Everything happens at once…

Finally, Amazon have dispatched my order of ‘Tales the Hollow Bunnies Tell’. Admittedly it was a large order: all the authors elected to be paid in books so I had to get a load in. I’ll have them Saturday and post them next week.

Smashwords keep asking for amendments to the ebook on their site, before they release it to other sellers. Damn. This hasn’t happened with any of the other books, only the one that was in before the deadline. It’ll get sorted out eventually.

Current projects are a biography of Han Snel, a Dutch painter, by Dirk Vleugels, Longrider’s short story collection ‘Blackjack’ and hopefully a novel that was sent in before Christmas. Margo, if you’re reading, I’ve sent email. I can’t progress that one without your agreement.

As for me, I’ve had the writing urge again. Writing until daylight returns – I shouldn’t do that too often, it’s knackering. Victor’s Will has made a lot of progress this past week. It’ll need heavy editing because there have been long dormant periods between writing sessions.

In May thee are local council elections here. I have taken great delight in putting the pamphlets through the shredder and watching the smug little faces turned into confetti. I’ll have to find the least bad one to vote for.

Then it turns out, I have to do it again in June because Tessie May, the Prime Monster, has called a very short notice general election. Why? Well, here’s the most plausible reason –

The end of the likely tortuous Article 50 negotiations is a hard deadline set for March 2019.

Under the Fixed Term Parliaments Act, that’s when the Tories would be starting to prepare for a general election the following year, with what one cabinet minister described as certain “political needs”.

In other words, the government would be exposed to hardball from the EU because ministers would be desperate to avoid accepting anything that would be politically unpopular, or hold the Brexit process up, at the start of a crucial election cycle.

Finalising negotiations with an opponent who knows you’re vulnerable would be a very bad move. The EU could pressurise the UK government into accepting watered-down agreements so they don’t spook the public and risk getting wiped out in an election the following year. Putting the next election a few years behind the end of Brexit gives them a chance to show their policies can work before they go to the polls again.

There’s more to it. Plaid Cymru claim that a lot of Welsh Labour MPs are vulnerable to losing their seats to Plaid. If true, this election would give Labour a right kick in the nads and even if the Tories don’t increase their numbers, having the main opposition party reduced would make things easier for them.

It’s possible. Labour voters in Wales aren’t likely to vote Tory, ever, but they are quite likely to switch to Plaid Cymru.

Tessie isn’t going to go for TV debates. The childish ’empty chair’ gambit has been rolled out by the other parties once more. They really think an empty chair is a major scorecard victory for them. It’s playground politics – but there’s a lot of that about now.

Meanwhile, north of Hadrian’s Wall, little Nicky the Fish claims the SNP are the only party who can stop a hardline Tory government. Well I’m not voting for you, Nicky. Not until your party learns to act like a government rather than a bunch of handwringing nannying fussbuckets. We vote for politicians to run the country, not to tell us how we have to live. We do not become your property when you take office.

This is a big claim for a little woman. The Tory presence in Scotland is minimal already and they are hardly likely to form the next Scottish Assembly. It would be hilarious if they did though. The wailing would be heard in Canberra.

The SNP presence in Wastemonster is similarly trivial. They are not going to be making a big impact there any time soon. No, Fishwife, you won’t be stopping anyone anywhere – except stopping people in Scotland enjoying themselves. It’s what you do best, after all.

Timmy Farron, the Liberal Democrat, also thinks his party is the only one who can stop the Tories. There aren’t many left in Timmy’s gang and there might be even fewer in June.

Tessie has gambled on winning this election and getting a bigger majority. She’s in with a chance but it’s still down to chance. The short timescale will make it harder for the fake votes to build up but it also doesn’t give much time for any party to put their case to the electorate.

I hope she wins it, and comes out with a huge majority. Not because I’m a Tory supporter – I’m a nobody supporter – but because it would be nice to have a government that can actually make a decision for once. And because it would make our stance in Brexit negotiations so much stronger.

Brexit is happening. It can’t be stopped. We need to get a good deal on the way out and a weak government will get shat on by the smarmy bastards in the EU parliament. We need a strong government at this time, no matter who it is, and a government that recognises that the people voted for Brexit and we will damn well have it. No matter what the whiners say.

It’s going to be an entertaining few weeks.