The smoker rebellion

Will there be one? I have wondered if we can honestly be arsed to bother. We’re a pretty chilled crowd, we smokers, even the ones who haven’t been tricked into permanent guilt by the Holy Antismoker Inquisition.

It’s a trick, yes. The guilt. It’s a way of controlling you. Keep you feeling guilty and repentant and then offer you forgiveness if you live your life as instructed instead of doing it the fun way. Come on, you’ve seen it over and over again. Isn’t it obvious by now?

Look, it’s simple. If you smoke and you don’t like it, well stop fucking doing it. It’s not brain surgery. If you stop smoking and decide all smokers are evil filthy bastards because you’re not doing it any more, kindly find a convenient high building and jump off it because you have become what you used to be scared of. You’re the monster now.

I like to smoke. It’s big and manly and cool and the chicks dig it. You antismokers are a bunch of dweebs the girls all laugh at behind your backs and you’re so filled with hate and spite that you can’t ever see real life. Maybe reality is too hard for you to take.


Basically, if you spend all your life trying to live other people’s lives for them, you have no life of your own. You’re just a leech sucking the fun out of the world.

I smoke. I drink. I eat crap food. I am not interested in forcing, nor even in persuading, anyone else to live like I do. It might kill a few of you. If you don’t want to smoke, don’t do it. If you want to be booze-free there are hundreds of types of teas and coffees out there. If you don’t want to go to the chip shop, don’t go. Do you really need a law to make you decide how to live? No. You want a law to make everyone else live your bland and hateful life.

All the force comes from the antismoker side. It’s always ban, ban, ban, Cost to the economy. You enjoying your life is a cost to the economy. Well fuck the economy in every hole and drill a few new ones for later. All ‘the economy’ has ever done is take a huge chunk of the money I worked for and given it to those who can’t be bothered doing anything for themselves but think they have a right to tell me how to live. I’m supposed to give a shit about the economy?

I’ll let you know if I start to care.

In the Philippines, their new president wants smoking to become a criminal offense while leaving baccy on sale to get the revenue. He has no idea what he is doing.

The sale of dodgy baccy in the Philippines will rival that of the UK in moments. Already, corner shop prices in most of Europe are half of the lowest supermarket prices in the UK, and we are the only country with the silly doors. Strangely that never seems to be mentioned.

It’s getting tense. The first smoker to be jailed for using a heavily taxed legal product in public could well be our Ghandi.

If it turns out to be a vaper – and it could, because they’re still smokers in the Anti eyes – I am going to laugh until I shit myself.


6 thoughts on “The smoker rebellion

  1. The poor man is showing a scarcely surprising degree of paranoia. I stopped smoking tobacco nearly four years ago affter a near fatal bout of pneumonia. Am I better favoured by the health fascists? Actually, no. I have to puff surreptiously on the vape up my shirt sleeve in many pubs, buses and above all, trains. I once threatened to hit someone on a Sevenoaks train for his pointless complaint but I doubt whether he saw the error of his ways.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I agree it’s past time for a smokers’ rebellion. We should demand the end to persecution of smokers and repeal of smoking bans. A reduction in taxes and an end to the tobacco control propaganda machine should follow…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Pingback: In the News October 18th | Convicted Vapour

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