It has been a strange week. I have three books in process, the anthology (waiting for one author’s response on whether the story needs any changes then it’s good to go), Lee Bidgood’s long-awaited novel, another from Mark Ellott that has already been so thoroughly vetted it won’t take long to do. I want to get them all done before April 30th.

So, obviously, now is the time to get calls and visits about a blue cheese mould project and another call asking for help with a student project on lactobacilli. Sigh. I’m determined to get those three books done though. I can sleep in May.

Stranger still is the overnight switch in the weather from winter to summer. This called for a bit of gardening today before it gets completely out of control. My son questioned my buying of a machete since I don’t live in a jungle. My response was ‘ignore that lot for a week and a jungle you shall have’.

The grass, which had been cut twice by this time last year, had lain dormant until today when it shot into life. The petrol for the mower ran out, it’s too long for the push mower and not long enough for the scythe. Besides, the grass is still plagued with fallen pine cones and branches and only the petrol mower can cope with those.

So instead I delved into one of the flower bed/shrubberies I hadn’t dealt with last year beyond scything down its nettle infestation. I trimmed the bushes and started the long job of digging out nettles by the roots. It’s the only way, and even that can take a few years to finally get rid of the bastards.

In there, I found a topiary piglet. Well, having found a deer skull in the holly tree last year I was, shall we say, not too surprised. The bush is hugely overgrown and probably not recoverable but the frame is intact. I can remake this piglet. Probably in a less inaccessible and more visible part of the garden. There are other areas I have not yet touched beyond hacking them into some semblance of order so there may yet be more surprises lurking.

And, at last, I have planted my favourite tulip, ‘Queen of Night’. Hoping for a good display this year. The bulbs overwintered in the kitchen and are sprouting. Yes, the kitchen gets cold enough to do that.

The IQOS microfag smoky thing is still getting used. I haven’t switched entirely but it has outlasted any Electrofag I’ve ever tried. I know, some born-again nonsmoker vapers at the radical end of the spectrum think this thing is evil. I know, some say it’s giving money to the sell-outs at Philip Morris. I don’t care at all about either of those stances. It’s cutting down the number of real fags I smoke and that is good for my wallet, and probably my health. Although I am still not convinced that smoking is anywhere near as deadly as it’s made out to be.

Using it while typing this, I have noticed that setting it down while typing a sentence (10 seconds or so) and then taking a puff, it gives a much more satisfying plume of almost-smoke. If they could make the device and especially the microfags cheaper they’d be on a serious winner here. As it is, the cost differential is minimal. If it was a big difference I’d be far more tempted to switch altogether but… meh.

They do send emails about surveys and those do build up some reserve cash. That’s good. It needs to be cleaned regularly or it starts to taste like smoking dried horseshit, so I plan to use the accrued survey cash to stock up on the cleaning sticks. They work far better than the funny brush thing that also comes with it.

Anyway, I suppose I should get to the actual blog post.

The Labour party has been hit with antisemitism, while the Conservatives have just tried to deport a lot of British citizens, many of whom have been British longer than I have. The Lords of Lib Dem Land and those Lords who have sworn an oath of fealty to a foreign power yet still have a place in the UK government have voted to ignore the electorate and keep the UK in a customs union with the EU even though the majority don’t want that. If you are looking for the Party of Morons in UK politics, well, it’s all of them.

The abolition of the House of Lords must surely be imminent. Or just convert it into a home for mad old duffers. It pretty much is that anyway. These oafs, when they can manage to stay awake at work, have now set the UK with the option to either become a vassal state of the EU or to leave with no deal at all. There are no other options.

This is what a fictional starship captain and his Dark Emperor, the Thin White Adonis, can’t grasp. We are leaving the EU. Blocking the final deal does not keep us in the EU. It just means we leave with no deal. I’m fine with that.

Tessie Maybe, the idiot supreme of our current government, has tried everything possible to distract from the total fuck-up she is making of negotiations with the EU. She has tried to start wars with anyone she can find and now she is concentrating on banning earbuds, plastic straws and coffee stirrers. All of which go into recycling bins, not rivers. I live next to a river and have never once felt the urge to drop anything plastic into it unless it’s a lure on a fishing line. We have been provided with bins for plastic and some nice, sweaty, grubby, sweary chaps come around every two weeks to empty it.

Then it all gets shipped to China or Africa in containers on huge ships that burn thousands of tons of diesel and and when it gets there they dump it in rivers. That is recycling.

Didn’t cotton buds used to be on wooden sticks? Can’t we go back to that? I could chuck them in the fire and get a few extra microjoules of heating here. Can’t do that with the plastic ones, they give off nasty stuff when they burn.

As for straws, we used to have paper ones that were fine for one use. Plastic was never necessary unless you wanted to use it over and over.

And I never liked coffee stirrers. We used to just have spoons.

Why then would I object to this ban? Because it’s a ban and this knee jerk reaction of ‘ban it’ has been pissing me off for a long time. Why not, instead, explore alternatives? Nothing is ever offered. It’s always carrot-and-stick without the carrot.

The farmer here has cut down a lot of trees. There is a massive amount of beech, birch, oak and pine in dead piles. My son has claimed some for his woodworking, I have claimed some for a garden arch and most of the rest will just end up getting burned. There is enough on this one farm to keep a cotton bud company supplied with little dowels for months at least. Why not incentivise that use rather than moan about plastic? Heck, they could come and take this wood for free. The farmer doesn’t want it, it’s just in the way.

Why not incentivise paper straws over plastic ones for single use occasions? Paper and wood can be burned or left to rot and the CO2 they put out is the same CO2 those plants absorbed so net effect = zero. Especially as the crops on the farm will reabsorb most of it, if not all.

As for coffee stirrers, use a fucking spoon like an actual adult. Then wash it and you can use it again.

