Steam is the new smoke

In what is possibly the most embarrassing thing so far to be associated with science (and these days, that’s impressive), alleged researchers have claimed that Electrofag is not a ‘safe alternative to smoking’.

There is much talk about Islam needing to rid itself of its lunatic fringe. Science needs to do the same, and soon. Otherwise, just as with Islam, all scientists will be regarded as being the same as the fantasy-peddlers in their midst.

E-cigarettes generate toxic chemicals similar to those found in tobacco and may harm the lungs and immune system, scientists claimed today.

A new study, thought to be the first where animals were exposed to ‘vaping’, found it is far from being a safe alternative to smoking tobacco.

In a move that means the reporter, at least, has had an irony gland bypass, the article aslo says-

Devices generated just 1% of the free radicals found in cigarettes but still posed a potential health risk, scientists warned

Which means the level of risk with an Electrofag is 99% less than that of the real thing. Which was already widely known before this silly muricidal experiment. Note that the risk is, in the first place, vastly exaggerated for the real cigarettes and that tobacco smoke has now been blamed for everything from alopecia to zoonoses.

Yes, there is a risk in smoking. There is a risk in crossing the road. There is a big risk in getting home from work at 9 pm when the streets shine like well-polished and greased chrome and are about as safe to walk on.

So far I have suffered far more from icy paths than from smoking, and I have experienced a hell of a lot more smoke than icy paths.

So some mice died from inhaling (undefined concentration) of (some chemical) that might be present in trace amounts in Electrofag steam. Mice have lungs that are smaller than humans and lab mice are bred to be susceptible to all sorts of things – so that those things can be quickly tested. What happens to a lab mouse will take a lot longer to happen to a real-life mouse and a hell of a lot longer to happen to a human. Perhaps longer than a human lifetime. Funny they never mention that.

Ah but wait, the mice didn’t die from inhaling Electrofag steam. They died of being deliberately infected with nasty things afterwards. The ones dosed with (undefined concentrations) of Electrofag steam chemicals died faster – but then, a mouse lung has a bit less capacity than a human lung.

To test the amounts human vapers inhale would involve scaling down and dosing the mice with barely detectable – practically homeopathic – concentrations and my money is on… they didn’t do that.

If Electrofag makes your lungs so weak that you’d die of an infection and they are 99% less harmful than real tobacco, then why have I, a tobacco smoker and also a many-gadget vaper, not had so much as a cold in years? On the basis that a bit of steam vastly increases the risk of horrible lung infections, my lungs should look like Swiss cheese by now and be as effective at oxygen transfer as mild steel. They work perfectly well. I do 6-8 hour shifts without having to sit down once. The breaks I take are 5-minute smoke breaks even though on an 8-hour shift I am entitled to 45 minutes of break. I’ve never used it all.

The nonsmokers do, and they moan about how tired they are. They (the shop staff) get two days off a week. My last day off was New Year’s Day and my next day off is God Knows When. I’d just chuck the job if I didn’t want to let Boss down.

When I was looking for a part time job to just cover the bills, I was overqualified for almost everything and too close to retirement for everything else. Boss took a chance on me and I’ve made sure she hasn’t regretted it. When she has accumulated a staff member or two then I will make good on my escape plan but I’m not leaving her all on her own. When someone helps me out, I have an obligation.

Anyway, back to the point…

E-cigarettes generated just one per cent of the amount of free radicals in tobacco smoke, but this still posed a potential health risk, said the researchers.

So those who switch from smoking to vaping have 99% less of the (claimed) risk level and that’s a bad thing? What are we supposed to have, an entirely risk-free life? You could be flattened by a dropped piano or on a plane whose engines fail or beheaded by Islamic fanatics in pretty much any country now and you gave up smoking/vaping for that? On the basis of fabricated propaganda? Final regrets are always the worst.

