Police State

I am working on content for the new Leg Iron Books dedicated website. It’s developing pretty fast thanks to help from someone who actually knows what they are doing. This was not helped by a nine-hour power outage last night due to a storm. Engineers were not going out to fix anything in that weather and when I consider the idea of meddling with high voltage lines in high winds and rain, I don’t blame them at all. I wouldn’t do it.

Still, at least nobody in a Robocop suit turned up to beat me with a baton. So there’s that.

In France, Belgium and increasingly in other countries, something called the ‘Yellow Vests’ is gathering pace. The police in those countries are responding with tear gas and beatings and the levels of violence on both sides are increasing. Is it war? Does that count when one side has guns and the other side has rocks? I have a feeling we’re going to find out, in many places around the world, very soon.

In the UK, the yellow vests are mostly just getting in the way. Real Brits don’t really ‘do’ en-masse violence until pushed to the limit and then we do tend to go a bit over the top with it, it all gets a bit hazy then you wake up next morning and there are heads on spikes and other messy unpleasantnesses to deal with. So far though, the UK protests are not much more than a bloody nuisance. 

The Yellow Vests seem to want different things in different countries. In France they were banging on about fuel taxes but that issue was resolved and the protests have not stopped. Maybe something else is still riling them up? It’ll soon be illegal to talk about that, including in the UK.

The UK ones seem to be mostly about the utter incompetence and sheer two-facedness our government has shown in over two years of pretending to implement Brexit.

In Brussels… I don’t know. A sudden and unexpected wine shortage seems likely.

So will the EU have to impose a police state? Let’s be honest, they would delight in it. They have already set up an unelected dictatorship run by a W.C. Fields drinking competitor and a bloke who looks like the one who played piano in Sparks. We cannot vote for or against them, they are ‘appointed’. It wouldn’t be so bad if they appointed sane and sober people to those posts but the sane and the sober already have real jobs.

The thing about a police state is… it requires an absolutely obedient and brutal police force. Basically, Daleks in human form. France has always had that, really, but this time it’s much, much bigger than a few English football fans getting pissed and annoying the painters along the Seine, or some truck drivers shrugging and frowning around their Disque Bleue.

This time they are bashing their own people, lots of them, hard. Very hard indeed.

Once day a policeman is going to swing a baton, shoot pepper spray or fire a tear gas canister right into the face of his brother, father, sister, daughter. The way things are going, maybe a live round.

It’s going to happen. When it does, that policeman’s conditioning might well break.

And when one breaks, it will spread. Like one bad apple in a barrel, the whole batch will go off.The Robocop Virus will turn most of them human again.

Soon I expect to see French police controlling Italian riots, Belgian police in Finland, and so on. Even the wine-soaked leader of the EU will eventually realise that this will have to happen.

Let’s hope he doesn’t sober up in time.

Save Europe from the EU. Send him a case of fine Chardonnay.

By the time he wakes up it’ll all be over.

Joining the Whigs

There is much rambling about Tessie Maybe winning the vote of no confidence in her leadership of the Capitulation Party. Well, who cares? It was going one of two ways from the outset. Either they ousted her and we got a proper Brexit or she won and we get no more Tory party. They left it too late, way too late, and the latter option is the only one we have now.

We now have her supporters saying that the 170-odd Tory MPs who voted against her should be expelled from the party. Go on then. You only had a slim majority because of the few DUP MPs anyway and they won’t stand for this shit so you’re already fucked. Might as well make it utterly fucked.

Can’t happen, you think? A major party cannot be consigned to the wilderness? If the Tories disappear it’ll be Labour forever? Well, until they bugger things up to the point where we have to eat them…

Labour is a relatively new party. It’s still in its toddlerhood in British politics really and frankly it shows. For a very, very long time before that, the contest was between Conservatives (Tories) and Liberals (Whigs). Where are the Whigs now? That’s them in the corner, losing their religion. Run by Vinnie the Wire and determined never to get anywhere near the Prime Monster’s seat ever again.

The Whigs show no signs of a comeback. They were wiped out by the rise of Labour, fragmented, piddled around, never recovered and probably never will. It didn’t really take very long. It can, potentially, happen in one election. Lke that Austrian midget with the silly moustache did in Germany, all those years ago.

