics now gives the voters no midway choice. Full on right or full on left. The middle is going nowhere.

It doesn’t matter which you choose, they will kill you and your family for one word out of place.

But hey, you voted for it. You can say there was no other choice and currently I would have to agree, but you can be the other choice.

Parties start with one person’s idea. Like Hitler’s. Or Pol Pot’s. All it takes is an idea at the right time, and this is the time waiting for the idea.

Do you have an idea?

You can be the next Mao. It’s time.

Strange times

Busy here at Underdog Swamp. The car goes in for MOT tomorrow, author payments are slightly delayed because I’m concentrating on finishing the Christmas book (it’s assembled, just needs formatting and final meddling with the cover) and I’m still emptying that lab. However, I do find a few spare moments to wonder at the madness of our government.

Tessie Maybe’s Brexit plan is an utter mess. It does not matter whether you voted Leave or Remain any more. She has utterly fucked it up. We stand to lose everything – and there is now the threat that we might not leave the EU at all.

Some remainers are delighted. However, we won’t be going back to how it was before. The EU will make an example of us to deter Italy and others from leaving. Basically, unless we clean break with no deal (WTO rules) we are fucked. May’s deal will screw us. Going back to the EU will screw us. This is very clear and if you want to pretend it’s all going back to the way it was before, then frankly you’re an idiot. There is no going back.

This is where Tessie Maybe’s ‘negotiations’ have got us. She has absolutely and completely buggered this country no matter what we do now. Why?

People like to blame her EU stooge, Oily Rubbings, for this stupid deal. Even he has said it’s a bad idea. Now if Oily himself thinks this is bad, that only leaves Tessie pushing it. Oh and Arselicker Gove, the eternal smiling potato.

Now there is talk of another referendum. Oh they’d love that. Leave with Tessie’s insane surrender deal, leave with no deal, or remain. That will split the Leave vote because there will be enough anencephalics out there who think surrender is a good idea. Reaming will win, and reaming is what we’ll get.

It’s standard EU practice. You had a referendum. We don’t like the result so do it again until you get it right. This is just a sneaky way of doing it – Tessie has offered us eternal servitude as the only option unless we vote to stay in the totalitarian state they are creating.


Why would any Prime Monster, or indeed any sane person, push for a deal that leaves their country in an utterly disastrous situation? When even her EUrophile pal, Oily Rubbings, says it goes way too far? Why would a Prime Monster seek to hide the legal analysis of her crazed document even from Parliament (she can’t legally do that by the way, and anyway it was leaked to the Sunday Times so we now know there will be no way out).

I must admit I am left with only one conclusion. The EU mandarins know something she doesn’t want to become public knowledge. Probably linked to her taking down webpages, as soon as she had the power, that refer to a certain person. There are a lot of people digging this information now and the internet never really loses anything.

Something is going to come out. Something that could be very nasty. If she doesn’t wreck this country over Brexit, the EU will release it.

Whether she does or not, someone out there will find it and release it. There is no escape, Tessie. No going back.

Whatever it is, it would have been better to face it rather than have it added to all the things you have done in the last two years. Your greatest achievement in the history books of the future will now be the enslavement of the United Kingdom and the absolute destruction of the Conservative party. To keep a secret everyone with basic hacker skills is now looking for, and will find. It was all for nothing.

Nothing, Tessie, is what you will end up with. I cannot find any sympathy in me for you.

You have done this all to yourself.