Illegal to be fat…

Today, two of the larger women at work were discussing their diet plans in the staff room. They are in some kind of Fat Club (but get cross if they hear you calling it that – first rule of Fat Club is apparently that it’s not actually called Fat Club).

These are not obese women. A very skilled painter called Rubens would have been delighted to have them as models. They are curvy. They want to be less curvy, not because they are unhealthy (they are not) but because of Society’s demands that we all look like a vegan who doesn’t like vegetables.

I stayed very quiet because my current midriff diameter is much less than half of either of theirs and yesterday’s evening meal was based around 400g of lamb steaks fried in butter with onions, tomatoes, mushrooms and chilli – then fried bread to soak up the remaining butter. If they heard that, they’d snap me in half.

The lamb came about because I called in the Co-Op on the way home to plan a meal. I was actually planning on pepperoni pizza with added pepperoni, more cheese and chilli. They recognise me now because all that’s open when I stop work at 9 pm is the Co-Op or Tesco and to paraphrase Elvis Costello, ‘I don’t want to go to Tesco’.

Besides, the Co-Op is on the way home, Tesco isn’t.

Anyway, one of the staff was in the process of reducing stuff that was due to expire next day and asked me if I wanted one of the three 400g packs of lamb steaks she was reducing from £5 each to £1.25 each.

I bought all three packs. I have a freezer. There is now child-meat in my freezer.

Fried in butter, it was wonderful but the inmates of Fat Club would have been horrified. ‘How can you eat that and still be getting thinner?’ Easy. I don’t eat much else. Rarely eat chocolate, occasional biscuits or crisps, once in a while six bags of pork scratchings (they come in packs of six bags), now and then an entire large bag of salted peanuts and cashews (‘made for sharing’, ha ha ha) and I am working seven days a week at a physically active job. At the moment I could eat a pound of lard and not put on an ounce. It all just burns away.  I have had to make a new hole in my belt!

Area Manager is what I would call obese. She is verging on planetary. If you want to draw a perfect circle by hand, lay her on a sheet of paper and draw around her. And yet I do not condemn her choice to live that way. I am not even interested in her choice to live that way. I might make the occasional (or frequent) jibe but I don’t want to force her to live any other way and I would never support anyone else who tried to force lifestyle choices on her.

It’s her life, not mine. I am very busy trying to live my life. I have no time to concern myself with living anyone else’s. Heck, I don’t have time to do all the things I want to do so I certainly have no time to tell anyone else what to do. You lot can sort it out yourselves.

That sort of thing is the preserve of tax parasites whose only source of income depends on telling the idiots in charge to tell the rest of us how to live. The political world is more infested with parasitic groups than there are variants of parasites in real taxonomy.

The one currently using the tobacco template to control everyone’s life is the Anti-Chubby Brigade. They now want laws to stop us getting fat.

Based on?

Based on current trajectories, it forecasts that if the calorie content of packaged foods does not change over the next five years, the average global consumer will be buying 90 more calories a day in 2019 compared to 2014 – although removing an average of 100 calories a day from Western diets would be needed to halt the rise of obesity.

Based on made-up rubbish, just like everything else. I buy packaged foods often, also fish and chips or a curry on the way home because I finish work at 9 pm and often don’t feel like cooking anything. I am losing weight steadily. It’s not the food that makes people fat. It’s sitting in front of the TV watching programs about how fat everyone is getting that makes people fat.

Even so, if people are fine with being ‘overweight’, I see no problem. Perhaps the chubbies will eventually notice that ‘everyone really wants to weigh less than a photograph of themselves’ and the drinkers will notice that ‘everyone wants to be alcohol-free’ is exactly the same as ‘every smoker wants to quit’. In other words, made-up rubbish.

I have absolutely no interest in controlling anyone else’s life in any way unless they are directly and physically in my way. Even then, most times I can just go around.

If you want to control mine, give it your best shot.

You will fail.