With the Tories now split harder than a banana filled with ice cream and fruit, it could well be about to happen again. There has been no real Conservatism since the Cleggeron Coagulation and if we put our hate aside (most of you weren’t even alive back then) the last real Conservative was Maggie the Thatch. Maybe you hate her for real reasons other than historical imaginings but whatever you think, there has been no genuine Conservative party after they booted her and replaced her with Monochrome Man.

The Tories have no choice now but to face the next general election with Tessie the Turncoat as leader. They are, in scientific terms, fucked.

They are going to screw up Brexit. That is assured. They are going to split into factions that will put them on the benches next to the remains of the Whigs. That is certain. There will be a new version of Conservatism on the rise.

Who? UKIP? They are not looking good just now. There is For Britain who might well snatch a truckload of Tory votes. If there is any sense left in the world, UKIP and For Britain would agree to a common agenda and not oppose each other in elections. That’s logic, not politics. It will not happen.

This is a dangerous time. It seems only our politicians (of which very, very few would win a vote of no confidence from the public) don’t see it. It is the perfect time for an exremist to get into power because politics now gives the voters no midway choice. Full on right or full on left. The middle is going nowhere.

It doesn’t matter which you choose, they will kill you and your family for one word out of place.

But hey, you voted for it. You can say there was no other choice and currently I would have to agree, but you can be the other choice.

Parties start with one person’s idea. Like Hitler’s. Or Pol Pot’s. All it takes is an idea at the right time, and this is the time waiting for the idea.

Do you have an idea?

You can be the next Mao. It’s time.

Strange times

Busy here at Underdog Swamp. The car goes in for MOT tomorrow, author payments are slightly delayed because I’m concentrating on finishing the Christmas book (it’s assembled, just needs formatting and final meddling with the cover) and I’m still emptying that lab. However, I do find a few spare moments to wonder at the madness of our government.

Tessie Maybe’s Brexit plan is an utter mess. It does not matter whether you voted Leave or Remain any more. She has utterly fucked it up. We stand to lose everything – and there is now the threat that we might not leave the EU at all.

Some remainers are delighted. However, we won’t be going back to how it was before. The EU will make an example of us to deter Italy and others from leaving. Basically, unless we clean break with no deal (WTO rules) we are fucked. May’s deal will screw us. Going back to the EU will screw us. This is very clear and if you want to pretend it’s all going back to the way it was before, then frankly you’re an idiot. There is no going back.

This is where Tessie Maybe’s ‘negotiations’ have got us. She has absolutely and completely buggered this country no matter what we do now. Why?

People like to blame her EU stooge, Oily Rubbings, for this stupid deal. Even he has said it’s a bad idea. Now if Oily himself thinks this is bad, that only leaves Tessie pushing it. Oh and Arselicker Gove, the eternal smiling potato.

Now there is talk of another referendum. Oh they’d love that. Leave with Tessie’s insane surrender deal, leave with no deal, or remain. That will split the Leave vote because there will be enough anencephalics out there who think surrender is a good idea. Reaming will win, and reaming is what we’ll get.

It’s standard EU practice. You had a referendum. We don’t like the result so do it again until you get it right. This is just a sneaky way of doing it – Tessie has offered us eternal servitude as the only option unless we vote to stay in the totalitarian state they are creating.

Why?

Why would any Prime Monster, or indeed any sane person, push for a deal that leaves their country in an utterly disastrous situation? When even her EUrophile pal, Oily Rubbings, says it goes way too far? Why would a Prime Monster seek to hide the legal analysis of her crazed document even from Parliament (she can’t legally do that by the way, and anyway it was leaked to the Sunday Times so we now know there will be no way out).

I must admit I am left with only one conclusion. The EU mandarins know something she doesn’t want to become public knowledge. Probably linked to her taking down webpages, as soon as she had the power, that refer to a certain person. There are a lot of people digging this information now and the internet never really loses anything.

Something is going to come out. Something that could be very nasty. If she doesn’t wreck this country over Brexit, the EU will release it.

Whether she does or not, someone out there will find it and release it. There is no escape, Tessie. No going back.

Whatever it is, it would have been better to face it rather than have it added to all the things you have done in the last two years. Your greatest achievement in the history books of the future will now be the enslavement of the United Kingdom and the absolute destruction of the Conservative party. To keep a secret everyone with basic hacker skills is now looking for, and will find. It was all for nothing.

Nothing, Tessie, is what you will end up with. I cannot find any sympathy in me for you.

You have done this all to yourself.

 

Madness

There’s a lot of it about.

