Hedgehog emergency

We have a sick hedgehog and neither of us have much money. So I’ll be selling to raise cash, mostly on eBay. I have to raise cash for rent anyway, this is extra.

One of the things going up is my 1/24 scale Nightwing truck, a DAF cab unit turned into a right hand drive box van. It looks like this:


I’ll have better photos for eBay, obviously.

Also, Zombie Santa among other things. This was the first nail polish Santa and looks like this…


Yes the garland became a colon and the teddy lost an eye :) It all looked so cheerful before I got to it.

In the next few days I’ll be looking to cover rent and vet bills on eBay. It’s going to be a busy time…


Dreaming of unification

It’s been a long time since I corrupted a song here. I should have been asleep long ago but this one just demanded my attention. What the hell, I don’t have to be up early, work is afternoon shift tomorrow.

There was only one line I didn’t change because it fit so well and I really couldn’t better it. You can find the original here.

So, with apologies in advance to the Red Hot Chili Peppers, here is my version of ‘Californication’, now retitled ‘Dreaming of unification’.

As always, it’s open to better lines or links.


Science is redundant in the climate conflagration
And Tom Jones songs in rugby now cause domestic violations
And if you dream any kind of dream it’s mental aberration

It’s the end of the EU and soon the end of civilisation
The sun might burn in the east at least it’ll fire up the next big nation
While in the west democracy becomes unification

Pay the Righteous very well to do all of your thinking
They’ll take your smokes and leave you broke and save you from your drinking

Believe in unicorns
All sex is porn

Dreaming of unification
Dream of Borg assimilation…

Marry a girl or a badger or a bird it’s the same in this society
We no longer make distinctions because we’re high on total equality
And start up a farm with a corporate arm, organic food fakery

Death may be the final frontier but you can find it in a hospital basement
And Corbyn can you see the end of our EU debasement?
And Assange won’t you go away, you’re just an embarrassment

Righteous dark pronouncements to control the population
Government accepts them, rubber stamps their smug elation

Look! A unicorn!
Distracts them all

Dreaming of unification
Dream of Righteous smug elation
Dreaming of standardisation
Dream of Borg assimilation

Destruction leads to a very rough road but it also breeds creation
It’s what the Righteous just can’t grasp, they think it’s a final solution
But everything they break just makes a newer innovation

Pay the Righteous very well to tell you what you’re thinking
Twisted in the mind, they want to find a way to stop you thinking

Ignore the unicorns
Wake up, see the dawn

Dream of Borg assimilation
Dream of Righteous smug elation
Dreaming of unification

Dream a life without coercion…

Kim Jong Cameroid

It’s what one of the commenters named him. They were right.

The Cameroid has a New Deal with the EU which changes… nothing at all. He must have hoped nobody would notice. Clearly he has not the slightest understanding of how real people think, nor even of how his party works. He is not a dictator, much as he would like to be.

Now he has declared that his MPs should ignore not only voters, but even their own local party members. Not just the ones who voted them into place. Also the ones who put them up for election in the first place. Ignore them all and be a good little EU drone. Do what Kim Jong Cameroid dictates.

The EU is fucked. It’s falling apart. It’s going to be a noisy crash and there will be collateral damage but it’s going down and going down fast. There’ll be no Blair-like hopes of a presidency for the Cameroid. His ambitions are in vain.

This man has no vision, no ability to calculate the future and no grasp of reality at all. Real life is going to steamroller him into oblivion. The sooner the better. He can take the grinning ghoul Blair with him.

This declaration of forced support for the EU is desperation. It’s going to fail. The EU will fall apart within my lifetime and I’ll be scoffing popcorn as it goes down.

Their last ditch attempt at unification will be a war. Not within Europe, but with Europe against the Middle East. It’s been carefully set up over many years. Islam doesn’t realise it but they are not a religion any more, they are a useful tool  for those who want control.

We are at war with Eurasia. We have always been at war with Eurasia…

Interesting times

My little car has been through its MOT and now has brakes and a boot lid that opens. Cost was painful but not crippling. I didn’t know a non-functioning boot was an MOT fail but apparently it is. Still it was only £30 for a new lock. If I’d known that I’d have fixed it myself.

I did fix it once before. It’s not hard to do. I did it with a scrapyard part and it wasn’t long before it broke again. If only I had known the new part was that cheap.

