The Black Bond

It has been suggested that Idris Elba could be the next James Bond. Cue Outrage! He’s (gasp) black! How can he be James Bond?

James Bond is a fictional character. To me, that is very very different from casting historical figures with actors of a different race than the original. The latter is messing around with history and distorting facts. It puts the wrong image of the past in the heads of people who have never studied history – and that’s most people.

The former is… well, a fictional character. A well written fictional character can look any way you want.

I deliberately don’t specify race in my stories unless it is crucial to the storyline. When I wrote Romulus Crowe in ‘Samuel’s Girl’ I imagined a haughty, arrogant Englishman and I ‘saw’ him as a white man but I deliberately did not specify that.

Why? Because it was not relevant to the story and because I wanted as wide an audience as possible.

Readers like to imagine scenes in their heads and it’s far easier to do that if the story characters are not too rigidly defined. You get to make up your own images based on your own experiences of life and you feel more engaged with the story.

In ‘Jessica’s Trap’ it was different. The story was set in 1647 in England, so a black or Indian or Chinese cast of characters really won’t work. ‘Samuel’s Girl’ is in the present day, again in England, and that means Romulus Crowe can be played by anyone.

I would prefer that he be played by the same person, or at least by actors of the same ethnicity in that and later stories (assuming Hollywood can get its hands out of kiddie’s pants long enough to notice the story exists) precisely because of the fuss over Idris Eba possibly taking the Bond role now.

It’s the same as making the latest incarnation of Dr. Who a woman. There is nothing intrinsically wrong with doing that. It’s a fictional universe. Do what the hell you want. However, having watched the show from the very beginning, it is a sudden and jarring change for me. It’s going to take some getting used to.

I still haven’t seen a Dr. Who to beat William Hartnell’s grouchy, devious old curmudgeon. And the daft casting after Tom Baker left just got sillier until they gave the job to Sylveste McCoy – who most of the fans at that time remembered from ‘Vision On’. He dressed in a suit covered in question marks and looked even more like a clown than the previous incumbent, Colin Baker. So give this woman Dr. a chance, I say. She can’t be worse than those two.

Incidentally, I never understood all this ‘hide behind the sofa when the Daleks come on’ stuff. I thought they were great. It was the Autons that scared the shit out of me.

If the Romulus stories ever made it to film, I’d want the same actor, or at least the same ethnicity of actor, to play him throughout. Making him Chinese in one film, Asian in another, white in another, is going to put people off. He’s just a bloke. He’s not a Time Lord, he can’t regenerate.

So it is with James Bond. A fictional character. Could look like anyone. Might look like Sean Connery. Or Roger Moore. Or Timothy Dalton or David Niven… there have been a lot of different faces in that role. All of them white. They are all playing a fictional character though, not a historic one.

The Bond storyline has Bond often meeting up with his contact in the CIA, Felix. Felix changes in every film and (I can’t recall which film) in at least one of them, Felix was played by a black actor. So if it’s good enough for the CIA, it’s good enough for MI5, right?

I would be very much opposed to recasting James Bond as Jane Bond. Really, just because it’s extremely silly. If you want a story about a female spy with access to all kinds of gadgets and who has dozy males with names like Donkey Dick, Clint Torisrubber, Gee Spotfinder and Hugh Jeballs jumping into bed with her all through the film, fine, go ahead. But don’t pretend it’s a James Bond story because it’s not.

A character like Dr. Who, who rewrites their entire body every time they regenerate, can change gender in the process. Even in that storyline it was a stretch but it’s plausible within that storyline’s universe. It is not plausible in a story where the characters are human. If you try it you lose your regular audience and they are the ones who pay your bills. Appeasing the SJWs is going to put you out of business fast.

I don’t really see any reason why James Bond could not be black. I’m willing to bet that MI5 is not a totally white organisation. It would be very limited in scope if it was. James Bond is set in the present day – in fact, judging by the level of gadgetry available, possibly a bit into the future. That means he could be absolutely anyone.