I’m going to die. So are you. So is Jihadi Johnny and all his rabid pals. So is Rancid Glans and Slimy Chappedlips and the Dreadful Arnott. We are all going to die. It’s inevitable. Death comes for us all (but he can’t force you to go with him, remember, and his name is Abel, which he’ll be surprised that you know).

I’m going to die of something. Smoking or drinking or diet related Something. There will be a cause of death on my final beurocratic bit of paper.

Antismoking ‘super-fit’ flabby Puritans are going to feel really silly one day, lying in a hospital bed, dying of nothing.

‘Cause of death – boredom’.

I am definitely not dying of that.


31 thoughts on “Steam is the new smoke

    • Indeed. Nobody is looking at causes of cancer other than smoking, drinking or being generously waistlined. You can’t get funding unless you already have the conclusions written.

      It already happened. I have a simple cure for Clostridoium difficile in my lab freezer and have had it for years. The real doctors love it but the NHS doesn’t want to know.

      It’s not smoking-related so it’s not a real disease.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Legs, I had a terrible lurgi (heavy cold) last November, It wasn’t man-flu, my nose was running like a tap and I was living off Strepsils and Benelyn. I lost 3 shifts and when I called the work sick phone-line service the first time the upper-middle manager didn’t recognise my voice it was that nasally congested.

    Luckily my (current) employer pays full sick pay, so wasn’t fiscally fucked come next pay day.

    When I shaked it off, I heard about a dozen others had been off with same lurgi, so probably caught it off some cunt at work…

    Liked by 1 person

    • The pressure on people to turn up for work when ill has always been one of the stupidest management ideas. They just spread their disease and then you have half the workforce off sick.

      Still goes on. Many managers seem incapable of learning.


  2. We all die. Many die because their telomeres get shorter. Everything we do in life carries an inherent risk- tis the human condition after all. I’m interested in those folk who live a very long life but don’t seem to follow the doc’s advice. Interestingly, centergenarians don’t seem to have a particularly healthy lifestyle- they seem to live and enjoy their lives and are subject to foibles, just like everyone else. Perhaps they are protected by their own pecular set of genes, perhaps it is a matter of luck. Regardless, let’s stop worrying and just get on with relishing this aberrant condition called life.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. And lo… On the eigth day the Lord set forth and created doctors and scientists. He adorned than with white rainments, and many instruments of pain and terror. He also provided them with a level of arrogance that no other beast, slithering reptile or man could ever have. Some of these doctors/scientists were good and pursued the light that would unlock the many gifts from the Lord that would enhance, enrich and improve the lives of their fellow men. But many took a different path. They used their arrogance to accumulate much wealth and they bandied together to form groups which would set them further apart from the rest of humanity.

    They formed a clique with the politicians, most of whom were quick of mouth and slow of mind and between the two groups they garnered much power at the cost of the population as a whole. They exploited drugs which would banish disease to further overfill their chests of gold whilst the poor died without treatment they could not afford. Free health care was poisoned and whilst many good doctors/scientists tried to do good their efforts were swamped by the the bad.

    All the while the Devil had been watching and waiting for an opportunity to have a share of this wealth but also to increase the number of souls heading down to the waiting fire and brimstone. An agreement was made between the doctors/scientists, the politicians and the devil. They would use smoke as a weapon which would allow them to achieve their greatest aim, that of taxing the air that humans breathed (out). The doctors/scientists would lie about the dangers carbon dioxide and cigarette smoke whilst the politicians would pile law upon law on the people to restrict their lives and empty their pockets.

    All the while the Lord had watched as the doctors/scientists/politicians laid their plans and the rest of humanity slowly became slaves. But what to do? The Lord spoke to Noash, a. very good man who smoked, drank, used much energy and truly helped his fellow men and told him that a great pestilence would befall all of humanity. He told Noash to build a giant supersupersuperhypersupermarket and gather as many people in it as he could which Noash did. At first it was difficult to tempt people to the huge supermarket which had many other stores all around the world but Noash was also cunning and he used buy one get two free offers and such like to keep people coming to the stores.