But no, we have to have a ban. Another damn ban. Another bit of evidence that our government are a bunch of wasters who we pay to do nothing sensible.

And then we have the opposition. Labour. Or, more accurately, the Corbyn Cult of Nazism. Oh yes, you read that right. When I was in school in the 1970s they actually taught real history, not some fantasy past where left was right and all racists were honoured with statues. The real deal. You won’t get that now. Now we have a Government funded organisation called Historic England who will not hire white British employees and who want to tear down historic statues. Common Purpose to the core, and way beyond the absurdity horizon.

Nazis shut down debate with violence and abuse. They ignore dissenting views. They want to control what you say and, ultimately, what you think while they never think at all but act in blind obedience and awe of their chosen cult hero. Remind you of anyone, Jeremy?

Jezza walked out of the parliamentary debate on antisemitism even while his own MPs described the death and rape threats his supporters had sent them. Well, he doesn’t need to hear the results of his instructions, does he?

Then we have the thugs of Antifa and make no mistake, thugs is all they are. They are just looking for a reason to be arses and no matter how tenuous the reason, arses they will be. They are the new football hooligans, their team is whichever they want to fight with today. They fight against homophobia but then recently broke up a gay pride march because it offends Muslims. Really, they have no focus at all. It’s just a fight to them, the reasons are no more than an excuse and they can change by the hour. At least football hooligans stuck to one team.

There is a huge amount of coverage given to the new ‘trans’ movement which consists of about five people, four of whom are better described as drag queens than genuine trans. Chicks with dicks want to have access to little girls in changing rooms and toilets all over the country. A genuine trans woman has told me she wouldn’t like to share a train carriage with some of the loonies she has met, never mind a changing room. But the genuine ones are not part of this movement. This is men in tights looking for an easy target. It’s going to turn out nasty.

Should girls give up their right to privacy so that middle aged men in skirts can ogle them in the swimming pool changing rooms? A bikini with a flat-top and a stiffie below with a couple of pink Kiwi fruit hanging out the sides is not an appealing sight. It’s even more of a mind wreck than fishnet tights with tufts of hair coming out of every hole. I hear little to nothing about women who identify as men causing problems in male changing rooms and toilets. That’s probably because most of us men won’t mind at all if a woman wants to get naked nearby. The threat level is not even comparable, is it?

There has been far less outrage than expected over the paedo grooming gangs who have been left to their own evil devices for a very long time. I didn’t say Muslim gangs for a reason. Those are just the scapegoats. Oh they are guilty as hell but it goes far deeper and if the police were allowed to actually investigate in a proper police way, some very big names will be mentioned. That’s why they aren’t. It’s not really Muslim gangs they were protecting, that’s just the tip of the iceberg. They are being sacrificed now as a distraction to keep us happy that ‘something is being done’. It is not being done, it is being hidden.

The two major parties in this country are falling apart,. The third has already fallen apart and is now determined to bring about a no-deal Brexit and the abolition of the House of Sleeping Lards.

Feminism is in at least a dozen factions. Trans people, a tiny minority, are a prime concern for the Mayor of London who is a Muslim and therefore instructed by his religion to kill them in nasty ways. Gay people hold up rainbow flags with ‘Allah loves diversity’ written on them. No, he really doesn’t. Read the book. He couldn’t be more clear on this.

Knife crime will lead to the banning of knives which are already banned in public anyway (you can have a folding knife with a blade of less than 3 inches (7.5 cm) as long as it doesn’t lock open and that is all you can have). Machete attacks are common so.. ban machetes? See above. They already are banned. Doesn’t seem to make a difference when it’s not enforced, does it?

Acid attacks mean we should ban the possession of acid which is going to get awkward for car battery sales and for anyone who drives a car. Also for anyone who likes vinegar on their chips because you know our elected representatives are not going to think this through at all.

Shootings are increasing so let’s ban guns. Oh wait, we already did. We banned hard drugs too, that must have worked… didn’t it?

Sweden has regular grenade attacks and bombings now. Won’t be too long before London has them too.

My stance on immigration is simple. Anyone can come, anyone at all – but I wouldn’t pay them to come. No free stuff and no preferential treatment. You want to come and live here, fine, but you make your own way.

As for the Windrush generation, as I said, most of them were here before I was born and they were invited. The Home Office trying to deport them now is beyond shameful.

The same Home Office that welcomes back Jihadists who fought against our soldiers.

It’s a strange world when you have to look at your own government and wonder…

‘Whose side are you on?’



You have it so you were going to commit a crime with it.

Many years ago I had a butterfly knife in my fishing tackle box. If you don’t know the style, its handle is in two parts, both hinged at the blade so the handle folds over both edges of the blade. I was quite adept at flicking it open, using it and flicking it closed again. Since you held both halves of the handle when it was open it could not close on your fingers in use.

I had that style because I could open and close it one-handed while trying to deal with a line or a fish with the other hand, and because when folded, it was safe to delve your hand into the fishing box without looking.

Then they were made illegal and I couldn’t use it any more. Instead I had a lock-knife. This had a little lump on the side of the blade so you could pop it open with one hand and it would lock open. No danger of it folding on your fingers. Not as handy as the butterfly because you needed two hands to close it again (liner lock – you have to press down a spring on the back while folding the blade) but nonetheless safer than either a fixed blade or a folding non-locking one.

Then they banned those too.

I have never stabbed or cut anyone or even threatened them with a knife, yet now all I am allowed is an unsafe folding knife. I don’t think any fixed-blade knife is legal outside the home but they wouldn’t be safe in a fishing box anyway. They can slip out of the sheath when the box is moved. The non-locking folding one is safe in the box but not safe in use because it can fold onto fingers, especially those slimy from handling fish – and it needs both hands to open it.