The major reason there is such resistance to a black actor playing the part is the recent trend by many – especially the BBC – to cast black actors in historic roles when the person they are playing was whiter than a sheet of printer paper. Doing that is bound to get people’s backs up. It is, no matter how the SJW idiots try to justify it, messing with history and when you lose your history, who are you? You cease to exist. You have no roots any more.

Speaking of ‘roots’, how would the SJWs react if we remade that programme using a white actor? A white woman, no less? I think we all know the answer.

Bond is not a historical figure. He’s text on a page. Fiction. Who plays Joan of Arc or Boadicea or Margaret of Anjou – that matters. Who plays a fictional character does not matter.

It’s going to be a bit jarring for Bond fans but only because they are used to a succession of white actors in the role. They got over the idea of that white face changing many times though, so Idris Elba is really just another different face of Bond. Just so happens this face is a little darker than the previous ones.

As I said with the Romulus character – and I doubt I’ll ever have to really face the idea of it being a film – I would prefer to stick with the one they start with. If they start with him as Korean, stick with it. The reaction to a black James Bond shows how fans react to change. They don’t like it.

It’s not because they are racist. If a remake of Roots had Johnny Depp cast as Kunta Kinte then black people would be up in arms and I’d agree with them. That show is based on history. But what if you remade Black Panther as ‘Somewhat Pale Panther’ with a load of white actors? There’d be outrage again and I’d shrug and turn away. That story is fiction. I don’t care how you interpret it, none of it is real and none of it really happened.

Fans of a franchise don’t like big changes. Every new incarnation of Dr. Who had to work hard to recover the support of the fans of the previous one. The latest incarnation is going to have to work harder than ever.

Idris Elba would have to work a lot harder to regain James Bond fans than Roger Moore had to when he took over from Sean Connery. It would be a bigger change. I think he can do it though.

In the end, it’s fiction. It doesn’t matter. There’s no point getting all high-blood-pressure over people who don’t exist and never have.

Save your rage for the rewriting of real history. That’s the part that matters.

 

Wales, the next target of the New Puritans

The Welsh Assemblage of Useless Authoritarian Wasters has introduced minimum pricing for alcohol. What a total and utter waste of time, as much of a waste of time as the Assemblage itself.

You know, when the Blair Witch decided to go ahead with devolution, Scotland’s vote was pretty decisive. They wanted their own parliament who are now hitting them hard for smoking and drinking and eating – and taxing them more to pay for more control over them. Still, that’s what they wanted. They voted for it.

The vote in Wales returned a resounding ‘don’t care’ because that is the Welsh way. The Welsh have never cared who is in charge, for the most part, because they aren’t going to pay any attention to who is in charge anyway. Plaid Cymru do well not because of their policies but because they have a Welsh party name. They can get into positions of power but have never grasped that the bulk of Wales doesn’t give a shit.

There is a place called Treherbert. I went there once. I spent most of my early life living mere miles from it and went there only once. It was enough  A tiny place at the end of the railway line, it is nestled in a deep valley between high mountains and sees very little of that strange yellow circle in the sky, even in summer. If you are ever looking for the legendary Caer Colur (the gloomy enclosure) I’d recommend starting there.

Some years ago there was a news story about Treherbert. The name got my attention at once. Something newsworthy happened in Treherbert? What could it be? Dalek invasion? Secret lair of Blofeld? Someone dropped a spoon?

A guy in a council house was making his own vodka when his still exploded in a most spectacular fashion. Apparently – and this came as a surprise – he wasn’t breaking any laws because it was all for his own use. He did not intend to sell any.

Hmm. I live on a farm that grows barley specifically intended for the whisky industry. I could probably buy a tonne at cost price. But let’s not get distracted by my hobbies.

The point is, even years ago there were home stills when cheap supermarket booze was available. In the 1979-1982 years of my first degree there were dedicated homebrew shops everywhere. They started reappearing in Scotland (not dedicated shops but homebrew sections in other small shops) even before the minimum pricing nonsense started here.

In my early teens you could buy homebrew kits in supermarkets and since they had no alcohol in them as sold, they were not subject to age restrictions. It was just syrupy malt and a packet of yeast. I see those making a big comeback soon.