Brexit, of course, is a shambles and is likely to see the last days of the Tory party. If arch-liar Tessie Maybe and her sidekick, Oily Rubbings, manage to get this travesty of a ‘deal’ passed, the Tory voter base is all but gone. A lot of irreversible damage has already been done so if Tessie the Liar leads her party into the next general election then they will lose it.

If they stop this pantomime and deliver a proper, genuine Brexit then they will still have a party in opposition. But they cannot now win a general election. Too many blatant lies and broken promises, and we now know for sure that manifestos from either side are just recycle-bin fodder. No point reading them, they aren’t going to do what they say.

We have just had a ‘day of remembrance for trans people who were killed for being trans people’. Hot on the heels of the 100th Day of Remembrance for millions who were killed just for being unfortunate enough to be the right age to be dragged of to war, that seems a bit sick to me. Especially when, on this 100th anniversary of the end of that war, our current government plans to render all those lost lives, all of that war and fighting, a total waste of time.

Sure, it’s horrible that someone is killed just for being themselves, but this rarely happens to trans people in the West. The figure of several hundred killings is global and guess where it most often happens? They don’t want to say it. Can you guess why?

A female judge has ruled that FGM is perfectly legal in her country and that a law that was passed against it must be struck off the books because it is contrary to the constitution of that country. FGM is now a constitutional right in… America.

In London, street acupuncture is a daily occurrence now, although unlike the traditional acupuncturists who take their time placing small needles in various locations, this new breed of street acupuncturists favour a much quicker method. They use a big knife instead of lots of tiny needles and get the whole show over in a second. Unfortunately, their success rate for cures is really, really bad.

The police would very much like to deal with that, however they have been reallocated to ‘online hate crime’ and waste their days reading crap like this, looking for something to take offence at.

In Ireland, a judge has declared that a rape victim was asking for it because she was wearing a thong. You  know, those cheese-wire knickers that, if you give someone wearing one a wedgie, will cut them in half.

Presumably she was wearing it under other clothing that the rapist would have had to remove before getting to the cheese-wire, but in this judge’s mind, that is irrelevant. Soon, rape will be legal in Ireland.

In Sweden… oh forget it. Sweden is utterly fucked.

Half of America is drooling at the prospect of impeaching a President who doesn’t seem to be doing much wrong other than looking a bit of a boorish idiot. He’s not the one with street gangs trying to silence opposition and threaten people in their homes. He’s the one who has produced economic growth and jobs that Obama initially said could never happen and is now trying to claim the credit for. But they hate him with a passion. There is no reasoning behind this really, it started the moment he was elected and it has not abated at all since. Well, that’s for America to deal with. We have our own problems, we have absolute arseholes running the UK and while Trump’s motto is ‘Make America Great Again’, the UK government is doing its damndest to delete the ‘Great’ from Great Britain.

Italy is coming to its senses. They’re about to give the EU a dose of proper Italian swearing and might well be out of there before we are. Along with Poland, Hungary, and other eastern countries who only just got away from Russian communist control and who can see exactly what the EU is up to.

Spain has threatened to veto Brexit if they can’t have Gibraltar. Well, they can’t veto it. They might be able to scupper the ‘deal’ we don’t want anyway, I hope so, but they cannot stop Brexit.

Neither can Tessie Maybe, nor even Oily Rubbings and his gang of lawless madmen. It’s done. That part is over. Deal or no deal, we are leaving. With the ‘deal’ on offer, no deal is a better option.

Staying in is not an option, not least because the EU intend to trash this country as a warning to others. Oh yes, even if we go cap in hand and beg to stay they are going to hit us hard. No-deal Brexit is now, by far, the best option available. Besides, that ship is sinking and this particular rat is very happy to desert it.

There is still a place of sanity in the world. Those who live there will kill you if you try to visit because for the last 30,000 years they have lived on an idyllic, bountiful island while the rest of the world has gone to shit. They are keeping it as it is, and I don’t blame them at all.

No, don’t even think about trying to join them. Even the British gave up on trying to colonise that place. You cannot talk to them because no visitor has lived long enough to learn their language. They are not interested in discussion. They are not interested in hearing your side of any story. You want to migrate there? They will kill you and probably cook you up too.

They have no money. None. They have no nuclear weapons. No guns. No cars, not even horses. No electricity. They have not bothered to invent the wheel and yet for 30,000 years they have never been invaded. Everyone who has tried has soon decided “Whoa, leave these people alone”. India has put a five mile exclusion zone around their island and have an absolute ban on letting anyone visit. Not to protect the islanders – to protect idiots who try to go there.