The only knife you can carry in public in the UK is a non-locking folding penknife with a blade less than 3 inches (7.5cm) in length. Anything else and you will have to prove to a court that you had a damn good reason to have it. This applies even if you had it out of sight and didn’t even show anyone – if you are stopped and searched and it is found, you’re arrested and charged.

In the seventies, after a camping trip, I got off the train in Cardiff with an eight-inch camping knife on my belt and went shopping. Nobody even noticed. Now they’d have helicopters and armed police surrounding me. I wouldn’t have to do anything, wouldn’t even have to touch the handle of the knife. Mere possession is a crime now.

Oh, and I bought that camping knife, alone, in a shop, when I was 15. Try that now, all you teen warriors demanding ever tighter controls on your lives. By the time you get to my age you’ll need to be over 30 and have three forms of ID to buy a paper clip.

Let me reiterate. It is illegal in the UK, and has been for some time, to be in possession in public of anything bigger than a folding three-inch knife. Anything else and you need to have a good reason to be carrying it.

Do we really need more laws than that?

Well we’re going to get them.


National figures show police in England and Wales recorded a rise of a fifth in knife and gun crime in the year to September.

Right. So the answer to people committing illegal acts using things that are already illegal is not to enforce those laws, but to make new ones that make more things illegal.

I notice there is no mention in the article of a clampdown on guns. Oh wait, those are already illegal. Criminals don’t care about laws though. What to do, eh? Well, there are a lot of Americans who think gun control will end shootings, including one I came across on Twitter who describes herself in her bio as ‘open minded’ and has a banner saying ‘The NRA are a terrorist organisation’.

Actually, more vegan animal rights activists (1) than NRA members (0) have gone on shooting sprees lately so as terrorist organisations go, I’d say the NRA really haven’t got the hang of it at all.

Back to the knives. The plan is to make even more forms of knives illegal, and to make buying them online as near to impossible as they can make it. Well. That’ll have no effect at all on street stabbings.

If the stabber is over 18 they can get a knife in a local shop. If the stabber is under 18 they will simply take one from their parents’ kitchen. Making them harder to buy will do nothing at all.

You cannot buy a handgun legally in the UK but criminals seem to have no problem getting them anyway. Knives? You can make one in your shed with a hammer, file, whetstone and a piece of fencing steel! You could even make one from oak or hickory. Yeah, it won’t work for long but it doesn’t need to, does it? Actually I won’t go into any more detail on that one because it has details I don’t want to hand out to any Mr. Stabbys out there.

The problem is not knives. Especially since carrying anything bigger than a whittling penknife in public is already illegal. The problem is people stabbing each other. Nobody in Government wants to address that. Oh, we know why but they made it illegal to say it.

Soon it will be illegal to be in possession of a set of kitchen knives in public and impossible to buy them online and have them posted to you. So, if you need kitchen knives, how are you going to get them home?

I have bought whisky online. I once bought a log splitter online. The delivery courier had to check I was of legal age to have them before handing them over. If there is nobody of legal age to sign for them then they won’t deliver. So, under-18s buying knives online can only get them if an adult signs for the delivery. That’s law now. They cannot ‘sneakily order them’ because the delivery agent won’t hand them over to the kid.

It’s the same as the argument that tobacco companies ‘market to children’. It’s as ridiculous as claiming Danish Bacon ‘markets to Jews’. Why would you ‘market’ a product to a group who are not allowed to buy it?

Likewise, it does not matter how hard you market your range of bladed items, scissors or dressmaking pins to those under 18. They are not allowed to buy them. Yes, I said dressmaking pins and scissors. You can get married at 16 in this country but you can’t buy anything sharp until you are 18 so you’ll have a married life with only plastic knives and forks for your first two years and can’t hang any pictures because you can’t buy nails.

This is not ‘where we are going’. This is where we are. Now. Today. And an allegedly Conservative government under the daftest woman ever put in charge of anything is about to make it worse.

There has been a lot of talk about Corbyn’s mob of hate-filled harpies (I’ve met a few and yes, they are) and how the Labour party needs to sort itself out. The damn Tories need a purge too. They are, really, no better. Criminalising people who want to buy a bread knife online? Stating that anyone in possession of acid in public is committing a crime? What the hell do they think is in a car battery? What do they think the chemical definition of vinegar is? Are they going to arrest anyone in possession of a lemon?

Ludicrous? Of course it is. It all is. We have a ludicrous government and a ludicrous opposition. What else can you expect from them?

If someone wants to buy a bottle of sulphuric acid, that should raise a red flag. They might want it for a legitimate purpose of course, in which case they won’t mind providing ID and having the sale recorded. I have no problem giving my name and address and proving who I am when I buy a scythe blade or any of the viciously sharp items in my tool room. I really wouldn’t be happy with a random lunatic having access to those things.

If I buy dangerous chemicals or bacteria for the lab I have to prove I have a lab capable of containing them and that I am a legitimate scientist with the knowledge to safely handle these things. That is as it should be – I can, and have, bought live cultures of some seriously dangerous bacteria in the past. That should not be available to some spotty teen who wanders in off the street. Okay, they’d probably kill themselves before they killed anyone else but even so… do you want to ban all research into intestinal disease becasue the causative agents are dangerous? I bet there are some who do, you know.

The law will just say ‘acid’. Leaving a chip shop with vinegar on your chips? You are in possession of an acid in a public place.  The law they propose will get you arrested for that.

Would the police be so petty? Hahahaha! They recently revealed on Twitter the ‘weapons’ they found in a sweep in London. A butter knife, a rubber mallet and a garden fork. Derisory. No guns, machetes, Samurai swords (why is it always Samurai swords? I find the short double-edged sword much easier to handle). Not even a big camping knife. Nothing that wouldn’t be laughed at by the man in the street but would be taken very seriously by a dusty judge in one of our zombified courts.

So, imagining they are only looking for 20-molar and above concentrated and actually corrosive acids is not being real. They will arrest you for having cranberry juice. Incidentally, if you don’t know what I mean by ‘molar’, please don’t lecture me on acids.