I have a friend in Wales who will care nothing for this minimum pricing nonsense. He has a large garden full of fruit trees and they all get turned into wine. His blackcurrant wine is particularly good. So he doesn’t actually buy much commercial booze.

Look at other countries. Iran has a total booze ban for religious reasons. You are not even allowed an alcohol based mouthwash. So what happens? Stories of weddings ruined because of dodgy black market booze poisoning everyone.

Norway has horrific alcohol pricing and you can only get a limited amount from State booze stores. The result? Alcohol purchases in Norway have plummeted. Success? Sales of raw sugar have soared. What do you imagine is happening there?

Alcohol is really easy to make. Making it safe to drink is not quite so easy. Promoting an unregulated black market is never a good idea. But then, when was the last time any politician had a good idea?

Scotland’s minimum pricing might have worked maybe 20 years ago. It’s a long way from Aberdeen to the border and I’m north of Aberdeen. Driving down for a case of whisky is not cost-effective and would be a tough one to do in one day. Scotland is narrow but pretty damn long. But hey, we have internet now so I can order booze from English suppliers and it’s not subject to minimum pricing.

Today I was at the dentist for my half-year teeth count. Nothing wrong with me, she even took X-rays in a desperate attempt to find something wrong with this smoky-drinking curmudgeon. Little side observation – are all dentists small women now? I’m not objecting, I don’t mind at all, it’s just that there seem to be no male members of staff at all in that place.

Afterwards I passed the whisky shop, so I called in and treated myself to a bottle of Shackleton. I hadn’t seen it before. A malt blend based on the whisky taken on the 1907 Antarctic expedition. The whisky shop is never cheap, the more common ones are much cheaper in the supermarket but this place is where you find the unusual ones. It’s a great shop. When I win the lottery I’m going to try the high shelves with the ‘Oh fucking hell’ prices.

Wales is, frankly, tiny. It’s also vertically narrow with the English border on the east side so none of it is very far from a day-trip over the border. Get a few friends together, hire a minibus and stock up. Easy. It’s going to happen. So who will this new law damage? Well, corner shops mostly, small businesses, a small effect on the likes of Aldi and Lidl but alkies? Nah. It will be of great benefit to the English economy to the detriment of both Wales and Scotland. You know, guys, you voted in some utter fuckheads to run your devolved administrations – but then, who but an utter fuckhead wants a job that’s all about controlling their own countrymen and making their lives harder and more miserable?

What will also happen is homebrew and also criminal gangs filling the gap for those who can’t afford van hire or homebrew equipment. All of it totally unregulated and all of it free of any care about age limits. What a great idea, eh? No wonder government buildings have so many big windows.They need room for everyone to get a lick.

You know, more and more often these days, I’m thinking November 5th should be a day of national rejoicing in the UK. We should not be burning Guy Fawkes in effigy. We should be hailing him. He had the right idea.

At least he tried.

 

Ban the Banned

Suzi Quatro could have done something brilliant with this title.

Our Ruddy Home Secretary has decided to ban ‘zombie knives’. Take a look at what she wants to ban.

Three throwing knives, useless in unpracticed hands. They are fixed blade so are already illegal to cary. Already banned.

Some stupidly thin wobbly-edged blade that you could probaby bend in half with your hands. Still, it’s long and half-sharp and illegal to carry in public. Already banned.

An axe shaped so as to be pretty much useless and again, too thin to be practical. Also illegal to carry in public anyway, as are all axes unless you’re off to chop some wood. Already banned.

A lurid green version of a liner-lock knife. Used to be common but it’s now illegal to have a lock knife in public. Already banned.

Finally, at the bottom, some kind of fishing implement I think. It has no purpose other than slashing and is the most non-excusable offensive weapon of the lot. Even before all the other things were banned, I’d bet you’d have been arrested for having that. Anyway, it’s definitely already banned.

Look again at those ‘weapons’. The throwing knives are dangerous if you can use them. The liner-lock is dangerous in the wrong hands. The fishing thing is an obvious weapon. It has no other use. Except maybe for clearing weeds from between patio slabs but it doesn’t look like it would be very good at that. A crack hoe would do a better job.