    The Lord told him to stock up with electrical goods which the people were keen to have and he was to have a giant sale all over the world and call it Black Friday. Of course the doctors/scientists/politicians and the devil would have no need or want for such goods and they would definitely not want to walk within the hoards.

    On the appointed day this terrible Black Friday the people were in the stores and much fighting and arguing took place. But this was the moment that the Lord set forth a dreadful pestilence. Pestilence one was sent to live and multiply in the bottoms of the doctors, they would never again have peace from the continuing itch. Pestilence two was sent to infect the brains of the scientists which would only be capable of talking patent gibberish and nonsense and have to sit in front of computers all day long whilst smoking fags. Pestilence three was sent to the politicians who from that moment onwards reinforced the certainty that they talked guff, lies and nonsense whilst acting like two year olds.

    The Lord was pleased with his work but maybe it hadn’t been his best moment. The Lord quickly deleted the eigth day from all memory. The devil as usual ran away and hid.

    It could be true.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. This is the same level of “this is what our consensus made up last night” ‘science’ – the same kind which is decimating our power industry. I’ve seen, and read of people, and children (latter is worrying) who pointed at cooling towers and shouted “CO2!” No. It is steam. Hot water.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I remember, long ago, approving of a campaign to put a stop to captive beagles being forced to somehow smoke 40 a day.

    I think those poor wee mice should be given a break.


  6. Pingback: Think of the children! (No, really – THINK!) | argvargen

  7. Bad science. The DM says that the mice inhaled human equivalents for two weeks. Given the very short lifespan of a mouse this is approx 4 years of vaping for a human.. Humans vape for about half an hour a day, probably, which for a mouse would equal a second or two, given their high respiration and metabolic rate.
    I bet they gave them more than a few seconds-worth, plus rodents are prone to respiratory illnesses anyway.


  8. It is impossible for any human to ‘die’. We are only ‘killed’ by the incompetence, negligence or violence of humanity, or self ignorance of our living environment.

    The cause of all this killing is lies (hope and trust, belief and disbelief). Don’t hope or trust – experience real education and learn the meaning of life. Don’t believe or disbelieve – experience real truth and learn why you are alive.

    Focusing thought on running away from your death will prolong your life and focusing thought on confronting your life will hasten your death. By avoiding these two thoughts you will learn how and know you can’t die.

    Stay in the observer mode and learn how to avoid the extreme violence of nature or humanity. If you are killed by nature; an earthquake, flood or storm, it is because you have not ensured protection and chose risk. (You believed the authorities over you made your home, town or environment safe from the elements). If you are killed by humanity; murder,trauma, poison or disease it is because you have not learnt protection and chose faith. (You believed the authorities over you made your neighbours, property, medicine, food and water safe from causing harm).

    Suicide is also poison (poisoned mind). Soldier killing soldier is also murder (murdered civilisation). Hunger and thirst is also trauma (the trauma of violent nature or humanity).

    Confront these threats and hasten your death. Run away from these threats and prolong your life. Find ways to avoid these threats and know the truth of life and death…you will not die!


  9. I had my last analogue cigarette about 18 months ago, I’m now down to 6mg vaping but I have noticed that I’m more prone to colds and sniffles nowadays. On the other hand, my lung capacity is up (not that it was a problem, I’m a brass player so it was always great).


    • According to the medics it must be impossible for any smoker to play any wind instrument. And yet… many do.

      Two thiongs that might make you more prone to colds… Vapour won’t ‘fumigate’ your face like smoke, and you are likely to use the same mouthpiece with each vaping session. Real cigarettes are a once-only affair. So if you have any kind of cold virus, you can transfer it onto your Electrofag and transfer it back again later.

      I wipe my Electrofag mouthpieces with alcohol wipes (I can sense you all grinning, you know) after use.


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