It’s not just acids that are corrosive. Better not hand out blatant clues but getting past the ‘acid’ part and still having something deadly is not actually a problem for those of us who had a genuine education.

Finally, a lot of legitimate businesses are about to bite the dust. I bought a lot of great stuff here in the past – including the heavy hat in the top banner – and I’ll order something – anything – in the next few days to give them a little boost before the government shuts them down. They have never been linked to any crime, ever. Their only ‘crime’ is selling sharp things. Like these guys and a lot of other innocent businesses too.

Once they ban all blades online, of course, nothing will change in the World of Stabby so they’ll ban the sale of knives in the high street too. Think they won’t? Then you have not been paying attention to how this works.

I already have a peening hammer, plain hammer, files, whetstones, oilstones and a grinder in my tool room. If you don’t, then get those things now before they are banned too.

It’ll be the only way to make something to cut your tofu when you grow up, kids.

Oh, and if they still have metalwork classes in schools, take that class and pay close attention. You’re going to need it.

Better wake up in chemistry class too, if that even still exists. You might need that one.

Free speech is not a gradient

Either a country allows free speech or it does not. There is no in-between. There are no qualifiers. ‘I believe in free speech but…’ No. Stop there. You do not believe in free speech. You believe in approved speech. It is not the same thing.

Free speech means that, sometimes, people will say things you find unpleasant but there’s a way out of that. Don’t listen. Just because someone has free speech does not mean they have the right to force you to listen.

You do not have to agree. You have free speech too, you can tell the speaker exactly what you think of their opinions. And criticise their fashion sense and general hygiene at the same time.

Does this mean that we’d be bickering all the time? Well, you can if you want to. Or you can just not listen. Just walk away. Ignore the idiot. You can still filter through your own preferences by listening to the speech you agree with and ignoring the ones you don’t. You can still have that echo chamber if you want it.

Free speech means you can say whatever you want. It does not mean anyone has to listen, or agree, or publish or disseminate your speech. If you want to write a book filled with antismoker bile and Puritan crap, fine. Under real free speech you are free to do so (actually it would be approved by the current Puritan regime anyway). You do not have the right to demand Leg Iron Books publish it, nor to demand this blog even mentions it.

A couple of years back, there was a troll who insisted I was denying his ‘free speech’ because I blocked him. He was, and probably still is, incapable of understanding that being blocked here does not affect his free speech at all. He can speak all he wants, but I’m not giving him a platform. Similarly on Twitter, blocking/muting someone does not stop them speaking. It just means you’re not listening any more.

Actually, blocking on Twitter works the other way. The person you block can’t see your tweets any more. You have basically muted yourself on their timeline. It’s your own voice that is silenced by blocking. I wonder if all those Righteous Ones who mass-block pre-emptively will ever work that out?

Recently we have seen three people banned from the UK for holding right wing views. They have no history of violence, they just say things some people find uncomfortable. So our government have removed them from the country because our government are idiots. These people are not silenced – far from it. I had not even heard of them and their views before they were banned. I bet there are many people who could say the same but now the internet is abuzz with the news of this Orwellian idiocy perpetrated by, of all things, an allegedly Tory government.

Then we have all this stuff about Jezza Corbyn and his antisemitic Facebook groups. Should he be silenced for saying the things he said? No. If you have free speech it has to work both ways. If I now say ‘I believe in free speech but that kind of talk is hate speech and must be silenced’ then I would be as bad as the screaming harpies of the ‘progressive’ lunatic fringe.

I don’t say Jezza, or anyone else should be silenced. However, if there is any downside to free speech, it is this: what you say can have consequences.

If you go around saying the UK is rubbish, the IRA are the good guys, Muslim terrorists should be celebrated, all white people must die, etc, then you are basically making clear that you are totally unfit to be put in charge of anything.

This doesn’t seem to work though, does it? MPs who state that ‘white people are a problem’ are not even called out on it by their parties. MPs who support anti-Jew groups are excused. There really don’t seem to be any consequences of ‘free speech’.

That’s because we don’t have free speech in the UK. We have approved speech. And approved speakers, who can say things with impunity that the rest of us would be arrested for saying.

We certainly have non-approved speech.

Incidentally, what we have here is another of those ‘charities’ that depend on a constant client base. It is not in their interests to declare any child isn’t transgender. You take your son to them and you will bring home a daughter, and vice versa. These ‘charities’ are very dangerous groups of people and the scope of their activities now goes way beyond the ostracism of smokers and the nagging of fat people.

Note from the article that the police take their policy advice from a charity with a vested interest in keeping themselves in a job. It is no surprise that they use the police to silence dissent and criminalise wrongthink. And why not? Everyone else does.

There are those who have long referred to the UK police as ‘gestapo’ or ‘thought police’. I used to laugh that off as exaggeration. I’m not laughing now. The police do not work for the public now. That is undeniable. They are enforcers for vested interests.

If you are a champion of free speech in the UK you are not fighting to keep it. We used to have it, we don’t have it now. You are fighting to regain it.

It won’t be easy, and you can fully expect to be arrested for it. Wrongthink is a very high priority in the police now. A far higher priority than burglary, shoplifting or the mass rape of children.

You can stick to approved speech and blend in with the herd or you can stand up and say ‘I’m not going to take this any more’. If you stand up, be prepared to be knocked down and then stand up again. Otherwise, resign yourself to the cattle life.

There are many who see this but who stay silent, afraid to break ranks. Their resentment is building and this constant needling over petty things is going to make that resentment explode at some point. It can take a very long time to push the British, especially the English, to go beyond a mere disapproving look here and there. But when they do, they’ve built up such an internal rage that there will be no slow transition. No warning signs. They’ll simply explode.

It can be avoided. All it takes is for the authorities to stop acting like total dicks.