The axe is a useless toy. It’s far too thin and light for any practical application and even as a weapon it’s not going to do what a cheap splitting or garden cutting axe would do. As for the ‘sword’, come at me with that and I’ll beat you with a broom. It’s pressed steel sheet. That’s why you can buy these things for under £10. They are crap. Sharpened at the front half only and it won’t hold an edge. It’s cheap soft steel. The sharpened bit has non-sharp notches cut into it for no reason at all. It is all just for show. I wouldn’t accept one as a gift, never mind buy it. If gang members are really bragging they have these, they are a laughing stock.

These ‘zombie weapons’ are ornamental toys. I have some ornamental swords that look really impressive but if you try to use them in a real fight, the blade is likely to come off the handle. You grab one of those. I’ll grab the kitchen chopping knives. I will win.

Nobody, as far as I can see in the news, has ever used one of these toys in a real attack. Nevertheless, carrying any of them in public is already illegal and frankly, why would you? Aside from the lock knife, none of them have any practical use and none of them are any use in self defence either. The whole ‘zombie knife’ shit is just an excuse to disarm us more.

On June 1, 2018, footage emerged of a cyclist using a zombie knife to try and smash the window of a car in an apparent road rage row.

That was not a ‘zombie knife’. That was a real and very dangerous big knife. What they propose to ban has nothing to do with that already fucking illegal massive knife. It’s just an excuse.

A long list of dangerous weapons that glamorise violence will also be included in the total ban, putting them on the same legal footing as unlicensed firearms.
They include sword sticks, butterfly knives and blowpipes, as well as a range of martial arts weapons such as deathstars and handclaws.

Sword sticks and butterfly knives have been banned in the UK for many years. I used to use a site called Blades-UK which dropped those from its listings 20 or more years ago. Because they were no longer legal to sell. Yeah. Already banned. Pity I missed out, I’d have liked a butterfly knife.

Deathstars and handclaws come under ‘fixed blade knives’ and are already illegal. I know nothing of blowpipes but I bet they aren’t hard to make.

Our Ruddy Home Secretary wants to make it illegal to have anything sharp at home, whether you take it on the street or not.

I mean, come on. I have a scythe. In this garden, in summer, I need it. It has a grass blade and a ditch blade for the wooded parts. I have oilstones and whetstones and a peening kit. Grinding wheels and files. I have the means to make a tyre iron sharp. And we are to be scared of lurid green toys?

What this country needs is not more bans.

What this country needs is a government that is not entirely populated by idiots.

Yeah. Not happening, is it?

Tobacco, the wonder plant

As suggested by Smoking Scot in comments, here is Nisakiman’s elegant idea for a ‘smokers welcome here’ image:

It comes from an idea a long time ago which I seem to recall was started by either Frank Davis or Junican. I’d like to be more specific but I’m afraid I was very, very drunk at the time. I’d actually written two of the stories in the latest Underdog Anthology around that time and entirely forgotten about them… yeah, pretty drunk.

Tobacco is currently villified by the Righteous and their indoctinated dancing clowns of hate but the original inhabitants of America (is that the latest PC term? Please forgive me for not caring) knew a lot more about this plant. They used it for more than just a sly puff at the back of the wigwam sheds.

Modern science has been gradually catching up. Well, the discovery of vitamin B3, Niacin, aka nicotinic acid, and its derivation from nicotine happened a long time ago. There is much more though.

Tipped by Sam in email – Tobacco flowers have a yeast-killer in them.

I had seen this go by on Twitter along with another claim that tobacco may have anti-cancer properties (now there’s a twist, eh?) but no antismoker worth their bile would accept a cancer treatment that came from the tobacco plant, naturally.

This yeast-killing antibiotic (the term is usually used to mean an antibacterial in my world but we’ll let that slide) is vey interesting. It works on Candida albicans, a ‘mostly harmless’ yeast that can still cause thrush and other, not necessarily fatal but really annoying infections. I wonder if it works on other yeast/fungi? Athlete’s foot is really hard to permanently dispose of. Ringworm is an evil fucker and there is speculation (not proof) that seborrhaic dermatitis has a yeast as a causative agent. They are all hard or impossible to cure at  the moment. Should we rub some tobacco flowers on it and see?