We could learn a lot from them. Especially those who like to meddle in the lives of others.

_____________________

In other news, the Christmas book will be called ‘Christmas Lights… and Darks’ because the stories are split between the whimsical and the diabolical. I’ll start sending author contracts shortly even though there is still a week to the deadline.

The end of November is also payment time for those on royalties and I have to clear out my lab by Christmas. It’s a hellish busy time.

So, I’m not immune to a bit of madness either.

 

 

Maybe, Tessie

Whether you voted Remain or Leave in the Brexit referendum, you cannot possibly be unaware of the utter shambles Tessie has made of the process. This ludicrous ‘deal’ is not what Leave voted for and it’s not what Remain voted for either. It’s a bloody mess.

It does not ‘leave the EU’ and it does not ‘remain in the EU’, which were the only two options on the ballot. It locks us into EU rules and the customs union and the ECHR with absolutely no way out, ever – and no say at all in anything the EU wants to impose on us. We will not be ‘in the EU’. We will be the EU’s bitch and they can bend us over and ream us for money any time they like. We will have no say at all. We will be Princess Leia in a brass bikini, with Juncker the Hutt holding our chain.

How can she even present this as a ‘deal’? We get nothing at all out of it. It’s an unconditional surrender and she should be on a boat heading for Traitor’s Gate even now.

Oh I don’t blame the rest of the Tories for this surrender. They had almost no say at all. I do, however, blame them for not doing anything about it. They could have ousted this jackbooted EU cuckoo long ago but no, they let her get deeper and deeper into political absurdity and tolerated her dictatorship.

I think ‘dictatorship’ is appropriate here. She has run this show alone, surrounded by yes-men (and women) and excluded her own MPs from the entire process. She set up a ‘Brexit minister’ who she then absolutely ignored. She’s on number 3 now, and he might as well spend his time on the golf course because he really has nothing to do.

She blackmailed her cabinet at Chequers, ran a behind-the-scenes plan with someone called Oily and conspired with the EU to wreck this country by dragging us into eternal servitude. The Tories saw this happening and did nothing. They don’t believe their party could ever end up like the Lib Dems, you know. Well guess what? Neither did the Lib Dems.

There is no ‘Leave the EU’ and no ‘Remain in the EU’ on the table in her world. There is only ‘Sell the people of the UK to the Juncker Drunk for a big bag of cash and a comfy retirement well away from the hellhole she wants to create’. We who voted Leave have often pointed out that Remain lost the referendum. It seems everyone who voted in that referendum lost. Neither of the options on the ballot are being enacted.

So what are the options now? WTO rules Brexit, no deal, out without paying billions and Juncker waving wine bottles at us from a park bench while shouting incoherently and making trade as difficult as possible seems the only option left. Still, we can trade with the rest of the world and spend our money in their countries, if the EU countries don’t want it. No more bloody Audis seems like a benefit, not a loss. Get yourself a Toyota Corolla if you want to look like a flash dickhead in future.

I hear they have finally sent in enough ‘Fuck off, Tin Tart, you’ll never be an Iron Lady’ letters in to trigger a no confidence vote. That might be true, it might not. I’ve been hearing this since she did the ‘sign this or walk home’ trick at Chequers and nothing has happened yet.

Maybe they will have that vote. Maybe she will lose and they’ll replace her with a) someone just like her or b) someone who has the first clue what they are doing. Someone who will tell the EU to call us when they have a sensible trade deal to offer, we’ll be having tea and tiffin while we wait.

Maybe she will win. Then there can be no new vote of no confidence for at least a year. That will destroy the Tory party for a very long time.

Consider: The DUP will withdraw their support because her plan leaves Northern Ireland behind. Without them, she has no government. Then it has to be a general election and having won the confidence vote the party cannot remove her as leader. They will have to fight a general election with the most hated woman on the planet as their leader.

If they end up at the current level of the Lib Dems they will have done very well indeed.

I’d predict a big shift to UKIP and maybe to the others, like Britain First, but not enough and the votes will split between actual right wing/centrist parties. Corbyn will win and face no effective opposition in the House.

If you were alive in the Harold Wilson years and you thought they were bad, well as they say in Yorkshire ‘Eee, lad, tha’s no idea’. You want to know what happened to Venezuela, until recently one of the world’s richest countries? Here it comes, right to your door.