It’s a Ford, and every time you look up how to fix something on the internet you can find the answer. Usually under ‘this is a common problem’. Fords do seem to have a lot of ‘common problems’. I never had this with the Skoda.

It wasn’t a real Skoda. It was a Skoda Felicia after Volkswagen took over. As my boss at the time said, it was really a Volkswagen Polo with the street cred taken out.

Anyway, I am legally mobile again.


Work has a new cleaner. Boss told me he has the same name as me and I insisted on being the one to tell the bakers and the cafe staff. The looks on their faces when I told them there was another me starting… priceless!

He’s a pleasant guy. Nice to everyone. Still, his training has begun. I don’t even need to make up a name for him. Two of us with the same name is going to cause more confusion than anything I could dream up.


The other day, I told Obelix that he looks like Mongo from Blazing Saddles. Judging by the resulting reaction, he was the only one in the staff room who hasn’t seen that film. If he ever does, I might need medical attention.

He has threatened to kill me a few times. Four of them tonight. I told him Nads would be furious if he did because she wants to.


There was a lizard funeral at work. Yeah, I know, you would expect no less. In the bottom of a box of bananas was a desiccated baby gecko. Poor little chap must have hatched in transit and found nothing to eat because lizards don’t eat bananas. Obelix, to his credit, arranged the funeral. It was most touching and there were few dry eyes at the final flush. Took a few goes. It seems dead geckos can swim.

Should I have mentioned that geckos lay eggs in pairs? I thought I’d save that information for later.

Someone pointed out that it could have been worse, there could have been a massive spider in the bananas. The guy who deals with fruit apparently hadn’t thought of that… He has now.


I’ll gloss over the exploding arse incident in the customer toilets. Suffice to say that the manager in charge said ‘lock it and leave it’ and called the hazmat suit sanitisers – or as Obelix calls them, the poop scoop crew. He’s learning :)

Okay, I’m probably the most qualified person within 20 miles to deal with it but work liability insurance says no. If the manager told me to do it and I caught something, I’m not covered by work insurance but could put in a compensation claim I could retire on. Tonight’s manager was smart.


Right, I feel a rant coming on. It’ll go on a timer for tomorrow…

Nail Art Modelling -The Trailer

I have double shifts all weekend, car in for MOT Monday and work Monday evening, so will be a bit quiet for a few days.

This is a preview of a post in the making. I own far more nail polish and nail art equipment than the average over-50 straight guy. Probably more than the average 25 year old gay guy and maybe more than most teen girls. What I do with it does not involve nails.


The Sparkle Truck


The box Sparkle Truck came out of. It was the fire engine. The ambulance is currently in surgery ;)

That’s a 1/76 scale RAF fire truck from about 1940. Well, no, it isn’t a fire truck any more. I didn’t exactly follow the instructions. I just need the right number plates and it’s done.


Projects in progress


N gauge items under construction. The ruler is in millimetres.

More on this later. There is a whole new world of model making out there, and it could result in some new ideas for the nail artists too.

First I have to get through a weekend of hellish work levels. Shouldn’t be too difficult.


Updated to include the model box on 31 Jan 2016



WHO… did you vote for?

The World Health Organisation is one of several unelected Puritan pompous nannying groups who tell governments what to do. The people you vote for get their orders from people you didn’t vote for and who you have probably never heard of. These people are never held to account for their actions or pronouncements because there is no mechanism in place to do it.

In short, they do as they damn well please, they order your elected representatives around and here is not a damn thing any of us can do about it.

Our elected representatives could do something about it. They could question who these people are, who put them into power and on whose authority they presume to dictate to sovereign governments how they should legislate.

They could do that. Or they could roll over and let their masters tickle their tummies. You already know which option they have chosen.

The current ‘smoking’ is sugar, of course. The sugar tax, soon to join tobacco and alcohol duty on the annual tax-collecting escalator. Think it’s going to stop there? Why would it stop? Nothing else has.

The WHO believes that it is the primary responsibility of governments to ‘tackle the obesogenic environment’. In other words, the unelected WHO wants your elected representatives to tell you how you should live and what you should eat. Are you okay with that?

Are you okay with the sugar tax being extended to other foods? Think that won’t happen?


If it’s not clear in that image, the line is in the article.

What’s an unhealthy food? It’s what the WHO say it is. You and I don’t get to decide what we like, the WHO will do that for us and the government will direct taxation under WHO orders to make sure we are all doing as the WHO tell us to do.