The article talks about the ornamental versions of Nicotiana but you know they have to be so, so careful these days. Ornamental tobacco is no use for smoking but as with all these domesticated things it’s a toned down, weaker version of the wild one that has to survive with no watering or plant food or weeding or pest control.

I’m betting real tobacco flowers are way more effective than the domesticated, pampered ones. These plants are quite capable of looking after themselves. In many ways.

Tobacco has multiple medicinal properties. Who knew? Pretty much everyone before the white man’s Puritan horde decided they didn’t like it. Hating tobacco is racist now. There’s one to have fun with.

I look forward to the first tales of antismokers refusing niacin, the new anttfungals and the new anticancer drugs because they come from tobacco. You can watch them suffer and die while watching me not care.

They have no sympathy for me. Expect none in return.

Gammon, Amazon and a favour

It seems I am now a ‘gammon’, a middle aged straight white man who voted ‘leave’. At least I think that’s the definition.

It’s a sort of insult, you see. Not a particularly good one, there are far, far worse things I could be called and over the years I have indeed been called most of them. ‘Gammon’ does not leave me feeling insulted. It leaves me feeling perplexed.

I mean, If you’re going for meat-based insults surely ‘tripe’ is a better option? Pale, rubbery and bland. Or perhaps ‘chitterlings’. The intestinal offal that really, nobody wants to eat unless they absolutely have to. The latter has the added advantage that most of today’s youth have no idea what ‘chitterlings’ are, so you could greet them with ‘How are you, my little chitterlings?’ for days before one of them gets curious enough to look it up.

But.. gammon? I’m being compared to posh ham? Why not go the whole way and call me sirloin or T-bone? Those would be just as perplexing if used as insults. These SJWs have relied on the old ‘racist-Nazi-bigot’ mantra for a very long time, and this new ‘insult’ goes a long way to explaining why.

They clearly have no imagination. The little light that goes on above their heads when they have an idea must be like illuminating a cathedral with a five watt filament bulb.

Call me ‘gammon’ to my face and I will not be in the least bit insulted. I’m not going to call you racist or ageist or pork-product-ist. I am going to laugh and compare you to a recently defaecated tapeworm segment, in terms of both appearance and intelligence. I might respond by comparing you, unfavourably, to a suppurating pustule or to the back-end consequence of feeding an elephant a massive amount of Vindaloo.

Or I might just call you ‘lamb chop’, just so you can be as baffled as I am.

There is much hoo-ha on Twitter about this. One commenter even refers to it as the ‘G-word’. Yes, it’s already verboten! Brilliant! We can now go into Tesco and ask if they have any of the G-word ham. When they finally ‘get it’ and say ‘Oh, you mean gammon?’ we can then launch into faux-outrage and call the police. We can also take a permanent marker and black out ‘ammon’ on every packet. Oh, the fun to have…

Anyway… Amazon.

They have screwed up again. The print version of ‘Rebellion’ has been incorrectly linked to another novel by the same name, which is entirely dissimilar in every way to Mark Ellott’s book. Only the title is the same. Oh and the author’s first name. The Kindle version is unaffected. ‘Click to look inside’ the Kindle version and you get the right book. On the print version, it links to the other author’s content. They seem to be sending out the right print version though.

There are two reviews which are for the other book. At least they are 5 star reviews, might as well grab that silver lining while it’s there. I have informed Amazon of the blunder, of course nothing has happened so I will inform them again from another account.

This brings us to the favour. If you have time and the inclination, could you click the ‘report incorrect product information’ link on that page and tell them the ‘look inside’ links to the wrong book? Maybe if they get a few more reports they’ll actually take notice.

This is incredibly irritating. I swore not to play with the new G scale trains until this book and Lee Bidgood’s were done and there is a pile of track, two locomotives, three coaches (they are seriously big!) and five freight wagons waiting for me. I’m trying to finish the cover for Lee’s book and ‘Rebellion’ should have been clear by now. Still, it can’t be too easy, eh?

The cover is coming along. So many scenes from the book I wanted to depict but the orange Lada, the scene on the Fred Flintstone slide in the playground and the transsexual policeman really had to be in there. It’s testing my drawing skills to the limit but I think it’s going to be worth it in the end.

