Meat and mirth.

I’m going to need a lot of help laughing at this one.

Remember all that healthy eating advice? Stay away from red meat, live entirely on fish and chicken or you die?

Well…

HEALTH conscious women who eat mainly fish and chicken could be storing up as many problems as those who tuck into junk food.

It’s no good. I have to have another dose.

So what’s wrong with the fish and chicken diet? Haven’t we all been told that red meat will kill us? Haven’t we all been told it will make us all obese and cancerous?

Too little iron in both sorts of diet is to blame.

Oh dear oh dear. All those who listened to the healthy eating nuts are now anaemic and feeble. What to do?

Switching a few meals to foods high in iron, such as steak, liver and watercress could make all the difference. 

Uh-oh, here it comes again…

Yes indeed, health people, make those messages clear. So do we give up red meat as you wanted, and languish with anaemia, or do we just eat a bit of this and that, as humanity has done since it first dragged its scaly carcass out of the sea? How did we ever live without you? The answer, I think you’ll find, is ‘better’.

But – how can this be? Who, in this Righteous age, would have the temerity to claim that red meat can be in any way good for you?

The National Diet and Nutrition Survey, conducted by YouGov for industry body MeatMatters, found that a quarter of British women and teenage girls suffer from a low intake of iron. 

Aha, another pressure group. The Meat Men are fighting back with Righteous techniques of their own. As for the credibility of YouGov polling, I think Junican has some clues for us there.

Oh dear, I can barely type for laughing. All that hectoring and nagging about ‘healthy eating’ has turned the population anaemic. Well, the female half. Nobody seems to care about the male half – but that’s not new. Now the burger bars can advertise the iron content of their burgers and entice the fish-and-chicken eaters back. Put some lettuce and cress on top and your State-sponsored anaemia will be cured in one meal.

From the health advisors that gave your children rickets, you can now add anaemia to their list of wondrous ‘progessive’ influence on your lives.

I mean, how can you not….

It’s good to laugh. Even better when the Righteous are the ones being laughed at.