The trouble is, I don’t think they can.

Please sir, can I have a business?

The confectionery industry is preparing for the next phase of the anti-sugar Puritan onslaught. What a waste of time and money.

They have keeled over on the sugar tax rubbish and are now trying to get ready for a ban on advertising. They are doing this by throwing money at packaging so their brand will be recognised when (not, as the article optimistically says. ‘if’) advertising of anything containing sugar is banned.

Total, complete, utter, waste of time and money. The Template is in action here. Once advertising is banned it’ll be plain packaging next. All that brand recognition is wasted money. There will be no brand. Sweets will be sold in olive green packs with the sweet name in 10 point Times New Roman and with pictures of Bella Emberg’s somewhat rounded figure, Shane MacGowan’s teeth, and heart attack victim actors taking up at least half the pack. Why spend money on a brand that will be forgotten in less than one generation? Confectionery companies, you are, basically, fucked. And you brought it on yourselves.

You could have taken the BrewDog approach. You could have responded as Buckfast (Glasgee’s Finest) did when told they were irresponsible for mixing alcohol and caffeine in their tonic wine (basically, ‘see you pal, you’re gettin’ it, so y’are, and meanwhile fuck off’). No, you did the Oliver Twist (it’s not a dance, you uneducated morons of modern youth, it’s a book from the old days of actual books they used to teach us in schools in the times when education made you smarter rather than compliant) .

You confectionery companies stood in your rags and held up your bowl and said ‘Please, Mr. Unelected Gobshite, can we have a business?’

Unelected Gobshite said no. And you rolled over to get your tummies tickled. ‘Sad’ is far too small a word. You think of yourselves as powerful businessmen but honestly, inside that expensive tailored suit, is there anything at all? Is it just full of smug money-love? Is there not a trace of the courage and conviction of the entrepreneurs of old? It seems not. Empty suits. Stuffed with cash soon to be sucked away by the Puritans you pander to.

The flipside of course is the silly Left argument that business controls government. Really? These cowering piles of weasel shit can’t stand up to stomping self-important arseholes, never mind actually-elected lawmakers. When Government ministers cave to these simpering woodlice then we had better think long and hard at the next election. Maybe next time we should elect someone a bit further up the food chain. Perhaps a wasp would be a good option.


You know, I don’t really have a dog in this fight. To paraphrase the old rhyme:

First they came for the smokers,
and I’m a smoker,
and nobody spoke out when they came for me and they still don’t,
so frankly, bollocks to the rest of you.

You face a future where every shop front is olive drab green with warnings and graphic made up gore all over it. Even fruit has sugar in it so that will be sprayed drab too. You think they are going to stop with sweets? You are honestly pitiful if you believe that.

Did you think they would stop with booze?

Did you think they would stop with tobacco?

Did you vapers think you had got away? Oh your attempts to ally with the haters was so funny. We still-smokers are still laughing at that and a few of you are still doing it. Keeps us entertained.

It never stops and never will.

Because when they came for me and nobody spoke out for me, when they came for my smoking and drinking and food choices, you Puritan-lovers supported it all. Because of you, it will not stop. You did this. Revel in it. Enjoy hating me and dehumanising me. I’ve grown used to it. You’re on the list too. How will you deal with it? It’s easy but I’m not telling you. Remember, I was the first line of the rhyme. You bastards in the end lines are on your own.

When they come for you, don’t you dare ask me to speak out for you. I will not.

You can only stop it by stopping it all. Leave one thing for them to latch on to and it all starts again. Defund all of it. ALL of it, or learn to live in an olive drab world where you live exactly as directed.

Let’s play a game.

Live in a world where some people do things you personally don’t like, but you can avoid those people who do those things, or live in a world where there is no choice at all and everything, including things you like, are banned. A world of diversity or a world of grey conformity.

Make your choice.

Your time is short.

The abyss beckons

Another school shooting in America. Why? Humans don’t live very long anyway, why are we so intent on making it shorter?

This is once again an argument for gun control. I’ve never owned a proper gun and don’t want to. I used to have airguns (called BB guns in the US I believe) but sold the rifle when it was clear that Scotland wanted to bring in licencing for these toys. They did. It now costs £25 a year for an airgun licence and mine only cost me £30 so it wouldn’t have been worth keeping and licencing. My son took the rest to hand in – including the toy ones that shot plastic BBs that wouldn’t penetrate paper. Anything air powered needs a licence in Scotland now.

That’s because Scotland’s new terror of guns includes plastic toy ones. Does America really want to take this road? I sold my crossbows too because Scotland will ban those next.

Our UK ban on handguns (you can still get a shotgun or hunting rifle if you want to go through all the hoops) came in after Dunblane. That was a school shooting, a loony who should have had his guns confiscated long before but was allowed to keep them. He shot a lot of children and teachers and hey presto – one man going nuts meant that nobody in the UK is allowed a pistol.

Well, as I said, I never had one and never wanted one. So it made no difference to me, right? Wrong.

Before the ban, anyone thinking about breaking into my house had to factor in that I might have a gun. They don’t have to worry about that any more. And people get shot in the UK still. The criminals’ guns weren’t legal before the ban so it made no difference to them.

Still, having no gun meant I learned other things. Archery isn’t much use in a home invasion. I’d have to assemble the bow first and the long arrows would limit where I could use them. But I’m pretty good with a throwing knife and can swing a sledgehammer in one hand and a long handled axe in the other. The past year of chopping wood and splitting logs has made me a lot better with that. I’m not defenceless.

I watch with interest the attacks on the NRA (The American national rifle association) as if they are the sole purveyor of guns. None of their members have been involved in any of the gun attacks. Shutting them down will do nothing to stop these attacks, but it will help the anti-gun fanatics to disarm the American people. Then they can be controlled so much more easily. Just ask Hitler, Pol Pot and all the other totalitarians who started by disarming any possible opposition.