If you get the right book on ‘click to look inside’, it means they finally fixed it.

I hope so. It’s too good a story to get this kind of treatment.

 

 

Aloo Akbar

I found out today that the common mispronunciation of Allahu Akbar by Western media and others (Aloo Akbar) actually has a meaning.

It means ‘potatoes are greatest’.

Something an Irish terrorist might shout.

There you are. Islamophobia and racism in a few lines of text. Except… I got that ‘Aloo Akbar’ information from Muslims who wonder why our media worship potatoes, and the Irish are, by and large, the same race as me.

Oh it won’t stop the perpetually offended. Twice on Twitter in the last couple of days I have seen women aghast that Maybelline call an eyeliner ‘negro’ in [the current year]. They don’t call it that, of course. The label they show is actually ‘black – negro – noir’ which is ‘black’ in English, Spanish and French. Because, you see, Maybelline sell in more than one country. I expect to see outrage that Maybelline have culturally appropriated a French film genre in a day or so.

Halloween was marred by the politically correct bollocks that you can’t dress up racist and you can’t ‘culturally appropriate’ and you can’t celebrate ‘white beauty’ because we crackers are all ugly fuckers. Good to know it’s not just me. All those non-whites dating white women/men are doing it out of charity and pity because ‘white beauty’ is merely a capitalist construct to make us feel like we actually matter. Aren’t we hideous White Walkers lucky to be in the company of such generous real humans?

Meanwhile all those non-European non-Pagans happily culturally appropriate the entire day and dress up as paperclips and cat litter trays and other crap that has nothing to do with the real festival. Light a bonfire and as it dies down, jump through the flames to shed the demons that have been following you all year. If you want to do something else, fine, but anything you do is going to be wrong so you might as well do what the hell you like. You can even whine ‘cultural appropriation’ while you do it. And you get to keep your demons.

Another Twitter idiot was incensed that Donnie Trump suggested sending yesterday’s Islamic death delivery driver to Gitmo, when he never said any such thing about the country music hater in Las Vegas. Well, saying such a thing about that loony would have been somewhat pointless since he was dead at the scene. Perhaps Trumpy should have sent his corpse to Gitmo to teach him a lesson. He won’t do it again.

Didn’t Barry O’Blimey get elected the first time round on a promise to shut down Gitmo? It’s still there. Nobody seems to mind.

Then of course, there is the statement from our own mathematical wonder, Diane Abbott, that even a stopped clock is right once a day… We are not yet on the Communist 12-hour day, Diane.

Michael Fallon, defence minister, has resigned over allegations that he touched a woman on the knee fifteen years ago. The woman in question has stated that she was not offended, she told him at the time that if he did it again she’d punch him in the face and he didn’t do it again. As far as she was concerned, that was it. Didn’t stop the Mail making it headline news.

The Holy Ones of Labour, who sacked an MP for pointing out that there was far greater sexual abuse going on in Rotherham, whose leader showed nude pics of a colleague he had sex with, and who are facing allegations of rape at a party conference, are of course utterly incensed at historic knee touching and rebuffed advances on the Tory side.

The offences, aside from actual rape and molestation, are trivial. Some are listed as having a relationship with another MP or a member of staff – no sign of it being in any way forced. Yet these are far more serious than systematic child rape in Rotherham, in the twisted minds of many people.

The levels of stupid out there now are mind-blowing. You can tell people anything and as long as it shocks them, they’ll believe it. They will ignore real evil and focus on your pretend evil if you do it just right. How far can you push this? There is absolutely no limit!

The BBC will help too. They have reported the protests by farmers in South Africa. Those are white farmers who are being tortured to death in their homes and the South African government and justice system not only doesn’t care, it jails them for defending themselves. The BBC reports the farmers’ protests are ‘likely to stir up racial tensions’. When one race is free to torture another race to death, that’s about as fucking tense as it gets in my book.

The BBC are also mystified as to why people are so angry at Kevin Spacey for coming out as gay. Nobody is angry at him for that. People are angry at his molestation of a 14-year-old which came out the same day as he deflected the story by coming out himself.