Once this sugar tax is in place, a sausage tax, pie tax, fish and chips tax, curry tax and many others will follow. Within a few months. As with the smoking template, as soon as they get their way on one thing they immediately move on to the next.

MacDonald’s and Kentucky Fried Chicken will be taxed out of business. Nobody will be able to afford to go there. Fish and chip shops will die, the same way the pubs died. All those curry shops, burger vans, ice cream vans, all priced out of any chance of profitability and all soon to be gone.

Then we can live on carrots and tofu and all live long and extraordinarily sad and dull lives. Won’t it be great? Won’t it be fun? We can watch those WHO folk and our elected representatives drinking, smoking and eating the stuff we can’t afford and know that we are paying for them to do it through the taxes they take from us.

That’s the future. Not the distant future, it’s the next year or so.

If you don’t believe it can happen, you really haven’t been paying attention these last few years, have you?

More smoke tax

As if there isn’t enough already…

Cancer Research UK (CRUK)  today demanded that the government ‘make the tobacco industry pay for the damage it causes and help reduce the number of people killed by its deadly product’ by slapping a levy of 20 pence on a standard pack of cigarettes.

A deadly product. An entire industry of killing people. Do they want it made illegal? Of course not.

As this fine rant points out (tipped by our visiting librarian), CRUK and their gangster pals don’t ever want tobacco banned. They don’t ever want the number of smokers to reduce to zero. How will they explain cancer and every other illness then? Who will pay for the smoking cessation industry when nobody smokes? They’ll all be out of a job, and their decades of lies will be exposed when nobody smokes and people still die anyway.

Cigarettes are already taxed at 400% of their basic price. And you can’t smoke them anywhere. Yet they are not illegal and nobody is asking for them to be made illegal. They just want tighter and tighter controls. They just want more and more tax, more and more control, and it will never stop because our leaders are gullible, compliant idiots who just do as the bullies direct.

CRUK, ASH and all the rest are shitting themselves over Electrofag. Not because it’s dangerous – it quite obviously isn’t – but because smokers are moving over to it and ignoring the stupid patches, gum and suicide pills that never worked anyway. I have several Electrofags. They are fun gadgets.

I haven’t moved over completely to vaping because I like the real ones. I don’t take Electrofag to work because I’d still have to go outside to use it and if I have to go outside anyway, I’m having a real one.

Sure, the risks are bound to be less with steam than with smoke but the risks of smoke were always way overhyped anyway. The human race grew up in fire and smoke. In caves, in smoky huts and cottages, and until very recently indeed in houses with coal fires. Smoke didn’t kill us off. It was always part of our lives.

In fact it could well be the sudden lack of it that’s causing our recent health problems, but no scientist would dare investigate that. Most can’t even bring themselves to consider the possibility.

So, we now have a whole lobby trying to kill off Electrofag. No surprise. It ‘looks like smoking’ and involves people enjoying themselves which is not allowed. The tobacco industry don’t want this competitor. The antismokers don’t want to let their favourite whipping boys escape. The huge smoking cessation industry could be put out of work! They all want to get rid of Electrofag.

None of them want to get rid of smokers. They all depend on our continued existence.

Really, vapers, you are going to get it a lot worse than smokers ever did. They just like to beat us up once in a while. They want you lot exterminated. We did try to warn you…

We also said right from the start that the tobacco template would be applied to other disapproved-of things. Booze, naturally. It’s a standard Puritan target every time. Food too. You can’t have the good stuff. Eat only a bowl of grain mashed in water once a day and you too will enter Heaven. Probably quite soon.

The Cameroid is now seriously considering a sugar tax. Naturally the tea supply in the House of Commons will have tax-free sugar and MPs will be able to claim the cost of their home sugar on expenses. It’s not for them. It’s for us. As always.

Yet more tax on tobacco. More on booze soon, as sure as night follows day. Tax on sugar and salt. Unless you’re an MP, in which case the taxes everyone else pays will subsidise your rampant excesses. And they wonder why fewer and fewer people bother to vote now.

It’s all built on a house of cards. Fake science, spin, denial of facts and replacement with made-up rubbish that only an MP could be stupid enough to believe. Nobody checks. Nobody calls the bilious morons to account. They just accept the pronouncements that have been made up on the spot to suit a farcical agenda.

I hope I’m still around when this lot falls apart. It always does, every time. This is a very big house of cards and when it comes down it’s going to be worth watching.

It only takes a nudge on the bottom layer.