Dodgy guns are available anywhere, in any country. As is dodgy anything else. Muslim countries who have entirely banned alcohol have problems with people drinking rough hooch and getting hospitalised or dying. You cannot stop people getting what they want if they want it enough. You can ban drugs and everyone will stop trying cocaine or heroin? Really? Does that work? Of course not. They just turn to ‘other sources’ and it doesn’t go well.

Norway, I am told, is delighted that its massive taxes on booze have cut down booze sales. Sugar sales are booming. They are brewing their own unregulated booze. It’s not hard. Get the right fruit and you don’t even need sugar and you’ll get brownie points from the health police for buying so much fruit. It does not matter what you put in the way, humans will always find a way around.

It’s not hard to make a gun either. I’ve seen articles on 3D-printing a gun. It’s a fairly primitive device really and a plastic one won’t show up on metal detectors. It might only be good for one shot but close enough and that’s all you need. Do we really want to encourage that?

Guns will disappear naturally in time. As soon as we find a better way to kill each other. You can ban that too if you want. Those who ignore the law won’t care.

There was an SF series of books based around ‘The Weapon Shops of Isher’ where a disarmed society was served by a clever underground weapon shop system. This is exactly where we are headed.

There seem to be a lot of school shootings in America. This is because schools are gun-free zones. The shooter knows there will be no resistance. Nobody else has a gun. These loons still have enough brain cells to know that if they tried it in a police station they wouldn’t get more than a couple of shots before they were dead.  The lesson is – don’t let loonies have guns and pay attention when they are repeatedly reported for their looniness. Then again, the best way to get a gun ban is to let the loonies loose with guns. It worked in the UK…

One little observation. Democrats in America refer to Trump as ‘literally Hitler’ and as some kind of oppressive dictator. Then they want the population to give up all their guns so only the government (led by Literally Hitler) will have guns. I don’t know about you but something seems a bit off here. A bit of sitting and thinking is in order, I’d say.

If Trump really is ‘literally Hitler’ he’ll want to disarm the population of America. He’s smart though, so he might let the Democrats do it and take the blame for it if he really wants that. I don’t think he does, but then he might be smarter than I give him credit for. Getting your opponents to do the dirty work would be a killer move – literally. I’m really hoping Trump isn’t playing that game but if he is, he’s playing it masterfully.

You will have no guns and then you will face an influx of immigrants who are determined to turn your country into the desolate hole they came from. No, they are not refugees. Refugees are not all men who leave their families behind in what they claim is Hell. Men who would do that cannot claim to be men.

They are an invasion force. An invited invasion. Look at the state of Sweden, France and Germany now. Do you want that, America? Really?

Look into the abyss. Look really deeply and pay attention to it. It’s been looking at you for quite some time now.

It’s coming.

Votes at 16

In Aldi today (they have a nice little circular saw this week, small enough to swing around and pretend you’re in the Texas Circular Saw Massacre while culturally appropriating your most recent victim’s face) there was a sign above one of the products.

You must be 18 to purchase this item.

It wasn’t above the circular saw. Nor the power drills, not even above the gas powered portable heater. Which, in the wrong hands, could be an especially vicious weapon. It’s probably a good thing I didn’t buy one of those. But then I used my gadget budget on the circular saw.

The sign was nowhere near those things. It was above a box of cutlery.

These weren’t carving knives or cleavers. They weren’t razor sharp ceramic knives. Table cutlery. Eating irons. The knife and fork you eat with. The knife that is usually not all that sharp because it doesn’t have to chop or carve, it’s dealing with cooked food. You have to be over 18 to buy it, along with the forks and spoons in the box.

Look, if some young thug wants a knife to attack people with, he, she or it is not going to buy a box of blunt knives that comes with forks and assorted spoons. He’s more likely to lift one from his mum’s kitchen drawer.

Our politicians and other assorted mindless control freaks now believe you are mature enough to shape your country’s future at 16 but far too young to set the table. This is before we touch on smoking and drinking and every other absurdity out there.

Quick digression – today I found a new whisky I hadn’t tried before . A vatted malt called Copper Dog. It’s very nice but if you’re 16 you can’t have it. You are only mature enough to make decisions affecting everyone in your country, you are still too much of a child to take control of your own life.

Look at porn. Not now, wait until after the blog post. You have to be 18 to view porn but you can get married at 16 and fumble about for two years because you can’t see the instructions yet. You will get sex education from the age of 5 now but you aren’t allowed to do anything about it until you are 16 and you can’t watch anyone else do it until you are 18. Apart from the instruction videos you were shown at 5 years old – after that you are magically a child again and you must forget that you were once mature enough to view sex videos. Also you have to keep teacher’s special secret  😉

Testicular cancer is something that mostly affects men. Specifically young men. Us oldies are familiar enough with those bits that we’d notice an extra hair, never mind a lump. And it can be hard to check because, as Dylan Moran once said, you’re looking for a lump in a bag of lumps.

The risk period starts at age 15. There are videos that show you how to check your plum sack but you aren’t allowed to see them until you are 18. So if you have testicular cancer at 15 you’ll be dead or castrated before you are old enough to know how to check for it. But hey, you’re old enough to vote at 16. You’re just not old enough to be shown how to prevent your early death. Given the choice, kids, which of those – voting or the cancer check method – would you like to have available to you at 16?

There are moves to raise the age for smoking to 21 and beyond. Signs in supermarkets tell cashiers to ‘Think 25’ when deciding whether to ask you for booze-ID to prove you are 18. Recently, Experts have Said and Studies have Shown that you are not an adult until at least 23 years old. “They grow up so fast” is a phrase for a bygone era. Soon it will be “When is this idle fucker going to grow up?”