Just twist it right, make straight white men the bad guys, and you can lie to your heart’s content and the drones will suck it all up. Oh it’s not just non-whites who are this dim. In fact many non-whites are speaking out against the crap now. There are plenty of white people calling for the extinction of the white race, although so far not a single one has volunteered to be first. I’ll develop a grain of respect for these cretins when they practice what they preach.

Then we have the whole transsexual thing. For some it’s a real thing and going through that much surgery must be really hard to do. Personally I dread even going to the dentist even though she’s pretty (can’t be true, she’s white). Yet some people think it’s worth it and good luck to them. I hope it brings them peace and some happiness.

Now, however, we have a pressure group wanting trans- diagnoses for children. Little Johnny dresses up in his mother’s heels and face paint (ah yes, they call it makeup, I remember) and suddenly he needs counselling and hormone injections and puberty blockers…

Kids love to dress up. They love to emulate their parents. Give 5 year old Mary a set of overalls and a plastic spanner and she’ll play ‘fix the car’ with her dad. It does not mean she is really a boy. It means she loves to play with her dad. And maybe she’ll grow into the kind of girl who can look under a car bonnet (hood, for the rebel colonists across the pond) and recognise what she sees in there. We could do with more of those. Women drive cars, they should know how the machine works.

We now have more varieties of gender than Heinz. Look up duck-billed platypus reproductive genetics and marvel that we are now even more complicated than that despite the fact that we aren’t.

Incidentally, the duck-billed platypus, along with most Australian wildlife, is certain proof that God is all in favour of large quantities of whisky. No God could have come up with that thing sober. I have Glen Garioch tonight and I put all my drunken creations in the bottom box in emulation of God.

Kids don’t know what to think about sex until they hit puberty. Trans-ing them before puberty is abuse. Even shortly after. Let the hormones settle, let them figure out who they are and who they want to be. Don’t force it on them because 99% of the time you will be wrong. Then you have utterly fucked up their lives for the sake of profit. Rich surgeons don’t care about post-operative infections or a race of infertile humans. They just want money, it’s what they want. The Beatles said it first but the Flying Lizards said it better.

Sex is the thing of the day. Male, female, intersex, diddlysex, flibbertyflobberty sex, many other distractions which serve only to keep the terminally offended busy while the rest of us ignore them.

You can try to see through the wall of stupid that is building fast or you can play with it and maybe knock a few bricks out of place on the way. Their feelings will be hurt if they ever grow up enough to realise it but it’s not very likely so don’t worry too much.

As for me…

I wanna play a game.

I need a new Twitter account…

Aloo Akbar

Talking to walls

Today I tried conversing with progressives. These are people who want Donald Trump ‘impeached’ but have never really articulated what he is to be accused of. As far as I know, even in this lunatic modern world, ‘being an arse’ is still not illegal. So maybe they know something else?

Anyway, I wondered if it were possible to have a polite conversation and work out what it is they are all so angry about all the time. Here is the result.

It began here…

I questioned the obvious inference. They rejoice at a counter-protest to a group calling themselves ‘white lives matter’ when they would be utterly outraged at anyone protesting a ‘black lives matter’ rage-fest. Therefore, logically, they don’t believe white lives matter, right?

The response… and my second question…


All I am asking for here is a consistent response. If one group asking not to be killed because of their skin colour is hateful Nazi bigotry, why is another group doing the same thing to be lauded?

Next…

And that was it. No further response. Others did weigh in though…

It ended with this…

No argument, no definition of their position, nothing but insults and an assumption that I must be fascist for questioning their doctrine. They have clearly never questioned it themselves. So, I left the conversation none the wiser about why ‘black lives matter’ is good and ‘white lives matter’ is evil.

Until later…

At the end of that section of the conversation, added after I had abandoned any hope of finding a reasoned discussion, is the answer.

They hate ‘White Lives Matter’ because ‘Black Lives Matter’ was their idea, it was first, and the other gang is copying their game. That is really it. That is the sole justification for all the threats and name calling and counter protesting.

My mistake was assuming I was talking to adults.