Well maybe it’s time. Maybe the youth of today need to experience the full on socialism they crave. Three day weeks. Power cuts. Mass strikes. Huge taxes. All the rich people, the ones who run companies that provide jobs, leaving the country. It’s what they want. Give it to them.

To quote Mahogany’s last words in ‘Midnight Meat Train’, “Take it, and be welcome”.

We can, one day, vote out a loony Labour government.

If we let Treason May have her ‘deal’, there is no way out.

Okay, both options are shitty, but one is far shittier than the other.

If there is a general election and that bloody woman is leading the Tories, then for the first time in my life I will vote Labour.

Jerr Cordite will have five years to wreck the country. Under the Tories, the EU can stamp their boot on our faces forever.

I’ll take the temporary bastard.

 

 

 

No Exit Brexit

I am up to date on editing. Five authors so far in the Christmas anthology and the strong likelihood of more with two weeks to go. The Underdog Anthologies are now on book seven and still going. Okay, we don’t sell many so far but it did not follow my pessimism into the pit after the first one. This might actually get somewhere.

The end of November is also author payout time for this quarter, for novels and single author shorts collections. This links very badly, in business terms, with the need to get the Christmas book out in time. I will have to revise my Halloween and Christmas deadlines next year. Oh, I can do this thing, I did last year, but it’s knackering. Well, you know, live and learn and all that.

Live and especially learn no longer applies to the new generation of entitled drones. They do not learn. They declare what reality is, and reality must conform. There is a very, very nasty shock on the way.

It seems to not apply to most politicians either. The possibly living but definitely never learning Tessie the Tyrant cannot see, or will not see, or actually delights in the utter destruction of the Conservative party she is leading into places Oblivion doesn’t know about is more closed-minded than she could be if the Berlin Wall was built around whatever she uses for a brain.

I think it’s a Tamagotchi nobody has looked at for decades.

The country that abolished slavery over 200 years ago, the country that sent out the Navy to fuck up other slave trades, is about to become a country of slaves. Because of, not a woman, I would not be so sexist. Because of an idiot. A sad witch with delusions that she actually matters.

She does not matter. None of us do. We are ephemera. Temporary. I will die one day and so will you and what we did will be forgotten. What our children do is up to them, not to us. We won’t be here.

But what we do now can affect what those children have to deal with.

Do you want them to live as slaves in a vassal state? That is what Tessie (who has not reproduced, thankfully) wants. Or do you want your children to live on a little island at the rainy end of Europe that is full of hope and potential greatness and comfort.

Jack the Greasy  Moggie has children.

Someone with no future up against someone who cares about the future.

If you want someone who puts future over money to rule you, always pick the one with children.

The ones without have no reason to care.

The state of the world

I’ve been keeping up with the Christmas anthology (five authors in so far, I have hopes that two more regulars will come up with something and there’s still 16 days until the deadline) so have had little time to react to the news.

There is so much lunacy out there. At a private bonfire party on November 5th, a bunch of sickos burned a cardboard model of Grenfell Tower. Yeah, seriously bad taste, but six people arrested and charged over it as a ‘public order’ offence? Really? Nobody was charged over burning effigies of any President of the United States nor of any other political figures in this year or any past year. Nobody has ever minded the burning of a Catholic in effigy even though more and more people now wish his plot to blow up Parliament had succeeded. And yet burning a cardboard box is now an arrestable offence.

What about the guy who started the real fire in the real building, which killed real people? What has he been charged with? Anyone? Oh that’s right, he was never actually arrested and nobody is looking for him. It’s so much easier to arrest backyard proxy arsonists.

I would not have burned Grenfell Tower in a cardboard effigy. It’s far too twisted even for me. I’d say those who did this are arseholes but it’s not supposed to be illegal to be an arsehole. Especially when you’re being an arsehole in your own back yard and not actually harming anyone.

Their big mistake, of course, was putting it on social media. Thoughts are policed far harder than physical crimes these days, with the full backing of ‘anti-fascists’ who do not realise that what they are advocating is actual fascism. The policing of thoughts and ideas and opinions.

Oh and if you are one of the millions of Americans who tune in to UK stories to laugh at how ridiculous we have become (I don’t blame you, this place is a madhouse) you might want to check out what’s happening in your own country.

Worried about Donald Trump? Believe he is some kind of fascist? Is he trying to police your thoughts? Is he advocating the suppression of teenage jokey behaviour and its investigation by the police? Who is advocating that? That’s who you need to be concerned about because that’s who will turn you into a police state. Or you can just hate Trump because he’s Trump and let the fascists win. Like we have in the UK.