Only a few years ago, the legal age for smoking was 16 – except it wasn’t. That was the legal age for being able to buy cigarettes. As with booze, which you can buy at 18 at the moment, there is no legal age for using the product. You can give a beer to your 10-year-old and you’re not breaking any laws – although if the prodnoses find out you will get reported and investigated for ‘child abuse’. Not for ‘giving booze to a minor’. Unless it’s someone else’s kid, that’s not illegal.

16-year-olds are not prosecuted for smoking because that isn’t illegal. Shops are prosecuted for selling to under 18’s. That is the part that is illegal. The lines have been cleverly blurred.

In the 1960s there were no age restrictions on buying cigarettes. My brother and I were routinely sent to the shop to get Dad his pack of ten and we could get sweets with the change. We could have bought ourselves cigarettes and matches if we wanted. We didn’t. We could buy sweets though, which is another thing frowned upon now.

I was buying fireworks at age 10. Nobody minded. That whole ‘don’t put a banger in a bottle because it will explode in a shower of glass’ thing? It didn’t work. The banger in a cowpat was much more fun.

I’d buy whole packs of boxes of matches for explosive experiments at age 15 or so. Nobody thought twice about it. I could have bought cigarettes if I’d felt the urge then. I was already frequenting pubs at 16. That wasn’t technically legal but as long as we didn’t cause any trouble, nobody minded.

Now, if you want to buy cutlery you have to be 18. You can marry at 16, join the army before you’re 17, but you can’t buy a fork until you’re 18. If you do marry that early you’d better have cutlery and other kitchen knives on the wedding gift list or you’ll be ripping that roast chicken apart with your fingers.

At around age 11/12 I was taking woodwork lessons at school. Saws, chisels, spokeshaves… and those things are no use unless they are properly sharp. Metalwork class, we brazed, forged, tempered, cast, hammered, lathed and used something called a shaper that if you leaned a tiny bit too far forward, would smash your brains out.

We were old enough to handle all those things. There were no major incidents. Everybody survived. But should we have had the vote at 16? Of course not, that would have been dangerously insane.

Most of the kids that age had no interest in politics. My group of friends were so right wing that the centrists couldn’t see us. We would have installed a monarchic empire run from a small central cardre and the rest of the world could deal with its own problems. Actually we probably wouldn’t have taxed very much, just enough to keep us supplied with things that go bang and plenty of sharp stuff. No need for private jets, we aren’t bothering to go around giving speeches. Dissent would have been quashed with extreme and very public prejudice but basically, don’t piss off the bosses and you can do pretty much as you please.

Would you really have wanted me to vote when I was 16? I know it’s the Socialists who want this because they think all 16 year olds are socialist but it’s an idea that could backfire very badly indeed. The socialist teens are vocal but the other side are not and never were. See, teens are not all socialist. The ones even slightly interested in politics are, however, all extremist. And, despite the left’s imagination, not all of them are extreme left.

I had mellowed by the time I was 18 but I have never voted Labour, despite growing up on a council estate in Wales in a Labour-voting family based on the mining industry. I have occasionally voted Tory but only when I don’t expect them to win. Usually I pick someone based on them having policies I like. I am not interested in party politics. I don’t join gangs.

Modern 16-year-olds are not allowed to do most of the things I did at that age. Off into the woods with a box of bangers and some bottles. Buying a whole load of matches. Buying camping knives that would make Jim Bowie jealous. Becoming a pub regular. Playing around with all sorts of red hot steel, molten aluminium and very sharp tools and dangerous machines. Buying explosives components in hardware shops and chemist shops. At home, sharp modelling knives and soldering irons. Oh yes, and I was playing with mains electricity too. Building my own railway controllers in old biscuit tins…

They can’t do any of that now. Childhood is now extended to age 23 and keeps going up. I had learned not to damage myself and how to handle dangerous things by the age of 16 and the one thing I would never have trusted my 16-year-old self to do was to vote.

And yet now, with all those things pushed away past the age where they would be most fun, with childhood extended to 20-odd year olds in onesies, drinking milky coffee from sippy cups, we are to let 16-year-olds vote.

The Left thinks all those 16-year-olds will vote for them.

How about all those thousands of girls groomed and gang raped by the people Labour demanded have special status, while Labour ignored – and continues to belittle and scoff at – those crimes?

How about their brothers and sisters, many of whom are now over 16?

Who would they vote for, I wonder?

If they succeed in giving 16 year olds the vote, I have a feeling it might not go the way they think it will.

But then, nothing else they do has gone as they planned, has it?


Lunacy and Nazis

It’s been a very long time since I last made a model aeroplane. I made them as a youngster, lots of them. I made them for my son until he grew old enough to make them himself – and his interests tended more towards helicopters than aeroplanes. As for me, I always had a soft spot for the weird designs.

Oh I made Concorde when I was about eight (a disappointing kit – hardly any parts!) and I made airliners and of course Spitfires and Hurricanes and Mustangs and Kittyhawks, along with Me109 and FW-190 for them to fight with.

Then I discovered the Dornier stable. Holy crap. I couldn’t believe anyone even tried to fly some of those monstrosities. Weird planes became The Thing. And yet that phase faded away about forty years ago, apart from a brief revival when my son was little. I don’t think I’ve made a model plane in the last 20 years, probably more.

Railways, trucks, ships… those were my main staples. Ships especially. The kits are expensive but they take months to finish so you get your money’s worth. The only trouble is finding somewhere to put the damn things afterwards. They’re not as easy to give away as you’d think. The thing about models is… the fun is in making them. Apart from the motorised ones such as trains, the static model building fun is in going that extra mile. Adding brake pipes to trucks and so on. Once the model is finished it’s just in the way.

Back to somewhere near the point. One thing I had a model of in my early teens was a Messerschmidt. Well, several. In fact one is still around here somewhere – the Me262 I painted up to look like the cover of Blue Oystercult’s ‘Secret Treaties’ album. The odd one though, was the Me 163, also called ‘Komet’. I saw a kit recently, cheap, so I thought I’d see if I still have it in me as an aeromodeller.