Of course, if you are an arsehole, the alternative to being arrested for burning a box is to go into politics where arseholes are welcomed.

Better yet, get a job with the Puritans in Public Control Health. Then you can be so much of an arsehole that you can call for a tax on meat, later to extend it to all foods (come on, really, you don’t think that’s the aim?), and demand a ban on milkshakes. And nobody will call for you to be arrested for arseholeness.

Milkshakes? Ban the old Moloko Plus?

Oh yes, really.

Fancy milkshakes must be banned because Studies have Shown and Experts have Said that they bring all the boys to the yard and this inevitably leads to teen pregnancy, heroin use, vaping, animal abuse and anal insertion of pomegranates.

Well it’s no dafter than any other Puritan pronouncement, and that’s actually true. When it comes to making up absurd stuff, Public Health make Kafka’s ghost gasp in admiration.

Milkshakes make you fat. Sure they do if you have them for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Most of us have them once in a while as a treat. My personal milkshake intake is much less than one a year and my overall milk intake generally depends on how much coffee I drink (espresso doesn’t need milk so only the ‘plain’ coffee counts). I have occasionally drunk a glass of milk but it’s way down from top of the list.

It’s rare for me to get the urge to have a milkshake and I have never had one of these ‘freakshakes’ of which they speak. I don’t want one. It does not appeal to me at all. Should I support banning them since I don’t like them anyway?

How many out there support the smoking bans because they don’t like smoking? How many support vaping bans for the same reason? How many support minimum pricing on alcohol because they don’t buy much, or any? How many support taxing or even banning meat because they don’t eat it?

I think all of those people are arseholes and I don’t want to be one so no, I will never support a ban on anything just because I don’t like it. Hey arseholes, I am not one of you and am proud to be excluded from your cult of arseholery. You can believe I’m the one who is universally hated if you like but really, it’s you. In the real world, nobody cares about, or even notices, me. Because I am not trying to live their lives for them. I have a life of my own.

Speaking of vaping, I recently bought a new one because it was on clearance sale. This is a bloody monster of a thing and will be a later blog post.

The JUUL vaping thing does not seem to be available in the UK so far. It is apparently, in America, a teen epidemic (that, in Public Health terms, means a teenager tried one once) and is used as a cudgel to beat flavours out of vapes.

JUUL’s response? ‘Oh yes you must ban these flavours we don’t make because they are evil!’

Has nobody been paying attention? The antismokers were happy to have the born-again nonsmoking vapers on their side to hammer ‘real’ smokers… until they had outlived their usefulness. Then, surprise, the vapers got hit with the same hammer. They looked to smokers for support.

‘First they came for the smokers. I’m a smoker, the rest of you are on your own now.’

Why would I support any group that has already supported my suppression?

I have wondered about JUUL and whether it would be a good thing to try. I’ll never try one now, not even if it does appear in the UK. I’m not going to support a quisling.

My prediction is that JUUL is now doomed. They are siding with the business vampires and they are not an ally, as they think. They are the host for a parasite that will use them to get what they want and then ditch them. Their customer base will see what they have done and abandon them.This has happened to several early vape sellers who tried to side with the Puritans and it will happen now to JUUL because the stupid bastards never learn.

A saying has been born lately. ‘When you go Woke you go broke’. Ask Lucozade or Irn Bru about that. Ask the peanut companies who have reduced the salt. Give it a year and ask JUUL if they still exist.

‘Woke’ is a parody of reality. More on that in another post.

The best response to the Puritans is still the one given by the makers of Buckfast tonic wine. Which I have never tried, but one day I will.

‘You cannot have caffeine and alcohol in the same drink!’ screech the Puritans.

‘Awa’ an’ bile yeir heid, ya wee bawbags’ responded Buckfast.

Buckfast won. All the companies could win by just saying ‘no’ to the Puritan thugs. Most of them just cave in. Compromise does not work when your enemy does not want compromise, just total control. As with Tessie ‘Halfwit’ Maybe’s Brexit, it is not a compromise. It is pathetic submission.

When you give in to thugs it makes them bolder. Thugs have toddler minds, they push and push to see how far they can go. If you don’t set a boundary for them, there is no boundary they can see. Modern ‘progressive’ idiot parents are finding this out now.

Basically, don’t be Lucozade. Be Buckfast.

Then maybe the end of the madness will at last be in sight.