I’ll get a better photo when it’s finished. This has a day or so to go to completion yet.

This is a particularly odd one. Second world war German interceptor/fighter with a few twists. See those wheels under it? It ditched those on takeoff. It didn’t retract them. It retracted that ski they’re sitting on when in flight. Landing, the pilot had that ski and the tail wheel and that was it. Falling over was a real issue.

The model will get a tiny silver propeller on the front end. That’s not what drove it, I think it was a speed measuring thing. What drove this was a rocket engine. Not a jet. A rocket.

Powered by hydrogen peroxide.

Oh yes. Fly this and you are sitting on a bomb. Land with any fuel in your tanks (they were meant to glide in to land) and there’s a good chance of boom. The slightest spark when fuelling, another good chance of boom. And hydrogen peroxide in rocket fuel form, well, a good chance of boom just because it feels like it.

I think, if I had been a German pilot in one of these, I’d have been glad of the brown seat if i saw any tracer flying around.

Anyway, it’s a fun little kit. I found my paint collection wasn’t really aeroplane friendly these days so, thanks to CStM, the blue underside is nail polish. Actually it works rather well but you can’t hang around – it dries fast.

Something was bothering me though, something about the decals supplied. Oh there were the Luftwaffe wing crosses and the little warning signs and so on but there were a few odd ones too. Have a look…

The ones marked ‘4’ are the ones that confused me. I knew the WWII German Wehrmacht and especially SS divisions used runes on their vehicles because I used to play wargaming using actual models as a teenager – but I couldn’t recall ever seeing them on aeroplanes  Also they don’t look like any rune I recognise. It took a while to work it out.

Decal 4 goes on the tail, as per instruction sheet…

Yes, they give British markings even though we didn’t have any and nobody paints the underside of a plane orange. Maybe we captured some when we smacked Merkel’s ancestors’ arses but I never heard of us trying to fly any of them. I suspect any British pilot would take one look and say ‘Fark arf, I’ll take a week in the brig before I sit on top of that farking firework’. That, however, is just the start of the political correctness. Look again at that tail image. See the white triangle? It was never there.

Now take a look at something I didn’t notice on the box cover until later. Look at what’s on the tail.

It’s not easy to see but what’s on the tail is a black square, corners pointing up and down. On the front of the instruction sheet is this image –

This time, the tail insignia is a scribbled-out blob.

If you ever made German warplane models as a kid, you know what the insignia on the tail is. They all had it. It’s part of history. It was real, it happened, accurate history demands accuracy.

It’s a swastika. Decal 4 is half-swastikas. All the planes had them because Germany at that time was run by real Nazis, led by the original Literally Hitler.

Yes. A symbol with unpleasant connotations – but as kids, in the 60s and 70s, our parents and grandparents had no problem with us seeing those  symbols. They told us what they meant, and how to avoid it happening again. Young kids making this model now will not know that it’s two halves of a symbol. They won’t know how to finish the model with historical accuracy.

So when the next swastika wielding yobs arise, our children and grandchildren will not recognise what they are. Is that intentional?

Or have we become so weak that we cannot accept a thing from the past because it’s just too scary? Really? Will we ban Tyrannosaurus Rex models because they’re scary even though they were dead before any of our ancestors were born? You know, I wouldn’t be at all surprised.

The Church of Climatology insist we must Save Humanity (which involves giving them money and Unquestioning Belief or the world will end, but it’s not a religion) and I say…


What the fuck use are the modern human race? They’re just going to whine themselves into extinction anyway. So the world warms up and CO2 increases. The world will have jungles again. All the forests we cleared will grow back, We just won’t be here to see it and complain about it. Let the fuckers die. If that is the future of humanity, so scared of a symbol that they can’t even face it even though it’s from almost 80 years ago, let them die out. They are only getting worse.

If the dinosaurs were wiped out by an asteroid, they went with a bang. A future Cockroach Society will remember our species as the one that went out with a whimper and a plea for more benefits.

I should mention that during one of my dinner table rants, my son said ‘If everyone died tomorrow you’d complain they died in your way’ and he was right. They would. No damn consideration, that’s the trouble with people nowadays.

Oh I expect to get some rage back for this and I fully expect it to come from the same place as ‘all white people must die’. I’m not racist. I’d kill you all if I had a button to do it. Somewhere I do have the 10 ohm 500 watt resistor to finish it, I’ll let you know when I find it. Oh wait – you’ll know.

When the human race is over, nobody won but everyone gets a prize. That is where it is headed. Can we turn it back? Can we get back to sense and reality? Well, we have 57 varieties of gender now. We have people insisting that the word ‘negro’ on Spanish (it means black) must be changed because it is racist. If I was Spain I would change it to ‘arsebasket’ or ‘jizzmonkey’ or best of all, ‘progessive-liberal-fuckwit’.

Honestly. Languages the SJWs don’t even speak have to change to fit their agenda. While they insist illegal Mexican immigrants to the USA are respected. Who speak – gasp – Spanish!

Oh dear.

California (where else?) wants to declare caffeine a carcinogen while demanding unclean water to drink.

Then they will tell you about the seven million deadly chemicals in your latte then declare caffeine an addiction. See where it goes from here? Smokers do. You shat on us and loved it. Have fun with the same shit now

You know, one thing about history is that it stops us doing the same stupid things again. Like drinking untreated water. But, who would be so stupid? Oh. Californians.

Most of California is trying to be a separate state. I have never set foot in the USA but I can see their point.

You know, all this hate, all this division, it’s been done before. Most recently under the swastika the progressives claim to hate. Now you don’t get a decal, you get a dare. Will you do it?

I will

I remember the tales of what Nazi actaully means,

Do you?